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Tim Amaru Feb 2018
Crazy how in life when love comes along you don’t think about all that’s at stake.. & when it doesn’t work out it crushes you...but that doesn’t mean it was a mistake. It wasn’t a mistake, that collision between us.. 
How you came into my life and I made more room for you than necessary. More room than you could ever really take up.. 
My mom sold me on that idea that this is how it was supposed to happen, that there will come a time where things will begin to make sense. Things will begin to come together in an effort to manifest something more beautiful than you could ever truly imagine.. 
five weeks after it ended, I instilled belief in the idea that after all, this is how it was supposed to happen.. 
We were supposed to intertwine our lives in the only way we knew how.. 
All those phone calls, the late night text message threads in which I first mentioned a future in which we’d end up together...forever.... we also spoke about the 
the fallout...
How you had a new dude in your bed the same night you broke my heart... 
How I cried all the way home that night and began to move my feet towards the door, 
and how eventually in time, I grew strong enough to leave you..
Last night at the dinner table, I came to the realization that this is how it was supposed to happen... You served your purpose, you opened up my heart, you gave me enough to grow hopeful once again, and then, you were on your way.. & now it has begun to make sense... so this is to say thank you. 
thank you for arriving at the time you did and for leaving when you were supposed to. 
For not dragging out your stay.
For not ruining all the good you brought out of me.. 
For leaving me while my love was still good..
I thank you for being who u truly are, for not hiding it behind a disguise...
But most importantly I thank you for showing me the GOOD in GOODbye..
Tim Amaru Feb 2018
The person who broke your heart, can never be the person who will fix it..... stop looking for happiness in the same place that made you sad... stop looking to be fixed by the same people that broke you.
Tim Amaru Feb 2018
You use this word to acknowledge that you’ve hurt someone and expect them to accept it right away. As if a combination of five letters were enough to pacify the raging storms that want to break free.
You use this word as a band aid. You expect that once it’s said and done everything will be fine. Everything will be okay. As if a little band aid was enough to heal the excruciating pain inside. I think you should remember that a band aid is not enough for a fatal wound.
You use this word as an eraser. Hoping that everything will go back to the way it was. Like your wrong doing would just vanish and clean your slate.
Worst of all? You always expect me to forgive you and get disappointed at me when I couldn’t.. even though I try
How selfish of you to stab me in the back & get mad at me for bleeding...
Tim Amaru Feb 2018
A Beautiful Mask

I remember when you changed... I remember because my gut was ting was wrong. I remember because our conversations changed, they got shorter & less often.. you became cruel and cold. You started to ignore me instead of listen. You left me alone in the dark & I couldn’t find my way out, I called out for you! I waited and waited for you, but you weren’t there. Then finally days later you came, only when you wanted my attention, when you wanted something from me, when it was ideal for you. You never told me why you left me in the dark. What I did to deserve it…..every time I thought I could see a little hint of light, it vanished. I felt sick, my body was cold. I couldn’t breathe. Then you came back…I was happy. I let you come back because I was in love, you were my everything. I tried and tried but it was never enough. You broke me, you took everything in me and ripped it out. You spit on my soul and on my heart... I believed all ya bs, your half truths, your fake love. I believed I deserved an angel, I thought I had a beautiful angel.. But turns out I was dancing with the devil in a beautiful mask. But foolishly I didn’t care. I loved her, or maybe I loved the mask. No matter what I was going to love you despite a broken heart, losing my breath and feeling my self slowly fade away. I did love you. & you destroyed me…because you were selfish, you gave nothing but always wanted more more more. Whatever you could take from me you did, & stupidly I let you, because I loved you....
I’d wake up hoping one day you’d wake up and realize how much I did for you, for us. The efforts I made, the time I spent,
the smile I forced myself the have everyday. The tears I held back just to feel like I was okay. One day I laid there… was dark, my body shook….I lost my breath... I tried and tried to gasp for air, but I couldn’t. I woke up... & I had no more left in me. My eyes went dry. I missed you, I still miss you. But I don’t want you. I can’t be broken anymore…you took any chance of happiness I had. Because of you I won’t ever open up to another person longer will I make my heart loving another feel like an unwanted task... never again will I fall in love with the devil in a beautiful mask....
Tim Amaru Jan 2018
They say time heals all, but will it heal my broken heart?
I gave you everything you needed, I cherished you, you never felt mistreated they say time heals all, I guess I’ll wait for it to start
I was stuck on Cupid and Cupid you made me stupid, how could you do this me I’m bout to lose it, you cheated me after I treated you like a queen I’m about to blow up everything
They say that every man is a dog & a cheater, but each and every man ain’t me.
Cause I know I was faithful to you, genuine & true, I guess I learned my lesson, women break hearts too......
Tim Amaru Jan 2018
My desires in a relationship have changed over time. I no longer want someone who promises to always love me and never leave me, I need someone who understands that life happens and sometimes things don’t work out. I don’t want someone who sugar coats things and never gets angry with me, I need someone to tell me how it really is and at times put me in my place. I need to be able to go five hours without talking to you and not feel lost or incomplete. I am still complete without you. But with you, I’ll be so much better. I want to be stronger with you. I want us to grow together and help each other grow individually. I don’t need you, but I really want you, &  this may not work out, but the fact that you understand all of this and that this is how our relationship works, makes me think we’ve got a pretty good shot..
Tim Amaru Jan 2016
Sometimes I think & At the end of the day you have already been a part of my life. Forgetting you will be the same as losing a piece of a puzzle. The picture might still be recognizable, but anyone who sees will be able to clearly tell something’s missing...
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