Binary emotion,
On or off,
Smile or frown,
Love or hate,
One or the other,
No in between,
A painted mask,
To hide my eyes,
That run a system check,
On every face in range,
Good or bad?
Trustworthy or liar?
Decided immediately,
By a single glance,

But only outside cyberspace,

For on connection,
The server responds,
My mask fragments,
I release the inner-workings of my soul,
To so many,
And my fake smile,
Finds new truth,
In words flickering on a screen,
My feelings reconfigure,
And my default gateway,
Becomes conversation,
Not a cold shoulder,
Reboot.

Her eyes behind shades
Voice singing the song I sang
Hands tracing circles in her hair  

My eyes drawn to hers
My voice yearning to catch hers in my lips
My hands dream of following hers  

Could her world become mine?

Why do the trees cry,
On the happiest day?
Why do tears fall from their leaves?
Why, when the moon's full,
Do they weep through the night?
Can they not share in our love?

Maybe they can,
But they haven't yet,
Because if they had,
They would never cry again.

I don't want to go,
I can't,
I messed everything up,
Let me stay home.
My head hurts,
I've had a cold,
I don't think I can get up,
Please, let me stay home.
I'm telling you,
I can't focus,
I won't be forced t-
Wait, was that my phone?

I heard its buzz,
Beside my head,
Who was it?
What have they said?
It's her, Oh God!
Don't let her hate me,
I made a mistake yes,
But still be my friend, please.
"Meet me in the library,
At the start of lunch",
She doesn't sound mad,
Or is that just a hunch?
The decision's made for me,
I'll happily go!
If not anything else,
I just need to know.
If she hates me that's fine,
I understand,
If not, then great!
That's better than planned.
The morning went so slowly,
Each second an age,
Waiting to find out how much,
I'll have to deal with your rage.

Then lunch came,
I was waiting again,
To see your anger break through.

But when you arrived,
You came with a smile,
And just wanted to tell me the truth.

After a few words,
I couldn't believe what I heard,
That you could keep cheerful and happy still.

And I felt compelled,
To begin to tell,
Secrets that made my heart chill.

Then suddenly, I felt your fingers,
Intertwined with mine,
And I realised something, which always lingers,
And will do for all of time.

I was so close to not going to school that day,
And I don't really want to imagine,
What would've happened if I hadn't heard that phone,
And I'd just turned over and let my heart sadden.

Happiness
A word I'd forgotten
Love
A word I'd never known
Laughter
A word I couldn't let out
Until that day.

No one is perfect,
Of that there's no doubt,
But all your imperfections,
Seem to cancel out.
No one will harm you,
That's my promise today,
If you need me, anytime, anywhere,
Don't hesitate, just say.
No one is like you,
You're one of a kind,
And I know it sounds clichéd,
But you're always on my mind.
No one could reach me,
I was trapped in my own head,
Until one day this summer,
You threw my sorrow down dead.

No matter what happens, I'll love you for all of time
Because words I'd forgotten, are now forever mine.

She starts to cry,
I know exactly why,
But there's nothing I can do to help.

Her eyes look down,
To hide her frown?
Or to hide from my reaction she fears?

I can't see past her hair,
But I hear her despair,
As she pours out the depths of her soul.

How to respond,
To such a sad song,
That leaves me with no comforting words?

Tell her it'll all be fine?
She'll know that's a lie,
An easy escape from facing facts.

Nothing I say,
Or price I pay,
Will change the events of the past.

So all I can do,
Is tell her the truth,
And make a commitment of trust.

And try to repay,
Her trust on that day,
With a secret I kept in my heart.

The time she saved,
Quite by mistake,
A weak, blackened and crumbling life.

Finally I feel,
It's time to reveal,
How she rescued me from that box in the cupboard.

It can't help much,
But maybe enough,
That she'll realise what she's worth.

And in holding my hand,
Completely unplanned,
You made me happier than I've ever been.

But three words meant more,
Words I'd never heard before,
Spoken by another to me with honesty.

And I know that they,
Were hard for you to say,
After all that others have put you through.

"I trust you"

Why do I always feel worst on the best days?

The keys call in grey-scale,
The strings tense to play,
Waiting for my fingers to glide across their scales.

Discordant bass lines and rising melodies,
As hands, heart and voice unite,
To outpour my soul,
As it fills the hall,
Tears fall,
In answer to the call.

To release emotion unrelentingly.

Before I learnt to sing with someone else,
I preferred a duet with myself.

But now my song is joined by dance,
And my nervous glance,
Is entranced,
With romance.

And the smile that eases my stirring heart.

Society's light is one of oppression,
It hides in the shadows the manipulation,
Of likes, favourites and ratings,
And of course, the TV stations,
That tell us how to live.

But there will be a time,
When someone opens up their mind,
And notices the signs,
That dictate our every step.

Why not today?

Let's smash up the light bulbs,
And pull out the fittings,
Let's switch them off at the mains.

Let's wreck up the power stations,
And cut all the wires,
So only darkness remains.

It's time to listen to the crying stars,
It's time to listen to the silent cars,
It's time to listen to the city at night.

Because the city at night is shouting:
Louder!
Louder!
And the rain on the pavement's calling:
Stronger!
Stronger!
And tribal rhythms,
Inspire the buildings,
To get up and walk.
And driving heartbeats,
Persuade the dark streets,
To rise up and talk.

"It's time to stand up for what we believe in!
It's time to show the world how we're feeling!
Because the light has blinded them from our point of view!
From our vantage point beneath your feet,
We've observed the city that never sleeps,
And realised it needs to change and let the darkness through!"

And all the onlookers and sympathisers,
Respond with a chant,
That shakes society's foundations to bring it down.

We don't want to fit in!
We don't want to give in!
To peer pressure within
Every waking day!

We all want to regress!
To when we all had less!
When money hadn't quite messed
Up every word we say!

As every light goes out,
Each with a bolder shout,
Those in charge watch in awe as the revolution wins.

The entire city unites,
To bring about the night,
A dusk to match the dawn of humanity's sins.

But in the morning the sunrise,
Brings the reform to its demise.

And light obscures the strings that control our minds.

If my life were a painting,
It would be of the night.
Of rain on pavements,
Reflecting street lights.
And sat on a bench,
shadowed and dark,
Would be a boy in a coat,
Too big and covered in marks.

But life isn't painting,
But a series of stills,
And if you wind the reel forward,
The boy grows, the coat he fills.
And now, another figure joins him,
Pulls him off the bench, to his feet,
And now, they start dancing,
In each other's arms, down the street.

Drenched in rain,
He takes off his coat,
Wraps it around her,
And pulls out a ring and a note.
With a tear of joy, she nods,
With a nervous laugh, he stands,
The sun starts to rise,
As they hold each other's hands.

Then, just a frame or two on,
A small figure runs up to the pair,
And the boy - now a man,
Lifts the child in the air.
Smiling, he holds his wife and child close,
And wipes the rain from their faces,
As the sun is overhead,
And light shines onto their embraces.

And so a new painting forms,
Brighter, now the sun's above,
And the coat around her shoulders,
Reminds her of his love.

The last pair of eyes,
Reflect my heavy heart,
As the last, sorry words,
Crush my grateful smile.

The final one who cares,
Leaves my life again.

I return to join The Coldest.

The end of gentle words,
To calm my panicked mind,
The end of just in time,
To stop me doing the worst.

The only saving grace,
Has nothing left to give.

I return to join The Coldest.

Another one has gone,
Away from my unrest,
Another loss is blamed on me,
Despite my desperate attempts.

With no reason to try,
I pursued and missed my goal.

I return to join The Coldest,
But a new flame has been lit.

A boy leans against his door,
Torn by the grief and loss created by his own mind,
Tear stained cheeks that never knew a smile.

The boy falls to the floor,
The door is blocked by his own weight,
He is trapped by his body in a room cut off from kindness.

The boy hits his head against the wall,
In a futile attempt to escape this life,
His head begins to throb, a confused mess of screaming voices fill his ears.

Then one voice is clear,
Calling him,
Leading him,
He feels safe, sure, free,
He finds himself calling back,
"I trust you." He says, raising his eyes from the floor,
"I trust you," She replies, but that's not what he heard.
"Open the door," Is what he heard, words he'd never even considered.

He lifts himself up, and grabs for the lock,
With a moment of hesitation, he slides the bolt across.
But he can't bring himself to do it, he looks at the handle,
He puts his hand on it and tries to push down.

But his other hand stops him, grabbing at his wrist,
He is so close now, but he can't do it,
He takes two steps back, away from hope,
And the door swings wide open, light streams in,
With a smile she grabs his hand, and pulls him from his cell.

He sees an open door behind her, a room as dark as his,
"How did you get out?" He asks, she just laughs and squeezes his hand.
"One clear voice, calling, leading," She whispers in his ear,
"It told me to open the door."

I did not know
Back then
What you wanted
I watched as you
Had your mind twisted
By the things you saw
On a computer screen
Things you wanted
Me to see too
Me to do to you
But I couldn't
But I let you
Keep watching that screen
And I know
I should have stopped you
But I couldn't
I watched as you
Fell further
Deeper in the darkest
Parts of your mind
I wasn't strong enough
I could've stopped it
But I couldn't
For fear of losing
Another friend
For fear of making
Everything worse
I will always
Blame myself
For the state
You're in now
And the state
You put me in
Because I could've stopped it
But I couldn't
Risk the one constant
That kept me
From going mad
From hating myself
From hurting myself
From killing myself
But I was wrong
You were the constant
That made me
Go mad
Hate myself
Hurt myself
And try to **** myself
And yet
You are still my friend
Because I blame myself
And I have to protect you
Because I'd never
Forgive myself
If you killed yourself
And I didn't try to stop you

You
Killed
My
Childhood
But
I
Forgive
You
And
Blame
Me

Here is a young boy,
His heart has been crushed,
His innocence has already been stolen,
By the gun in his hands.

Here is a teenager,
Death a normality,
Trusting only in hate,
For those he once loved.

Here is a young man,
Believing in revenge,
For a crime he never saw,
Against someone he never knew.

Here is a father,
"Protecting" his daughter,
Showing her the path he chose,
Putting her finger on the trigger.

Here is an old man,
Regretting his life,
Hating himself for all he did,
But all too late.

Now here is a young girl,
Who lives far away,
Who doesn't understand,
But knows she is hated.

People avoid her,
Afraid? Or unsure?
The garment on her head,
Fills her with shame.

This girl never touched a gun.

The boy did not know what he was doing.

His daughter doesn't want to ****.

But it is too late now,
Society has grasped a concept,
And it's claws dig deep,
It won't let go.

She waits, outwardly patient, to greet her home
A gentle bow, with a smile that she has rehearsed, but need not
For when her Mistress returns her smile will not be fake
Nor the lift in her spirits
And when she grants her a moment alone,
She longs to feel her Mistress' touch,
Her warmth
Her breath
But she will not overstep, no, she waits - though it pains her - until permission is given
And all the more precious is the hand she cannot hold
The hand she reaches for
Yearns for
But remains a command away
So she waits
For if she is good,
Her reward will be sweet.