my head aches
when you cross my mind

my lips sting
when your name slithers it's way out from between them

my heart crumbles
when it beats for you
but then realises
you don't belong to it
and it doesn't belong to you

and that will never be so

I left happy
I woke up depressed and empty
everything seems meaningless
alone with my thoughts
i repeating nightmare that won't stop
I don't know if I can keep going on

Feel it now, I touch the tender flesh that's crammed between my tea stained bones. My legs are throbbing, from running in circles, trying to stay on your tail.
But the flesh was stripping from my bones with every sprint I took.
Veins throbbing, I felt like crumbling.
I saw nothing but your shadow then, taunting me as you danced backwards away from me, your crescent smile left the only moon illuminating my dark.
It was faint and fast, gone leaving me in an oblivion of nothing.
Feel it now, I touch the tender flesh that's crammed between my tea stained bones.
Shin splints. Painful with every step I attempt to take, eventually my muscles will heal, sure,
Yet I'm still out of breath. Yet my heart is still racing. Yet I can't seem to catch a break.

Its been a while,
since i finally accepted
the end.
But my heart still aches,
everytime i think
of how we ended.

And if i could go back,
I wish i could tell you:
I stayed for so long not ,
not because i was weak.
But because i believed
in the good person in you.

I left, not because you
stopped wanting me,
but because i no longer
loved myself by loving you.

I felt my body falling into deeper pain yesterday.
Like a shadow that drains with sharp and lingering aches.
Like a monster waiting to take its victim.
I'm where sleep feels so close and so much further.
I can't sleep or stay awake and it's torture.
I'm trapped.
I find no comfort.
I have no escape.
I'm my bodies enemy.
My mind is heavy and my thoughts confused and blurry.
I'm less of me today.
Even though yesterday I was less me.
Today I'm lesser me then I've been in weeks.
I feel depressed and frustrated.
Frustrated with my mind, and body.
Today is a reminder why yesterday was better.
Even though I was tired and my back taunted me with its nagging wide spread hurt.
Today is more.
And I am less.
Uncomfortable, unhappy, and unable to exact my discription of this curse.
Fibromyalgia's friend.
It won't let me go.
And Fibromyalgia's enemy.
It won't let me go...
This is me.
This is not me.
I'm but a shadow of me ninety percent of my life.

For all your frustration,
go bellow into the ear of the wind.

For all your unrest,
go whisper into the crush of the sea.

For all your aches,
Go sigh into the sheets of your slumber.

For all thoughts shouting in the night,
Go Find an ear
that gives you the time of day.