Someone called me fickle once
In high school
I had to look the word up
In the dictionary
And I didn’t agree
With their assessment
Unsure, yes
Unconfident, always
But fickle? No.
I just wanted
To be liked
You were the fickle one

I came upon the page and thought to write of who I am and who I was.
I thought it best to explain the things that people saw when they looked my way.
How I came to be what I see in my own reflection.
I gave benefit of doubt that they would or could then have some understanding. Perhaps naivety was my flaw?
The more I wrote the fewer looked.
Is it simply me or the openness that makes it so?
Is it what they see or the not wanting to really know?
Could it be that honesty is a frightening thing?
Am I better off to keep secrets and carry a facade?
Would then perhaps more be interested in who I am?
Would they then have the time to stop a while?
Or is it simply having seen they see no value?
And yet it is that I still need to fill the page...
and to hope someone will see me and stop a while.

Unfortunately you are not for everyone. Not everyone will like you. Not everyone will love you regardless of what you do and how nice of a person you are. Not everyone will vibe with your energy and not everyone will understand and support you.

Even though it is a bitter pill to swallow at times don't let it make a turmoil of your emotion and deplete your energy. Because your time and energy is so much more precious than exhausting yourself by shapeshifting to pander to the whims of others, moulding yourself to fit in every where and hence retaining no shape to call your own.

Choose not to sacrifice your uniqueness to succumb buttering up their bread. To Be selective with your energy by politely waving them goodbye to stand by your values and lifestyles that most deeply resonate with you. Choose to take social risks regardless of the awkward glances and haughty whispers. Choose to not care of what others think to the point it stifles your ability to take risks and disrupt your social satisfaction.

For there is nothing more liberating than to not waste your life allowing the faultfinders to dictate your actions. To seek to align your actions with your heart. To stand up for something, to do and believe what brings  content regardless of it being disliked. It is beautifully candor being your authentic self.

I had never really liked you
Until that day,
When I noticed
You didn’t look at me
With shame.

by Arcassin Burnham



The flowers and the trees,
from the ground to a branch as it swings with a beautiful gust
of wind,
And as it blows,
The feels come rushing through like the hypothesis of everything
created when it comes to an beginning era..
it nearly is when diamond valley makes you see the light,
too bright for the likes of your eyes like goodbyes of friends you knew before,
brain cells carry memories of lust and death like flies carry diseases,
remembering the last time you pivoted into oblivion with materialistic things
in life,
uploading a post on your samsung,
pacing back and forth with the same song,
and this song is so beautiful and lucid like ambiance
that it would be impossible to stop singing in an awe moment,
your brain caught it.

There are few things more satisfying
than watching a lone mosquito
furiously trying to drill
baby, drill
circling the drill site
pushing and pushing
Do mosquitos sweat?
on the roof
of your car.

I slept with Depression

It started off w a break up
I was feeling lonely
You told me that you were
the only one who wanted to know me

I took you to my house but I didn't show my parents
Because they wouldn't like you and wouldn't understand

I took you to my room so that we could be alone
You started ******* and
showed me everything I could unfold

Started kissing on your lips of sadness

Rubbing on your body of confusion

Moved my hand down to your universe

I licked your stars and
Felt your gravitational pull

I tasted your black hole until
you finally came upon me and I fell into oblivion

When you finished I was under your control

I was stuck, Trapped
I was never good enough
My friends would ask
But talking about you was so tough

You made me look at life and question
Sent me in the wrong direction
You watched me self loathing
but always gave me your affection

You said you would be there for me and
told me what drugs to keep you near
You took advantage of my sorrows and
capitalized on my fear

I couldn't figure out how to please you
I always wanted to get out

I started to try to receive you
But you always showed some doubt

And as the skies turned dark
And then nights turned cold

I would sit with you in awe
Because u would never let me go.