I am a hero beyond imagine,
Soft velvet red cloak, the medallion resting in my throat,
My heartbeat stomps through my ribcage,
I am here to rescue the princess.

I trudge through the forest and I remember,
I remember who I was before when I came here,
Cape swishing at my ankles, feet in gilded armor,
I grip the glittering blade between my hands.

White marble penetrates the darkness,
I march up to the mossy stone wall, the crooked, tarnished sign,
“No trespassing,” it says, and suddenly
I am standing at a fence, copper, russet, faded gold.
Barbed wire tangles like Christmas lights, family dinners,
I remember and my heart aches.

I see the shrine, the elegant masterpiece
of quartz and precious stones,
I remember the way she used to stand at the bottom,
Defiant and angry, she threw rocks and never shattered,
It’s only a pile of pebbles, grass, dirt, in my eyes
But to her, it was the world and more.

I have to remember I am not her anymore,
What was her world is no longer mine.
I see a possibility, an opportunity, a path,
I take one last glance and I know it is the only way.

I am Prince Charming like no other,
I slice my way through the bushes,
I am arrogant, I am of diamonds and steel.

The green crisscrosses like a net,
I realize someone must have put up a new fence,
I see paint cans, old bottles, moldy shoes.

I see the life that once was my existence,
And I turn around and climb over that wall.
Softly touching down on the carpet of twigs and needles.

The trees wave in the dizzy sky,
The dragon’s snarling mouth is the last image I see,
Burned into my brain with a fiery blast,
Suddenly I am thrown backward.

I stand in front of the tree,
There is something tied in its branches.
I lift my sword and bring it down,
It is just a slender branch.

I place a boulder the size of my heart, my fist,
I flee because I am a coward
I may be a prince but I live only with jewels,
Not the stench of blood and panic amidst battle.

I am here to rescue the princess,
But I can’t even rescue myself
From the past that seduces me.
Am I a hero beyond imagine?

You would think that a broken heart could be mended,
All broken things can.
Or, you would think that it would break further,
Like a shattered mirror.

My heart didn't do either,
it turned hard,
and heavy,
and now my heart is a stone.

When I try to feel, my heart is unyielding,
It was once human but now isn't.
Not mended, but not broken, just
Dead.

Dead, like the way I feel
every night,
my heart filled with dread.

Dead, like when,
sometimes,
when I'm all alone,
I will peek inside,
allow it to soften a moment.

And then, once the pain and years of being unwanted,
a troublemaker,
a pest,
an outcast,
come flooding back to me,
wave after wave of sorrow floods me,
and I have no choice but to
push the feelings deep inside
where no one will find them.

I can't bear the pain,
sorrow,
loss,
that fills my heart
and makes it hard,
a sharp, heavy stone.