Find home within yourself
don't rely on someone else to be the only place where you lay your head at night, the only place where self restoration occurs, the only place you can heal

because I guarantee 100% they will let you down
because they are human
we are made of around 50- 70% water
we are bound to drown some stuff

You blew dust in eyes so I couldn't see what I was doing
the mistakes I was making
you were pulling the strings and my movements correlated
I was following the choreography you scripted
I didn't realise the life I wasn't living
until you let go of those strings and I collapsed
I was the puppet you were puppeteering

vulnerability is a disease I wish not to catch
that is why I shy away from telling you how I feel

He strung together the most shimmery stars like constellations
and hung them around my neck
as a reminder that
I will always be the brightest star in his sky
my ubiquity luminous enough to find him when he is lost in the dark

we were from the start a sunken ship far greater than the titanic

If you listen carefully to the way my heart beats for you
it will tell you all my secrets
but you seem to  never have your earphones in when the beat drops

The ammunition you kept exuding from your mouth
only needed the spark from the words I breathed to inflame the anger in you
then you showed me your destructive colours
and we sat together in the building we burnt down together and blew ashes off one another

I was afraid to wake up
just in case my heart gave out
when I realised the angels saved you before I could

is it possible to heal wounds that have been reopened many times ?
I think so yet those types of wounds tend to leave the deepest marks

There were millions of words you could have used
but you chose the ones that acted as a dagger and penetrated my back

I don't have pretty hair
my attitude stinks
I stammer and sometimes my words come out backwards
I'm not always going to smile, I can promise you that
I push people away and have a hard time letting them back in
I will never be easy to love
Will you still hold my hand ?

I am no author but I am the director of my life's screen play

I've given myself more bruises
than any fall could have

goodbyes are easier when they are unspoken
but those are the ones that suffocate you the most

I still stare outside the window like a puppy waiting for its owner
for my former self to come home

Have you ever noticed the patterns on the brain resemble a maze
once you try to delve too deep into someone's temporal lobe you can easily be led astray,
misled if you wonder too far up an unfamiliar path
sometimes it's not worth trying to understand their amygdala
but often sometimes you meander hopefully and eventually get past the labyrinth which is their emotions
encountering a true understanding of an individual in the core of the maze
this I desire more than riches

I'm shutting the blinds
because it's the end of this theatrical
I'm drawing the curtains because this is your final act
and I shall not applaud for an encore

It's funny how life slaps you in the face and force feeds you unwanted experiences

you can call me crazy for believing in love
believing in the chance of there being someone
whose heart is synchronised to yours

Don't leave your "I love you" until your tears fertilise the ground that carries their vessel.

you are the apparition that finds me in my nightmares once in a while
I wake up and I'm scared because I know it wasn't my mind being
over active
that you actually hurt me against my will
and I couldn't do anything about it
I couldn't even cry myself to sleep
cause even crying was too much of a comfort

so I plastered a face that wasn't my own
a face with no emotion
to hide how broken I was
that façade I still uphold today
even though your thousands of miles away
your imprinted into my forever memories