The world tells you to be happy
that you should be happy
you've said all the right jokes
made people smile
made them laugh
played the role well
you have good friends
and even a good family
and they all say they love you
and usually that's enough

But in the end
the lights will be turned off
the part over
and the crowd gone
then you find yourself
taking that long road
back to where you don't want to be
back to being alone

When you get there you'll find
that joy was merely in the moment
that happiness was not yours
you never owned it
and if you lean on it
trust it to get you through
you'll fall farther than before
farther than you knew possible
because all those people can say they love you
but it doesn't mean you do

Every coin
no matter the filth
or how many times
they've been burned
stabbed or thrown aside
every coin
is one step away
from becoming gold
and that one step
is knowing
or being told
that I would risk everything
to have you as my own
I would cross the stars
lay my life down
on even a small chance
that you'd be found

A rock fell on a bird
knocking it down
rather than helping
I left it on the ground

For if I moved the rock
and the bird was unscathed
it would surely fly off
leaving me for better days

and all that I would have
would be the memory
of the happiness I once had
the love that used to be

So instead I leave the rock
That traps the bird here
held in place by the weight
while I'm held by fear

I find myself in a storm
I knew where I was going
Yet I am surprised
That God is crying out
Water from his eyes
Me by myself
My worries and my fears
I knew where I was going
How did I still end up here?
Then I see the lights
The only offering of guidance
They keep me from going astray
Without them surely
The ditch is where I would lay
I've seen these lights before
In following my older brother
In the kind words of a friend
The proud teardrops of my mother
They were there all along
Showing me the way
Were it not for them
The ditch is where I would lay

Why am I still awake
I sit here waiting
I know what will help
Ah yes that's better

The haunting voices
The painful memories
I drown them out
With every drink I down

And yet every time
I seem to forget
The alcohol never kills them
Only makes me reminisce

Because rather than forget
It does quite the opposite
I dream of the past
And escape from the present

It begins as a soft cry
one voice alone
stepping forward
challenging the dark
something so pure
the wounds of being used
keep our trust in it subdued

and then it begins
the voice is changing
wait no
things around it are changing
they are turning
to the source of this cry
which is growing now
into an echo
and now in my chest
this voice I know
not from my mind
but my heart, my soul
it's calling me home
but not the one I own
but was promised

the echo that was just a child
has now grown into a thunder
one that numbers the thousands
one that is so booming
paint is shaking from the walls
it rises from the horizon
waking the entire Earth
something greater than emotion
overcomes my very being
and now the planet
has become a choir
the sky can no longer contain
our voices fly to the heavens
an entire love story
wrapped in a single word
one I can trust with my life
may it fall from my lips at my end
amen
amen

I am but a piece of wood
floating amidst the sea
I have no purpose here
no one is looking for me
I occasionally run into things
and as much as I plead
nothing seems to cling
I know not where I am going
Faded memories of where I have been
My future lies in the fog
my prayers go to the wind
I have but one guarantee
That some day I will have my dream
I will wash ashore
and call that place my home
forevermore

A single rose, I grab it
    Out of curiosity I suppose,
    Thorns dig in
    Thorns of love, pain and frustration
    Yet, I holdfast
    For letting go
    Is a concept I could not grasp
    Even though
    This flower is random
    As any flake of snow
    Blood runs from my hand
    A small part of me gone
    Forever lost to time
    Apart of my heart
    Lost to time
    Then the rose retreats
    Leaving holes in me
    None of which discreet

I told her I had a gift
Wrapped in red and green paper
It was the world's most beautiful painting
Such beauty had caused many rifts
Thieves had come to steal
Some even began to fight
Yet this picture remained unharmed
But oh what crowds it would draw
Never alarmed it was unchanged
Somehow it found its way
Into one noble man's arms
He no better than the rest
Thanked God for he knew he was blessed
For this the greatest thing he ever held
An unbreakable bond he would weld
Than my love began tearing at the paper
And found only her reflection looking back at her

I wish to remember the bad
the fallouts and the fights
the arguments we had
Could I be delusional
out of touch, insane?
For nothing negative comes
when I search my brain
Rather all you bring
is happiness here
stirring up old feelings
many of which I fear
What truly scares me
that I lie to myself about
is that I'll never move on
and take to the grave my doubt.

An old friend
wanting to catch up
I put out a line

A new face
eager to become acquainted
I put out a line

Someone who is good
who truly wants to know me
I put out a line

all these distractions
offering peace
from the dreadful truth
of my unease

So I put out another and another
I put out these lines
because surely
surely one of them will catch

Surely one of them
because I live in fear
of reeling in these lines
and no one is near

I fear reaching the end
and finding dissapointment
so I try to act tough
because I live in fear
of not being enough

I close my eyes
and with it leave behind
all my pain and confusion
what's left of my mind

I close my eyes
and over is the wait
this mere physical body
and its expiration date

I close my eyes
and leave to you the memories
for where I'm going
I can live them daily

I close my eyes
with the greatest trust
because how I lived
you shouldn't weep and fuss

I close my eyes
and if you truly are mine
you will lift up my name
and I'll see you in due time