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I can't hold a conversation with them
They spit each word with their own hurt
They come to me hurling my own agony
They are wicked and cruel
I will not shed a tear yet
The clock will strike midnight
I might shed a tear
I might just let my agony turn into anger
Cruel and wicked are their intentions
I bite my own tongue and keep quiet
If I become numb to my emotions
What will I become
When midnight comes
I'll be numb
-- this is a way for me to vent my emotions a few days ago I will not edit or change anything it's what I was thinking and going through in that moment
written on:14/03/18
All I feel is rage
My skin hot to the touch
I'm getting angrier as time passes by
I don't know how to handle it
I'm controlling myself but my mind is chaotic
It's like poison it's taking over
I wanna give in
Maybe it's all in my head
But for hells sake it better stop
Maybe i'm the one feeding my anger
My hands are shaking
My breath uneven
I can feel it manifesting
I'm not happy
--I wrote this a few days ago I was angry with myself I suppose my anger manifested I couldn't control the anger that I felt I just was hot to the touch I felt as if I was suffocating with the people all around me--
written on:14/03/18
belladonna it seems that you're deadly
such a beautiful name for a deadly plant
belladonna erase my pitiful existence
take my pain away
let me wither away
I cannot stand this **** any longer
take me away
belladonna
atropa
night shade
death
will edit later on
When I found out that you tried dying
I wept like a newborn
I let my misery soak me up
My days and nights got wrapped up in each other
days began to blur
I did not hear any news from you
I lost myself in a wave of sadness
how could I lose someone that I love
Stone were thrown at me
not the physical ones
but the verbal stones
do you catch my drift?
that voices that haunt me in the middle of the night
claw at my mind
they scream in agony and fear
do you see the unknown that i know so well?
time feels like a stretch
time is useless as it not?
they say emotions can control ones action
yet when my emotions are bottle up
they end up spilling from its cup
it's as if crimson flames lick my skin
anger courses through my veins
fueled by my own hate
I drift apart from the realm of reality
do you not see me hurting?
do you not see me drifting for reality?
i'm my own destruction
i have to set myself free
one day i'll see clear skies
as of now my skies are grey
just as a flower
my loved blossomed
it grew to be a beautiful flower
my colors full of life
eventually every beautiful flowers fate
you cut me off
I withered away
my petals withering away
the last of life left me
I held on for to long
now i'm **** and dead
you cut my life
now I'm dead
to be thrown away
I left happy
I woke up depressed and empty
everything seems meaningless
alone with my thoughts
i repeating nightmare that won't stop
I don't know if I can keep going on
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