I honestly don't remember when or how I fell in love with you...

I just remember one day holding your hand & realizing how much it was going to hurt when I would have to let it go...

Allow yourself to dream,
And when you do dream big
    Allow yourself to learn
And when you do learn all you can
    Allow yourself to laugh
And when you do share your laughter
    Allow yourself to set goals
And when you do reward yourself as you move forward
    Allow yourself to be determined
And when you do you will find you will succeed
    Allow yourself to believe in yourself
And when you do you will find self confidence
    Allow yourself to lend a helping hand
And when you do a hand will help you.
    Allow yourself relaxation
And when you do you will find new ideas.
    Allow yourself love
And when you do you will find love in return
    Allow yourself to be happy
And when you do you will influence others around you.
    Allow yourself to be positive
And when you do, I guarantee you,
your life will get easier...

Some people say I'm a "genius",
Some say I'm a "natural born writer",
Some say I'm "Crazy" or "Insane" Some even go so far as to say I'm a Poet...
But see, that is not how I see it,
The way I see it Is not that of jus writing or poetry,
But rather a expression of emotion, no matter where I am.. I stand at work in my mind, I begin to assemble phrases, words, and lines, and feelings..
Because to truly write you must feel!
You must freely write your emotion!
To write the truest thing you must learn to let go off your deepest darkest secrets...
You cannot let someones opinion of your poetry change you! I never did..
Because your poetry is your emotion made flesh..
Allow the words to flow from ya mind to your pen to paper, from the hands to the Keys...
Allow an internal combustion of words! So again I ask,
Am I really a Poet??
Because while Poets create Passion filled masterpieces,
Me?
I create Emotion....

A Blank mind, wit cloudy vision
the satisfying crack of a mean collision
from an elbow swung, or punch thrown
and in my ears, a buzzing drone!
  I breathe deeply, and start 2 think
of how I was pushed, to the brink
I really do regret it now
I'd fix it but, I don't know how
  But it feels so good, at the time
but the mind doing it, isn't mine
It's not the nice sweet child
with polite voice, and manners mild
  But which am I and which is me?
Which one of those am I going to be?
The child, who's weak yet nice?
Or the monster, that nobody crosses twice?

A Beautiful Mask

I remember when you changed... I remember because my gut was ting was wrong. I remember because our conversations changed, they got shorter & less often.. you became cruel and cold. You started to ignore me instead of listen. You left me alone in the dark & I couldn’t find my way out, I called out for you! I waited and waited for you, but you weren’t there. Then finally days later you came, only when you wanted my attention, when you wanted something from me, when it was ideal for you. You never told me why you left me in the dark. What I did to deserve it…..every time I thought I could see a little hint of light, it vanished. I felt sick, my body was cold. I couldn’t breathe. Then you came back…I was happy. I let you come back because I was in love, you were my everything. I tried and tried but it was never enough. You broke me, you took everything in me and ripped it out. You spit on my soul and on my heart... I believed all ya bs, your half truths, your fake love. I believed I deserved an angel, I thought I had a beautiful angel.. But turns out I was dancing with the devil in a beautiful mask. But foolishly I didn’t care. I loved her, or maybe I loved the mask. No matter what I was going to love you despite a broken heart, losing my breath and feeling my self slowly fade away. I did love you. & you destroyed me…because you were selfish, you gave nothing but always wanted more more more. Whatever you could take from me you did, & stupidly I let you, because I loved you....
I’d wake up hoping one day you’d wake up and realize how much I did for you, for us. The efforts I made, the time I spent,
the smile I forced myself the have everyday. The tears I held back just to feel like I was okay. One day I laid there…..it was dark, my body shook….I lost my breath... I tried and tried to gasp for air, but I couldn’t. I woke up... & I had no more left in me. My eyes went dry. I missed you, I still miss you. But I don’t want you. I can’t be broken anymore…you took any chance of happiness I had. Because of you I won’t ever open up to another person again...no longer will I make my heart loving another feel like an unwanted task... never again will I fall in love with the devil in a beautiful mask....

Sometimes you meet someone, and it’s so clear that the two of you, on some level belong together. As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you understand one another or you’re in love or you’re partners in crime. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive. I don’t know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it DEFINITELY makes me believe in something...

U know I used to love her beyond words..
My mind and heart caressing her curves..
I didn't know the real her, she was disguised as a dove.. But I guess that's what I get for messing with
birds..
But I'm stronger now, After a long search I found a new me, a gift well earned, through the pain I lost myself, but trust, she was a lesson well
learned...
I know I've done my share of dirt, some say I've always ben this huge flirt,
But there's just no way I could have ever caused u this kinda hurt..
I've noticed a few new smiles, the pain is slowly leaving, something good has ended, but something better is now beginning..
You said you'd always be there, No Matter what, & that your love was unconditional, that you'd be there till time came to a end..
But I can't dwell on spilled milk, since I always doubted those statements u made were true, I'm actually seeing the positive, that I'm much better off without you..

By looking at the moon
I knew that i'd lose her soon
Because this is the game I tend to play
The game that'll hopefully end someday

Though I still don't know who you are,
someday I hope you wont see this scar
This mark that says I've been through a lot
Somethings I'm glad that I forgot

You know my rule
So Try to be cool
& Don't get too attached
Cause I can't promise ill catch

So beware that's there's a lot
you don't know
& That I'm a young man still
learning to grow

My heart has been a war zone for sometime
So beware once you enter because there's no telling what exactly you may find

You ever feel like it's too much in your way to succeed, with all this pressure its makin It kinda hard for you to breathe
You dont wanna ask for handouts you wana stand on your own two feet
But you feel like the more problems u overcome the more problems that u meet
Like you barely have enough jus to get what you need & to make it worse, you beefin with the one person you wana see, & now you don't even speak
We know that communication is the key, but we never try to solve our problems we jus agree to disagree
If you decide its time to go, I won't stop you feel free
But I hope the harder I love you the harder it is for you to leave.....

I saw you at the bus stop,
hair flowing with the wind.
sounding like a beautiful song,
a queen without her king.

I said Hello, & you said Hi,
I knew it was love at very first sight.
We just stared into each other's eyes,
& we didn't wanna ever say goodbye.

I fell for you when you laughed at my stupid jokes, this became more than just a little hope. I missed you when we didn't talk on the phone, I knew you were perfect, you had a beautiful soul.

But now you got me writing all these silly little poems,
& in thought of you just forever hoping,
that you miss me too the way that I do u,
because it seems the words "I love you" are no longer true.

Maybe I'll call you, Maybe I won't,
this can't be real, it's just a dream.
It's nothing but a fantasy, Love isn't that easy or what it seems.

What happened to everything I grew to love about you? Your voice used to make my heart drop.. Now I'm starting to regret ever  saying hello to you that day at
the Bus stop..

If my heart could write a letter to my mind,
It would have plenty to say about it's feelings.
Dear brain; you need to use me instead of your eyes,
after all I am the reason that you are breathing.

Dear brain why are you putting me through so much grief,
Making bad choices and decisions that will last.
Why are you so hasty on deciding when to leave,
why don't you take risks and give things another chance?

Dear brain don't my opinions matter in this life,
Everything you do makes me want to stab myself with a knife.
Dear brain are you always going to be thinking,
Instead of hearing my feelings; stop staring and start blinking.

Dear brain we are meant to be partners in this soul,
You aren't the only one who is going to grow old.
I will live the sixty to seventy years alongside with you,
Give my opinions value the deserve it, its the truth.

You may have to think of all these decisions, but I have to feel them!
You tell our body don't chase after her, but I'm the one that feels the separation, you n make decisions but don't deal with the occasions!
You leave me alone in pain to handle the situation..

Dear brain have you ever experience falling in love,
Or feeling it's magic; do you think about what is above?
Dear brain do you acknowledge my existence,
and hear my screams when you hurt me; do you listen?

You are the brain, & I am the heart, I need you and you need me... So let's be a team, we can work together, you see? I can help u think, and u can help me Beat...

I tried hard not to fall for you.
Then, I tried even harder to hide it from you.
I failed miserably.
I forgot how powerful and strong love is.
How it can transform you from a coward to a warrior.
How it makes you feel invincible.
I don’t regret any of it, because I have come to realize that love isn’t something we should hide.
It should be something we are proud about.
Why should we be ashamed of our love?
Love is a beautiful thing when it's done right..

Seventh Grade.
I wrote about a kid..
A troubled kid with memories, memories he did dread.. Of which he seen he grandmother in her deathbed.. He didn't kno he could write, but he did because it was his only Defense in the fight..

Eighth Grade.
My English teacher tried to
“Harness” my talent,
in the raw.. Said in me she seen no flaws..
Never forget that competition I lost to Chris, but this teacher Pushed me into competitions
Of which I had no interest...

Freshman Year..
I got accused of plagiarism. They Didn't believe these were my writings..
After all,
What could I possibly know
About the world's tragedies, poverty, or how the stars were symbolic to my thoughts and tears...
after jus a mere 14 years I've spent living here?
I was told to “stick to something
a 14-year-old could write" because a young man my age knows nothing about how world hunger just isn't right...

Sophomore Year
I wrote about the young girl that had my heart... That is, until she completely ripped it apart..
So I began to change it, grew cold, wrote bout "these hoes" because love was sumthin I just didn't want no mo!

Junior year
I began to mature, so I wrote about life, love things of that nature... Listened in class & found new ways to write, new things like using hyperboles, or changing it up & adding Analogies..

Senior year
I had no fear, at least that's wat they seen. I was focused and my eye was keen..started to learn I didn't have to cry, so I wrote about stages In my life, I learned to say goodbye, bye to the things tht made me cry, held my head high & looked to the skies.. I didn't have to run, I learned I could be Fighter.. I learned by looking bak at the Evolutions of a young writer...

It's like for a brief moment i escape from the pains of This life.. In that moment I feel no pain or strife...

I dont even know where I go, or if I go at all, all I kno is sometimes to get there I must fall..

Some say to make it to paradise you must come up with the ultimate sacrifice.. But wat is it? And how do I caress it?

When I go to this strange place I begin to see, maybe exactly wat paradise means to me...

But after the brief moment is up, and I then wake up, the perfect picture of paradise I can no longer paint.. That strange place I only see when I Faint..

The sky is blue,
and although you might be too,
Jus remember, where there’s clouds,
sunshine will always break through..

"Dear Mama",
Question...
"Is life worth living or should I blast myself"
I'm always searching for those "better days"
knowing that peace in my heart will come In "Thugs Mansion".
Where I can "sip champagne
while I listen to Billy Holliday sing
and sit there kickin it with Malcolm till the day came."

Should I "ride on my enemies"?
Become one of "Amerikas most wanted"?
Or should I remember
that "the road is hard so I'll never give up"?
And "time don't stop, always going by.
So I'll puff on mine, hoping that it will get me high"

Smile for me.
"Won't you smile for me now"?
"It ain't easy" being a changed man
so when it feels like "all eyez on me".
I just remember that
"heaven ain't hard to find".

But I'm Not starving, I been eatin Hardy,...like the night at that "Gangsta Party"....
Certain things happen, I wana be happy so I have to make some arranges... Hopin in my life I have the ability to 1 day make those "Changes"...

From you, there is a light
That shines down upon me…
From you, there is a fire
that burns deep within me...
From you, there is a passion
that feeds deep within me...
From you, there is a hunger
that craves deep within me...
From you, there is a love
that blossoms deep within me...
From you, there is a spirit
that nurtures deep within me...
From you, there is a soul
that loves deep within me...

The depths of you...
have reached the depths of me.

To my future love,
I have been broken more than once & torn to shreds on my road to you..
Because of this, my heart has been forced to rebuild itself & learn to love anew..
And though I’ve seen the darkest nights I could ever imagine,
That they'd  lead me to your arms &  to a light I cannot fathom..
So to my future love, I vow to give u everything that I have,
jus promise me that if I slip up & make a mistake, u won't do like the others & begin to pack your bags....

if i could I would change the world to be a better place
not this troubled one that we have to face
there would be no worries, no selfishness, or greed
& a hungry mouth i would gladly feed
soldiers wouldnt die fighting in a war
i would change it all & we'd live in peace once more
I'd change it all around and make it a place fit to live
if i could change the world, this is wat i would freely give...

if i could I would change the world to be a better place
not this troubled one that we have to face
there would be no worries, no selfishness, or greed
& a hungry mouth i would gladly feed
soldiers wouldnt die fighting in a war
i would change it all & we'd live in peace once more
I'd change it all around and make it a place fit to live
if i could change the world this is wat i would freely give...

I got a question
I wanna ask my grandma, but shes been gone for some years now
I need the answers
I wanna ask my friends, but they're too cool to be honest
&  she's gonna take it the wrong way if I question her
It just might break her heart man
I can't ask my girl...
So ima ask Langston
& ima ask Maya
If I'm in love...
If I'm in love...
My Pen & paper won't lie if I'm in love..
So tell me tell me..
Am I in love?

Every now and then
My heart wanders back in time
and all those old feelings
awaken the memories in my mind

And it’s as if it were only yesterday
that we were in love and making promises
we were sure we would always keep
not knowing life would get the best of us
and lead us down paths separately

I can remember at times all too clearly
how you were my love and my friend
And it’s in those moments
that I miss you dearly
and wish we could begin again

Sometimes, it catches me by surprise
the way my heart will ache
as I recall your voice, your kindness
the smile on your face

And I wonder how life might be
if we were still together
Would we have kept our promises?
Would we be happy?
Would we have made it to forever?

I may never know the answers
to these questions
but I know this much is true:
No matter how much time passes
I will always love you..

A lot of times I feel Lost in the confusion of my mind
Looking for a way out
Held captive by my own fears and insecurities
Caught up in my emotions of love & lust, joy & pain....
A heart filled with rage that seems to grow with age..
Biting my tongue for others because of the fear of being alone
Compromising for everyone else but never getting anything in return
Wondering why life is such a pain, but loving everything about it?  
The ups and downs, the tears and smiles! Praying that someone can love me for me
Regretting all the things that I've done in my past to bring pain to others.... Lost with no way out..
Afraid to take off my mask because of the judgment that lies ahead
Lost in my own confusion..
Can someone help me? Or have I already drowned? I believe the pain is all over, if so, then why on my face is there this constant frown?

For some odd reason
I still wish you a lifetime of love
A Happiness that never ends
With Songs of laughter
Warmth of family, a lover & a friend

I wish you days that are bright as your smile
I wish you someone that will do what it takes, goes that extra mile..
Wish u a life filled with dreams
A world of faith and hope
A permanent smile, no matter how hard times may seem.

I wish you constant peace
And only good days ahead
You'll have a successful career, going 2 work you'll never dread.

I still wish you love & happiness
A lover & friend,
because this u still deserve..
Although u promised you be here for me, all the way till the end...

I wonder often what life would be like if we were still together and as much as I’d die for that, I remember that it’s killed me once and maybe that’s why we can’t be together anymore.. We hurt each other with what we thought was love….
Having a broken heart doesn't make you weak.. It actually shows strength, it's shows that you once went after someone that u really wanted.. Even though u couldn't have it..

Just be you.
You can't let people scare you. You can't go about life trying to please everyone else. You can't go through life worried about what everyone else is going to think. Whether it's your hair, clothes, car, your feelings, what you believe, who you're with or what you have! You can't let the judgement of others stop you from being you. Because of you do, then you're no longer you, you're jus someone who everyone else wants you to be, not who you want to be...

One day, you’ll be driving down the road, windows down, your favorite song blasting, at 3 in the morning 
or 
you’ll be sitting on the beach, watching the sun kiss the horizon, at 7 in the evening,
when you realize how happy you are. That everything in the world is right & you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.
You’ll wonder why you ever thought of giving up on yourself. Don’t give up on your happiness. Tough times come, but they’ll eventually go. Believe in your happiness, believe that it’ll come, even if it doesn’t seem that way... Never lose your faith & never lose sight on love

Sometimes you jus have to constantly remind yourself that it'll all be okay..Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but one day..Remind yourself enough that one day you actually start to believe it! Remind Ya self that things have changed & they've changed for a reason, people change for a reason...jus gotta let go & move on..it'll be hard & at times you'll feel lonely, But God said he'll never leave you nor forsake u... & that's the only friend u truly need...Jus believe that.. When ya fed up jus remember to keep ya head up, besides... Who's to say tomorrow won't be the Best day of your life?

Always living in fear
Afraid that failure is always near
This has left my spirit broken
These are things I've left unspoken.
   I'm feeling all alone
The feeling is worst than what is shown
The fear is really growing
And now the fear is really showing.
   I'm really feeling down
Even if you don't see my frown
Inside I am shaking
Inside I am not faking.
    On the inside I am crying
On the inside there is no lying
I'm afraid of what's to come
I'm afraid because it seems it has already begun.
     Always living in fear
Afraid that failure is always near
This has left my spirit broken
These are things I've left unspoken...

I’m learning to let the past be the past. It’s not healthy to hold on to something or someone that is no longer actively part of your life. A memory can only hold so much value before it needs to be let go. It’s a form of shedding your skin in an effort to allow yourself to move on and not live inside of your memories... memories are beautiful, you look back and see the smiles, the laughs, the hugs, & kisses. But now that they're gone u realize how much of them you're truly missin.
You can run, you can hide, but you can never escape the feeling of those memories deep inside.. so you have to let them go.
I know it's hard, & it'll be tough but you have to let it go, holding onto memories isn't a gain, now that I think of it Im just holding onto that pain...
I can't no longer be a prisoner of the past... I'm free! I've let go...I'm free! I'm no longer in *******....I'm free! But in order to be free, one day you'll have to let go...of all those memories....

Life is jus funny you know... Some days you convince yourself that your world is falling apart and that you’re a wreck and there isn’t a single bone in your body that's good enough for this world & other days you find yourself planning out a future you’re not sure you’ll ever even have...

Love isn’t hard at all.. We make it seem hard. Love is beautiful.. Communicate with your partner and work things out. If he/she realize how life will **** without you then everything will get better. We don’t know what we have till it’s gone sometimes we have to picture that thing gone already (while we still have it) in order to cherish it more...

I remember every feeling you’ve caused me, love, anger, and pain. No one has ever made me feel those things. I thought they would last forever. I didn’t see a fault in making you my everything, because everything I’m not, I thought I saw in you. I loved you, I loved you so much. So much I lost every ounce of my innocence to you; thinking ****** connection meant a promise. I never thought that I was wrong. Before you there was only death my eyes, then one day I felt like home in yours. I wanted you for so long. The worst part is you loved me too. So why did you take apart the goodness of my heart, leaving me feeling so lost and worthless? If this is what love feels like I never want it again. My heart hurts. I’m living with half of myself in the dark. Watching you pass me by is like seeing my heart walk around without me.
& without it, I don’t even know who I am anymore....

When words are said, sometimes I wish I hadn’t said anything at all. when I remain silent I feel like the words could have meant something. Stuck in between saying something or keeping it all in. I’m confused with myself. I need to get my emotions together, to the point where I don’t breakdown at the simple thought of having to do it without you. I don’t even know what makes sense anymore. I don’t know what has me stuck, trying to figure out what is it about you that has me going back and forth or trying to figure out how it felt to not love you. How to cope with a Lost Love..But I know When we have each other, we have everything, & Nothing in this world has ever felt more real to me then that statement. I could look at you and you know that I want to say something but just won’t. You know me better then I kno myself, I'm jus looking for the reason why everything changed and why all of a sudden everything that once mattered just doesn’t anymore. I tend to only write when I am falling in love, or when I'm falling apart.....
and I am already in love with you...

Love
Such a beautiful word.
But it can also be
Destructive,
Deceitful,
Uncontrollable,
Unpredictable,
And scary...
So simple yet, so complex...
I speak bout love so much
So recently I was asked what love means to me...

So Love, to me, means:

Never feeling alone. When you are with them, or when you are apart...

You want to know everything and anything about them. You want to hear their stories and their deepest darkest secrets, and keep them for only you and them to share...

Nothing that pops into your head is not heard by them. They understand. They know you And even if they don't completely understand, it's okay. You know that everything is safe with them. You can confide in them..

To you, they feel like home, your safe place, and an adventure all in one.

You never want them to feel alone or scared, or sad. You wish they could always feel loved..

You want them to always be happy. Whether they're with you, or even with someone else..
Always putting God before each other..
To see them smile.
To watch them feel whole...

That is what love means to me....

I’m a mess of unfinished thoughts. A collection of sentences with no endings. An unwritten story thought out a million times. I swear I’ve written novels inside my head. I am a bundle of theories with no backbone other than my passion and logic of love. Some say that I am a complete & utter mess but honestly, I wouldn’t wana have it any other way...

Sometimes I think & At the end of the day you have already been a part of my life. Forgetting you will be the same as losing a piece of a puzzle. The picture might still be recognizable, but anyone who sees will be able to clearly tell something’s missing...

My desires in a relationship have changed over time. I no longer want someone who promises to always love me and never leave me, I need someone who understands that life happens and sometimes things don’t work out. I don’t want someone who sugar coats things and never gets angry with me, I need someone to tell me how it really is and at times put me in my place. I need to be able to go five hours without talking to you and not feel lost or incomplete. I am still complete without you. But with you, I’ll be so much better. I want to be stronger with you. I want us to grow together and help each other grow individually. I don’t need you, but I really want you, &  this may not work out, but the fact that you understand all of this and that this is how our relationship works, makes me think we’ve got a pretty good shot..

These thoughts had me up... So let me write them a poem about just how perfect love is, but the page stays blank, because I’d rather show you then tell you, my actions been louder than my words even though my words can say a lot. Like jus tell me what keeps you up at night, so I can make you forget about everything for a while until you can get your head straight. Like call me at 4 in the morning when you can’t sleep, because I won’t go back to sleep until you are. show me the person you are when you’re half asleep, let me be the one that you can’t get off your mind at that time and can’t even think straight. teach me about you as I teach you things about love that you never knew. how to love without thinking, without trying. you can’t resist it, your not obsessed, but you need it in your life. U Can't see happiness in your life without someone u love!!! It's IMPOSSIBLE! It's about Seeing someone as a best friend before anything. that’s what makes it lasts. arguing one minute, hang up and call right back. nobody knows except for us, leave the haters confused, leaving everyone wondering what keeps us from falling apart... Have them asking "How do they do it?!" There are NOT many men like me left I kno it, people call me soft, cause I'm in tune with my "sensitive side" I believe that's wat all men need to succeed in keeping a woman happy. Do wat you can, jus show effort, I may can't give u exactly wat u want but I'll give u exactly wat u need. But that's not enough these days huh?
It's about honesty, trust, faithfulness, & loyalty through everything.... EVERYTHING!
It's just knowing without having to say a word, knowing when to hold one another when the times right, when we feel as if everything is just falling apart to reassure them that everything will be okay. to say, we can make it through anything, make a promise & keep it...fighting like everything’s over when we both know it’s not, loving like it could never end. Saying I hate you but I love you in the same sentence. just knowing that you could never leave their side.
Now That’s love to me...
Maybe one day you’ll see..

I thought I stopped loving her... I really thought I did. But realized you never really stop loving your first love, do you? I mean, she’ll always have a piece of my heart, she’ll have it because I was blushing & my heart was stumbling over its feet and I let her have it. I felt the stupid butterflies in my stomach and I let her take them. I let her take it because I mean, she was beautiful and she was everything I wanted. But her stupid smile was a gunshot that wrecked the glass house inside my chest and her voice, a voice I’m starting to finally forget & I’m scared because I don’t want to forget, I don’t, but it was a painkiller that only worked halfway and left the rest of the pain to rot away. Her voice was a song that made me feel like everything will be alright someday. Her voice is a song that I want to memorize again and god, a song so fine & I just want to hear it one more time..

How am I supposed to trust people
How could I ever learn to believe words again
Saying "I promise" is so easy
But it means nothing
It's so easy to lie about feelings
It's best not to trust anyone
You won't be disappointed
When their "I promise"
Turns to "Goodbye"
It will happen
It's inevitable

The person who broke your heart, can never be the person who will fix it..... stop looking for happiness in the same place that made you sad... stop looking to be fixed by the same people that broke you.

I know you feel as if there is no point, you’ve ended up alone again. You should remember that what you felt was real. You felt something extraordinary for someone else. That proves that you are capable of feeling that again. Don’t deny yourself chances to meet new people, to try new things.. Stop allowing pain from your past to hold you back from being happy in the future! Move on to find new happiness after that sadness.
Don cry because it's over.. SMILE because it happened..

Someday someones going to make you forget everything that hurt you in the past... Forget every race where you ended up last..
Someday someone's going to take you away from your thoughts, the ones that destroy your mind.
Someday, someone will make you feel like you're truly one of a kind.. Someday, someone's going to save me
Although I still wish that someone would be you, I know that you'll never have a clue...
You always knew that someday i'd be ok, that I would find that someone for my "someday" this you always knew was true...
You just failed to see that that someone was you...

You use this word to acknowledge that you’ve hurt someone and expect them to accept it right away. As if a combination of five letters were enough to pacify the raging storms that want to break free.
You use this word as a band aid. You expect that once it’s said and done everything will be fine. Everything will be okay. As if a little band aid was enough to heal the excruciating pain inside. I think you should remember that a band aid is not enough for a fatal wound.
You use this word as an eraser. Hoping that everything will go back to the way it was. Like your wrong doing would just vanish and clean your slate.
Worst of all? You always expect me to forgive you and get disappointed at me when I couldn’t.. even though I try
How selfish of you to stab me in the back & get mad at me for bleeding...

Truth be told
don’t need you
I can still smile without you
I will still live and I can still breathe
I don’t need you so that I can be me
  I can stand on my own
I can make my own way
I don’t need you to hold my hand
Jus to get me through the day
  I can still climb mountains
without you there to push me through
I can make it, I can do it,
Even without you there's still much I can do
  I will lose no sleep thinking of the promises you could not keep.  
Clearly loving unconditional is something you can not do.
But it's ok no worries, because I'm still me without you!

You Meet someone, you two become friends, then you begin to grow close to each other.. & for awhile things are great, & then someone stops trying, you talk less, conversations grow awkward, and then there's that infamous drifting...Now No communication whatsoever, then memories begin to fade. Then that person that you KNOW soon becomes the person that you KNEW. That's how it always goes...Sad..isn't it...?

I don’t write poetry.
But your name rhymes with sky
and it rolls in my mouth.
I don’t write poetry.
But I still feel your hand on my hand
as if your thumbs left indents.
I don’t write poetry.
But our hips brushed at the stoplight
and I couldn’t say Go.
I don’t write poetry.
But the names of those men
sound all wrong in your throat.
I don’t write poetry.
But you hugged me too long
and I never wanted to leave.
I don’t write poetry.
Because when I mumble the words, I like you,
The words can never do justice for what I really feel.

Do you see the real me?
Or just the mask everyone else sees?
I tell you my hopes and my dreams.
But are you truly listening?
Or are you just sitting there?
I speak the truth to you and nothing else.
But I feel like you just hear lies.
I give you the key to me,
But you don't care.
You just toss it away.
Did you ever see beneath my looks.
To the person within.
Or did my "cuteness" blind you from seeing..?
Seeing that I have emotions.
And have more potential then you could ever guess.
I'm a mystery wrapped in a puzzle, hidden behind wall after wall.
I tried to let you in though,
Show you the way,
to see the real me, the person I truly am.
And not the fake one everyone thinks is me.
But before you got there.
You gave up, on me, on us, on all we had.
Now you're back with the rest of them.
Only seeing my facade.
I just wished that you could see.
The true me, the one I wanted you to see...
Too bad I guess,
If only she were able to see how much she really meant to me...