Someday we'll all be dead
And we'll be sitting in our graves wondering where the time went
It's no so much a problem; it's just a shame when you realised
How many wasted opportunities passed you by and you didn't blink an eye
Take the cute guy opposite you for example
You let him just walk away
With a thousand possible outcomes from one word, "hello"
But maybe in a parallel universe, an alternate reality, you ran off the train with him
And just took a chance
And maybe you wouldn't be lying in a grave regretting
The boy with the blue eyes opposite you on the train

I know what you want.

It's what they all want, all pine for
You're like animals, animals, savage and oh
The pride that you have, it reeks off of you, from your skin bones core face eyes
I don't understand it

Because oh, they enjoy it so much
And they view themselves as items and such
But I can see you, see into your eyes
You trapped scared cornered bullied worried little boy
You think you need this

It's the animal inside you that I can feel
Languishing and writhing inside, desperate to feel something, feel anything
You need the connection, but it's waning breaking distant over away from your reach
Intangible, irreplaceable, lost

What are words when they can't reach you?
Used to communicate but oh you use your body
And your eyes, they tell me stories
Of where you've been, where you're going, where you are
But you're not here right now present ever because you're lost hidden silent child crying wailing sealed away suppressed

I can feel it all in your touch.

This is how I die
Not by poison, by blade, by bullet or by fault
No big exit, no trumpet, no serenade or fall
Just you, yourself, left ingrained in my veins
Your absence, your silence, is killing me again.

I like the small things in life.
I like the smell of sweat on our skin after being out
I like the smell of rain in the mornings and the feel of it pattering on the top of my head
I like late nights and early mornings, burning my candle at both ends
I like putting on makeup and feeling like a girl
But I like wearing baggy clothes and my hair up and feeling lazy too
I like people's faces;
I like crooked noses and thick eyelashes
I like thick hair and crooked smiles
I like sunrises and sunsets
I like thunder and lighting
I like sleeping in and waking early
I like mornings before the world has woken up; I like nights after the world has gone to sleep
I like life, and everything that comes with it
But you should always appreciate the small things in life
Because life without these things wouldn't be life at all

Words are uncatchable, fleeting
Soft and sharp
To heal your wounds and break your heart
They can be smoothed and polished to perfection
Or sharpened to create a deadly perforation
Make them shimmer and glitter like sparks of light
Or cast a gloom of perpetual night
Weave them, hold them, string them up
Taint them, paint them, but never use them up
They can be cold and cruel and hard and dark
And kind and warm and bind our hearts
They're twistable, kissable, catchings of glee
Embrodiery in the mighty world tree
Enhancements which dull the melancholy humm
Of work and stress and all things dumb
I'll use them, abuse them, fill them with me
Pay people with words and words with seas
Of amazing knowledge and words of grandeur
They'll always be rich and never be poor
Words are my forte, my intricate strength
But for you, I have no words left.

I am sorry to my body
But my spirit was not strong enough

Blue is for the skies above
The slow pattern of clouds creeping

On. Red is for the passion of the heart
The scarlet, bright, life force that keeps a heart beating

On. Green is for the luck
Of the draw and the hope that everything will go on

As it has done before. But
Now. Here. All that matters is the

Grey, the grey of your eyes. The
Blonde, the blonde of your hair

The colours matched against the crooked smile
That makes my heart beat
On.

Hide your dark fantasies
Because here we may never speak
I had a piece of you once but that piece has changed;
Though not yet twisted enough as to be corrupt;
It it not that part of you I remember now

You were once mine, my strange friend
But while dappled light now streaks my memories
They appear as fictitious as the smile you flash me.
I do not trust you to betray me
But less so do I believe those soft words you speak with a tongue I know to be sharp

It does not seem that time has passed between us
And the oft-forgotten thought that we are not who we used to be
Does not entertain my musings as much as one might imagine
But despite my distractions I still do not believe in true love, or fate, yet I believe
That everything happens for a reason

It was not attraction that drew me to you but it is fascination that keeps me ensnared
And you, with your girls, pay me no heed
But I can see the truth of who you are,
See your badly hidden lonely intentions
I see the harsh reality of who you are
From the depths of my waltzing imagination.

I haven’t learnt to breath fire yet
So it sits in my chest, pressing against my ribcage, searing the flesh around my heart
Hot tongues lick up the inside of my throat, burning my words as they come up, blackening them beyond recognition
You put this burning snake inside me
And choose to blame me for burning too

Will you fall in love with my words?
I know you're not a stranger to deceit but perhaps we're already past that milestone. It's been years, won't you come on over?
It's like the drip drop pattering of rain on a dreary Monday when the glass of your windows is covered in tears that fell from the sky and you've never felt more alive than this, that the night
When we first met as equals and you were no better than me I could trace your life down your jaw and your smile by your eyes and hear your hurt in your laugh
What is it? When you feel like this?
When your heart knocks against your ribcage and you're filled with relentless ecstasy
And your handles tremble like leaves in autumn and your eyes dart around anywhere other than where your eyes are pulled
To seek out your fragile soul, buried deep inside you
And twist out the slow deliberate movements
as I brush away something from your face
But that's all there is. That's just it.
What is it? Surely not love. We could never love.

You left a burning snake
That coils itself at the base of my gut
Snorting smoke that travels up inside me
Fills my lungs and chokes me
Until I learn to breathe fire
So I can destroy you with your own devices

You tell her I’m crazy
Because I told her how you slid your hands up the insides of my thighs the day you were planning to see her
Because I told her how your lips tasted the day you had dinner with her parents
Because I told her how you looked between my legs the day you told her you loved her

You tell her I’m crazy
Because you had me and wanted her

You tell her I’m crazy
Because I found out

You told me
Baby, I’ll ruin you.
I said
Don’t play with fire.