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Jan 2022 · 145
being loved and loving
eve Jan 2022
yesterday i didnt think of you

until i did again.
until i realized that i never stopped.

i miss the way you loved me
the way we looked at each other
the reassurance
the closure
i miss the time where it was enough for you

we reached our end
you left a big scar in my heart
and it still hurts
but being loved and loving is too big of a difference for me
Sep 2021 · 1.0k
the sun and the moon
eve Sep 2021
is the sun lonely?
jealous of the moon?
the moon has all the stars
everywhere there are hundreds of stars around it

the sun has only the sky
however it wants more
the sun chases the moon
and it's never fast enough
the moon moves away

then there are the clouds
even if they move
they always come back
but still sometimes,
the clouds aren't what the sun craves for

and maybe that's us
I'm the moon you're the sun
I'm the sun you're the moon
we're too different
to exist side by side
Aug 2021 · 157
four letter word
eve Aug 2021
𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦
how could a random four letter word
have such a deep meaning
everyone knows that it's a strong word
but nobody does something about it
because words are supposed to mean

then you introduced me to something
it was the complete opposite
and now I know you didn't mean it
while I always thought words are supposed to
it was another random four letter word for you
𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦
Aug 2021 · 137
being a writer
eve Aug 2021
being a writer
is it a blessing or a curse?
I think it's both of them
at the same time

we feel things so deeply
just to write about it
to hope that someone is there
to listen
and to understand
Aug 2021 · 118
tired soul
eve Aug 2021
one day she realized
that she couldn't use sleep as an escape anymore

because it wasn't her body
that was tired all the time
it was her soul.

and she asks herself
would she still be tired
if she would close her eyes and never open them again?
Aug 2021 · 370
my best friend anna
eve Aug 2021
anna and I have been friends for one year
and she has 2 different personalities:
quiet in public - loud in only my presence
whispering in public - screaming in only my presence
hiding in public - exposing in only my presence

we fight a lot, but she always understands me
I mean she was my best friend
she should help me, shouldn't she?
she didn't
she slowly killed me
and I couldn't let her go

it was me that gave her the nickname anna
I never cared about her real name
but my doctor told me that he knows it
and that I should stop talking to her
her real name is anorexia nervosa
unfortunately, my anna looked a lot like her
Jul 2021 · 496
the weather and us
eve Jul 2021
our love reminds me of the weather

sometimes the sun is shining
and we can't get enough of it
we're laughing, we're smiling;
we're happier than ever.
i forget the time and think about our progress
because in these moments I'm truly appreciative

but then, it rains
it pours so awfully loud
as if it's the only thing I hear from you
the clouds are dark and hopeless
filled with tears and grief
and the bad weather purposely stays for a while

suddenly the sun comes out
and who would have thought:
we think there's hope for us
- all over again.
why can't it always be sunny?
Jul 2021 · 118
Untitled
eve Jul 2021
and then I realized
I never knew if it was scarier to be with or without you
Jul 2021 · 328
illusions
eve Jul 2021
I know more than you think I do
actually, I know everything

i see your insecurities and your nervousness while no one else does
you can't talk about those enemies
because all we're going to hear again
is denial denial denial

other opinions make you sick
and you can't keep up with the society,
in a big crowd of personalities
you can't admit that your identity vanishes
when you have to express yourself
do you know why?
because you've never given yourself some time

at the end i'll give you the illusion I know nothing
and you'll give me the illusion of knowing who you are
we're nothing more than illusions
do you know who you are?
Jul 2021 · 276
you forgot me
eve Jul 2021
everywhere i go i'm reminded of you
the park
the streets
the city

and yes you were right,
your name still makes my heart drop
and you're still the only one in my thoughts

I wish I knew how to free myself
I wish I knew how to let go
because unlike you,  I'm trapped;
our memories are haunting me
and I can't stop replaying them
how were you able to forget me so fast?
Jun 2021 · 99
regret
eve Jun 2021
we never said it out loud but we both knew
Jun 2021 · 1.0k
nostalgia
eve Jun 2021
my friend nostalgia is a liar
their lies keep me up at night
and I think about the memories;
nostalgia says they were better than they seemed
so I'm longing for the past again
but that's the problem
it's nothing more but lies

here's another big problem I have with nostalgia
they never remember me about the imperfections;
the not so pretty parts about you and me
when I wish they would;
because maybe then
I wouldn't long for the past in the way I do now

oh, nostalgia, darling
i don't want to be your friend anymore
but i'll write this last love letter about you
Jun 2021 · 1.7k
mirror mirror on the wall
eve Jun 2021
as she looks in the mirror
she can't recognize herself anymore
her reflection
is slowly changing into someone new
someone she doesn't want to be

they say "I wish I had your body"
but all she ever saw were calories
and she stopped eating

they ask "why are you always sad?"
but they don't believe in
trauma and depression
and she keeps breaking

they say "you can trust me"
but they also say that r*pe
and abuse is her fault
and she keeps quiet about it

she would change
everything about herself
if she could

because one girls dream is
another girls nightmare

and everything they do is judge her
Jun 2021 · 949
death
eve Jun 2021
even death
didn’t allow me to escape you

i’ll be looking for you
even when my body runs cold

ill always make sure that you’re alright
even when i’m dead

i’ll love you
even when i can’t love anymore
Jun 2021 · 89
silence
eve Jun 2021
there was that time. and the time before that. i was alone with my silence. i was lost in it’s eternity and it filled me with peace. it’s the type of silence that gave me comfort and i couldn’t let go of it. i was afraid to admit that i found someone who gave me a feeling loneliness never could - you.
you made me want to stop hiding from the shadows, the darkness and the emptiness.
i looked at you in a way i never thought i could look at anyone. i looked at you with hope in my eyes i didn’t know i had.
i looked at you with love in my eyes i thought i’d lost.
so at the end i figured, i’d run out of time
Apr 2021 · 1.5k
my favorite soul
eve Apr 2021
i've invited her to
a dark place i call my mind
and she stayed with me

i've taken her through
a deep ocean i call my tears
and she didn't drown

she's is happiness
she's light
she's poetry
she's my shadow
always there
she's the beautiful flower
in the middle of everything
she's my best friend
<3
Apr 2021 · 484
someone who loves drowning
eve Apr 2021
something that's really hard to understand
is that you can't save someone
who has fallen in love with drowning

you could try to send rescue boats their way
but they avoid your effort
they like the waves
the waves of sadness, tears and anxiety

they like to drown in the ocean of their mind
where they have built a home
out of despair, thoughts and hopelessness
and there's nothing anyone could do

at the end you just have to understand,
that you will never be able to save someone
who doesn't want to be saved
Apr 2021 · 262
her
eve Apr 2021
her
she's like the brightest star in the sky
the sad but beautiful written poem
the small light in the darkness
the reason everyone searchs for
her touch is magical and full of love
her eyes give you a sense of home
she's the little leo we desire
the love to her will never vanish
her name is lisa <3
for my best friend <3
Mar 2021 · 414
death (in german)
eve Mar 2021
Früher dachte ich immer der schmerzhafteste Teil des Todes wären all die Fragen,
die für das restliche Leben unbeantwortet sind.
Aber dann wusste ich, es waren nicht die Fragen,
es war die kalte Leere, die in einem übrig bleibt.
Das Herz, das sich zusammen mit ihr bewegt,
in der Seele Dunkelheit, Finsternis, Dunkelheit,
als ob wir in unserem Herzen durch unsere Tränen ertrinken würden.
Ertrinken in dem Meer der Ungewissheit,
denn niemand versteht den Tod,
aber vielleicht gibt es auch nichts zum Verstehen.
Ein ständig bewegender Schmerz,
der schwächer wird, aber nie aufhört
und der dich irgendwann auch zur Vergangenheit macht, du wirst, was weg ist.
Ist es Freiheit oder Einsamkeit?
Es bleibt den meisten unbemerkbar und das tötet uns langsam.
Da sind Friedhöfe - Gräber voller Knochen, die keinen Ton machen, vereinsamt.
Verstorbene, die eine Identität auf unserer Bühne spielten
und sich Sorgen über ihre Leistung machten,
doch der Tod trat trotzdem auf, auch ohne Applaus.
Aber wie fühlt sich der Tod an?
Ich stelle mir Frieden vor, aber nicht der, der Abenteuer will.
Ich stelle mir Stille vor, aber nicht die, die sich Geräusche sucht.
Ich stelle mir Nichts vor, aber nicht das Nichts, dass sich nach Alles sehnt.
Ich stelle mir vor, und dann wieder auch nicht.
Mar 2021 · 109
home?
eve Mar 2021
nothing hurts more than living in a house you can't call home
Mar 2021 · 125
poetry
eve Mar 2021
people think i write poetry
because it passes time

but in reality i write poetry
because it takes all my thoughts away.
i have so much to say that can be replaced
with something that can finally make me happy.
Mar 2021 · 450
overthinking
eve Mar 2021
overthinking is like always being in a labyrinth
there are hundreds of ways
but only one is going to be the right one
nevertheless you have to go through them all.
finally you found the right one
it's a positive or negative outcome;
a mix of all the other ways;
and you kinda knew it from the start.
the next labyrinth is yet to come.
Mar 2021 · 369
your favorite color (tw)
eve Mar 2021
you said you liked the color blue
and i took you the ocean
i showed you the sky
you didn't like it

you said you liked the color yellow
and i bought you sunflowers
i introduced you to the sun
you didn't like it

you said you liked the color green
and i planted a tree for you
i tried everything i could
you didn't like it

then you said you didn't have a fav color
and i asked the universe for a rainbow
you didn't like it, as always
it was never enough for you

finally you decided you liked the colors red and purple
and i let you draw on me
you left purple marks on my skin
and red ink came out of my nose

oh darling,
at the end of the day you ran away
and i really thought you loved me
wow this was a really sensitive poem, i hope none of you can relate to this and if you can, im sorry. sending all my love to y'all <3
Mar 2021 · 459
astrology
eve Mar 2021
astrology is for people who want to find out
why people treat them way they do
it doesn't make sense
Feb 2021 · 214
scars of your soul
eve Feb 2021
i see you
holding so much sadness and pain
full of emptiness
full of misunderstanding
things you never deserved
imprinted on your flawless skin
i can almost touch the scars of your soul
i love yall
Feb 2021 · 405
7 billion
eve Feb 2021
7 billion people on this earth and i chose you
to write about
to talk about
to dream about
to think about
to love
but you didnt
6.999.999.999 people
ugh i really loved him
Feb 2021 · 171
idk
eve Feb 2021
idk
i know how to love
but i dont know how to believe im loved
overthinking
Feb 2021 · 123
a poet will always love you
eve Feb 2021
if a poet falls in love with you,
the love will never die.
it's always gonna be alive in her/his/them poems
words are never forgotten
Feb 2021 · 139
2 minutes 42 seconds
eve Feb 2021
that song started playing
and it reminded me of you

that song ended
and it reminded me of us too
music songs heartbreak
Feb 2021 · 447
the pain
eve Feb 2021
my friend told me 'its gonna get better'
but what if i don't want it to get better?
what if i'm scared to end this pain?
it's the only thing that connects me to you
it's the only moment where i can really feel you
for some reason i don't want this pain to end
short quick poem
eve Jan 2021
all i did is care
all you did is lie
sometimes you were the person i knew
sometimes you were the person i'd regret

all these lovely words you said
were nothing more than lies
it was hard to listen to them
but it was even harder listening to them
while you were showing me the opposite

you said you weren't like everyone else
and you were right
because you're worse

and i ask myself every day
why do i keep writing about you?
Jan 2021 · 1.0k
life of a poet
eve Jan 2021
we write when we're bored
we write when we want to express our feelings
we write when we want to understand ourselves
we write when it's the only thing left to do

but most important
we write when our heart hurts
love yall
Jan 2021 · 123
:(
eve Jan 2021
:(
i still hide you in my poetry
always and forever
Jan 2021 · 577
beauty is you
eve Jan 2021
if someone would ask me what beauty is
i would define the person you are
your eyes, prettier than all of the bluest oceans,
shining brighter than all stars.
your arms, where i feel at home,
in which you give me butterflies.
your voice, that sounds like my fav song,
i long to listen day and night.

if someone would ask me what beauty is
i would define the person you are..
because you have the most beautiful soul.
love love love love love
eve Jan 2021
i'm not pushing you away bc i don't love you
i'm just worried you'll start to hate me
as much as i hate myself

it's easier pushing myself away
than to deal with the constant feeling of not being enough

no matter how many friends i have,
no matter how many people i'm with,
no matter who says they love me,
i'm all alone
Jan 2021 · 165
mixed feelings
eve Jan 2021
i wanna help them but i can't
i can't help people who don't want help
but they used to be so euphoric
i care about them so much
do they know that they need help?
they don't care about anything anymore
not even themselves
:(
Jan 2021 · 345
drug
eve Jan 2021
they were your drug
and you overdosed
i read this somewhere and i really liked it
Jan 2021 · 1.9k
<3
eve Jan 2021
<3
i'm so sorry if anyone has ever made you feel like its hard to love you
i love you
Jan 2021 · 15.6k
selflove?
eve Jan 2021
kinda hard to love yourself when it feels like no one else does
you're loved
Jan 2021 · 159
my head
eve Jan 2021
i turn off the light
searching for u in the dark
i'll search u forever
everywhere
through this scary place
i call my head
forever n always
Jan 2021 · 557
your voice
eve Jan 2021
your voice my comfort zone
but i don't hear it in my head anymore
it's been a year without your presence
your absence finds me gloomy
not a day without you in my head

but today i woke up and realized
i forgot your voice
you are a distant memory

i'm so afraid to completely forget you

i'd do anything to hear your voice again
i still dream of this
i miss him so much
Jan 2021 · 151
in another dimension
eve Jan 2021
i will forever be mad at the universe for giving you to me when i wasn't ready for you. why did everything have to happen when i was that low? maybe it was better like that,
maybe in another dimension
idk
Jan 2021 · 130
„her“
eve Jan 2021
u‘ll never look like the girl in the magazine
the girl in the magazine doesn't
even look like the girl in the magazine
and thats okay
ily
Jan 2021 · 145
without you
eve Jan 2021
i'm doing so much better without you
i have healed from the pain you put me through
and there's art in everything that heals
i appreciate nothing more
i'm growing to be the best version of myself

i hope the next time
i cross your mind,
it hurts you to think of me doing better
than the way you left me.
i didn't lose you. you lost me))
eve Jan 2021
the things you hate about yourself
are the reasons i'm in love with you
the fact that you don't see yourself
the way i see you
hurts me so much
your love makes me want to be a better person
your eyes make me feel at home
because home is whenever i'm with you
you make me feel safe
i wish you'd believe me
but you don't
old simp stuff for my ex crush lol (he never read it)
Jan 2021 · 231
i didn't really want much
eve Jan 2021
it ***** when you're constantly admired but never loved
it happens every time
people lose interest in me
it doesn't matter how hard i try
they get tired
and suddenly
they are a distant memory
Jan 2021 · 455
life of an empath
eve Jan 2021
we have a lot of mixed feelings
and a lot of thoughts
i cant tell which ones are mine

extremely emotional
since we feel others emotions
just as if they are ours

i can feel your pain
i’m hurting with you
we think it’s our job to fix people
it isn’t
Jan 2021 · 932
anxiety
eve Jan 2021
there's a lock between you and me
and i can't find the key
i don't think i'll ever find it
because there's something stopping me
it always stops me
pulls me back
drags me down
in my dark place

when i'm alone it reminds me
of my problems
of my weakness
even if i think i'm strong
it manipulates me
and keeps me inside

i learned to live with it
but sometimes it overcomes me
and i fall down
i can't learn to live with it

i call it anxiety
maybe some of yall can relate
Jan 2021 · 1.5k
i'll remember you
eve Jan 2021
i remember 100 things
that i don't want to remember
i want to forget them
you are one of them

it's 2 a.m.
i should be asleep
but i'm awake
thinking about you
writing about you

you are the darkness
that comes from the outside
it reminds me of an empty canvas
where i get to mentally draw a picture
of your features
on its blank surface
i still remember all of them
i found love where it wasn't supposed to be
Jan 2021 · 92
nobody
eve Jan 2021
somebody knows
but nobody cares
and nobody's there
i don't know anyone, i am
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