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Karijinbba Nov 2018
My old true love rdd=PC
wrote this poem to me on HP.
~~~~~
"I fall in love."
"Death would be liberating
but I wouldn't suggest jumping off a cliff"
                                               NO
"And for the life of me I hold on
to shaddy realities,
and an odd feeling of never being enough."

"I don't know what will happen"

IT IS ALL OUT OF MY HANDS

IT'S ALL OUT OF TIME"
~~~~
( my spontaniety of first thought)
my response 2018 is:

I fall in love too I choose life.
dearest true love of yore
from your holy hands
your love unto my heart falls
joining my spirit soul
precious twin flame
and here with me  love won't die

nor can unconditional love
into my hands ever perish

true love needs not be liberated
as no TREASON ever existed
you just got me ALL WRONG!

And since when orphanes
in protective custody hiding for their life after Feds and murderers buchered her family and loved ones in childhood

and throughout adolecence years  a faulty weak covert adoption witness protection program forcing victim to live as an exiled fugitive??
due to a horrendous loss of life

You simply didn't know me
for the task you and your brother assigned to me dearest ones
and isn't it treason on your part to abandon an amnesic loved one
only because it wasn't written in an old script?
some lovers being in love
feeling betrayed and hurting
do jump off a cliff
like you did It hurts do much to understand your pain physical and mental too
Still others jump into amnesic shocks becoming like I did
DEATH CALM! its very painful
i had no shell shick therapyst no councellings just hell left behind
I don't recomment either one
ways to hurt for living one another presence was needed!

both ways of hsndling pain
are equally distructive unfruitful look at me now!
you have support family bank
structure how do I win from here  I healed living in denial.
my ignorsnt ways ended in heartbreaking tragedy more for me than for you
You were my hero my knight
I loved you always will i was in love with you I hurt too
We were so identical twin flames from the inside thinking modes
both feeling so small
and never enough for each other!
because we were apart!
And both so brightly colored in the outside with Gs light
very rare occurance
a triumph for the finding
worth the fame intended
worth the pain of defeat endured
for the best can only be bought at the cost of great pain and sacrifice!!
my pain went to sleep in an amnesic transformative shock
I have always loved you
and as you see I did jump!
Right into 'death' and 'knife'
i transformed to survive
Read my birth chart both Death and Knife remain a blessing and a curse to me such mystery
but both protecting me just the same!
two protective mechanisms
per the Mayan calendar.
such a mystery we both are.
Death saving me from 'death'
and knife'cutting' through my pain a cold ice blade
there transforming me
Death Calm and silent!
I am not insensitive I feel love
death needs not be liberating
my soul knowing true love
will rest in peace with some regrets
I promised our unborn childten that no love fame nor great fortune would be greater then the love I feel for them all
and I kept my painful promise
but it was the end of me
In your eyes
I must have shrank smallest yet
misunderstood I go unless you read me here on HP the final fronteer unless you read
my memoir but we are both running out of time
lovers die in more ways than jumping off cliffs

precious love thank you for loving me
it hurt me very deeply to let you go so long ago
I am the woman who loves you the most in this whole wide world
I could have given my life for just one day though to have understood you grabbed you!
to have known what to do
what not to do,
where to go, where not to go,
what to say, what not to say.
what to think and what not to think!
i didn't understand you!
so I feared you
I couldn't fight every greedy jealous woman for your love as the left behind gap how?
forgive me please beloved
I felt too small and worthless

I had no idea anyone on earth would love me too back!
much less enough as to jump of a cliff to hurt that much for my life to benefit as new Eve
even changing earth with you
a worlds new adam Back then

I sincerely did not understand what you had planed to do after my impatient ignorant fall

Life had only taught me
to feel insignificantly tini especially when being taunted
mistreated and challenged
abandonement syndrome
was my demise dince childhood
your mind games and head riddles smothered my dreams
of you me for us.

loving you more than
I loved myself was understood
very well that's what life
had taught me to do
to let go of everything I ever loved the most
when all life did was take chunks of my family and my life.
You were life's reward to me
without you by my side
I became speechless Dead Calm
stump like on Mothers day.

'sorry' can't depict the black hole
that has swallowed you
and me apart
nor pain depict the bottomless pit that living without you is

I too fell into my death
heartbroken as you announced
a JaneHilton freeway driving
in oposite directions was agony when in your letter
you wrote you had a wife!

I fell into the abyss and I died
I was only nineteen then

Then came hell getting me stranded at the fork road
all the way to hell Greece

smily kind penpal demons helped me up a plane ticket

two in all even married me not to avert authorities of my impending death with their treacherous agendas
IT WAS ALL STAGED
as was much of my life on earth.

I am glad we met
glad we loved each other
near or far
in G
s hands we both are.
~~~
By:Karijinbba-Copy Rights
2017 revised 03/ 29/2020.
excerpt from my Memoar written throughout my life.
Karijinbba Oct 2020
Dearest everything:
I don't want you to leave empty-handed please take it all
every treasure known
and unknown, every loot
you are familiar with
upon that hill.
It's all yours I will only be harmed
take even my beloved precious children
I won't miss them or worry about them if you have them
to love them
as your very own!
They know no other father than you.
Those three children you lost,
I have them against all odds.

I trust only you after God
only you after any other human
on Mother Earth
after poverty joy and happiness,
after caos after
every terrible disaster.
You got heart brains charm grace heart understanding
you are a King of kings
God sent by heavens bridge
I love you so much.
I always have, always will;
before and after every treasure
every blessing is you.
~~~~~~~
By,:Karijinbba
All copy rights apply.
Oct--2020.
words left unsaid are more than just any bittersweet regret.
They are knives wounds that never stop bleeding
Karijinbba  Sep 2021
Rebuked not.
Karijinbba Sep 2021
Sweeie pie mine
There's not a thing
I don't like about you
nothing I don't find in you
as fascinating as air sleep
food health joy utter happiness
birth city voice hips thighs oh
strutted walk talk smile lips sigh
how you wash my lingerie
parfume it and fold it dear
AMAME BESSAME!
You are my tree of life.
my GR, Rdd love pole you!
Ram me my everything
in good in bad times
you drive me mad
in love with thee
llámame
quiereme.
~~~~
Angel-Katijinbba.
https://youtu.be/eqQB4Lnhd_E
Somewhere in time!
Come back to me.
My love
Two minds one single thought
Two hearts one single beat
Thats is still us dear
I love thee rdd-Jpc
"I still exist" twin flame yee
did write entailing all this.

As the world bends it loops.
I find thine sylhuette dancing
hobbering around me.
Looping me back to life
Yee never left me beloveth pc
Thanks for waking me up
For watching over me rdd

"Each night before I go to sleep, not knowing if I shall wake up ever again,
but with your name in my lips I see the sunshine
again and again.!" PC-Rk.

I love thee so much
I think of thine courage
love brain heart, grace,
It all defines me within

In thine arms forever
I remain to part never
My Angel guardián
yee have saved me sweet P.
Yee bit the apple yee love me

This love I have shared
With human predators, wolves, boys beggards
enemies poets and kings.

But allmy travels spin me back into thy loving kindness and wise patient love's serenity.
whence happily ever after

I, i, still exist.
~~~~~~
https://youtu.be/QPROkOaqE_4

based on my life's true events
Somewhere in time.
(RDD-BBA)
~~~~
The universe conspires as mirror to mine soul's eye,
I see myself as best friend
Or worst enemy.

I feel and see thy painted canvas in mine sky,
turning blue, with clouds
of white, trees of green.

Treasure map on hand.
And lullaby in mind's eye
Thine courage wisdom, grace my true north compass is.

First time I ever saw thee
Mine lovers face !
The poetess in me began
in poem to trace it's magic.

The friend in my mirror,
I now see is also thee.
And in thy mirror
yee too can see me.
Confidant, I love thee.

I sow myself in mirror clearly
and I learned to love
myself in thine eyes poetry.
Thine wild bird of paradise
I too in word paint.

The best poetry we devour
and share fully, roots
from our own hearts,
Forever in love.
~~~~~~
Karijinbba- rdd/bba
at Mr and Mrs Andrews.
https://youtu.be/5fE4_8b0490
Karijinbba Jul 2021
Oh beloved Ruler jpc-RDD,
Since I fell
into thy honey ***
I am some honey bee
stuck on thee.!
I can't stop writing poetry!

Gosh I think I am
becoming thee!
Sweet Honey PA pie bee.
Yee art stuck on me!
Angel Cherry Rick piepppp.
I wrote another ice on fire
cherry pie getting yee higher
Dipped in ice frost
with cream on fire.

Served piping hot inked
In buttery poem dipped
In sweet pie honey bee
for me and for thee!
~~~~
By:Karijinbba.
2021
Karijinbba Aug 2021
Astilleros De Veracruz
Independence street.
~~~~~~~
The summer sun went down on our love long ago
But in my heart I feel the same old after glow
A love so beautiful in every way
we let it slip away
I was too young to understand to ever know and comprehend.
You my Adam and me your Eve
owned our treasure,
buried in paradise by a stream;
all lost upon a hillside stump.
where the road bent in.
There I've read between the lines
your love was written not
in any shifting sand but in heart.
The Earth's sand doons account
for the measure of my sorrow
for our loss.
Recovering that memory chip saved
my life averting neverending
pain an upside down cross.
A love so beautiful a love so free
A love for you and me
And when I think of you I fall in love still again as every good man is taken.
A love so beautiful in every way.
Your love now transfers to my new love finding me adrift in that dream.
A love so beautiful it is written
In poem, and in song.
Seen in movies, operas
and lullaby's to heal hearts strong.
Stripping the mind of misery
and pain as lost is found.
A love so beautiful it's read sparkling
as diamonds in shifting sands.
A love so beautiful kept secret
in our cave of wonders for lovers
writing daily to one another
where magic and true love abounds.
A kind of love to everlast.
~~~~~~
By: Karijinbba
Approved by Rdd and
Michael Bolton in Hollyeood.
https://youtu.be/JcNwnWmruns
Story poem:
RDD vs JPC, BBA vs ASG.

It's mother's Day 2024 I think of fame and great fortune
All wealth and wisdom links from you son of God. My Jesus my beloved best friend best lover best husband best father ever in Earth.
Dearest Darning Pat
Saint Patrick's Day passed too; before that was Saint Valentine's Day. And for Christmas I couldn't find a snowy all village card to send you my precious one my all.
I love you more and more with your aka and your fame your good fortunes your generosity your gold heart my love.my everything.
I love you as Jsack for Rose in Titanic, As foolish Scarlett for Rhett in Gone with the wind book.
Meggie in love with in the thorn Birds Rachel Ward and
Richard Chambelane such pain sorrow.
I think of you in Starry Night painting the pain that lasts forever. Stuck in a famed painting my pain too.
I may not ever sing another song but only one about us
"Sing and dance with me with the Violins."
And this one¡: The music played me with RDD vs JPC.
~~~~~~~
As the music played: Repost

An angry silence lay where love had been
And in your eyes a look I'd never seen
If I had found the words you might have stayed
But as I turned to speak, the music played
As lovers danced their way around the floor
I sat and watched you walk towards the door
I heard a friend of yours suggest you stayed
And as you took his hand, the music played
Across the darkened room the fatal signs I saw
You'd been something more than friends before
While I was hurting you by clinging to my pride
He had been waiting, and I drove him to your side
I couldn't say the things I should have said
Refused to let my heart control my head
But I was made to see the price I paid
And as he held you close, the music played
And as I lost your love, the music played
https://youtu.be/-HK_4xvbrEk?si=nmpbDh40EbBsn3UV
Karijinbba Dec 2023
November 1974- 2023- Sonnet 75.

The two of us re-married
RDD=BBA JPC=ASG, we became one
my first true love and I again;
one of countless times
rddbba style.

Joy and happiness
is all we know
as we lay beneath the starry sky
One promise fulfilled at a time.

Our pain is nothing
but distant
and faint memories.

Our boundaries know
not a single enemy.
Not a single foe remains
alive.
Our friends are
a legion elites.
~~~~
By:Karijinbba
All rights
(Thanks for reading love you all friend or foe)
~~https://youtu.be/kPUxdt1FZRY?si=x9SBCfGYXB_0-Csa
Karijinbba Aug 2020
Pictures in the memory chip
woke me up from a long sleep
as amnesia's burried pain
unresolved takes flight

I woke up to see my beast
and did weep for way too long
I saw my beauty within silenced
my inner cores sacred seed
stumped.
my tree of life chopped
I weeped harder then ever then
I loved myself dearly so
and lived
waiting for another chance
to bloom again
blessed with marriage's vows
and many precious kids
I sided with beauty to comfort my beast within to give it the love attentive it needed emergently so.

I survived a loving Mother
badly trashed
envied discriminated birthing
was torturous in the hands of evil jealous sadistic Medeas.

they were the snakes
in everyones paradise
angry I had succeeded
in all they've failed
surviving their many attempts

I survived chasing few boys
chasing me only
with their lethal horn
they lacked courage
heart and brains
to chase me
with heart and soul
I sought for a best husband
that had long passed me by
leaving me behind
to brew longer into
my mangled core
into his aged best
wine reserve

He quickly Married brewing
another woman's wine tougher
oh the pain he caused me!
the daggars deeper dugged.

I roamed the internet
singles sites ever looking
to fill in the void in my kids
A father figure I only sought
for my cherished beloved
young kids
and for a lifetime I did look
asleep in my pain failing again,
in all the wrong places I did look.

Unaware that two bad as* boys
had came pre-paid by my ex or his
consort ** to trash me, to use me
to video tape me just enough and
to continue with a look alike
***** player on sale
ALL
just to trash me more in his eyes.
just to abandon and curse me.
May the internet singles web
of vipers the bad boys
the shadow people entities
no longer thrive.
To the bottom of the sea drown
take the hungry wolves down
an eye for an eye
justice I seek

Later on, the stranger
pre paid **** asked me
to not look back not to crash
Written in a photo post card
depicting two handsome
well dressed men flying
their private luxury airplane.

Same image my lover
rdd had sent in 75
two decades back!.

I found only heartache, misery
and pain by greedy wolves
posing as safe gentlemen
seeking a wife to be.

I took a lot more dangerous risks
many protective Moms would fret

my happier songs unplayed
remained in Hollywood
tower high subsidy abode.

Our dream and my legal identity
in his safety deposit box hid
a lifetime too long
for our harvest to yield it's fruit

My poet lover found me
available unmarried broke
on the singles adds web
again and again in secret
with hope I rejoiced.

he seemed *******
on our old script
he'd cursed me with
yielding no fruits

I lacked resource purse to run
to chase after him kids and all.

He must have given his gold seeds
allowing her generic matrix
edged in greed and jealousy
to grow'm to tie him down.

How's this story poem mine
similar to pictures on the web
photos on an ancient script?

My story poem pictures paint
"a thousand words.*
~~~~~~~~~~~
By: Karijinbba
Copy Rights
when a picture paints a thousand words
the story takes flight across the world it touches someone's heart.
Karijinbba  Jul 2021
PA- Kemah.
Karijinbba Jul 2021
One Man Woman I am!
who can my will bend?
My ancient Rickpt is married
He froze ON me, in shame I weep!
I exist only as buried loot in his
memory chip a known fool.
An awakening in my mine.
My true North king he was.
I remember him well.

A new identical lover
Is cradled in the fabric
of Indian space for me,
between yearning voids.
and virtual true love in poem,
our grace reads true. our enemy
snare titens
Distance norrows.
Single flower pollinator
Virtual jaanam prēmī
My shame is iced blue.
Let thine ink flow
to paint my loner gates light
and end my bitter mourning.
at zone, Twighlight.
Spill thine heart my friend
to mary golds own woods.
Write thy verse clear
sōja prēmī soojan premee
~~~~
Rich-Rdd fair well beloved.
I so wish you well.
~~~~~
By Karijinbba.
7595/7-21
https://youtu.be/6KvO7dUZEYk

— The End —