I heard a story about you once
Flooding out of someone at else's mouth
About all kinds of details I've never notice before
And it made me question the you I thought I saw
They brought up secrets they thought you were hiding
And if they weren't so convincing I'd think they were lying

free from the feathers
wet and hanging
from my shoulders
as if the roof melted and dripped down my arms
it became the floor and exposed the air
and suddenly
I could fly into the air
if only my feet wasn't stuck to the ground
in meters of wet gooey melted ceiling water

she's just a baby regardless of the years
squeezed up next to him they cut the silence with beers
they drink to things she doesn't understand
innocent to the fact that he has bigger plans

Guilty pleasures
We're soaked into the couch like stains of peach cider
So when you stayed
We could blame it on the alcohol and they'd be none the wiser

If the sun screamed at me
I'd remind her that she only rules half my day
The other half is owned by a dark cold entity
That opposes her in every way...

I woke up with an overwhelming sadness in my chest
and didn't understand why my heart felt things that my mind couldn't understand
Through night it grew somber
And shared it's sorrow with me  early this morning

I fear it might be unhappy living in such a constricting chest
I sympathize
With my troublesome heart
As I lay stuck in between heavy sheets
And wonder why it chooses to feel independently from my weak body that needs it so much

What could I have done for it?
It was always too big for me
Following tunnels that either ran way too deep underground or flew among the clouds that circled the mountain tops
What could I have done to make it any more happier?
All I have is my experience of what the ground feels like

These days I feel the honesty well up inside of me
as if its time to start facing the reality facing side of the valley
and let the sun burn the skin off my cheeks
to reveal the lies I carry beneath...

I would embrace myself, but arms are far and few
And though the brisk air of solitude is thick enough to be considered company
I still look out the wondow to see if anyone else is coming
Surely there is a reason for my solidarity, that crept up on me like an armed robber in the dead of night
When one is alone you find yourself is what I've been told
But all I've found was myself crying in the frame of this window for a face to greet and hand to hold

Happiness is a state of mind
In my weakness I've always seen it as a finite resources
Light in the distance
Before the light switches  off again
Its possible that it sub-lets only a small apartment in my entire body that is pleagued with damp sadness
In my happiness
I sit and wait passively for the season to pass
These flowers grow in vein
And will mature and wilt again
These crisp leaves will wrinkle and flutter to the ground
Before the next season comes around
When I'm standing under the spotlight of my happiness
Looking out into the darkness that surrounds
The silent black sheets seems infinite and everlasting
And I know the future will teach me what exists there
As happiness is all but passing

While I put anger aside
And try my best to be kind
Say something nice whether true or fake
But though the world would be fine
On just love and sunshine
Sometimes all you can do is hate

First I cried
Then I laughed

Love is wild
True love don't mean it'll survive
You can steal a million hearts with eyes
And say good bye every time
Its no crime
To lend a smile for a night
And be gone with the light

He was a man
He was much bigger than me
His heart bigger than his chest and it towered over me

He is older
And wiser
I am innocent
Not naive
His hands hold secretes and scars and hammers
Mine just holds his

Around the moon and slightly ajar
A man sat down his eyes to the stars
A wish he made on a star he gazed
That tomorrow he'll get to see her again

What should I say
when you say nothing
and give me no content on which to build my argument?
I guess I'll just breath in your nothingness
I guess I'll just chew up the silence
I guess I'll just stand here looking at you
Swallowing deep
Barely blinking
Loving every word that you say...

Hands are scarred
Of touching things they shouldn't
Creeping along surfaces that aren't smooth
Chipped finger nails scratch at stone structures
until they are just nail beds
Palms are rock solid
Like the great wall they're trying to intercept
Like elephant skin
Or just plain rocks
They never dig too deep
The surfaces are too thick
Built to keep out curious fingertips
Constructed to be where no one goes
I'll search them
to reach the chewy center
And won't stop until I'm blowing bubbles

How is it that you found me?
I was so well hidden under the sheets
My heart’s beat was so far and faint
That it barely echoed through time and space
Yet through the winds that blew off my skin and behind the curtains that hung over me
You found me

Hand to hand
And chest to chest
You found me

Without a map
Or GPS
You found me

Call it fait
Or call it blessed
Through the rain
And all the rest
You found me…

Stuck in the vortex
Of thinking you know everything
But knowing nothing
Guess we're all Hipsters?

I don't wanna wild
And I don't free
I don't wanna be swept away
By the wind you see
Take me out of the hurricane
Cause it's lingering
I don't wanna be lost in the moment



I just wanna be his

I live in a comic book covention of my own hatred
Being reflected back on to me as we rub shoulders
"Welcome, enjoy the view, the coffee is blunt and the biscuits point fingers
But hey, at least you'll always have company"

She beams on me
I thought the heavans had opened
Touches my skin
And burned me smooth and golden
For crying out loud
Her hands are molten
I'm pulled into her orbit
But this air is potent
My body is whipped from spinning in this motion
I could drown in all of her
My feet's already soaking
And consume the lot of her
Until I'm bloated
And to relieve the pain
They need to split me open
To reveal that she filled me
To the extent that I've been hoping

I live between your heart and mine
And am not inclined to either side

I felt his shoulder under my head
And suddenly I didn't need a floor under my feet to feel a stable foundation

I really like you but it's hard enough being a fool for you
To be uncomfortable with every single thought of you
You wear that frown upon your face
I hope behind it hides your grace or something beautiful
If you've got scars in hidden places
Although its charred,  I won't be wasting something beautiful
But can heaven not see you're good?
Can heaven not lend a hand?
Can heaven not open its gates for him?
Help me understand
How a man
Can feel like this?

My loneliness is dark green
And crawls up in spirals around me
Is feels of wetness and moss and other fermented things
And drips back down in puddles at my feet
Its damp and cold and sharp and real
Thats my loneliness
But how does your loneliness feel?

My emotions are troubling
They have me kicking my bucket list
They have me posting an arrest because there were signs of struggling
I swear one more morning of this icy grey weather
Will have me peeling off my eyelids and wearing them as leather
But just before my tragic fall I'll plot out an agenda
Set up a plastic table with my cell phone in the center
And start drafting out a list of all the things that I'd do better

I'd stumble to the garden and put up a black tent
Call it an apartment and start charging people rent
Between reality and insanity, I'm sitting comfortably on the fence
Though my garden tent would only get garden rats as tenants

I'd open up a business bank account and only save up twenty five cents
Blow it all on my garden rats and starting pretending that we're friends
Pretend the rodents were Pokémon and are the newest trend
But man I'd be lying if I say that I'd pretend

Second on the list I'd give up clothing in general
Stop doing the laundry and hang myself in the pegholds
Start lazing around Saturdays in the jammies I was born in
I'd be a lonely conversationalist
But I bet the neighbors would be talking

Thirdly on this sturdy list of packaged up fantasies
I'd take this heart to the bakery and have a cake made of half of it
Sell myself at a bake sale with biscuits and poppy seeds
Decorate my face with chocolate and cherries and margarine
To top myself off I'll throw in coffee at half price
But only because the rats are starving and ate from the cake thrice

Forthly, I dont think I'll write a list before the end of my life
Besides I have an ichy head and think I might die of lice
So as karma comes around I'll take her sound advice
Before I die I'll act real nice so I don't become a poltergeist

Not everyone in the world
Wants to be like you
Or share your opinion
No matter how much you think that your are the ultimate being

It smells of flesh
A smell so fresh
So full of vest
It could rip best to shreds
That potency of want
To want so much that you would hunt
Passion driven ambition
Taken to head and turned to ammunition

Please excuse the mess
I don't clean up often
I let my thoughts lay around like stockings
Create piles of memories in corners and pockets
Until everything I look for is  lost and
I'll still toss in some more reasons through the seasons of dropping
Little bits and drips of emotions and mocking
Every and any lover who tries to stop me
From building up a wall of unexamined issues and problems
That follows me from place to place as angry as an angry mob could
So as you can tell
I don't have time to mop a tile or pack a shelf
And still, make a bed and be a friend as well

I don'r care
I wonder if I ever did
The wonderwall of my worries
perished in the the wake of new thought
When my mind matured and ears stopped listening
beating hearts that beat chests to pieces
Stare from far distances
At the silhouette of the crumbing person
I became with new breaths of stale air
Welcome to the desert  of forgetting
And remembering what was to be forgotten
Welcome to loops of sanity and insanity
merging together
crashing and swirling through each other
it was never art
I was never an artist
It was just what it was
And the Earth will continue to turn
The wind will continue to blow sand off the ground
And feet will continue to walk to furthers point of no return
Until the sun warms cold faces again
And again they looks towards each other
Smiling maybe
Tearing up most probably
As the morning rears to an end
They too will welcome me

Its his fear that something beautiful will happen
And he would be doomed to serve it
Its her fear that something beautiful will happen
With someone who doesn't deserve it
If not for fear, then for the beauty of it all, we run
We until the sun light runs out
Then we run in the cold until the golden embers of morning pierces us deep into our chests
Still then, we try to find a way out, a way against, a way away from the passions that will undoubtedly cause us our greatest pleasures and our greatest fall

Death overcame him
How could it not?
Death is, after all, the final say
Of all the things that could have been said
Of all the people that could have said them
Death spoke last
And I couldn't argue with it
Because there was nothing left to say

whether in mind
or in town
right side up
or upside down

I love you

You are the problem
But you're thinking you're the solution
You confident in your confusion
You're the ghost and the illusion
Of something that should be saving us
But you've opened the grave for us
You're not the event
You are the circumstance
You become clearer in the second glance
But your true shape is in the shadow you cast
It defaced you in the looking glass
You are problem not the solution
Not the air, you're the pollution
You don't deserve a fair inclusion
My thoughts in my conclusion
Is that its not fair you get to move on

Him
That breath of air that tickles my nose
So strong and pungent, so clear and so cold
There in the lace of my lungs
He hung like a picture frame that captured my love
Woven in and out and north and south
That it skipped through my veins and out my mouth
He
Is concentrated and thick, colorless and vivid
And struck my eyes so harshly my eyelids shivered
And loudly and clearly like a baby delivered
He spoke into my neck and and all I could hear
I love I love I love
My dear

I'm not the me who can be with the she I believe
I'm not the she that can belong to the he either it seems
If I be the me that I desire to see me complete
then the crease in my sheets will never come out or be clean
and the mirror that reflects the her will  never have sheen
so the me that I need will never be seen
not by the them or the they or the eyes that they keep
and the she that I seek will be covered from these
and the hurt it would cause will become her disease
so I'll keep the me I maybe could be
in the silence and chambers of my secretes and dreams

Last night, I dreamt
And crept into a passage way in my mind
Where things aren't quite actual
Or neat and passive and linear
In a cold sweat I realised
Dreams are faint little things
That plow you over
By arranging your thoughts in a clownish manner
What once was a sound man
Is a  strange one at night
In a place only he will ever visit
In his bed and in his mind
What scared me the most
When my eyes were closed
Is not the insanity that slowly arose
Its the tiny remnants of reality that was interwoven in between
The wacky wonders that float around in me
Pieces of truth
The dreamer would argue
Trying to explain themselves the best way they knew how to
And drips out in dots of odd shades
That leaves you in foggy wonderment for hours and days
Whatever it was
Its between my bed sheets and me
When I woke up I found it there
Just lingering

A familiar noise beating in my chest
Sends me laying flat down on the floor counting the cracks in the ceiling
I feel comfort here
wedged between the open air above me
And the solid floor beneath
This is where I've always lived

The window is open
Letting in all the specks and dust from the street
They settle on the floor and wiggles their way in between the floor boards
Mother won't be happy to find that there is more sweeping to be done
More wiping off of table tops
More time spent keeping this place looking intouched and un lived in
Where is she now?
Is she in the garden ripping weeds out from in between the sunflowers?
Did she need to take some more washing down from the line in the yard?
Or is she chatting to Mrs Brown next door about all the things the children need for the new semester?
Will it surprise her that there is more work to be done?
Or has she grown accustomed to finding that there is more for her to keep under her thumb?
Her mind knows where everything thing is and should be
Her hands know where they are needed
Her eyes has see everyones troubles and searched for the proper solution for each
But, where is mother now?
Where is mother?

My favorite song
Reminds me of you
My rhythms gone
In every single tune
My visions lost
And every colour's blue
I can't do
The things that I usually do
Its all consumed
By you

I held a caramelized dream in my hands
Dripping down my arms and soaking my sleeves in sticky juice
Rich golden syrup that drip drip dripped onto my toes
Too sweet to eat
These dreams are bad for you
I held on to it like school books and riches
I held it out before me
As it caught the sterling sun
Glistening hopes
So beautiful
So messy
Ever melting
Ever dripping
Leaking through my fingers
Falling from my palms
Fading from my sight

Quiet down my dear heart
And let your silence call him into your chambers

Now that I've lost sleep
And the opacity of the world is decreasing rapidly
I'll slip into a state of luma-scale
And with graceless hurdles
Create a senseless hullabaloo
Behind the paper screens of reality
As just a silhouette
In mockery
In between Somber strokes
Inside the lips of joy
This is where poetry lives

Put your
Hands up its a stick up
And I'll pull a trigger if you don't let me take the week off
Its my birthday and I'm so ******* sick of
All your **** so I'll lock down and blow your **** off
Put your
Hands up its a stick up
And I pray that this is the way its supposed to be love
Cause if I go ahead and pull this tigger
We might lose everything that you and me was
So I
Show off and blow off
All that steam I have boiling in my colon
I am me, so why the hell would I be somone
Else you think that I will live doubt but
All my wounds are filled with cigarettes and alcohol
So yes indeed
I feel that this little blow up
Is owed to me for eating all of yoyr **** up
So do me favor
***** your behavior
I'm no saviour
I'm here to make you
Put your
Hands up
Its a stick up...

I've made my heart into a well
And filled it with all kinds of hell
I've locked inside
The nights I've cried
Until it dried and became a shell

You like pineapple, you told me when we were eleven
The girl you dated last thought you liked watermelon
But I know you better, I've known you since we were four
But I'm not the girl you pretended to like melons for

I wonder of Im remembered
And whose doing the remembering
Do they see a person I know
When I pop into their minds eye
Or is a version of of me of their own design
I guess thats not for me to decide
But I do wonder from time ot time
If I hold a place in another person's mind

The sky looks wider from inside a box
Said the seeds from amongst the rocks
And boys in school shorts before they're lose
Now remember those days from from their past

Rest your eyes
and let go of tonight
I'll still be loving you in the morning