Who is he?
the chameleon boy
hiding in the crowed.
Look, look closely-
can you see his outline?
Who is he- who am I.

To meet someone new
Is to become new yourself
Leave all in the past

Nighttime, and a cloak of blue veils the earth.
I, nothing in hand I set out.
Gaiting under the streetlights,
Harkening to the hill's call.
Trembling, in the darkness as I climb.
Towering above the town
I see all the city lights, shimmering and bright.
Moving farther into the dark folds of the earth.
Envisioning the lives of those below.

i love you so much that it hurts
come,
sit by my side sweet child o' mine
you've cried enough tears for the both of us

knowing that i cannot help-
that this pain you must endure-
o that i could, sweet child o' mine
i would carry it all...

i would carry you.

Worry worry worry
worry yourself away
away from this moment
that might have been peaceful
lean into the fears
make believe's lethal
blind yourself of the feast before your eyes
give into the faux let anxiety rise.

Silent tears,
Silent battles.
In my head
They are fought.
So many, I cannot win.
One day I will fall.

They wont come out and say it
But I can read between the lines
The subtle hints are there
They don't want Him in their lives
He should just go away
But He is Me
So maybe...
I'll go.

I'm a fake human
It's true because they say so
I'm not even real

One word spoken
Like a slap in the face
Intentions exposed
I'm not welcome here.

Do you see me?
Or is your ego so massive
That it constructs your vision.
Do you know that I'm even here?

The long grass sways over
As the wind blows into it
Ripples of green flow

I love to sit in the garden,
Where little troupes of bees
Buzz and gather pollen,
Around the rosemary.
I love to sit in the garden,
Where the flowers' delicate and fair,
Respiration gives crisp oxygen.
And fragrance the spring air.  
I love to sit in the garden,
And sense the warm sun on my skin.
Feel that vitamin D, and to soak it in.
I love to sit in the garden,
And watch the blue-jay play.
See the robin harken.
It's there I'll spend my day.

Acts of a few are
Not representational
Of groups as a whole

Seek understanding.
Despise the actions instead.
Hate not the people.

I can’t just sit and listen anymore,
Like I use to do as a kid.
To sit and listen without contribution,
But to hear the frequencies in the voices.
Grown people can't do that I've found.
Grown people take up too much space.
They become not just a pair of ears,
But also a mouth that repeats what it hears.
Children aren't seen, and they aren't heard.
Flip the switch and now that you've grown
You are always watched.
And you're expected to speak.
Gone are the days of idle observation.

A cacophony of colors splashed in the sky
Blue, pink, orange, yellow and red.
A new painting every day
Never the same, ever just as beautiful.

I walk in the snow as chilled wind blows
My boots tied tight, socks warming my toes.
Pale moonlight reflected off the crystal white
Giving a mystical glow to even the darkest of nights.
Up the yard, I walked, and through the garden fence.
Towards the greenhouse lead by my muscle sense
Following the tracks I had left from the night before
A hut of a greenhouse, I stop just briefly outside the door
The sky is clear and the moon so bright
I wave to the lunar man as I do each midnight  
He waves back and blows me a kiss, such bliss is this
But it’s too cold to stay, once inside I can relax and reminisce this day

Prescriptions got me sentenced
These needles are my penance
My life’s contained in a vial
Body’s stuck in denial
Can’t bear to spare a drop
Little beads of blood that drip
Symptoms that need to stop
Belonephobia, loosened grip
Vision fades in an out
Staggered just for a sec
Soon to find that little bout
Did worse than to break my neck
…My vile…
…My life in a pile
My life all over the floor in broken shards.

These few spoken words
Leave much to be desired
Yet they say it all

Overwhelmed by "needs"
How can I keep up with this?
Is there even time?

Look up at the stars
Swim amidst their incandescent glow
Reverse gravity
Fall into the black pond where they float
See the ripples of a shooting star
Bathe in the beauty of the galaxies.

The train yard is safe.
Far from society's eyes.
I can relax here.

Guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt
Ticks, like a crosswalk, within.
Cold, clanging, buried.

I live for those likes
Gimme gimme
Addicted to validation
Gimme gimme
Refreshing the page
Gimme gimme
Compulsory tick
Gimme gimme
Obsessing over clicks
Gimme gimme
Making me sick
Gimme gimmick

Spoken words bring life
Go forth your separate ways
You are your own poem

I was proven wrong
I will adjust myself to
Understand my faults

Step out on the deck with me
On an autumn’s morn
Feel the wind blow through your hair
The ground, with leaves, adorned
A cold breeze nips at your skin and the
Smell of log fires being burned elsewhere
Let’s take a walk, me and you
Let’s linger in the fresh air

Loving someone unattainable
Is of the hardest weights to bear.
Pour your all into a life that soon could disappear
Away from you and gone in a flash.
Leaving you empty n’re a half glass.

If they stay in your life that’s almost worse.
Can’t look in their eyes, lest chancing an outburst
Of confessions and sonnets proclaiming your adoration.
Never to be reciprocated. Dissolve into isolation.

Loving someone unattainable
Is a hard thing to get over.
It hurts, it hurts.
And will get worse if you let it takeover.

Like a fever it must live out its life.
It will go, but not without a fight.
Clawing into your heart like a knife.

But all is fair in love, in love.
But all is fair in love.

Welcome the night of drunken cries.
Welcome the bittersweet good-byes.
Now's come the time to dry your eyes.

You know you must move on.

You work so hard, and for what?
Sell your soul for a chance to play at life’s little game.
To take a part you’ve already lost.

You work so hard for a chance to live.
But your life is the price you pay.
You give it all chasing phantom carrots.

Stuck on an endless cycle.
Trying to resurrect in the act of killing
The very thing you had to begin with.
The only thing you’ve ever wanted.

In the end it’s wasted effort.
Can’t win no matter what.
In order to live you must die.
And thus the game is played.
As if you were given a choice...

Strong girl.
Nothing can tear her down.
Real life wonder woman.
Give the queen her crown.
When all have lost their morale,
She rises to the occasion.
There's nobody can quell
This doyenne’s veneration.

First ever friends
What luck to have met
Coincidental bonds
That only we would get
Chance a roll of the die
What could be the odds
That we are friends you, and I?
We're like two peas in a pod

I am not my feelings
And my feelings are not me
They are just the tools of nature
To influence productivity
I need not get caught up in them
I will heed what they have to say
Then continue on again
And get back to my day

Why are you so tense my boy?
I can tell by the way you point your nose
Perhaps it brings you a sense of joy
To bark at every leaf that blows
Look at the way that tail does wag.
Seeing you romp, play, and go
How you make my heart so glad
I love you boy; such a good doggo.

Sorry, sorry, I’m late again!
Don’t you worry though,
I’ll do better next time
Because I told you so.

Sorry, sorry, didn’t mean to stand you up!
I know this looks bad, but
I promise I’m not a schmuck.
I’ll make it happen, just you wait and see.
I won’t let you down again.
You can count on me.

Sorry, sorry, I promise I did try.
I know I said that last time.
I didn’t mean to lie.

Where you going baby?
We can still make this work.

Can you believe that ******* *****, calling me a ****!?

How can you say you hate them?
And not realize the irony
How can you hate your own race?
Do you not hear in yourself “that’s a part of me”?
You attempt to distance yourself by making jokes at their expense.
Try to disguise it as humor, but I can see past your pretense.
All of your white friends, whom with you wish to blend,
Will follow suit, then use you as a scapegoat by saying
“Nah, it’s cool man. I have an Asian friend.”
Don't you realize, with your own words you're cutting yourself down
Don’t do this to yourself man, you are not a clown-
To be laughed at and mocked
Neither are the others whom this ridicule has flocked
Be proud of who you are, and from where you came.
Pass yourself off as a joke and others will do the same.

If only I had wings sighed the man,
I'd fly away from here.
If only I had feet sighed the bird,
I'd run to the ends of the earth.

I have a friend who visits me.
When I'm alone is when they speak.
All my faults they help me see.
They're my voice when I am meek.
Whenever I'm imperfect
My friend tells me what I should do,
In the end it will be worth it
But for now, punishment must ensue.
They whisper reminders in my ear
Like a tape 'corder of the things I've said
Whispering a truth that I have feared-
Bad equals me and good equals dead.

The flowers on my windowsill
Pink, yellow, purple, white
Silken petals, stalwart stems
Standing, stretching towards the light
Faintly aromatic, open faced to me.
Eloquently poised so ever gracefully.

I was lying in bed
The covers ****** me in.
Into a deep black void
Where time's an illusion
There was nothing there
No sounds or visions to be seen
Existence is false,
There is no I or even me.

Warm and smooth
Orange mayple syrup
Sun rays ladled upon my back
Absorbing the goodwill of the sun
I lay on the concrete like a hot rock
All tension set aside
Fingers dip in the water
Where the lights bounce and play
Cool to the touch
This simulacrum of the sea
Smell the salt and get swept away
To another time, long ago past
I turn my gaze up to the sky
The big bright blue expansion
It draws me in.
I want to dive into it's unfolding depths.
I want this momentary bliss
To stay with me forever.

I needed more
She was not enough for me
I consumed all that she had
But hunger is a ravenous beast
She once was my everything
I loved her more than life itself
Together we felt we could do anything
But I left her to benefit myself
I couldn't let her see this side of me
Depressed, broken and unsatisfied
I took all her happiness when I left
I regret now all the ways I lied.

A disappointment
That's all that I am
Born to defy
They say I'm not human
I am more
Tell me that I'm not
***** I built myself up
From the bottom to the top
I fought for who I am
I'm not say'n I'm a saint
Not say'n that I am perfect
Or that I haven't got complaints
Got plenty o' em
I've done things that I regret
My parents are ashamed of me
Can't bare what they beget
They may never call me son
Or see me for who I am
All they wanted was a little girl
Not a transgender man.

His hand on my face
My jawline being traced
Caught in warm embrace  
No, we won't go slow paced
These feelings won't erase
Love's not been misplaced
No, it's not a phase
Both caught in a daze.
Your mind is a maze
I'd get lost in for days.
Get lost in his gaze
And the way he says
I'll love you always.