My old true love rdd=PC wrote this poem to me on HP. ~~~~~ "I fall in love." "Death would be liberating but I wouldn't suggest jumping off a cliff" NO "And for the life of me I hold on to shaddy realities, and an odd feeling of never being enough."
"I don't know what will happen"
IT IS ALL OUT OF MY HANDS
IT'S ALL OUT OF TIME" ~~~~ ( my spontaniety of first thought) my response 2018 is:
I fall in love. and dearest true love of yore from your holy hands all your love for me right into mine has fallen precious twin flame and here with me love won't die nor can unconditional love in my hands ever perish
true love needs not be liberated as no TREASON ever existed you just got me ALL WRONG!
And since when orphanes in protective custudy hiding for their life after Feds and murderers buchered her family and loved ones in childhood throughout sdolecence years is a criminal instead of a victim? On a faulty witness protection program forcing victim to live as an exiled fugitive?? due to a horrendous liss of life
You simply didn't know me for the task you and your brother assigned to me and isn't it treason on your part to abandon an amnesic loved one only because it wasn't written in an old script? some lovers being in love feeling betrayed and hurting do jump off a cliff like you did. Still others jump into amnesic shocks becoming like I did DEATH CALM! I don't recomment either one! both are equally distructive forms of living in denial. foolish ways to end a heartbreaking tragedy.
We were so identical twin flames from the inside thinking modes both feeling so small and never enough for each other!
And both so brightly colored in the outside with Gs light very rare occurance a triumph for the finding worth the fame intended worth the pain of defeat endured for the best can only be bought at the cost of great pain and sacrifice!! my pain went to sleep in an amnesic transformative shock I have always loved you and as you see I did jump! Right into 'death' and 'knife'
Read my birth chart both Death and Knife remain a blessing and a curse to me such mystery but both protecting me just the same! two protective mechanisms per the Mayan calendar
Death saving me from 'death' and knife'cutting' through my pain a cold ice blade there transforming me Death Calm and silent! I am not insensitive I feel love death needs not be liberating my soul knowing true love will rest in peace with some regrets I promised our unborn childten that no love fame nor great fortune would be greater then the love I feel for them all and I kept my painful promise but it was the end of me
In your eyes I must have shrank smallest yet misunderstood I go unless you read me here on HP the final fronteer unless you read my memoir but we are both running out of time lovers die in more ways than jumping off cliffs
precious love thank you for loving me it hurt me very deeply to let you go so long ago I am the woman who loves you the most in this whole wide world I could have given my life for just one day though to have understood you to have known what to do what not to do, where to go, where not to go, what to say, what not to say. what to think and what not to! i didn't understand you! so I feared you I couldn't fight every greedy jealous woman for your love as the left behind forgive me please beloved I felt too small and worthless
I had no idea anyone on earth would love me much less enough as to jump of a cliff to hurt that much for my life to benefit as new Eve even changing earth with you a worlds new adam Back then
I sincerely did not understand what you had planed to do after our loss Life had only taught me to feel insignificantly tini especially when being taunted mistreated and challenged abandonement syndrome was my demise your mind games and head riddles smothered my dreams of you me for us
loving you more than I loved myself was understood very well that's what life had taught me to do to let go of everything I ever loved the most when all life did was take chunks of my family and my life. You were life's reward to me without you by my side I became speechless Dead Calm stump like on Mothers day.
'sorry' can't depict the black hole that has swallowed you and me apart nor pain depict the bottomless pit that living without you is
I too fell into my death heartbroken as you announced a JaneHilton freeway driving in oposite directions was agony when in your letter you wrote you had a wife!
I fell into the abyss and I died I was only nineteen then
Then came **** getting me stranded at the fork road all the way to **** Greece
smily kind penpal demons helped me up a plane ticket
two in all even married me not to avert authorities of my impending death with their treacherous agendas IT WAS ALL STAGED as was much of my life on earth.
I am glad we met glad we loved each other near or far in Gs hands we both are.
excerpt from my Memoar written throughout my life.