the soul creeper is
you we deny it yet the
the truth ruptures a mind

there is no hope yet
from the destroyer of worlds -
alzheimers

in the barren sapling
a turkey sits -
unruffled presence

i plan to live till
ninety i hear laughter now
see you there my friend

i sparkled a couple trillion
brain cells
one-one thousandth of a second
ago
blue sky and whippoorwill

saw a lost mangy
dog did not try to hate
did not try to touch

the sound of nothing
in our ears and the empty
is all around us

"Hair's of Turtles"


There is no way that i
       am supposed to think
The hair of the turtle
       does not have to be long
There is no way that i
       am supposed to feel
The hair of the turtle
       does not have to be short
There is no way that i
       am supposed to act
The hair of the turtle
       does not have to be red

There is no way that i
       am supposed to think
The hair of the turtle
       does not have to be long
There is no way that i
       am supposed to feel
The hair of the turtle
       does not have to be short
There is no way that i
       am supposed to act
The hair of the turtle
       does not have to be red

the door opens
   the sun shines through
the small child
   walks out to do

her chores of morn
   feed the chickens
and hungry rabbits
   water the dogs

back to enjoy
   warm breakfast

what new something shall set the world ablaze?
blazing voice song love war peace?
a blazing peace? yes that would definitely
be a something new under the sun
to activate a world peace all at once
a touch of something common i suppose
but all at once and everywhere the same
in the mind of most  not all but most
need perceive this "thing" lets call it
as we wish for it to appear here
on this rock and it must include
you and me for sure and how about
okay everyone breathing i suppose
just to be fair if they're made for it
that is like we must have eyeballs
to see dirt even so most will perceive
this "thing" though not all
a skunk smell in the air or a
thunderous banging in the ears or an
occurrence we cannot avoid like
the falling rocks of peace perhaps
or the moving trees of peace
or gold ! yeah a shiny golden peace
for everyone
everyone will work for that
or most everyone will move they're ****
for enough gold
( okay   let's be realistic
if sea shells would do it    fine
but they won't    so gold it is)
so now we have it
the question
it is here
it has arrived

how do we connect peace with gold?

Leprous hands reach for my money
They deserve it           so do i!
What to do?
An eternal question truthfully answered
Only at the moment of inception

Rotten curled nubby flesh
With breath and life
Eyes two
Or perhaps one and dim
Motion on legs or leg and wood
Pain i hope never to know
Presented to me daily face first
Only place to hide
False selfish concepts generated
In fear and helplessness
Helplessness        a vicious agony
Maker of insanity
And compassionate movements
Stand i not where i want to be

Perfection well eludes full reality
Not even close really
Then how to embrace the imperfect what is?

Ugly is in the eye of the beholder

I sit in the emptiness
And like myself.

I need no goals to justify
My existence.
No minimum of capability
Is needed.
No labored accomplishment
Is required.
No special performance
Of wisdom or truth
Extracts the applause
From God.
It is free
To all.

I sit in the emptiness
And like myself.

Hear the lessons ever shouted from the
Children past and future in this mind we
Hold together jointly swaying to the
Rhythm of compassion that is centered in
This shape called human being varied
Hues and thoughts and attributes commingling
And dependent on each other for the
Breath of life that ebbs and swells united

"Heavy Wasting"


                    How truly I despise the heavy, wasting
                    Lethargy that had entombed my soul in
                    Life's stagnant morass, the bleak and bilious
                    Sludge waters of depressive thought. Yet this
                    Common, painful, aspect of life devouring
                    Us, molding us, choking us, is but one
                    Of many stabs and ****** assailing us
                    Maiming us, killing us. The uncountable
                    Steps of all humanity have been amid
                    An indifferent universe, forming
                    And shaping with pleasures and ills. We are
                    Part of the whole, not its center, and the
                    Depths and heights we reach are our own. Unique
                    Individual, unfavoured, free, we
                    Are cast into life a seed, a potential
                    Of being, a glimmer in the eye of
                    What passes for god. We inspire the
                    Eternal infinite variety
                    Moment by moment, unending, and we
                    Become enmeshed in what we have perceived
                    How we have perceived it. Flowing, growing
                    We are grains of sand, beautiful, lovely,
                    Temporary, grains of sand on a billion
                    Worlds. Or, we may be tortured souls, wandering
                    Among countless vile beings defiling
                    Us at every turn. Often, much, much, much
                    More often than we know, the choice is ours.

I do not like the likes
Though i do like the likes
I really like the reads
It is my need

Why were the men of old wrong?
were they ignorant
No! what did they do that was different?
Nothing. Customs ah yes Customs.
What was is not, here is now, okay
i live here, if i lived there
Nothing would stop me from protecting
My woman. Nothing would stop me
Now. Nothing. I live here and there
i like it.

"Here I Am"

                             Here I live
                    humbled by disease
                    forced to accept a weakness
                    dependent on the kindness of others
                    for life
                    here I am, a man.

                             Here I live
                    taking pills, doctor's pills that
                    alter states of consciousness
                    today's science stopping the pain
                    and most assuredly cheating death
                    here I am, a man.

                             Here I live
                    in the ***** of the state
                    learning lessons of love and life
                    supplied with warmth and care
                    eating the bread of taxes
                    here I am, a man.

"Here Now and Simple"


Master, participant, observer, slave
I do not know which one is and when
It manifests as awareness in six
Realms of consciousness all together me
There is this that is the inexpressible
Deep covered with self and self-created
That does roil and boil and cause a blight
Of suffering within the form which is the emptiness
Here now and simple as the emptiness is form
Here now and simple yet so very hard to live

"Hesitancy"


hesitantly breeds hesitancy
deep inside right brain limbic
fog of sense shade of dark
drift of feel heavies and weighs
now and again this view awake
i perceive i am not am

night rain aggregate
world entire drizzle mist
light wind autumn leaves
beauty mind is mind beheld
soft brush feather touch
itself to itself merge is i am

"Hesitation"

God's will echoes through my mind
        And slowly is neglected,
A hollow timber to my soul
        Betrays His way rejected.

The path to walk is not so hard
        It's not a difficult task,
Yet fear's allowed restraining
        Keeps me stalled at this impasse.

a dead red dog   road
flowing tears from cold young face
rain on a slick path

free within the cage
consistent reality
freedom is no cage

"Hit The Fan"



The honey has hit the fan
Widely to splatter perhaps
Perhaps not
Whatever

The t.v. barks i freeze not moving
          even a brain cell
          evolved from the golden sun i want
          to kiss
          the holy place i've never been
          is ittsy bittsy
          at thoughts end

Ther is a mountain crunching sound
          i do not hear
          a purple crystal lack of vibration
          smashing
          the holy place i've never been
          to soul
          at stars end

Honey Girl

chained my heart to yours girl
kissed my *** goodbye
knew you was the heartbreaker
love you till i die

sooner before later
i know what's coming soon
love you till i die girl
in ***** tonk saloon

in my dreams been dreaming
of your love for me
lordy lordy honey girl
please give up to me

words were spoken often
none i thought was true
lordy lordy honey girl
***** tonk saloon

How do we stand upon the world
And shape each facet to our liking.

Knowledge is pain to some, who's
Soft emotions overly chafe and bleed.

While others, calloused in life's toil
Know and do with a hearty will.

Each sees with a singular eye
And deems their limited view, whole.

How hopefully we live the lie
The truth        a culprit        to deny
How elegant the logic's curve
We fashion existence        heart and nerve
Alpha cause of that we seek
Without self knowledge        savant trick

How to find self-esteem
First
Change the hair of a turtle
From black
To red

"Hum"



hum of noise at midnight
everyone

"And the World is Human"

Children laugh in their innocent play
A young man loves his wife today
A twice worn dress is thrown away
        And the world is human.

An unknowing child is lost then found
A bleeding man attracts a crowd
The carousing deaf like their music loud
        And the world is human.

A ****** man has a love for life
A pious man berates his wife
A robust man knows pain and strife
        And the world is human.

In all the lands there's old and new
And time flows on for me and you
There are many wonders left it's true
        And the world is human.

Human brains
       out of control
Wonderful
       survival mechanism
Not very smart
       though
Nor compassionate

Hurting others causes juice
Hurting self causes juice
Hurting deeply causes juice
Ever pushing downward mind

"I Bow"


i bow into the mirror
distorted with delusions

i see you
rising and falling

a dream unlovable

I did try
Until i went insane
With hatred

I do not do it for my i do it
For my karma form body thought realm
Life function birth world universe
Holo experience light manifold waves percept

i eat the food of the soft and hard work
   no time is left for a god to appear
cross the river and find a path that works
   a life of effort all live with the true

of not excisting in the mind of self
   and what we call god is a bandaid that
is better than nothing as we bleed life
   out of love upon a table raza

which is true yet maleable so now
   we walk and talk the walking head maybe
not a word is true that's not thought softly in
   a moment of yells and we follow

as to the inner true unheard that
can be peaceful if we try i do not know what

I don't know
  
i eat the food of the soft and hard work
no time is left for a god to appear
cross the river and find a path that's worth
a life of effort all live with the fear

of not existing in the mind of self
and what we call god is a band aid that
is better than nothing as we bleed out
our life upon a tabula raza

which is true yet malleable so now
we walk and talk the walking dead maybe
not a word is true that's thought softly in
a moment of real yell's and we follow

as slaves to the inner tune unheard that
can be peaceful if we try i don't know

I do not see the borders
I see the world
There is no truth of order
but magnificent of swirl

All cultures are all in all
Denying truth is small
Who lives, who dies
Universe decides

If i suffer
i do not
suffer

Back, back to long ago
         my mind does wander.
Back to meaningless words
         Heard in thoughtless wonder.

Nature stamps survival deep
         deep into our form,
With vital drives that move us
         when each and all are born.

Cellular force controls, directs
         and functions flesh.
One purpose, one goal only
         stirs to action, avoid death.

Our first and greatest instinct
         clearly is made known
When every newborn infant screams,
         "Stay with me, I will die
                 if left alone!"

"I Have No Desire"


I have no desire to touch your life
          to my heart
I have no desire to grasp at that
          formed image
Which fulfills the laws of god
          beautifully

I walk upon waves of universe
          slowly meandering
Going nowhere seeing the wonders of
          all time
Rising and falling becoming and dying
          nothing happens

Words are empty circles sometimes
          just dropping
Giving to no one like a sleeping
          Santa Clause
Movement is perception is space time
          is consciousness

I have no desire to touch your life
          to my heart
You move your way i'll move mine
          together alone
The wind and the harp string singing
          rapturously

"i i am"

i wander wonder thrive and plunder
steal **** expel in thunder
the i i am    is manifest   god

i wander wonder thrive and plunder
steal **** expel in thunder
the i i am am manifest god

the fly carcass stuck
on wall ten years monument
to a life well lived

"I Live"



I live within the world
Of my perceptions only
My limited reception
Of what is
Is the all in all
For me
Not you

In anger, I will
make you bleed. I will
deny your soul, and stab at
your heart with words. I will
feel electricity in my hair,
and power pressure shall
shake my limbs. I will
burst open upon you,
and you shall die.



         In love, I will
soothe your pain. I will
acknowledge your soul, and nurture
your heart with words. I shall
feel uplifted in body and mind,
and freedom of choice shall
move my limbs. I will
share God's bounty with you,
and we shall live.

Individual i's cooperate
And become we, society
For better for worse
For richer for poorer
Till death do us part
Singular egos, isolated, hostile
Slowly warp and bend
To painful existence
The group heals, soothes
And protects
And is imperfect
Controlling, confining, numbing
Revolution / evolution / change
Is functional

"I need"


I need a cup of coffee
just to justify my nerves
adrenal bathed traitors
part of me here now i
shake inside twitch
rattle and roll

To see my soul in every face of pain
Or hope, or joy's soft gleam. To see my soul
Among the rocks mid-earth molten heat glow,
The fare skins leprous agony, a grain
Of wood smoke lung touched. In grunting *** roils.