every human being is an island.
so little on the surface
compared to the wonder beneath.
we present only what we wish others to know,
the superficiality consuming humanity.
nobody will ever know what is truly inside
and this is okay
according to society.

but i say **** society.
true contentment resides within our heart
and we must let others reach inside
and with their love guide
us up to the surface
so that our island represents
all of us.
and not just the façade.

we are just two broken shadows
clinging to each other
desperate to love and be loved
we find solace in one another
equally hurt and destroyed
we have both witnessed the destruction of our own hearts
seen them obliterated into thousands of pieces
littering our souls with pain
but together we will survive.
i love you

Inside me, there's a void that I've managed to fall through,
Nothing seems to be helping,
No matter what I do.
I try to stay positive,
Always looking on the bright side,
But it's like the darkness always finds me,
No matter where I try to hide.
Despair taints the world around me,
Sadness softly whispers my name,
While all the while madness tells me all I'm doing is going insane.
I'm desperately looking for a way out,
Exploring inside me, the unknown.
But the deeper I go searching,
All I discover is that I'm alone,
They say the good thing about hitting rock bottom, is that up is the only other way,
The problem is, the walls are just too high to climb up, so the bottom is where I stay.
Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I'm buried in too deep,
And about how easy it would be to forever fall asleep,
But I decide to look once more for any way out,
Because that is not the life I planned for myself,
I know this without a doubt.
I want to live a happy life, I truly want something more.
So I peer across the room, and there sits a key, my last chance,
All I have to do now is find the door.

After all this years, I am just someone you never got to love.

I want to touch you,
under my red lights,
it used to be because I loved you,
and now it’s because I can't heal without you.
I’m trying to touch you,
but it’s more like grasping for oxygen,
trying to swing at something that isn’t there.
And I’m here writing to you,
4 months later on my bathroom floor,
4:54 AM on your birthday,
and I’m still throwing up when I see you.

Screaming your name into pillows,
but not like the way I did in February.
I feel like I swallow razors when I catch sight of you,
happy, unbothered, holding on to someone you cheated to get,
who do you think you are?
leaving me for nothing,
pretending to be happy,
giving someone else my world,
my love,
my kisses,
but no one really knows what went down between us,
the same way they didn’t understand our love.
And I’m fine with that…
but not really.

I’ve tried drinking wine but the truth is you’re my whiskey,
and though they make me feel mature and elegant,
they’ll never taste like you.
But even you have gotten a bitter taste in my mouth,
when before you just tasted like honey.
Their hands feel different,
their kisses awful,
I feel guilty every time someone holds me,
like I still belong to you and you’d be upset.
But truth is you’re being held right now,
by someone who doesn’t know how to hold you right,
and you’re trying to bend and shape yourself to make everything fit,
to try and feel perfect in her,
when you know she doesn’t have the same feel,
she doesn’t go down your throat as smoothly as I did,
so you make up your face and turn your head,
but I caught a glance and I know how it feels.

I won’t stay caught up for much longer,
I’m just waiting for my psychiatrist to take me off this new round,
because it makes me see you.
It makes me crave you.
It makes me miss you.
I’m just waiting for the anxiety to end,
so I can stop following behind you.
Because while I’m not your ghost anymore,
I’m still your shadow.
Because now I have to pretend like I want to be friends,
when I’m just trying to stop the apprehension when you walk past me,
Like that’s all I am to you.
Your past.

-g.e.s.

some people already have a view, a light over the horizon.
their feet are dipped into an ocean that holds many of their secrets,
but they become bored with the mundane & seek more meaning to their existence.
perhaps someone else's ocean will taste differently.
perhaps they'll finally learn how to swim.
willing hearts & open hands accept these travelers because maybe they're an adventurer just like me.
but really they're just passing through.
they only want to experience new flavors, to swim in unknown seas.
they need to escape but they'll never leave.
cowards perhaps, to temporarily give up the comfort of the river and sink into the oceans' depths.
but the ocean is not quiet & neither is the wind.
she will shred your sails & sink your ship.
she will not forget how you stirred her waves into a tsunami and left her there to drown.
when the night becomes indifferent, seek change first within yourself.
you will never find light in another if you do not love your own hands.
do not take arms you know you will eventually let go of.
do not awaken hearts you cannot call your home.

and so we go on. and the ocean waits alone, for the next light on the horizon.

We are lost humans, with lost  minds, lost souls, lost hearts. We are the generation lost. Lost in anyway. Lost in the world, with perfectly running brains we don't use. Lost love, lost lovers.The product: lost children.