A constant ache inside my chest
Weeping eyes that just won't rest
Eternal sadness is a constant fear
A lonely life if you're not here

A broken heart time cannot mend
A life without you is one I cannot comprehend
So hard to fathom that you're gone
A stabbing pain i can't move on
Losing you is the hardest thing I've ever had to do
My heart is permanently black and blue

I'll fake a smile when I can
But all I really want to do is see you again..

It's been two months since you've been gone
And I still ask myself why
I can't mend this heartache
Since the day you died

Losing Focus.
It happens all the time
Knees deep in a conversation and i forget everything mentioned.
Stress suffocates.
Trying to impress and be confident is always shot down.
I try to be good.
Peer pressure and temptation sedate my morals.
Things I promise I won't do to myself are thrown out carelessly in a weak moment.
At times I can't stand myself.
I should know better but I still give in.
The emptiness that shadows me everyday is starting to feel welcoming.
Maybe it's easier than feeling pain of betrayal or guilt.
Maybe it's better than feeling second best.
I try to have faith, but I've lost my focus.
Slipping away..

I've lost myself.

A good night sleep is an acquired skill.
Something unknown to the heartbroken, depressed, and confused.
To them sleep is purely a relief; an unseemingly blissful goal that is worked towards

That is once the sadness has settled in for the night and your eyes have grown too tired to cry anymore and finally have dried up

Sleep is Something you fall into on accident from pure exhaustion,
It's not on purpose

These souls are the ones up at night writing
Trying to make sense of the words and the hurt inside of their hearts that seems to leak onto paper before what is written before them can be understood

They are the ones who have a sparkle in their eye and a constant ache in their heart
They are not obvious, oh no
Because someone who really feels sadness knows it's something to be suffered through alone
You wouldn't dare drag someone along for the misery and deceit, the emptiness and aches
Because it's what you are trying to escape


And once you do, if it is at all possible to find happiness and fulfillment in your sorrows

You will lay in bed at night
And your pillow cases will be preserved an eggshell white
And the mascara stains will have vanished
And your mind won't race and clutter and cry out in pain from unknown certainty and tragedy

You'll merely close your eyes, and for once you will sleep.

Is there somewhere..anywhere, far enough from here
that I will be able to escape you

from the dustiest corners of my soul?