I got into a car accident today
My fear is rooted in the familiarity that I found
As we collided and in the wavering second after--
As my body stilled
In the sound of the metal crunching from a forward force
And the thump-like drop
That shot from my throat straight to the bottom of my stomach
The sudden compression of metal has startling similarities;
To those same compressions that reside in a realm of loose thoughts
The tension of my fibers contracting into each other
Reaps an illusion of protection
My left leg experienced a shocking pulse of pressure--
One which did not linger
My eyes took position;
Readying themselves to flow
Before the impact my mouth released--
Three
Small
Pitched
Words…

My hair smells like carrot cake,
it holds onto things like that-
and accidental kisses
that were not very kind.

I’m sorry,
by the way.

I forgot your lips were trouble
and you have a troubled mind.

I can see blood scattered in the road,
I can see myself lying there
Whilst covered in red liquid;
Crowds are going crazy everywhere,
I can here their screams,
They talk so loud as they panicked hard;
Tears of bitterness sprout within me,
Why do people cares when it's too late?

I had a dream, that you crashed and
burned
I ran to you,
my body shaking,
𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑟.
It was not a dream.
How can I fit the whole of you in my arms again
Your body so alive and breathing, real in a way I
don't know what to do with
I am not strong enough to stop your fire
I wish I could, for a while
step back,
no fear.
Breathe you in and
hold you close
and say "You are loved because these hands touch you,
these arms hold you,
this skin knows you
and this heart longs for you."
They are all mine, and yours too,
the crash, the burns, all fire.
I'll make it stop if you allow me to.

car window moonlight,
familiar music plays through
crackling speakers,
serenading us.

muttered confession,
I pretend I do not hear
and will say I have forgotten
but I might never.

fearless actions,
stunning your audience,
I do not applaud
but I crave an encore.

quiet drive home
on deserted roads.
we panic at midnight,
then laugh at dawn.

--r.s.

I didn’t know you
until I ripped you
from your family
and tore their world apart.

It only took seconds.

You, average and easy to miss
yet shining still, still shining
in a blur of tracksuits and hoodies
makes it harder still to see you every time.

Would I give my life to not miss again.

An ‘accident’ they say
As I am bathed in their contempt.
You must not feel ‘guilty’ but they are liars;
They, whose pain is so much bigger than mine.
But  I cannot hold the mourners’ hands
Still only grieve within

I didn’t know you
until I became consumed by you.
The dark deep hurt I am not allowed to release
no comfort in precedent or in faith
that teaches evil can be redeemed.
Only deep regret for no crime committed

The seconds it took to take our lives.

I remember my place,
the one you promised me

You were going to shower me with jewels and royalty. While I danced for you in that throne room.

My kingdom has gone dark, somehow you left me,

yet we are still the king and queen of a miraculous tragedy.