If I told you I was dying.
Drowning in my sleep
If I told you I was bleeding
Wrists gushing from the vein
If I told you I was ******* insane.
If I told you I was dying.
Choking in my wake.
And sinking in a lake.
If I told you
I can’t take it anymore.
Every inch of my soul has been explored.
Yeah I’ve told you time and time again
The palm of my hand is so cold
This feeling gets quite old.
I’ve been waiting
Always waiting
For the right time
To tell you that I am not okay.
To tell you that I will not obey
These commands
That seek to **** me further.
I have lost all hope
Because I am losing myself!
Don’t tell me lies
Don’t say it will be alright
Because I am telling you
You can do nothing to stop everything.
You command me to be happy
But bad things keep happening
You treat depression as a concession
Just waiting to charge me
So this is my confession
I hate being seen this way
You send all the doctors
But they really just proctor my life’s events
Pick at my brain and expose what causes me pain
I will never heal this way!
…
Respect my wishes
Undo these stitches
Let me scream which is
My life’s calling!
I’ve received a gift
To make an ordinary life shift
But I am still crying
Over filling with tears
My soul as a tub
Only filling with fears.
There is no escaping my mind!
Raise me up
I’m broken
But a piece of my love is my token
To redeem myself.
Don’t leave me this way
All there is, is rage!
Join me on the stage
This is the way
We turn the page
And light the book on fire!
Burn, ***** burn.
Reckless
The broken are the most dangerous because we have nothing left to lose
You cannot threaten me with a noose
String me up and hang me
But you will only encourage me
If I told you I was broken
I have nothing left to offer
If I told you that you were too late
If I told you
I was drowning in my sleep
…
Would you even care?

once the people taste freedom they wont return to chains.

When I was a kid
The world seemed so simple
I was always too caught up in imaginary worlds
I was always too concerned with my Legos
Than to see what world I was really living in.
See when I was a kid
Toys were my escape.
If I had a bad day at school
I went straight to play with my figures
When I was a kid, I didn’t worry about opinions
I didn’t worry about safety
I didn’t worry about my future.
Now, things are different
The world is changing.
The world is moving too fast
And I can’t find a good place to take a break.
I have changed so much from that little boy sneaking toys to school.
I have changed.
I have changed from having blind faith,
Only believing in something and someone because I was told to.
Now, I make decisions for myself.
Now, I am not scared to say no to something,
Because now I know that this is my life.
I am in control.
Sometimes I think about my life so far
What I have been through and what I haven’t
My mind often wonder to the man who calls himself my father.  
And his anger towards me.
Because already, at the age of 15
I have done more things than has done.
He doesn’t like that I try my best
That I find new ways to make a living.
He wants me to fail to somehow prove himself right
He wants me to fight
Throw the first punch and wait for me to catch on to his rage
And to that I say, “Act your age”
Yes, you are 42 and acting like you are two.
When I was a kid and when my toys were my escape
He was the one to throw them in the trash.
He was the one to fan away my thought clouds,
Crush my imagination
And cut open my happiness with no emotion like tearing open a letter.
That’s why I have vowed to become better.
No longer am I angry with the abuse that I went through.
No more do I leech on to the thought of revenge.
And why?
Because hate soaks through people like a sponge.
It is just waiting to be squished out.
Instead of trying to ruin his life, I will instead work on rebuilding mine.
Because one day my pity that I conjured up for him
Will come back for someone that I will inevitably sadden.
I may have been raised by a monster
But that doesn’t mean that I cannot prosper.
I see his life with a special lens
I try to analyze his pain so I know how to fix my own
I take notes on his mistakes so I know how to prevent my own.
He has never been anything but an open textbook,
Full of lies,
But a beacon of hope to recognize those lies.
To become better.
To study a psychopath but never become one.
Yes, I am filled with anger,
But I have seen first handedly how anger screws someone.
I hold on because I know that there are a million kids who have had it worse than I.
The unfathomable courage that they have to wake up every morning.
I never asked for this kind of life,
But it makes one hell of a stepping stone for me.
It allows me to recognize not just his evil in the world,
But the evil that exists in this life that we are all living.
There was never just one issue.
Never just one timeless conflict that consumed happiness over the last 2000 years.
There was never just one root that poisoned the rest of the tree,
No instead it was people like us who were more than capable of change
But never chose to stand.
It was the people who watched
The bystanders that ******* it up for the rest of us.
But I’ll be the first to say that I am willing to stand if you will
So the question really is,
What don’t you like
Why don’t you like it
And what are you gonna do about it.
We don’t have to be a revolutionary,
Im not trying to give that impression.
What I am saying is that it is time for us to do something
Anything
Because if we don’t,
We will be forced to watch the world fall.

Im dying
I've said it a million times.
in a loop
over and over
I die.
relate.
anyone
please.

The words I used to use
Always end up crashing all around me.
Falling lights scrape the crown away from me.
I have ever only felt broken
And I don’t want to fight anymore.
I feel like this world is always letting go.
And the sky turns to dark each day.
I’m sorry, but this is so hard to say.
I wanted to be something different.
I wanted to change the world.
But in the end, each time, I find the futility of change.
We all fall sometimes
And it hurts sometimes
And right now it is so hard to get up.
Knives poke my hands as I try to gain the strength
As I try to gather anything I can.
Everyone is laughing,
I am suffocating
No,
They won’t miss me anyways.
I am falling as hard as the rain
And my time is coming to rest.
I cannot handle this test alone.
So breathe life into my soul
Before I die alone.
Someone **** this feeling inside.
I cannot choose to reside these things.
Bring me up
Lend me a hand
So I can attempt to
…
Rise
I was never shown the way to be.
This life only proves what I can’t be.
So take a look at me
Poke at my imperfections
String me up and leave me to hang.
I cannot take much more
I was expected to be strong,
But I am cracking at the base.
I am crumbling to dust.
There was no sense of control.
I slowly feel the light fading away.
No one wants me to stay.
And if this was goodbye
Could you look me in the eye?
See the pain hidden deep inside.
I don’t know where to begin
But now I am feeling the weight of every sin.
Time always goes on
But I am stuck in the same **** cycle.
I’m sorry but I can’t handle
The weight of the world upon my shoulders.
The hurtful words that come crashing down like boulders
And I don’t want to stand.
I don’t want to become buried in the sand.
My life is so slippery
And I can’t get a grip.
I can’t breathe tonight.
I cannot sleep tonight.
But when I look in your eyes
I see past the lies
And I can’t help but see how the time flies.
So breathe life into my soul
Before I die alone.
Someone **** this feeling inside.
I cannot choose to reside these things.
Bring me up
Lend me a hand
So I can attempt to
…
Rise
These mirrors wind to destruction.
They lead to the death of the most alive.
They lead to the crack in my soul
Each time the mirror tells me
Who the hell I’m supposed to be.
Someone anyone
Save me
I’m freezing.
Lacking what I need
To continue to live.
Why has death shown me its emotions?
Why have I been chosen to lead this life?
Why can’t I breathe anymore?
Why do I feel death again?
I want to be strong again.
But I am only a mere mortal.
And the only portal is hope
And I am letting it all pass me by.
This is why
I have always ever been
So ******* dead.

The only thing keeping you a failure
is believing that you're a failure

https://soundcloud.com/user-123704847/loud

Witch's curse,
wolf's circle.

a man who writes,
is a man who truly bleeds

Take a deep breath
In and out
Don’t let them see the real me
In and out
Don’t show your smile
In and out
My chest is rising
In and out
Until I reach the point when I say
In and out
Stop acting like everything is okay!
Put on your sunglasses and hide your ugly little eyes
Kind of like the way everyone tries to hide their lies.

How long will it take,
Before you realize this life isn’t fake.
I wished everything away too soon.
When I was young
I wanted the perfect family,
And a brave courageous father
But we can’t always get what we want, can we?
See I feel like my life is on a script,
Everyone knows me better than myself
And why?
Because I have closed myself off from the world.
Trapped myself in a box and I want out
But I cant!
you see
Its not up to me,
This life, this world,
Its scaring me.
I wanted it to be that when I fall
Angels catch me before I hit the ground,
But instead I am greeted by an alarming thud.
How many people have to die before you realize
That I will not compromise with who I am.
See people with depression are too busy trying to learn ourselves
And everyone else expects us to learn our content
Like a good little boy.
Don’t you see,
This life means everything to me,
You cannot prescribe me pills and medication
To change who the hell I am.
I am proud of me,
So what I get a little sad sometimes,
So what I wonder why I am here.
And all yo
u want me to do is hush
And breathe in and out.
No need for me to shout.
I am nothing
Sike!
I am everything!
depression does not control me
Depression is my cocoon
And I have emerged,
I am ready
To accept who I am,
Do not try to change me,
If you think you can love me than go ahead and try,
But please don’t make me cry,
Depression has a strong grip,
It doesn’t allow me to live,
And makes me feel like I want to die,
This is real.
The more I hide behind a smile
The more I realize that I am not okay.
And yes this poem is strange,
Call me a ******.
But don’t treat me like a mistake, like a typo.
Don’t turn your head when I say I need someone.
I hold out my hand,
But nothing happens.
I bleed out my heart,
Nothing happens.
And all you want me to do is disappear,
There is no one standing in front of the mirror.
So let me write a letter have it start like this,
Depression,
You will not win.
You will not remind me of my past sins.
Depression,
I am greater than you
Depression
You are under my feet
I am in control of my life,
I am helping others no matter the cost,
And how you ask?
What if I told you this poem is for you?
All of you.
Everyone with depression
And even those who don’t have it.
Depression will not win,
It is an outsider and not welcome in my life.
I forbid depression,
I kick it out.
Do not challenge me,
I am the challenger.
When you face me,
You better do it with a smile
This,
Is my time.
I will live my life,
And depression,
You will end.
How you ask?
I will breathe in
And out.

death
waits for
*no one

"I have feelings for you low key"
I am saved.

Do not try to understand me
I am new.
Do not try to get close,
I bite.
but,
though I wear black
I am
proud
so I keep calm,
and listen to bmth

Hissing by like a snake
******* on the heads of those who bow
You
Have no respect.
No remorse
You are not
Human.
Never was.
Because
Humans care
Humans love
Humans have compassion,
And you
Well
You are something else entirely.
This was just a note to say
I hate you

I was alive on a hot summer day,
I was feeling so good,
we had good food,
got me in the mood
for you,
you told me
for you a thousand times over,
you were my four leaved clover.
but as you wished
me to stay,
i cried that day.
i know i know
we enjoyed alot.
the ***
the journey we went on
countries we hadnt seen.
but girl,
i dont mean to say
i didnt want to go
i love you
but on that hot summer day
you told me
the stars were mine,
but that was my line.
I was supposed to tell you
about your eyes.
you wanted me to tell you
your *** was gold,
your ***** as sugar
so sweet.
but hey
I need
to say
i love you.
which is what you wanted.
but hell cant say enough,
like that day he called you a ****,
also the day i went to jail,
his face rearranged.
**** girl,
you make me do crazy things.
and you are ...
...
...
...
crazy

few words as possible.
what the ****?
why?

broke
as my heart
as my wallet
as my love life
as my hope
as my family
as my earphones
as my washer machine
as my mind
as my soul.
as your word's meaning when you say
"I love you"

His eyes,
Foul breath.
His fists
Demonstrated he was more than ******.
No lies
****,
Nothing but them.
This was supposed to be our new sunrise,
We were supposed to start anew.
Make amends, and try hard to move on.
But I can’t forget
His eyes
His foul breath
His fists pounding on my body,
His choking
His scars that he gave me.
He wants to lie to me,
Lie to authorities.
He is not granting me my right to that horrible past.
My survival is being denied.
My revival is only beginning,
But I must repair this heart,
Use two whole rolls of duct tape,
And try to recreate it’s shape.
When he hears the word abuse,
His feet still shift,
His breathing stops for a good second,
Before he continues.
He knows,
He shows,
No remorse.
Nothing that he can fix.
It is his nature,
Which is why he can’t change.
Why he won’t try.
To understand why I cry.
No
Not at all at any time do I plan to forgive,
But I was willing to try to move on,
But that was denied,
A big red stamp,
******* on a contract,
The thing that was supposed to repair us.
He wants to watch the world burn,
**** us.
His fists shall beat him through another day,
Until it comes time,
To watch his façade burn.

acting apart
my teeth chatter,
my blood with a splatter.
please baby,
don't make my heart shatter.

Grandfather, I’d say
Come with me today.
We would see a world anew.
Full of the things we love,
None of what we hate.
We will have cinemas to keep us company.
Video games for the playing.
Lots of world to cover as time merely stops.
We shall feast at grandma’s cooking,
Enjoy a sweet treet,
And meet batman himself.
Grandfather, I’d say,
Its my turn to make you happy today.
He’d smile,
And gently take my hand,
As we run away to a happy place.
He knew no evil,
So we will see a world of fun and games,
And we’ll forget the bad names,
That we fought so hard to avoid.
I would take his hand,
Show him the way
To have a **** good day.
We will be in paradise,
No more need for dreaming,
Not cats due to his discretion,
And lots of root bear and pizza to fill our hearts once more.
He won’t have to deliver any more packages,
Because I chose
To take him with me.

right now
I dream of a world
Just us.
I want to see your eyes
Shine like this sky.
See I want her and I in this world,
Because she is my inspiration.
She is the only one I want.
She is the only person to reach for my heart,
Complete bliss,
As she gives me a kiss,
The softness of her lips,
As we gaze towards each other.
In this place,
The sky is as her eyes.
Green with upmost gentleness.
The kind that gently rocks you away to sleep,
This feeling is so deep,
She is my inspiration,
She will be with me in this place,
As we join hand in hand and never come back to this ****** world.
We can start anew,
Becoming more than we had ever hoped.
A simple love poem, but I think not.

I found myself biting my lip
Drawing blood as I looked into her eyes.
I wish she could know
Does she know?
It’s like I want to expose myself
Purposely mess up,
Let her hear a hint.
I wish she knew how I felt
Could she know?
And what if she did?
What if she knew?
Would we be right for each other?
Sometimes I see her looking at me.
Almost starring.
I can’t help but wonder,
Does she think about me the way I do her?
She feels like everything,
But I hardly know her.
This passion radiates off me.
How is this even possible?
She is so beautiful
Yet somehow so insecure.
I want to see the future.
Our future at hopes,
Maybe I can learn the ropes.
E,
If we ever get to love each other,
This is for you.
This,
It has always been about you.
I really like you.
Like, a lot.
You are so cute.
Make me feel like a mute
Speechless.
I hope
One day
I will
We will
Have mutual love.

Human,
You are only a babe,
But there is so much I could tell you.
There are things that are gonna happen.
Bad things.
Things that are so ****** up,
You are going to want to give it all up for the sound of a glock.
But child,
There is a way.
You might get lucky,
If you are blessed enough to have a good mommy and daddy,
But for me,
I wasn’t so fortunate.
Through abuse, I cursed the world,
But I also learned to grow up without a helping hand.
If this is you,
Its really simple to crack a fake smile,
Say you’re okay,
And have nothing else to say,
But you will find hope somewhere.
These voices in your head are demons that want you to stop giving a ****.
But remember, everyone is born with a little bit of luck.
So make it count tonight,
Tear off these band-aids that were sowed to your skin to hide the bruises.
I want you to live,
Live a better life than I could ever look.
Find hope in the moon,
It is always watching.
Do not carry this burden if your life ends up being good.
But do not forget the souls trapped in their own hell.
Things can always get worse, yes.
But you are a beacon of hope,
You.
You are worth so much more than what they will tell you,
There are real people that will be unforgiving,
But you must find it in your heart
To forgive.
Its hard child.
But believe me,
You will find hope in the good things you do.
And this is because you were able to do what many others could not.
And as you cry tonight,
Waiting for care,
Remember this.
You are not alone.
But people will leave you.
People will abandon you.
They will stab your heart,
Just to see it bleed.
But hope is what you need.
Stand up child.
Stand up tall.
Raise a fist
And send the haters to hell.

When I was able to feel the pain
I went not to my mother.
My mother betrayed me.
Not my father,
My father left me.
I retreat to music.
I bury my scars and bruises in music notes.
I wait for that beat to drop,
In order to raise my heart back up.
This music numbs my pain.
I feel safe in my music,
Grab a pair of headphones before a gun
In a **** zombie apocalypse.
I am going to drown out the hurtful words,
In a tub full of lyrics.
Music,
Heres to you,
For saving my life,
More than anything ever should have to.
Safety,
If you’re lucky
Will be found.
But my safety is the drums
And the guitar.
A song for every occasion,
The rain even has a beat,
Drumming but no rhythm.

Tradition.
Ever since I can remember, there has always been a drum kick somewhere.
There was always a slight hum,
Or the faintest whistle.
Ever since I was in my mother’s womb,
My heart has beaded to the sound of the drum’s snare
And as I was born,
I whined with the sound of a guitar.  
If you ask me what my favorite childhood memory was,
I will simply say music.
When I was little
I noticed that everyone had a favorite type of music,
And I, being as independent as I was,
Decided that I was not going to like music at all.
But, as music does,
It took me away
“Like the moon rules the tide”
And if you know what song that’s from, I’ll love you forever.
Now I realize,
Music is my soul
It makes me feel whole,
It’s something that cannot be stolen.
My family always has had music,
Music led me from the deepest hole of mourning,
And it is digging me out of this current diagnoses of depression.
Music is a universal idea,
Every culture,
Every person has their “soul” music.
My family started with the deep roots of rock
Metallica, poison, and Guns & roses.
My parents where the stereotypical punk rockers of the 80’s.
So it was only natural for me to follow their footsteps,
Except a lot more *******.
And as I grew,
I gained more of what my family had to offer me,
I found out that my mother was amazing at the flute,
And my dad was a beast on the drums,
But somewhere along the way they passed on the urge that music is life,
And one day, it will be the performance of a lifetime.
This tradition fuels me today,
I see it in my everyday actions,
Wherever I am there seems to be music playing somewhere.
I am fueled by rock to this day,
Though some call it devil music,
I find it rather heavenly.
I heard a quote once that said
“you hear screaming
I hear meaning”
And this is more than true because as you hear savage screaming,
I hear and understand their words and pain.
The stereotypical people always think those songs are about worshiping satan,
But what they don’t realize is that beautiful lyrics such as,
“That little kiss you stole,
It held my heart and soul”
And
“I am the ocean, I am the sea,
There is a world inside of me”
Exist
I don’t know if there are any fans of this band here,
But that was from one of my favorite bands called Bring Me the Horizon.
Anyways,
The thing people have come to know as “screamo” has become my tradition.
It has brought me to know so many good friends,
And tons of amazing conversations.
Even if it starts when I wear my “My chemical romance” t-shirt, and get a ton of compliments on it.
And im sure music unites you as well.
We all have different tastes,
But in the end there is something everyone can agree on.
If rock isn’t your cup of tea than maybe rap,
Or hip hop,
Or R&B.;
I dunno,
Its up to you!
But music is where my roots started,
And those roots are growing a powerful tree.
Music inspires me so much, and can you genuinely say the same?
Do you ever have those moments when that perfect song comes on,
And you stop everything to hear it?
I do.
And its normal.
It is human nature to sway with the music when you think no one is watching.
This tradition is so delicate,
And it will live on because there is always new music ideas to be had.
New lyrics popping up every day,
And who knows,
Are you the next protégé?
I never thought I would write a poem about music but yet here I am,
Following my tradition
Of music.

My body is the planet
My heart is the people.
It is fighting itself.
The blood popping from their vessels like the volcanoes erupting.
My heart hates itself.
No more than the mirror on the shelf.
My body is evolving.
My body as the planet,
But somehow my emotions are changing with the tide of the ocean.
The people hope for a promotion,
Like the brain in all glory,
This, this is my planets story.
Each scar is a war,
Originating from the heart of pain.
Beneath the scars there are bones,
The support of my world,
The atmosphere,
Keeping all that is bad out,
But yet the bones keep breaking.
These seeds of evil keep coming out,
And I am feeling dark.
These bones,
The atmosphere is breaking
The ozone becoming as thin as paper,
My bones as paper shall break.
This planet of mine,
This body of mine,
Has something to see.
These eyes as oceans,
They flow within me.
The oceans as eyes so calming.
Stood in the dark place, but the water remains.
The one thing that holds beauty when the people’s actions do not,
This is the area in which we are taught
To read people.
When you look in my eyes,
Though not blue,
You will see life.
Life as the sea, because there is a world within the waters.
So much life and profound hope to be seen,
And here is where you look.
These eyes see sadness just as the oceans become *****,
You can poison the heart, the people.
You can break the bones, he land, and tear them to shreds,
But the eyes, the oceans will move on.
It will roar.
And the brain you ask,
This brain is the main part in which I operate.
It is the history of which Ive seen and what Ive not,
Learning from its mistakes and taking the past as learning tools,
Not criticizing the last fools.
My brain sees the unseen.
My brain is not the people,
For not everyone understands the past.
My brain is not the land, not the bones,
Because bones will fall.
My brain is history.
And history is not to be forgotten.

my flow of emotions
are far more valuable
than your temptations.

The family tree is dying
Everyone seems to be lying.
The tree is falling apart,
Everyone stops caring
My family grew from the same roots,
But our branches are growing so far apart.
Everyone is letting this demon into their heart.


I am planting my own tree.
This tree is going to grow in upmost care,
With no one to stare at us.
This tree
I will call my own
Will have strong roots,
Values and traditions.
While the old tree dies away with every bad omen.


This tree will grow with care.
It will grow with every emotion to spare.
I will feed my new tree with genuine love and understanding,
No more fighting.
No more judging.
Just pure patience
Our branches will grow intertwined.
The roots go deep into the ground,
Tons of people in so many places.
But the past is dying.
The traditions are dying like a malnourished plant.
I cannot believe how low this tree is coming.’
These roots which grew deep
Are soaking in poison
Feeding the poison through the tree,
And affecting the modern members.
Anger the only root.
These roots are becoming ghosts.
They watch us.
Our moves.
Our actions.
My family is not a family.
These roots which was so deep are killing us at the top
Our lives falling like leaves in the fall.
I know that I want to make a new tree.
But let it not be in vein.
I will learn from this old tree,
An old mentor,
Who lived a life most unsatisfied.
This new life starts at 18,
Carving my name at the beginning,
And as I live,
I will see the sapling grow,
While watching the other tree die.
Its pain is my gain,
Because I am learning the tricks of the trade,
I am learning how to escape the grips of anger,
The accuser who condemned my family for generations.
I will break free,
Grow with the tree.

My family’s branches are high, but alas far.
They are becoming separated, but I am young and watching.
They say that your life is set by your parents,
But I am not fueled by abusive fire,
I have grown past them,
I have thrown this virus of the tree away.
I am not going to fix their problems,
But I am growing my own success,
My future.
This sapling here,
The seed to be birthed,
It is going to grow,
So tall.
These notes I have scribbled,
Will lead to the happiness of my child,
The contentness of my wife,
The success of the spawn of us.
This tree is going to take a long time to grow.
It will learn from its mistakes as its predecessor did not.
It will be tall.
Making this broken tree nothing more than a shell,
This life,
This tree.
It is going to be free.
The sickening evil for blood with dry up,
The new tree will feed on smiles and happiness,
And out will sprout
The family,
I have always hoped for.

But this hope started somewhere.
This hope I birthed had pain.
It is a spawn of abuse.
Which seems to be the main cause for the old tree to dig so deep.
The anger of the leader spread somewhere,
And though not everyone is the cause,
We were ALL effected.
It took our values
Pushed them to the depths of hell
And left a chilling heat of anger and hate,
And though this is a debate,
Our family’s trajectory is going straight to hell,
Back to the man who gave us anger.
I cry today,
For those who were consumed by the darkness.
I feel sorry for those in the tree who did not reach for the sun,
Who did not fight for the family,
Who did not fight the urge to inflict pain.
A sad thing indeed,
But this is why I have the need
To start again.
This is why this life,
This current tree
Just isn’t working.
I’m tired of being fed hate.
It not too late.
My tree is going to grow strong.
It’s starting now,
Here
Today
It always has been.
I was superglued to someone else’s tree.
Taught their values.
Taught their insecurities and told they were my own.
But the forbidden word.
No.
Is becoming my advocate.
I will reach for the sun.
I vow to encourage
I vow to take what is rightfully mine.
I vow to start anew.
Make this tree reach high.
This new tree will never know the “Mendoza” way of things.
This new tree
Started by a sad situation
And a definite resolution
Is becoming truth.
I may have grew up in the poison,
But more and more ii have found a cure,
Immune to anger
To hate
I have found that these roots of their tree,
Which has poisoned each twig,
Has one fault.
It never tried to reach for the sun.
So I,
I take this,
And I make this my own.
This house is not my home,
But things will bend
And I will break,
And start anew.
I will live to see my family flourish.
As its predecessor did not

She speaks so kindhearted.
She looks so beautiful.
Her eyes as jade, so delightfully green.
They shine as a newly cleaned sword blade.
Her laugh so gentle,
Her smile so sentimental.
How do I say I think I like her?
She loves another man, but I feel I’m better.
Loyalty is a virtue
And she seems to live it well,
But that “guy”
Really nothing more than a hothead boy,
Doesn’t deserve something as perfect as her.
She reminds me of the trees,
Her natural beauty.
I know somehow she sees the real me in my eyes,
She recognized it the first time we actually spoke.
But when he’s around I feel like I need an invisible cloak.
I know what her
“Lover”
Is.
Who he is.
What he is really after.
After her body,
Not her heart.
But she must travel this path to learn,
Why this guy was single to begin with.
Why lust does not make a good pair with faithfulness, and gentleness.
I hope she will see that I can offer better…
Soon.

All these mixed emotions cascading down my face.
Her fears turned into my tears.
Like a rose bud, bitter and sweet,
And such a painful thing to meet.
She was my drug, but I eventually overdosed.
Though I never gave her the thought of a proposal.
She used to stand to me to tall.
But she led me to a painful, long fall.
She was my power
But as all things do, it got too sour.
She was waiting for something to devour us.
There was a fault in our stars.
She made me feel like I was isolated, living on mars.
This wedding band meant nothing.
When it was supposed to mean something.
I’m surrounded in the thoughts of what we used to be.
You meant everything to me.

The words spread a painful mist.
Dark red, like the results of his fists.
I was never looked at with a good eye,
No one ever understood just what the hell was really wrong with this guy.
I was always pushed to the side,
So they could walk in their hateful stride.
But this message is going to turn the tide,
Because
I am giving up.
I am laying my anger down.
I am proving that it is possible to escape this anger filled town.
I am showing that there are eyes that will see
The problems like the ones that has constantly affected me.
This feeling is skin deep.
But I am tired of looking at all these people, and their red razor wrists.
So when he raises his fists,
I’ll return the favor,
Give him the taste of blood he can painfully savor.
Break the silence,
Kiss this world goodbye,
I’m looking for another place to reside.
Let my soul run free,
Taste this cool, crisp air.
Yes, father, I do dare.
Though its not like you care.
Let me go.
Let me bleed on my own,
But please don’t ever go chasing me,
I’ll run six feet into the ground
Where the rainbows grow bound.

You are either going to love this one or hate it, though I know what I am voting for, see, because they talk about curiosity, but I am curious about you.
I’m curious how you got the moon to pair with your eyes making them so big bright and beautiful.
I’m curious how you know what to say to make me smile, how you know exactly what to say to make my insecurities go away.
Like how can you know me so well, and make my heart swell, and make it so hard to tell you, that I might have a thing for you.
I’m curious on how your smile resembles the face of god, how perfect people are not supposed to exist, but yet here you are.
I’m curious to know how such a person like you could even stand to talk to a person like me.
Yeah, and I want to know how you make my heart flutter, and how every time we talk you always end up making me stutter,
and I am curious to know how you got so good at being so cute. You are always telling me that taking risks is a good thing, and this, this is my risk. I am opening my heart, and pouring my soul onto this page, and I am preparing to sink or swim.
I want to know how my mind is always so confused when I’m with you, and I am curious if there is some way that these emotions are mutual. Because *** right now I got a lot of kids wondering, A. Who’s he talking about * B. this is awkward and strange, or C. this is terrible.*
But for everyone else, please forgive me, but this is necessary. This is the only way I could think of telling her I think I like her. See, I know I’m not really a likable guy, but girl I am telling you, you are able to make me fly. I believe in everything when you’re around. It’s like your laugh is fuel, and your smile is the plane, your feet must be hurting, because you run marathons through my brain. I can’t quite make sense of this feeling, but believe me, I am telling you, you are perfect in every way. It tears me when you give in to your insecurities because there is so much I can tell you to build you up, but I’m scared. Your truth is beautiful. I love you for you, and I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m just scared because this feeling is fragile, and like glass, it can break quickly. But I need to tell you this, and I know this isn’t much but this is my truth. If I could spill out my heart on this page, I would, but the ink would smear.
I’m curious how your night was, I care about your emotions, I carry your words with understanding. I want to tell you straight up, but my smile might fade, and a lot of people are probably going to through me shade for this, but this is worth the humiliation and teasing, I am willing to do this, put myself down like this for you. I am telling you my genuine feelings for you, standing here feeling like I am back in elementary passing notes asking you to check yes or no. I want you so bad, but I am scared because as I am speaking, you are here listening to me. For all I know you could be examining my flaws, but I hope that you are hearing this, and knowing that this is your poem.
I am curious to know how you are able to inspire me so much to do something as crazy as this. It’s easier to talk about depression or abuse, but this is the cheesy roses are reds violets are blue thing, but wait, I got a good ending for that one, too! It’s like roses are red, violets are blue, but not a flower brighter than my feelings for you. I know this poem is not perfect, but I am trying because you are the definition of perfection. I trust you with this, I trust that you know who you are. This flow of words can be dedicated to you. This is my roundabout way of telling you, I like you.
So I’m curious to know,
*If you could somehow like me too.

Your lip quivers
Your body shivers
I know you're hurt.
Your heart is suffering internal damage.
I know you need someone to listen,
And be here.
So here i am.
I am standing here
Holding out my hand
To cover and hold your bruises.
To hold your body
And let you cry
On me.
You never deserved this
not him
Not the pain
You deserve love.
And i,
Love you.
And i hold you
To put your toubled mind
*to peace

In the beginning our creation was supposed to lead to our damnnation
And as i grew, i cried myself away, but those tears carried me through the day.
More and more through perseverance I find my heart is still beating in these dark times are receiving and I've seen many days turn to Dawn
and I often feel so alone, so gone
but I always ask the question
if I speak will i inspire the weak?
because we all start somewhere
humble beginnings,
and through a Dark Night comes a bright day and the brightest day starts today.
Don't just hear my words but listen to what makes them true.
the beginning is now the clock is started.
we all have a beating heart in our chest that we can call our own
and it's our feelings that we choose to postpone.
but continue to breathe
it's what counts now.
This house you hope to build needs a foundation and maybe you've heard this before
but inspiration is the route on which we grow.
but how can one know because somewhere between the lines there always seems to be lies and deception and this is the Inception of Hope of great and yeah we all go through some hard...well never mind let's keep that refined.
We gotta take this jump it's a cliff away and we might not make it but there is always the chance .
There is a crown and scepter at our feet, but are we brave enough to take this job?
we have a place in the world.
we really do
it's a challenge to believe especially when we're always put down this is the place to start here the place you stand if you need a giant arrow make one ,
but be sure to make sure someone *knows your name

So you are bringing me pain
I tear at my face
Hoping the flesh will mold itself
Into something
better
I look like a zombie tonight.
Im tired of executing this fight.
I thought i could do this 'till i die
Truth is all I wanted to do was chase you.
And in the end the question is what did you even amount to?
I was willing to give up my skinny jeans,
Aviators
And band shirts
In turn for your attention and love
But you took me and made me a fool.
"All in the name of love"
I tried to be what you wanted
But what you wanted was a swimsuit model and a load of ca$h.
Im sorry,
But im not saying sorry to you.
Im apologizing to myself.
I was willing to wash myself away
For a girl.
And it seemed like my body and heart was shot at with an rpg.
But know,
I wish you
A very special
********

If poetry dies
We all fall apart.
If poetry dies,
Will the sun not shine anymore?
Because the sun is poetic in its own way.
It radiates.
It illuminates.
It inspires.
And if poetry dies
Art dies.
Poetry is everything.
Its existed for centuries.
See this is brought people together since forever ago.
And today, it brings us together.
you and me
And whoever else's poems you delight yourself with.
We create a community.
Here
On this site.
People from all over the world.
Each of us with a story to tell
And one talent we show
poetry
Isnt it great?
A tradition that must live on.
The art of emotion
Some complex
Others delightfully simple.
Poetry
Creates us,
Our creativity
And the desire to write something new
Something **great

Her skin
Soft like a newborn.
Her legs wrapped around my waist.
Her eyes are staring into mine
I see the stars forming.
In her cornia.
Her body heat
Slowly elevating mine.
Her lips tight against mine.
She is all I've ever wanted
And here she is
Upon my waist.
Upon my body
upon my mind
Here she is,
Her muscles tightening
Her breathing rapidly quickening
Her soul flying
Her lovely sighing.
She is all I've ever wanted
She looks so perfect tonight.
She seems to always know
just what I like.
Her chest up against mine
Her heartbeat strong
Her breaths now so long.
And it is everything for me
Not to lose myself.
She is all I've ever wanted
She is the one for me
And she cried the day
I got on one knee
Here we are
Alone tonight
My hands on her curves
Her hands gripping tight
She is
Suduction
But my, I dont mind
She can have her way
After all
She is all I've ever wanted

I have serious intentions
To break my limitations

Going down today's rabbit hole
*what the **** am i gonna find this time

I was so foolish to believe
*you actually loved me

****, im about to slip
Will you catch me
Or let me slip
*the choice is yours

Be the person to leave a mark
not a scar

I grazed your body this morning.
I was caught in the sweet scent of your perfume
Your sudduction was unlile anything before.
You are beautiful,
Maybe even too beautiful
I couldnt stop thinking.
You look at me
With those kind eyes
The kind that seems to whisper
Love me.
I long to see you
This dawn thats coming
Cant make me feel
This singing sensation.
You
Are in my heart
*will you stay for me?

One bullet
Is all it takes
*to make me happy again

Is it bad
That i want to be someone big
Someone great?
Because
All my life
I've felt like i've been in a bubble,
Aaaalways in trouble.
I want to finally become someone people like.
Right now i feel alone,
But somehow i feel like its the start of the end.
I want to build a fanbase.
I want to live
better
Do you think i can?

Beaten Bitter Blood mouth.
Emo shutters through the walls.
Darkest dreams surface to reality.
Black eye
Strong guy
A club
And a kid.
All over
Here
In
This time
He pays
Price
$$
(Prison)
Sketchy motives
And a coffin
Left
For the
Morning
To clame