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Cloudy Heart Jan 26

Good ol’ Phillip Riley. The reason I am restrained in handcuffs, struggling but not able to put up much of a fight, being carried away from my beautiful -was to be- home. The red and blue lights are splashing back from the wet asphalt onto my cold face. I can assume it will only get worse from here, but it was worth it. She should have never crossed our paths and I have now made sure she will forever regret her decision. The only thing to do now is try and convince the jury this was an innocent act of passion. We will see who’s side they are on, after they hear all of the gruesome facts. All in all, the punishment fits the crime, and I accept.

Chapter 1: Mayville

My name is Mayville Houston. I am a single woman in my early 30s, nothing special. I am a licensed market coordinator at a real estate firm. For those of you who do not know what that is, I handle all of the appointments and paperwork that has to do with putting a home on the market as well as taking the home through escrow when we find a buyer. I love my job and there is always something new every day, but there are parts of it that can be repetitive and difficult. All and all, it is an amazing job and it pays the bills, I am grateful.

I am a coordinator to two amazing agents who are top producers, and hit the ground running every year. Needless to say I have my hands full coordinating these two. It is a blessing and a curse. I am a top performer with the top performers, but a lot of the time my personal life is sacrificed for the customer. Give and take. I start work at 8, make my lunch at 12, finish the day, work out, meditate, journal, paint, and do the activities that keep me sane throughout the day. I love my little life and how hard i have worked to get here.

Although every day is different and interesting things arise, nothing was as interesting as the day Phillip Riley and his wife Amber Riley walked through our office doors. It was a Tuesday like any other, all of us, heads down in our cubicles focusing on our work. I was on my second Redbull of the day, kind of a fanatic for them at the time, i felt that they got me through the day. Of course it was just sugary carbs, but I would be the last person to admit that.

Philip and Amber Riley bursted through our doors around 3:30pm. They had an appointment with my agents regarding some gorgeous houses in the area of Orange County that had caught their eye. I heard them come in, and being my agent’s coordinator, I got up and greeted them kindly, welcoming them to our office and introducing myself as Mayville Houston, my agent’s coordinator who will be assisting with all appointments and paperwork as we take them through escrow. I explained to them how excited I was that my agent Mariela would be taking them to see potential future homes. Amber asked if I would be joining them. I respectfully said I had to stay here at the office and take care of other clients. I could have sworn I saw a flash of sadness in Phillip’s face when I said that, but i have always been one to imagine things. There is no way.

Mariela comes out of her office and introduces herself to Phillip and Amber. Everyone is excited to start phillip and amber’s journey of purchasing a home. I wish them luck and hurry back to my cubicle, but before doing so I hand them a business card, letting them know they can call, text or email me with any questions they had regarding their appointments and paperwork. Mariela, Phillip and Amber were on their way out of the door, and I scurried back to my cubicle, trying to ignore what just happened. I swear I felt electricity between myself and Phillip Riley, but I think all of this time spent in this cubicle has me imagining things that just are not true.

Chapter 2: Phillip

*******, did I just witness an angel walk into the same room as me? She is going to help my wife and I purchase a home in the suburbs?

This is crazy. I am 35, settling down with my gorgeous wife Amber. She has strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes, skin as fair as a cherub angel, and a smile that could knock you dead. We are newly weds, so happy to be too. We recently married last August, and when we started discussing a more permanent place, neither of us could be happier about the idea.

But that was before I saw her. Mayville Houston. Apparently Mayville is what they call a “coordinator” in the real estate world. She deals with all of our paperwork, appointments, and assisting us through escrow. I did not know what that job entailed until she told me. Until her soft, plump lips and perfect smile explained her role as her luscious, brown curls bounced off of her shoulder. She was wearing a navy pencil skirt with a matching blazer. I tried to imagine what ******* were wrapping her perfect bottom. Tight waist, fat ***, *******, gorgeous face, hair and smile. Needless to say, Mayville took my breath away. Our first meeting was with Mariela only, Mayville did not attend. I was a bit saddened to hear she wouldn’t be joining, but i understood. I am a good man, a hard worker, a loyal husband… well, I was, completely, before i saw her, before i knew i had to have her, before i would stop at nothing to get her.

I think Mayville is my true soulmate. That is what my heart is telling me, right now…

Chapter 3: Mayville

A chip, Wednesday afternoon in February. For some reason, winter in California starts late. I am digging away at work for my deals when our office door opens. Usually i wouldn’t spare a second glance, but I realize right away who it is.

Phillip Riley stands, waiting for a greeting by our door. I stand up and straighten my outfit. I wear the same pencil skirt matching blazer combo, but today’s color is black. I walk up to him and chirp a quiet “Hello, Mr. Riley.” He smiles and says “why hello Miss Houston”. My knees want to buckle at his voice. It is like caramel dripping down a sundae on a hot day. His pressed, white shirt with a bright blue tie to compliment his perfectly chiseled jawline with just the right amount of stubble. He is about 6’5”, and has grey pants and very shiny dress shoes to compliment his white shirt and jawline. His hair is ***** blonde, but starting to grey. There is just something about this ******* man.
“What can I do for you, Mr. Riley?” I say, putting more confidence in my voice. “Please, call me Phillip”, he says warmly. He then explains to me he is meeting my agent Mariela, they have an inspection today, an appointment to ensure the property is in good condition, and his wife couldn’t make it due to being stuck at work. I get a little excited when he mentions Amber is not here. “Wait right here”, I say cheerily. “I will get Mariela for you right away.” I rush down the hall to let Mariela know that Phillip is here. She gets up and walks toward her door. Right before she walks out of it, she looks me dead in the eye and says “I see the way you look at him. Just be careful. Marriages are nothing to get involved in.” She gives my shoulder a squeeze and walks out. I love Mariela. She has always been like a mother figure to me. But something about the way she says that makes me shudder. I follow behind her quickly, heading back to my cubicle but hopelessly wanting to see Phillip one more time.

I watch them walk out the door. Phillip thanks me again, flashes me a smile, and walks out the door.

I can’t be imagining this electricity I feel between us. But Mariela is right, marriages are nothing to get involved in…

Chapter 4: Phillip

Another appointment that does not include Mayville. I am starting to get irritated. But I understand, she has to stay in her office and tend to other clients, like me. Each one’s needs different than the last. But I am not sure any of them have the needs i have…

I need her. I need to feel her on me, pressed against me, i need to feel what it is like to be inside of her, to release myself inside of her. God, what is wrong with me? I am married to Amber! We were talking about kids the other day! What is this feeling that has come over me recently? I cannot be feeling this way about another woman when we are searching for a house together. Am i completely insane? I need to nip these feelings in the bud before anything can get out of control. They are completely out of nowhere anyway. So I can make them go away out of nowhere too.

Mariela and I finish up the inspection, and she takes me back to her office since i left my car there. I notice there are lights still on in the building, and there is a silver honda civic still in the parking lot. I do not know, but i am hoping this is Mayville's car. I just want to see her one more time, her perfect body, in that tight matching professional outfit. Her pencil skirts drive me absolutely insane. ****, my train of thought got too crazy again. I. Am. A. Married. Man.

Mariella says goodnight to me. I say goodnight back and start to get in my car, and that is when I start to see her thick curls, flowing in the wind. I know I shouldn’t, but ****, I get back out of my car and walk towards her, while she is walking to her car.

“Hi Mr. Riley, er, I mean Phillip.” God, she is so ******* cute in addition to being so ******* ****.
“Hi, Mayville.” I say back. “You can call me May..” she says shyly. Why is she so cute?
“Okay, May. So what are your plans for this evening?” Innocent, but poking. “I was just going to head home… maybe have a glass of whiskey and binge some shows..” she says. “How about coming with me to the bar down the street?” I say, a bit more excited than I meant to.
I can see in her eyes she is unsure, but she nods silently. I motion for her to get in my car, and we ride together in silence to the bar about 5 minutes from her office. We get out of my car and I notice both of us fixing our attire. Curious, how both of us care how we look to one another tonight. I motion for her to walk in front of me as we walk to the front door of the bar. I open the door for her and tell the waitress we would like a table for 2. As we wiggle into our booth, our hands touch and it is hotter than a burning star. I know we both feel this, we have to. It is only a matter of time before I get my confirmation.

Chapter 5: Mayville

Oh my god. I cannot believe i am at a bar with a client. A client who I am assisting him and his wife in buying a home, mind you. He asks me what I would like. I shyly say “an old fashioned.” He grins from ear to ear and tells me that is his drink of choice as well. Am I imagining all of this? I already feel dizzy and we haven’t even gotten our drinks yet. The golden liquid with a slice of an orange peel arrives in front of us. We do a gentle cheers and I **** down half of my drink. Not only am I nervous but this week has been particularly tough and an old fashioned sounded like the best thing on earth at the moment. He says “eager, are we?” with that buttery voice that could melt a thousand candles at the same time. I smile nervously and just say “sorry, stressful week.” He knocks back half of his drink as well and just smiles at me. As if this man could get any sexier, *******. I smile and take another sip of my drink. I can’t help myself, I let myself melt in front of this man. I know he is married and nothing can happen between us, but something about him makes me feel safe enough to let my guard down. A warm home, in a winter storm,

We both have 3 drinks each. Cheeks burning red, I start to regret my decision a bit. I should not be out with a married man on a weekday. Truly, I can’t help myself at this point. We are both giggling about things each other has said. I smile, he smiles back. My hazel eyes glimmer with interest, hope, lust.

He pays the bill and we start walking out of the bar. I stumble once and he catches me. Even his touch is as soft as an angel. He leads me into his car, but instead of helping me into the front, he helps me into the back. I slowly ask “what are you doing?” He just shushes me and gets in the back too, on the opposite side of me. Once we are both inside of his car, he clicks the lock button, and puts up his front window shade.

I start to panic. What is happening? I cannot be doing this with a married man. What am I doing? What is he doing? What is going on?

As if he senses my panic, he grabs my face gently with both of his hands. He asks me gently to look at him, and i have no other choice, so I do. “It’s okay, I want this”, is all he says, before I see him lean forward to me and lets his lips touch mine. I feel his tongue part my lips and my eyes roll to the back of my head. He tastes like heaven and I can’t believe this is happening. Suddenly I am more confident than I have ever been. I am pulling up my skirt and I am unbuckling his belt and undoing the button on his pants at the same time. I feel the warm bulge in his boxers and I moan. I rub up against him once, showing him how much I want this too. He removes himself from his boxers and drags himself across my ****. I let out a wimper and he plunges his **** into my ***** full force. I let out a sharp gasp and he cups my mouth. I can’t believe this is happening. He feels so good, I could cry. I start to grind my hips down onto him. I see him release his arms and throw his head back, letting me know my movements are providing him what he wants. He places his hands on my hips as he thrusts into me as well. Each ****** and pull of his hands is harder than the last. I look into his glossy eyes and exhale deeply. He grabs my face, says “I’m..” and before he is finished, his tongue is back down my throat and I feel his hot liquid pumping inside of me. I bite his lip as I feel each pump inside of me. He grabs and ***** my ******* as we both finish climaxing together. His car windows are steamy, and we are both breathing hard. He looks up at me as I am still straddling him, and kisses me hard. He looks deep inside my eyes and says “now that i have had you, I won’t be able to stop.”

He drops me off at my car, and drives away. Leaving me shivering a bit in the night cold. But I don’t care. What I do care about is I just had crazy, beautiful *** with a man who i believe is my soulmate. I know he is married, but he is not married to the right woman…
A short thriller
Cloudy Heart Sep 2019
Do I need therapy?
Or do I just need to write?
days seem cloudy
and all I do is wait for the night
you make me crave to be alone
because that is how I feel
Even when we're both home.
The light may not be fading in you,
but in me
why is this so difficult for your pretty eyes to see?
You go on acting like everything is okay
when the reality is
it isn't, or won't be. even in a couple days.
Cloudy Heart Aug 2018
Start date: 5/16/17.
Your scent is intoxicating
It hurts how badly I crave you.
I want so badly to move away with you, leave everything behind, just go.
You're my favorite place
When I'm not with you all I do is bite my nails and wait until I'm with you again.
I know I break down quite a lot but I love you with every fiber of my being.
All I can write about is you and your sun kissed eyes
I will never, ever forget our first kiss.
You told me not to worry and for the first time ever I didn't
You're what makes life worth living.
Your smile is as calming as the sea
Not certain about anything really but I'm certain about you
You're my paradise
I can taste you in my coffee
You're the blood that flows through my dainty veins
There isn't a safe place in this world except your arms
I'm so incredibly in love with you
I just want to spend a whole day locked away uninterrupted with you
I love you so much that it physically hurts.
You are my sun, my moon, and all my stars.
You fill me with warmth I could NEVER feel anywhere else
Everything that comes out of your mouth is an amazing story I get ****** into
You showed me that home is not a place, it is a person, and that person is you
Your eyes are the absolute sunshine of my life
I never knew what comfort was until I met you
It doesn't matter where we go as long as I'm with you
Let's melt into the bed sheets
I want to write about all the good you make me feel
I'd follow you without thinking twice
I know I have a temper and my emotions are off the wall but I love you with all that I have.
I wake up just to sleep with you
I don't wanna be if I can't be with you
Please feel my yearning for you and come back to me.
I love you so ******* much, it felt so good to hold you.
You're my world forever.
I just wanna do everything I can to make you feel okay.
I could write about you forever baby
You warm my heart and my soul
My goal is to kiss you more times than the ocean has kissed the sand
I can feel our souls connect everytime we touch
Your fingertips kiss me and I am home
We are such a strong flame
I'm never prepared for how fast time flies when we're together
You make my heart overflow
You make me smile literally constantly
I don't mind going to sleep because I know you'll be in my dreams
I love when you leave me hickies
Being next to you is the only way I can sleep without sleeping pills
I cannot even express in words the absolute happiness and warmth you bring me every second of the day
In love with the way your smile plants a blooming garden in me
You saw me on the floor and you picked me up with just your smile
Your perfect smile gets me drunk
Listening to you talk is like reading my favorite book
Days really do feel like weeks without you
When we got together, love songs finally made sense
Me & my heart talk about you 24/7
I want to spend every second with you
Nothing tastes as good as your lips
Your eyes stung me at first, maybe that's because you saw straight into my soul all at once.
I wanna sit on you and bite your lip
I can write a book about every adventure we've ever had
Running my fingers through your hair brings me so much happiness
You paint pictures inside of me I can't even describe
All I saw was black and white until you came along and made me see color
Your eyes light up my whole entire life
I found myself inside of you
you made all my dreams come true
I didn't think I could ever be this happy & then you came back into my life and I can't even remember how upset I used to be
His whispers caressed me softly
You're my every star
I could write about you until the end of time
I want you in every way always
The only thing that truly makes me feel awake is his presence
I can't get over how beautiful your soul is
Our pictures make me smile from ear to ear
Every little line in your lips is poetry in itself
You were the water that made my rose of a heart bloom
I've always loved you, always
You're the whole forest in my heart
I want to wrap my arms around you forever
I used to sit on the train tracks for hours, wishing for someone like you
I absolutely love your hickies, show the world I'm yours on my skin
I write I love you all over your body with every kiss I plant
You make me feel so full in this empty world
I dream of time pausing and us exploring the world together
I live for our little getaways
Our love is so precious
I need your cuddles always
If you can't get drunk together and blast Backstreet Boys he ain't the one (****)
All the love songs are always about you
You make my heart flutter
I was always so lost then I found my way with you
I dream about your perfect face every night
I feel like a literal zombie until I finally see you again
You are, always have been, and always will be my entire universe
You make me melt so much
Home is: you.
You’re the everlasting warmth I feel running through my cheeks
You’re always always always on my mind
You’re my inspiration
He’s the only one
All I can think about is you and how you make me feel like cotton candy on a warm afternoon
You’re the only thing that makes life bearable.
You make me forget about all the troubles I’m going through
The world is ours
You illuminate me
You make me feel like my soul is melting in the best way
I’d be yours in a million lifetimes
I fell for you before I even touched the ground
You make my world go round
I’m sorry but nothing exists without you
I want to give you everything you want.
I'm just a sack of skin and bones without you
Baby I love you to death
I have always been and always will be yours
I don't wanna eat I don't wanna sleep I just want to be in your arms and hear your heart beat.
You are the only thing that makes everything okay
I love you with my entire being
We both started crying because we didn’t know what we’d do without each other, and that was such a special moment.
Eyes for you and only you
I love you so much, you have no idea
Take my hand, you and me against the world.
Thinking about marrying you makes me cry every time.
He is my every single heart beat.

End date: 8/6/2018
These are little mini poems I have written about him from may 2017 to august 2018. enjoy.
Cloudy Heart Apr 2018
I feel unheard
as if I've never spoken a word
I feel left in the dust
I feel the broken trust
I feel pain in the weirdest places
blood stained shirts without the traces
I feel alone
like I'm missing my home
there's so much going on
and so little hours in the day
I feel as if I've gone crazy
as if I'll never find a way
I need comfort, I just do
and I don't want to feel like I burden you
these broken pieces I place in your hands
are yours to fix, because this is pain I can't stand
I feel unheard
as if I've never spoken a word
  Mar 2018 Cloudy Heart
Jackie Mead
We are strong and in love, I love everything you do
You pull me to your side, put your arms around my waist
Kiss me on the lips so tenderly and sweet
Take off my shoes and massage my feet
You make me laugh when I am down, working hard to remove that frown

We are strong and in love, I love everything you do
You wake me up with your kisses all over my face
Let me know that you want me the minute you're awake
Fill me with your love, in bed it’s give and take
You show me your love and support every day, in all that you do and all that you say 

We are strong and in love, I love everything we do
We raised three children to be good not bad
Had lots of laughter and our fair share of sad
Young grandparents at just 45 but holding little Tansy bought such joy to our lives

We are strong and in love, I love everything we do
Fabulous holidays to the South of France
Romantic Meals followed by a dance
Days out to the beach and the Park, parties in the garden until after dark
Holidays to the Caribbean and the USA
Along the way loved ones fallen but memories remain
Talking about our losses keeps the mind sane

We are strong and in love, I love everything we do
Now we step back into our roles as husband and wife but
most importantly lovers for life
Hold my hand baby and let's go
the whole world awaits for us to roam

We are strong and in love, I love everything we do
Love for our family will never end but now is our time my dearest best friend
So let's live our life, enjoy the ride, taking each day in our stride
Forever together and by each others side

It's been 36 years since we said I do
36 years of loving you
I wrote this for my husband but he says I can share it with you.
Cloudy Heart Mar 2018
I don't wanna eat
I don't wanna sleep
I just want to be in your arms
  and hear your heart beat
I have always been
  and will always be yours
every time you smile
   you give me something new to adore
I have always loved you
even when I didn't know
all the times I longed for you
  I wish I could show
but now you're with me
and as the world can see
our souls were absolutely
meant to be
  Mar 2018 Cloudy Heart
the sky was a placid blue and the resplendent morning light enveloped the world in a golden bliss. and yet it felt as though the warmth of the sun could not quite reach me; the natural beauty of the earth unfolded before me as if to mock at my unhappiness and somehow left me feeling all the more empty. i longed for it to rain
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