His name was whispered but soon forgot,
as I drew in all my breath.
He is what I want
..at this moment...
Both exposed and uncovered.
A casual encounter where he like others would want more...
I put my fingers to his lips,
shhh.
Linger in this moment.
Let excitement be electric.
Your name is invalid.

Reaching out into the darkness,
I wonder,
why thinking of him hurts so badly.

I meet him in dreams,
soft kisses of ginger and melody,
intimacy unfolding me.

I open slowly,
delicate and curious,
only to fade again with sun rise.

Daylight is lonely,
counting silence,
and the piece's of him I fear I've lost.

In sleep I beg him to take my heart,
to shatter it,
because,
I always linger in between.

You ask his name,
because you can see it written on my lips.

His light fills cracks and corners,
Banishing darkness that lurks in between.

Whispers of hope for this to blossom with time.

He's every other heartbeat.

It's written on my lips.

But his name is mine to keep.

Don't worry,
You've never heard of him.

I kneel before the temple of Regret, prayers slip through lips of red. Collected stars in a jar, sealed with tears I have not shed.

Like lighting bugs but brighter, it shines with a blinding burst. I sipped from the waters of Lethe once, now I can never queue my thirst.

I didn't  mean to hurt him, I'll do anything to make it right. Out of pure desperation, I silently robbed the night.

I went through hell to get here, pulling constellations from the sky. I almost lost it all to Ruin, but still I refuse to cry.

This is all that's left of me, just a shell with a pretty face. So I give this jar as an offering, of the things I can't erase.

Words that surround me and cut my flesh, like a little jagged knife. Words that I pretended didn't hurt that ate at me my whole life.

These fresh wounds you leave won't seem to heal, as I pick at open skin. Tear me apart, take a chunk just so you can win.

Damaged already by careless fools, who are to blinded to see. That words have this ability, to completely destroy me.

I carry the world on my shoulders, my back about to break. Determined not to let it drop, as the ground will often shake.

Earth is angered by the way, I sit here always kneeling. Pressed between the land and sky, my mind is always reeling.

Wind is my best company, sweet caresses to my skin. Soothing away my sorrows, since calamity did me in.

Light radiates and fills me with warmth, my heart always aflame. But when darkness begins to set, the shadows say I'm to blame.

I carry the world strapped to me, a vow I cannot break. Sacrifices made for greater good, praying for souls that are at stake.

Like rocks that fill my pockets, it just weighs me down. Regret always whispering doubt, it would be better just to drown.

I hold it between parted lips, his name that can't be said. Like sandpaper on the tongue, my frustrations so deep I cracked and bled.

Tell me Sorrow why I sit, on the corner of Self and Obligation. While in the cloak of night I cry, and choke on my own damnation.

I can't wash this new lover off my body, the filth won't rinse away. Another name on the list, another excuse not to stay.

It burns within like a thousand fires, desire that can't be repressed. But I'm so busy punishing myself, that I may never rest.

You may have noticed puzzle pieces  scattered all around me.
Patterns starting to come into light.

I know this because I see it myself.
So I wait.

I always catch myself wondering what my heart keeps saying, because I'm finding it difficult to translate.

I love the wrong way.
I know this from everything before.

Puzzle pieces that never fit, no matter how hard I try.
Glue and paste never hold.
Edges always askew.
Patterns so complex they hurt my eyes.

It takes time I'm guessing.
Patient hands to guide pieces into place.

I wouldn't know what to do if it where complete.
Or what it might be like,
To never have too worry about starting over.

He mentioned my favorite book in bed,
reading my thoughts aloud,
and stripping me further.
How easily I fell for him.

Misplaced is this part of me,
I can no longer find.
Tossed bedside earrings that fell carelessly,
becoming abandoned in bedsheets.

I dream of him less now,
fading knowledge that his body,
once fit so perfectly with mine.
His eyes carry so much depth,
that I couldn't discover reason.

Distance fills this gap,
so I tuck it away into corners.
Swept emotions into the closet,
pushed away with missing him.

I must love the wrong way,
always knowing,
he wouldn't stay.
taking the most intimate part of me offered,
I stand here,
between space and silence.

Magic is all around me, In a little touch of light, Or enveloping me, In a full moon on an endless night.

It erupts in busts of laughter, Where sadness thought it could stay. It's the comfort I find within, On a lonely day.

Once surrounded and hopeless, Magic helped me see, Through the looking glass I once wondered, If I can truly be free.

What once was ruin, Has transformed into something I so proudly call my home. It's everything I was told, I could never have on my own.

I stretch these wings, so soft and new, I've worked so hard to earn. Only through surviving hell, Can we begin to learn.

I feel magic all around me, as I crave to experience the world in strife. To touch and be witness of, What I've been caged from all my life.

I pulled the monster from the shadows, and cut his throat with glee. I muttered prayers of forgiveness, and declared it Destiny.

I couldn't stand the constant battle, the knife left in my back. I've run out of fingers and toes, counting all the things I lack.

I took those wings he severed from me, and sewed them back into place. I stood tall in spite of rumors, whispered phrases of disgrace.

Never did I claim to be a Saint, my history's tainted and twisted. But I had to ****, this Demon that existed.

Maybe I should feel remorse? He's 10 feet in the ground. But no matter how hard I search, no emotion can be found.

Moonlit dreams and candle light, stars that speckle the darkened sky. I fail to count the hours, minutes, as time just passes us by.

Your touch that triggers goosebumps, rise upon my skin. Thoughts that flicker through my mind, as our dance of intimacy is about to begin.

Take my breath and breathe it as your own, inhale my infatuation. I close my eyes and let my mind slip, into this wonderful sensation.

Magnetic bonds to tie us, pulling us to touch. I rise and heat just burns through me, attraction consumes so much.

Passion flares red as we collide, entangled in one another. Through heat and sweat, we cant deny, that we fit perfectly into each other.

It builds and takes hold of me, I am left gasping for air. Fireworks light the way. I lay to rest in your arms, where I forever plan to stay.

You fit into my thoughts like your poems fit in my pocket...

Delightfully comfortable.

I could write you a list so long, outlining all my flaws.

You call me beautiful and I can almost see it.

Hands could intertwine and it could be so wonderful..

But you'd have to get to know me.

Walls could come down...

But you'd get to close.

It could be wonderful for awhile.

Bodies tangled and laughter filling our hearts.

But I get scared so easily.

You are a masterpiece...

I'm resisting the impulse to run as emotions take me.

But I know an absence of you would always linger in-between if I did.

All I know at this moment..

Is I couldn't stand for "us" to be another broken memory along the floor.

But how could that be possible when I'm so consumed with thoughts of you.

I bloom in front of you,
open and flourish under my own sun.
Yet you,
don't stop and watch anymore.

Under finger and thumb,
I stretch ever so delicately with hope.
yet you,
aren't accustomed to this shade of green.

Stretching upwards,
I wish on stars that make me feel insignificant in a greater world.
Yet you,
refuse to believe I am magic.

I cry tears of pure sadness,
watching life grow where they fall.
Yet you,
can't appreciate the simplicity of my nature.

I pour my soul into you,
intimacy in over flow and heart swollen.
Yet you,
can't see that I have begun growing roots.

Standing in a puddle of gasoline, trying to get this ******* match to light. It doesn't matter what I do, in the end it's never right.

A scarlet letter brands my body, to match my lips of crimson red. Let me whisper poetry in your ear, and take your heart to bed.

Lay me down, I'll set fire ablaze to tame your tortured soul. Broken hearts never mend, a shattered essence can never be whole.

I'm standing here with this stupid match, striking it to spark. Always hoping to set fire, to what's hiding in the dark.

I now am yours,
I give myself to you completely.
You say the most wonderful things, Your gift of words overwhelms me, rendering me      b r e a t h l e s s.

Allow me to lose myself in you.
to get swept away in the intensity of your love.

Your laugh like bursts of golden sunlight warms my very essence.
        You come so easily to me.

You tore down my defenses as if effortless.
Leaving me vulnerable and exposed. Please don't break me.

I resist the impulse to run anywhere but into your arms.
I am yours so completely yours.

I wanted to fill the cracks of his mind, and breathe his very breath. Need consumed by deep desire, leaving me scared to death.

I hung a rope on that tree, where I used to kneel and pray. Struggling to keep my head up, waiting for something he refused to say.

I wanted to slip and fall into arms, eager to break my fall. Scattered hopes cast about, that are just shadow puppets on the wall.

I cupped my hands to catch his tears, but the favor was never repaid. Slip the rope around my neck, in hopes to repair this mess I made.

I wasted all my saved up wishes, just in the end to tie the knot. I finally took that step and hang myself, with all the promises he forgot.

This is when I turn to rock, emotions mold to stone. I could never give you my heart, for its not my own.

I drift away with regret, I know I let you down. I cant take back the things I think, when your not around.

I feel it pulling in my chest, rise up and come to tears. I took a chance to make this work, and it ended with my fears.

I disapear now like the wind, I fade into the trees. You think I will forget you fast, but pain is hard to ease.

Dont look back and see me, a shadow of who you once knew, for I was never fully here. I make it look so easy, but the scars are always there.

I wish to be a cloud.

I could linger in between.
Present but not fully here.

I'd allow the wind to take me along the endless sky.
Never losing possibilities or places.

I wash my hands of regret and responsibility.
I'll bask in freedom and forgot about pain.

To be visible, yet never close enough to touch.
Always searching for what lies beyond my reach.

At this moment I'd give anything to be a cloud,
To dissolve into the unknown and become so beautiful.

Morning breaks with the sunlight peeking through the curtain.
Light stretches it's way across the room,
blinding and beautiful.

Reaching for him,
I need him close because time won't last.
This isn't reality,
we have been tinkering with hour glasses.
Finally able to pause the world.

My head swims as I inhale his scent.
I had to much to drink last night,
dive bars and napkin poetry set the tone.
Adventures and exploration,
ending with erupting satisfaction.

I've been swept away,
lost and entangled in the bedsheets.
One earring missing,
my bare skin pressed to him.

I don't want to leave this room,
but check out is soon and we can't linger much longer.
He was mine for a moment,
tucking another secret behind sealed lips,
and trying to get a grip on my beating heart.

I feel like a ghost sometimes.
Only an outline,
of what can be whole.

Never fading.
I just consume this space,
containing chaos in a jar.

Silence can hurt.
Raising doubts,
suffocating suspicions as imagination wonders.

Heart beats strongly.
Haunting every corner,
darkness is our curse.

We do belong together.
collapsing constalations,
and pulling stars from the sky.

I could learn,
to tolerate your imperfections.

Microwave you fish sticks for dinner.

But you won't talk to me.
Angry over something I carelessly said.

I've only thought of you naked a few dozen times today.

I googled you,
and was disappointed by the lack of ****** in your image search.

A mind is a beautiful thing,
but I always liked your body better.

I never thought I'd ever know the feeling of her absence, Her laughter faded into memory.

Her scent still lingers in my closet. Clothes that silhouette an image that was left untainted.

Words fail to express the truth in what we had, yet I push it away.

I had to when it hurt so much.

Our past set on fire when I chose to leave it behind, hurting us both.

But I'll never know who more.....

The problem was she only saw part of me. When I gave her so much of my soul.

In the end she broke my heart worse then he ever could. Fogged eyes seeing expectations I couldn't for fill.

Secrets whispered of lies so easily believed. Tainted red and broken already.

I walked away because I couldn't bear her heart break again.

I never thought she would never not know me. But in the end she proved she never knew me at all.

There are no words to describe what's come over me.
Waves of emotions   crash  
dragging me down    to drown.

I struggle to suppress the pain,
        to not give into it.

Icy liquid,
a brilliant blue     wraps    itself around my body.

Tears burn my eyes
stinging   with   salt.

I give up allow myself to drown.
Sinking fast,  tears    choke    me.

My thoughts are annoyance,
buzzing constantly....

I let it drift away,
no one can save me...
I let them drift away....

I sink
    suffocate
           my weakness disgusts me.

I'm to tired to fight,
to hurt to care anymore.

I give into water.

Consume me,
take me to the ocean floor and drown me.
I offer you my life.

I give into water.

If I can't have the one I want,
then perhaps,
I won't have anyone at all.

I'm a ghost these days anyway.
Right here,
does anyone really see me?

This man reeks of tabacoo and *****.
I wonder at his persistance,
so willing to touch a stranger.

Hands try to tug through my hair,
his breath so close to my face.
This absence in me echoes lost.

Recently my hearts been broken.
But for a moment,
the pain stops,
and I can't feel anything but nauseous.

I'm best faded into the background.

I hate that I walk away sometimes. That these walls can't come down...
It's just easier to go.

Because,
You think you want to know me.
But you really don't.

I tuck secrets into the corners of myself,
A crumpled piece of paper riddled with drunken cursive.

I can't escape the desire to cover you in soft kisses.
Or the need to hear the rhythm of your heartbeat.

Distance, I panicked and had to add space in between.

People always say I shine

But that's because they are to dazed to see what's hidden in the shadows.

Don't give me stolen sentiments, I'd rather have the wine. Don't paint my paths with fake rose petals, I'm a bitter valentine.

Diamonds are a girls best friend, let's face it you're always broke. You never write me poetry, and its all just one big joke.

That box of chocolates overpriced, it tastes like a cheap *****. All the efforts just a waste, to get in my front door.

Don't buy me flowers that are half dead, I can't stand to watch them waste away. Stupid men love stupid woman, on this stupid day.

Dust me off
      As if
I had never been tucked away.
      As if
Time never lapsed
into a greater space.

Dust me off
and see me only as I am now.
     As if
I never have been beyond
or before
this moment.

Dust me off
Placed on a shelf to protect                  
     As if
it is worth watching fade.
     As if
This corner holds enough light
       Just for me.

Dust me off
    And see me
through the looking glass.
    As if
For once
I'm not to delicate
for touch.

Blue sky's
Hold witness
to grey days.

Light shines
upon me.
But I do not feel it.

Just this
heavy weight
in my chest.

Just this
dark void
that's swallowing me.

Just this
Need to
Run from everyone.

I begg you
Pull the sun
From the sky...

Blind it's eyes
From witnessing
My destruction.

I lay, The curves of my body fitting perfectly within yours. No space,
Just a loving embrace,
back pressed to your chest.

I always crave to belong to you.

My body remembering traces of moments, Moments I'd pause and find sanctuary in.

If it is but a small frame of time that I can tuck away in my pocket, Keep it close to me always.

My eyes are clouded for my reality is like yours, Only one perspective. I breathe you in, Like I've done so many times before.

The absence of you seems stiff and crinkled,
Like a crumpled piece of paper.

Ink blots and words crossed,
Just discarded verses and rhythms sprawled endlessly.

Incomplete maybe in a way,
Because I no longer keep your name on my lips.
Only hidden in sheets of paper.

Can you feel the silence?
Like a discarded notebook.
To full to continue,
Lines fill the margin so it's set aside.

Even words escape me now in this,
Paused in my last verse...

Change was screaming in my face, I had no choice but to comply. Backwards fables burned into me, it's all just one big lie.

I see the problem clearly now, but this mountains in my way. Life comes with no foresight, it just wants to make you pay.

Counting on my hands the wrongs I've done, that lead me to this rope. Always an uphill battle, somewhere beyond another *****.

I think of giving up sometimes, but it just wouldn't seem right. Holding onto hope I stand, grasping with all my might.

I could be the warrior, that rises up and claims his glory. But really I'm just a damsel, and distress is my life story.

I can't do away with a broken soul, nor can I fix all the pieces. So I'm tearing out the pages of me, to ease this pain that never ceases.

Scribbled verses set in margins, that make sense only to those who choose to see. Erasing all the unspoken truth, that made a prisoner of me.

Dog eared pages I intended to revisit, one day when they made sense. Learning lessons from Humility, yet I've bent at her expense.

What is written in the book of me, no one would want to read. Demons sitting in the darkness, bickering over what they prefer to feed.

I put it all to paper, now I want to destroy it in the end. This book of me has come to be, my only confidant and friend.

Backwards clocks sing distorted chimes, in this promised Land. Nothing solid beneath me now, I struggle just to stand.

Stories told us bended lies, and nailed us to this cross. Head held high we carry on, searching for what is lost.

They said to seek religion, but I always break the mold. Fortune tellers tossing cards, of dreams that just grow cold.

Hope must be a grown up wish, neither really stick. Any path leaves us marked, with scabs we like to pick.

I waisted youth to get here, to stand behind the line. They preach about the promised land, then left us all behind.

I've folded so slowly into myself.
Tucked emotions into creases,
crinkled corners stained from ink.

Fingertips tingle from the need.
Yet my hands won't gather intent,
my heart just beats,
and I'm here....but I'm not.

I used to bleed through ink,
Now I linger on the edge of verses.
My clockwork heart on the tip of it all.

I buried myself so deeply,
sealed envelopes with no postmark.
Destination void.

I'm not the same person anymore,
sunshine no longer warms me.
Letters go unsent,
remain unopened.

You are abstract.
Rare in our world of black and white.
So full of color that you burst.
Beautiful on canvas and in theory.

Stunning is you when you shine.
Breathless is me here before you.
I want so badly to fill in the cracks.

Contrasting elements leave us lingering in this place that we now can frame.

I could look at you for hours not wanting to blink.
Gazing into the powerful man,
Seeing beyond what others may see.

I'm captivated and perhaps a bit shaken. Left in such awe.

I say this with absolute certainty,
needing to catch your tears in my hands.
You are a masterpiece.
You are a work of art.

Everything is always winding,
   Turning into
Something unknown.
Ending up      
                    In a different place.
I've almost forgotten where I started for a moment.

Uncertainty has always been a burden.
The unknown leaves me searching.

Cards
            Palms
                       Omens
                                     Dreams.

That part always gets me..
  Fortune teller of fantasy in flowing skirts of rainbow fabric.

I laugh so brightly it sometimes hurts.

Promise not to   let the room
    Go dark.

I could get lost in its   e  n  d l e s s
Void.

***** intuition, sensing visitors in the night.

Uncertainty is a spiteful villain.
However the stars
       say fate  can be just as cruel.

Come back to me,
I can feel the silence.

Heavy as it presses upon my chest.
Thoughts of you suffocate me.

Your eyes I see so often,
As I open and close mine.

I whispered I loved you...
Just once,
Not loud enough to hear.

I feel so lost now.
Parting my lips for sweet tongued kisses,
That only falter.

Allow me,
To be your sunshine again.
I'm still yours
Come back to me.

I've folded so slowly into myself.
Tucked emotions into creases,
crinkled corners stained from ink. 

Fingertips tingle from the need.
Yet my hands won't gather intent,
my heart just beats,
and I'm here,
but I'm not.

I could bleed through ink,
drops settling into words on paper.
Yet now I linger.
My clockwork heart on the tip of it all.

I protect myself so deeply,
blank envelopes with no postmark.
Destination void.

Letters filled with shards of me.
written with hopes,
and invaded by exclamation points.
some letters go unsent,
to remain unopened.

I by fate and tragedy,
have been appointed to the childrens keeper.

We pass through empty streets,
the city in ruin around us.
We search,
salvageing what food we can.

We live in fear that destruction will return.
Wild dogs run about, baring yellow teeth,
threatening to attack.

We take refuge in a tall building constantly keeping watch.
We can not be the only survivors. Someone will come for us.
Where has everyone gone?

It is just I,
and to many children to count.
Sobbing tears,
that I wipe away with hopeful kisses. Restless dreams,
that I banish with sweet lullabyes.
I can not repair the damage that's been done,
but I can give them love, hope, comfort and warmth.

I by fate and tragedy,
have been appointed the children's keeper.
A task I accepted.
Now these children of ashes are my own.
They are my life, my everything.

Shattered...
Is me.
Always so afraid to move that I get lost in the waves.

I'm made of glass but no one cares.

Oceans overflow from me.
Spilling out so disgustingly.

Any dignity I had has washed away completely.

Am I so stupid that I forgot how to swim?

Tears won't stop.

This sadness is overwhelming and I just can't reach the shore.

My tears are an ocean.
Held in so long that it swells,
So consuming is sadness.
I wish I could just drown.

It's always a struggle.
Tears fall without my permission,
Into an ocean that could maybe help me vanish.

He chased me all the way to lonely, now I can't go back. Doesn't matter what he says, my bags already packed.

He spewed words once of sincerity, but they've now begun to rot. Seems to have been left beside, the actions he forgot.

He held me close and intimate, deceiving me with lies. Shedding masks from his face, each revealing a different surprise.

He bought me pretty flowers, that will soon wither and decay. So I'm pulling out your petals, hoping for a sign just to stay.

He said he loved me and meant it, at least that's what I thought. Dead daisies lay around me, he loves me, he loves me not.

Moonlit dreams and candle light, stars that speckle the darkened sky. I fail to count the hours, minutes, as time just passes us by.

Your touch that triggers goosebumps, rise upon my skin. Thoughts that flicker through my mind, as our dance of intimacy is about to begin.

Take my breath and breathe it as your own, inhale my infatuation. I close my eyes and let my mind slip, into this wonderful sensation.

Magnetic bonds to tie us, pulling us to touch. I rise and heat just burns through me, attraction consumes so much.

Passion flares red as we collide, entangled in one another. Through heat and sweat, we cant deny, that we fit perfectly into each other.

It builds and takes hold of me, I am left gasping for air. Fireworks light the way. I lay to rest in your arms, where I forever plan to stay.

I feel my clothes catch on jagged rocks, but I mustn't slow my pace. Hands from limbs of unseen trees, slap me in the face.

Exhausted and worn I carry on, boots kick up dirt and mud. Thirsty lips that long for dreams, onward must I trudge.

I have hope tucked in my pocket, and luck strapped to my back. I'm bent yet never broken, no time to count the things I lack.

Monstrous rocks that block my way, they will move to my command. I'm pure strength and determination, in this shell they call a man.

I seem to walk on uneven ground, the earth will often quake. But I know no matter what, I mustn't ever break.

This journey seems never ending, the chaos all to real. My hearts been cracked along the way, but it has no time to heal.

Seems as if destruction follows me, I leave broken soldiers in my wake. Love is just a twisted riddle, that puts our souls at stake.

Cast your stones if you must, I'll stand and just endure. Label me with stereotypes, and pretend I'm nothing more.

My boots hit gravel as I continue on, I grind my teeth against the sound. I'm moving every mountain preventing me, from finding stable ground.

Hidden between the heaven and earth, on plump clouds of painted grey. Lays a child of immortal youth, who's eyes shed tears of yesterday.

Small hands that just can't touch, what he hears in the angels song. Hair of gold and cheeks flushed pink, he obediently sings along.

Above our world he watches, sadness written on his boyish face. Never able to escape his fate, or this lonely place.

His sobs are hidden by the wind, his tears fall from endless skies. Ruin is always asking him, why it is he cries.

It spills out in overflow, emotion this holy child can't contain. Dripping forth from above, and comes to us as rain.

He must have came from heaven, yet I never witnessed the fall. I imagine it was with such a force, that it could have wreaked us all.

Bible verses tossed aside, some already committed to mind. A King among men in our world, yet to human for his own kind.

I cup my hands to catch his tears, my heart is his to hold. Wounds from battles won and lost, never ending stories to be told.

He could move a mountain, take down an army with bare hands. Yet you would never know it, just by the way he stands.

Armor put aside just for a moment, it gets so heavy in weight. But he's made of mightier things, and suffers the misfortune of fate.

Sand moves through the hour glass, counting down the past. I gripped to tight and lost it all, praying it would last.

I miss you sometimes so much it hurts, but I look back to see the ruin. The scar still proof of what we had, it was our own undoing.

Sand feels gritty between my fingers, I have to pace about. But frustration of things that went unsaid, makes me want to shout.

I can't make sense of the absence between, just that it always lingers in this space. Memories I still hold next to me, I wish I could erase.

It came down to this...

My head to heavy to lift,
my fears to big to face alone.

Tears?
I've plenty.
they spill out of me in over flow,
creating an ocean that would swallow me.
    
I had strength yesterday...

Brick walls stop me.
as they tumble only to crush me.
Why can't I get through to you?

I broke finally.
Thought you'd be happy to hear,
that I fell off my high horse.

Now all that's left of me feels so shattered,
my very essence rides the wind.

Like virtue it doesn't hold,
all of me is tainted.

Standing in a puddle of gasoline,
Trying to get this ******* match to light.
It doesn't matter what I do,
in the end it's never right.

A scarlet letter brands my body,
to match my lips of crimson red.
Let me whisper poetry in your ear,
and take your heart to bed.

Lay me down,
I'll set fire ablaze to tame your tortured soul.
Broken hearts never mend,
a shattered essence can never be whole.

I'm standing here with this stupid match, Striking it to spark.
Always hoping to set fire,
to what's hiding in the dark.