i’ve taught myself
to be silent when
i shouldn’t,
and now i’m not
when i should,

there i go,
obliviously, relentlessly
and uncontrollably making
my voice worthless and worth less.

this mind grew tired
of feelings of helplessness,
this body cannot endure
the pain,
these hands can no longer
afford to tremble in weakness,
these lungs involuntarily
pump life into me
as these years slowly
escape from thy
inward eyes.

i don’t trust you
to love me through
thick and thin,
when you’re
holding my hand
and when the
distances grow
unplanned,
to think of me
always and
not just when
you need a fan,
when you know
me by heart
but not understand,
to give me space
and not let me
push you away,
when i need your
presence and
your silence as well,
to help me through
my mistakes but
not ease the pain,
when you share
who you are with me
and i don’t get scared.

i had a dream
i was out and about
and midway the tears
suddenly started dripping
onto thy cheeks relentlessly,
i woke up feeling as if my
soul is just too sad
to ever be happy
wherever it may be.

happy news penetrate
through my fading
soul like a wave
washing the
traces off
sand;
                            easily.

my heart’s so fragile;
i’m afraid to give it away,

all that’s left of me is
a sarcastic personality,
and even that is
starting to fade.

sip up your emotions,
swallow the days,
because what sparks
at night also dies
in the morning,
reflect on your
beating heart
and what made
it stop mid-way.