In the absence of the sun
I can see the darkness in the human heart,
the silhouetted evil that lies within the soul

Within the confines of the misty gloom,
roam the fettered wraiths
of secret passion

Lustful, wanton desire, the id essential,
haunts the ethereal domain,
cloaked in shimmering gossamer veils

Half realized creatures of the dark
stalk with soundless echoes
the dim corridors of the soul

Unbound, unchained,
the foul, corrupt spirits of dark secret thoughts
wander freely

In the absence of the sun
I am afraid to close my eyes

You should sulk away in shame. You are a bottom feeder pretending to be predacious. Life has shown  that in the order of life you will rapaciously lick the lips of the alpha every time . You mistake your pretension for power, and you and only you make that mistake. Don’t think that any other believes that you are anything more than the absolute bottom of the order. You can cry to all who will listen about your greatness and only the most ignorant will believe; For a while.    Your attempts to empower yourself by belittling others is a pathetic attempt to cover your own inadequacies. Maybe you haven’t realized yet that they can’t be covered, that everyone really can see you for whom you are.    I am amazed that something would mate with you. I can’t believe that one of your slightly more pretentious peers has not taken her from you yet. You are a disgusting example of a human being. You are petty, jealous and cowardly. You are the very definition of anthropomorphism.; You have been attributed with human traits without actually having them. You are lower than an animal and are pathetic.

Do you know who you are?
You are my heart and my soul
My light and my laughter
The warmth that sparks the consuming flames of my passion
You are the sweet taste of love left moist upon my desirous lips
The fire that burns within my soul that wants to grasp and conquer
You are the want
The need to have all things
You are my reason
My being
My dream and hope
The obsession that gropes from the depths of my soul
But most of all
You are the gentle smile on my lips
That gives me peace and hope and rest

Some people wear their hearts on their shirt sleeve
I wear coffee on mine
Fallen from un-cautious lips
Like careless words
Hot and steaming
Spilled down the front of my chest
But the same
A temporary stain
That proper washing will remove

Eyes emerald green and turquoise blue

Cotton soft, snowy hue

Velvet, velvet, cotton clouds

Steel and razors, shredded shrouds

Warm and gentle, purring, soft

Running, bolting, taking off

Hiss and scream, grow with fright

Teeth of ivory, day is night

Hunt and blood, running in willows

Sleep and purr in blankets and pillows

Whirling, twirling, spitting, springing

Evelyn / Evil always being

The good /bad cat that you are

My words became
Roses
And made bouquets
To brighten her room
Beautiful red roses
Without any wilted petals
Of sorrow or fear
I left them laying
Strewn carelessly
About her bed
And left the crying
For the cold hallways

I require no company
save those that gather
'round the warmth
of my fire.
Late at night
hushed talk floats
in the chill air
like wisping tendrils
of smoke.
Faint firelight gropes
at the surrounding darkness
after imparting
it's warmth.
Hours burn as embers
and laughter flickers
like flames.

She had become a pale wraith
Just a ghost of the girl gone
Blondness and whiteness faded into one
Dead already
But not yet really
Still breathing
But with no heart beating
Nothing warm or filled with love
Just the pinch of the needle
Stinging in her arm
Her only smile
For that pleasure
But that too would soon be gone
And she would be cold and still
And she would wait in her bed
Frozen like a statue
Waiting for someone to find her
And consign her to the ground

My body has become purpose

My mind numbed

Waiting is now a memory

Fear has forgotten to land on me

And grasp my flesh with it's piercing talons

I move through liquid

Everything slowed but my body

In one moment I will go through that door

10 seconds from death

I feel a sense of exhilaration

Leave alone what lies beneath the mountain

The labyrinthined caves and deep burning fire

Take instead the cold stinging creeks

The summer pines and pale blue sky

Take the rocky trails and sharp stone

And all the beauty for your eye

But don't stray below and leave alone

What lies beneath the mountain

Slowly circling chains

forged with deceit,

hammered out with contempt

are fitted for us.

Freedom bleeds upon

the ground of history

The lifeblood of our nation

darkly pools

As we lay dying

Our choice will be

the chain or the sword

Let my blood bleed

Let me fall

As I will die free

There is nothing sadder in this world
Than to see a mother sobbing into a baby blanket
It doesn't matter how old he was
Or what he had become
It can never change a mother's love
She breaks my heart
Watching her cry
Sobbing, knowing that he is cold

I breathe rage
The fire from my heart
Overflowing
Waiting

Wonder if
I would hear
The hammer
Hit the primer

The serpent has mingled with my blood

As she devours me,

I become her lover

Half lidded eyes

closed with numbness

My body tingles

from her touch

She has me paralyzed

She has left me speechless

Her poison

runs through my veins

I can feel her all over my body

She has become I

And I she

I can feel myself

becoming dead

yet alive

Becoming, Soil, water and sky

All things and none

My soon to be widow

lays across my bed

And Weeping Mary, weeps

As I leave her

for another lover

I am afraid to close my eyes

The festive table
Stands alone
Robed in it's finest
Holiday garments
But there is no warm glow
Of flickering light
And laughter
No spiced scents
Drifting through
Like candied wraiths
It stands alone and empty
The cold harsh light of day
Casting it's shadow on the floor

You should sulk away in shame. You are a bottom feeder pretending to
be predacious. Life has shown you that in the order of life, you will
rapaciously lick the lips of the alpha every time . You mistake your
pretension for power, and you and only you make that mistake. Don’t
think that any other believes that you are anything more than the
absolute bottom of the order. You can cry to all who will listen about
your greatness and only the most ignorant will believe; For a while.
Your attempts to empower yourself by belittling others is a pathetic
attempt to cover your own inadequacies. Maybe you haven’t realized yet that they can’t be covered, that everyone really can see you for whom you are. I am amazed that something would actually mate with you. I can’t believe that one of your slightly more pretentious peers has not taken her from you yet. You are a disgusting example of a human being. You are petty, jealous and cowardly. You are the very definition of anthropomorphism.; You have been attributed with human traits without actually having them. You are lower than an animal and are pathetic.

I always wondered where her love went
It was like it was bled from her
A slit vein that ran dry
I was the only one that she gave it to
And I was young and greedy
And I think that I took it all
Used it up
A hungry pup nursing at the ****
And there was none left over for anyone else
She became withered and dry
And by the time her own children came
That love had been replaced by hate
Maybe it had just been killed
And that hate was like the darkness
That is already in a room
Just waiting for the light to be turned off
And then it takes over everything
It didn't help
That it had been infused with ****** along the way
Shot sweating late at night in a seedy room
Or in the parking lot behind the *******
But something had turned that love to hate
Solidified it in her veins
Until she was nothing
No voice
No heartbeat
Nothing
She became a statue
Just hard stone
And the sad part is that she had four babies
Who tried to nurse from her cold stone ***
And tried to get some of the love that I had
But it was long used up and gone
And they had to try and survive and live
With nothing to feed on but that cold hate
And they all survived for the most part
Except for Amber
Poor Amber
In the end, I think the hate finally got her

Love of my soul

I see you now only in my dreams

Yet my heart holds you dear

My love for you whispers upon the midnight wind

My tears are moonbeams raining on you

Soft starlight in the night sky is my gaze

Wherever you tread upon this earth

I am with you

Papa

Breathe freedom
Even if it be
Your last breath
Fill your lungs
With the taste
Of free air
And bloodied grass
Breathe the gasps
Unchained
Unbowed
Meet the fate of all
Free on the ground

I thought of her one day

Walking in the woods

Between the sun and shade

My wild child

My little Celtic beauty

Beautiful and strong

Her blonde hair

Flying in the wind

With a smile on her face

And mine

We had raced through

The narrow streets

On roaring steel

Wanton daredevils

Without fear or care

I smiled as the wind

Ruffled through my hair

Gently whispering memories

And wondered

Where

My wild child

Had gone

My love is not lost on her
in twilight's fading light
As darkness slowly blankets
her softly ebbing life
She cries to me quietly
lying in my bed
My body is her pillow
for one final night
I cradle her as a child
and gently call her name
As dawn comes
and darkness
fades to light
night slowly falls...
upon my friend

Goodnight my friend

It's hard to believe
in fate
Until it happens
Blood on blood
Running on your skin
Dark tattoos of pain
On your soul
On your floor
You bleed
until you can bleed
no more
You bleed until
You are empty

I  remember

When we still danced like we were young

Under the silvered moon 'round the crackling fire

Spilling wine and laughter

Late into the night

Our own private party

Until the dawn of the day

When we still danced

Like we were young

Not many marriages survive the death of a child
And now you and I
All old love aside
Are buried on that mound
Just as dead as he is
Just as cold and hard
We could not survive
And all we are now
Instead of you and I
Is just another statistic

Life lived at any cost is just not for me.  I just can’t accept the concept of “bow down and you will be spared”.   There are greater things in life than just breathing air. Things like liberty and honor , the great ideas of men, are more important than the empty life of a drone worker. There are people who will give up anything, or anyone just to continue living a miserable existence.   Who the hell accepts the life of a slave? Certainly not me. Give me death as I fight you, you tyrant ****.   The innate rights that are granted by your creator? Those are nothing if you are not willing to fight for them. I wasn’t given the right to be free… I was given the right to fight to be free. That was what was breathed into me along with my breath and life; The fire of freedom.  I wasn’t born with a bill of rights in my hand; I was born with a hand that could write them. I was born with a hand that could make a weapon and use it if my freedom is oppressed. I was born with a fire that will not accept subjugation. I was born with a fire that will make me fight to remain free. That fire of freedom will only leave me when the last breath is pressed from my chest.    There may be a lot of tough choices coming up for people here shortly, but not for me. That choice for me was made many years ago, that choice was birthed into this world right along side of me.  “Victoria Aut Mors”

Gone from this body
And flown
To fairer places
With no pain or travail
Gone but for the memory
And love left behind
Gone but for legacy and legend
Gone but for us
The three percent
Left behind

Under the cold moonlight
I lost the love of God
'Though I prayed
I lost more than faith
While she cried
Looking through a telescope
Into that black sky
Hoping that the moon
So magnified
Would bring her
Closer to God
But her small prayers
Went unanswered
And her telescope
Lies in my closet
No closer to God
Than she ever was
And I can never look upon it
Open those doors
Without wanting to cry

Why was I given this one season only?
Why tempestuous spring with its hard storms blowing, angry and unstable skies tearing down and touching the earth itself, throwing fields of earthen debris into clay colored skies, melding the two into one.

Could I not have summer with its long lazy days and deep blue skies, with rocking chairs creaking on wide wooden porches and  lush green meadows among the white skinned birch trees, so close to a rocky creek that you can hear its tenor and ****** as it rushes downstream to gladly fill it’s moss covered banks

Or maybe the red and yellow of fall, with the crisp cutting air biting pleasantly in your lungs as you bellow out in the red rising sun, like a locomotive cutting through the wide open prairie, slicing the  amber openness like a knife , puffing steam and smoke like a dragon as your track vivisections the countryside

Could I not be given the white and cold winter, with its black skies, punctured by burning blue stars, as the fireplace roars out warmth in snapping and crackling dances of orange, surrounded by stone and wood, the still whiteness, muffled by snow and night outside the windows, that stare with red glow into the carpeted forest, hung heavy and damp with snow

Why spring and only spring, with pregnant clouds heavy laden with dark blue storms, hanging from their belly and the threat of tempest, just waiting to lay down their tearing winds and pouring rains

Why spring with its fickle beauty and warmth that can turn so quickly into a deluge that floods the earth and wipes away the burgeoning beauty that it has just created, roiling across rippled soil, dancing like silvered fish in glaring bursts of blue lightning

Why spring, that after all it’s hard blowing and storms it just fades away into nothing?

My words became
Roses
And made bouquets
To brighten her room
Beautiful red roses
Without any wilted petals
Of sorrow or fear
I left them laying
Strewn carelessly
About her bed
And left the crying
For the cold hallways

He is gone now
Returned to dust
All that is left of him
Are his mother's tears
Tears that she cries in torrents of pain
Late at night when all others sleep and dream
She rocks in the old rocking chair
Weeping and sobbing
There is no comfort for her
Knowing that he is gone
His place on this earth vanished
The life that she gave no longer existing
All that is left of him now
Are his mothers tears

She moves through the darkness

Alive yet dead

In sheeted glory she breathes without life

Bleeding without battle, she fights

I wait and wait

I hope

It is a battle I cannot fight

My skills cannot persevere

Though sword and knife

Are easy to my hand

I wait

I trust the skill of another

Who's knife gives life

I hope that she can fight

She is all that I have

I wait

I should have stayed in the shallow end of the pool
Getting nothing wet but my feet and legs
Risking nothing more than a chill
But I'm drowning
Choking on all of the right choices I've made
I'm drowning on all my loyalty and love
My lungs are filling and I die
I die
The air that I try to breathe
It's not air
And my lungs fill while I panic
Clamping,biting and heaving
And I'm in the deep end of the pool
Drowning
Feet trying to find the bottom
Drowning on people dying and hurting
Drowning in all the pain that they are not willing to face
And I'm under the water with no way out
And I don't know what's worse
To die and stifle and suffocate
Or to wade in the shallow end of the pool
And not care and just watch
While everyone else
Slowly goes under

I do everything to see her happy
Because her smile
Lights a glow in my heart
It shines on me like
The warm spring sun
Making me feel better
To my bones
I do everything to wipe the tears
From her inner child
Those tears that
Never should have been
Kiss her cheek
And make it better
Be the man
She should have had
Love and protect her
Care for her
Let her laugh
Make her smile
Because her smile
Shines like the sun

So you say
While my sweat and blood
Feed the hungry ground
My broken bones
Toil behind the plow
So you say
While you lay
And feed your hunger
And cry about
Your pain
So you say
While I feed you
Yet another day
And watch you drive away
In the car
That I own

Whilst strolling through the woods one day to while away the time
I came across a creature, orange furred and fine
He had pointed ears and bright green eyes
And a tail that kept in time

He sat on the path quite relaxed and squarely in my way
He did not move, he did not budge, he would not let me pass
"Good day to you and how do you do?" Said I in my merry way
"But please move aside, as you've broken my stride
and let me continue with my day"

"Hello"  Said he, as he sat on the path, in a soft and purring way
"Let me introduce myself, my name is Chumley and I am your cat
I'm pleased to meet you, pleased to see you, so glad to be your cat"

"It's a fine thing you've done and a fine man you are
to walk your cat through the forest
A cat could ask for no finer master, could find no better man.
So, let's finish our stroll on this beautiful day and continue on our way"

"Hold on!" Said I, quite taken aback " For surely you are mistaken.
I have no creatures great or small and most certainly not a cat. You are wrong good sir, a mistake I,m sure, for I know that we've never met."

"Oh master!" Said he, with a sorrowful cry "What is it that I've done? Whatever would make you treat me so, the pet who has been like a son?"

"Step aside!" Said I, becoming irate "The day is fading, the hour is late.
You are not my pet, I know for sure, your mind is muddled, go find a cure! Now move from my way and allow me to pass. I've had enough of you blocking my path!"

A tear seemed to form in his green hued eyes
and next when he spoke he asked me why; why after all these years
would I forget a pet of mine

I'd had enough and told him so "Move from my way and let me go!
I've things to do and things to see, begone from my path and let me be!
You've wasted enough of my walking time, now out of my way, you are not mine!"

The cat finally spoke in a wavering voice " I will leave you alone you give me no choice.
But I will always remember our time together, long nights in bed and walks the wood.
I will always remember the love and the good

Later that night, I'd dined and I'd supped, I'd closed the curtains
and turned up the light
I thought of that cat I'd met earlier that day
The thought of him would not go away

I sat at my table, full from my meal, of bread and cheese and wine and veal
I wondered if he hungered, whether he had any meat.
So just to be sure I put a bowl at my feet......
For my cat Chumley


Copyright 1989 James Timothy Jarrett

Her kiss

Spoken softly

Onto my lips

Recites me poems of love

Wild with passion

Told to my tongue

And I listen

And listen

Days gone bye
That I can never
Exchange
Still haunt me,
Stalk me
In the still
Dark forest
Of my sleep
Weaving ‘Tween
The trees of memory
Like late
Morn’  fog
Leaving
Trails in the darkness
Of my long
Forgotten pain
I stay lost
Blissfully
In the dark
Damp of night

Some days it *****

To be a poet

To have words

Softly banging

In your head

Clouding your sight

With visions

Of things pictured

Or perceived deep

Within your brain

Incomprehensible

And duplicitous

Swirling and straining

To chain

Into verse or prose

The Goddesses of words

Unasked and uninvited

Laboring in your mind

Squatted down and

Birthing broken strings

Of words

That linked correctly can

Make them demi- gods

Half God

And

Half lyric

Spelling out the Iliad

Perhaps…

But you are left

Walking through the day

In a daze

Quietly tasting words

As they flood

Into your mouth

And onto your lips

From the jumbled maze

Inside your brain

Friend of my youth with many glories shared

Confidant of my soul and comfort in my arms

My ear hears the saddest thing of all

Where once beat that true heart

Where my head lay to sleep and peace

I hear hollow, thundering silence

Maybe I have nothing to say today
But you won't accept that
You secretly slip words into my brain
Like a tongue sliding between closed lips
Suddenly and unexpected
A moment of shock and surprise
Yes, I went to peck you on the cheek
And you slipped me the tongue
Maybe I don't want your words kissing me
Your passion pouring in my mouth
Hot and torrid
Sliding soft and wet on my lips
Maybe today I want to be left alone
But you won't accept that
You are always nagging me

Outrage turned to anger
Overflowed and out the door
Let it start here
Let it start now
Let it come to war
Lay down their bodies
And burn fires in the night
Fan the flames of fury
With smoke and wind and might
Savage thirst in righteous quest
Will not rest until it's quenched
Let it start here
Let it start now
Let it come to war

She doesn’t care

If I think about her

But I do

As the sky runs from

Blue to red

And the sunset bleeds out its final hues

Power lines and traffic

Distracting with electric hum

The bustle and blur of modern life

That interjects and controls

But I do

And will

In between the weaving lines of traffic

Crossing dotted lines

That mar my sunset

And sometimes dull my mind

I always will

I can’t help it

She’s my Texas girl

Hollow, haunted, hurting eyes staring at
the ceiling.
Cold, hard, white tile floor a pillow
for my head.
Last gasping, grasping tendrils of reason
slipping from my brain.
Oh the bite of bitter steel; sweet and
welcome pain.
An outstretched palm, ungrasping fingers,
nerve and tendon showing.
A smile of peace, a sob of despair;
blood is thickly flowing.
I close my eyes and now I see that this
is childhoods end; Wasted lives, broken
people and shattered dreams that never mend.

My hand still reaches
with loves intent

To be greeted only
with fleeting warmth

How you elude me
and my love

Like a doe in the woods

Always there,but never close

My muse has tripped
And fallen
Down the stairs
A fracture perhaps
Keeps her silent
But I know she will
Return soon
To lament and moan
For she too
Is Irish in her soul

You would feel so much better

If I unleashed my anger on you

Your self pity

Could be buried

By the torrent of my rage

It would be twisted

Into being about you

As you drowned beneath

The roiling current

You could go cold

Beneath the waves

And let the river pass over you

Watching the fading sky

“Til you slowly slipped away

But I won’t

I will make you feel

What you have done

I’ll stay the high ground

And not burst the dam

Let the river run gentle

Let the water run calm

Let you remember

The shame

Of your betrayal

" We have now been driven to madness, poked like rabid animals in a cage . You are unleashing a beast that loves the blood of it’s enemies. We are an enemy that will play sport with your skulls, that will fashion your  flesh for our war drums. We will pound our fearsome sound out with your bones. Can you hear the sound? It is getting closer and closer”

I once cared for you

And loved

And gave

As love gives

All that I had

And you gave in return

Your cold smile

And empty words

That promised nothing

But love

And now you have become

Nothing

But a bitter memory

The taste of her skin

will not leave my mouth

Her musky scent

will not

let me rest

I cannot function

without

having her

Her *******

become

wet Goddesses

between my lips

I pray to her

******* softly

and give myself

to her

I sacrifice

at her altar

Asking for

her pleasure