he thinks i am confusing and complicated. someone he can stare at for hours but someone he's afraid to open up his heart to.

if only he knew how much i love simple things; like the pure beauty of kindness and affection that feeds my soul; like handwritten letters and frank sinatra songs that mesmerizes me; like jazz and the sound of the rain that calms my mind.

if only he knew, i just want to be loved—faithfully, unconditionally and truly. no secrets, no lies. nothing in between.

if only he knew, like scenery and arts, i'll love him as long as i can.

love isn't something you have to ask from someone.

sorrowful chapters are necessary
let me protect the situation
it wasn't the stabs that cut deeply
no one speaks about it; what a shame.

words haven't spilled yet
your silence is loud and clear.

i want to hear
your voice
when i'm alone
at night past two;

i want to ask
too many questions
but you don't
want me to;

i want to know
if she's still the one
but i already
figured out the truth.

functioning
is hard
when people
who once adored you,
now distance themselves
from you.

how deep do we still need to dig?
for these wounds to heal or disappear
i understand what you've been through
but if you still love her, don't make me a fool

does her face
still flashes
when you close
your eyes?

does her name
still put a smile
on your lips
despite every lie?

do you only remember
my name when you're
drunk and tired?
—when you can't call her "mine".

i beg for your
forgiveness—

at times
that i am distant
for sadness is a fear
i face with vulnerable eyes.

at times
that my silence
seems anger to you
when i'm finding the light.

at times
that i won't let you
see the tears
behind every white lie.

i will come back,
i always do;
but for now,
i beg for your
forgiveness.

paradise
is wherever
you are,
love.

something i've learned—
nothing is coincidence.
no one is born by accident.

it is only a matter of time;
for the years we asked why
and for the times we stayed up all night

your storms—
something my eyes
is willing to see

stumbling upon the branches
wings has been cut
skin has turned into blush

distressed
still her heart
says yes

he’s drunk in love
knocks on her door
when it falls apart

how come i perceive?
her feverish face
while his tongue flicks;
the truth and secrets—

her kisses, her touch, her;
i can tell everything is a necessity
how you move your body enticingly

everything is nothing to you
she kisses you because it's true—
you’re everything to her while you
only loved the moon.

there is a fine line between being kind and being naive that people often mistakenly thinks they are the same but let me tell you something—being kind is treating someone with your utmost respect while being naive, well, it's the same as being kind; only you will forget to put yourself first.

between these dried leaves
in the middle of a forest
we create monsters inside us
as waterfalls overflows

i’ve built so many walls around my heart that i willingly break for you.

the hardest part
is not being able
to talk about it

rose petals run my mind back then
now it's all about silver blades
that draws a long line on my wrist

people only start caring when you're deadly skinny.

you made me
feel like i'm a trash;
you're the reason why
i don't trust myself that much

i'll be good,
i'll be fine.

everything's going to be
good and fine.

that's my mantra starting today.

stay pretty and silly
be like your mommy
who has been there
ever since you were a baby

don't be like your daddy
his behavior is a bit aggresive
he likes to throw things
and he's always drunk and lonely

stay pretty and silly

i guess
i love you
is the hardest thing
to say

we've forgotten
loud voices and
unkind words
can break a heart

we cry because of pain
not because we beg
for sympathy

so much to say,
but don't know how.

do you mind
if i
tuck you in this heart
don't you know it's falling apart?
just for tonight

do you mind
if i
kiss you in the dark
i have too many quotations mark
in my mind

so do you mind?

his sun kissed face buried in my neck
as he whisper words going through my head
he feels so cold between the sheets of this bed

cheap thrills, blue pills, wounds that can't heal
red lips against my skin, giving me chills
but i love him too much for me to keep him

i don't know how to fix this anymore.
should i let go of myself now?

they noticed everyone else's pain but not mine.

tell the world she's the girl who looks happy
and the girl who is secretly lonely

you look through the beauty inside
you look through the beauty outside
but you don't know the beauty of pain

we were the dark side
of the clouds whispering
to the sun how to stay bright

we're alive but
our souls are
rotting in hell

to live or to die is not my wish
to get what i deserve is what i need
i'm scared of the dark and i ask myself why
reality is dark and hell is bright