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"uncombed" poems
Who Am I? Well, I must be that ****** the one in the black hoodie ***** sweatpants and an uncombed eye, that's always wooly scratchy, bloodshot with searching for my stash spot, that ****** in your peripherals that you keep your eye on because he's not in a polo looking nice, talking "well-spoken" and not a threat to your beautiful lily-white daughter. Because I grew up fixing myself ramen noodles and lifting the welcome mat after school, I must also be that ****** whose father wasn't in the same house until he was age 13, and when I tell you that, you weren't expecting it because "you're not a racist." but you weren't surprised. You see, I must be that ****** a stand-in for all other ******* I must be that ****** who represents all ******* not because you are racist, but because I'm the only ****** you've met who doesn't talk like dis, y'know whatmsayin, and i talk like this, do you know what I'm saying? I must be that ****** In order for you to feel okay being around me I must be that ****** who goes to college does the right thing the white thing and gets a job a nice little house, a nice black wife with a nice new england clear dialect, (what I was trying to get at earlier is that ****** dialects, by their mere intonation, denote stupidity, right?) and doesn't say a word when his white friends make ****** jokes or talk in a ****** dialect mocking some Aunt Jemima they heard at Walmart. But, I also must be that ****** who doesn't step out of line and say "WHY IS IT THAT IN EVERY SINGLE ENGLISH CLASS WE READ ONLY TWO BLACK AUTHORS A SEMESTER, AND THAT'S ENOUGH, JUST ENOUGH TO KEEP THE ****** PARENTS HAPPY." And If I happen to be a ****** I, by all means, must not be that ****** who had a white girlfriend, and this girlfriend after dating a ****** tried to date a white guy she liked, and when she told him that she had dated, loved, and yes, ****** a ****** he had said back: "I can't believe you ****** a ****** Then again, I must be that ****** with the big swinging **** able to destroy a white girl's ****** with its pulverizing power. And, please, If I am going to be a ****** don't be the one who writes a poem about having to be that ****** because those kinds of ******* are being over-sensitive, those dashiki-wearing-motherfuckers who think "Da white man dis." and "Da white man dat." Because I am not one of those ******* descended from the first people on earth, your brother, not in the ****** way, but the familial, species way. Why am I even writing this, ****** isn't a main operative word anymore. Search and find ****** and replace with "Black Guy." That way it becomes a joke.
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Nov 30, 2011
Nov 30, 2011 at 7:22 AM UTC
That ******
Who Am I? Well, I must be that ****** the one in the black hoodie ***** sweatpants and an uncombed eye, that's always wooly scratchy, bloodshot with searching for my stash spot, that ****** in your peripherals that you keep your eye on because he's not in a polo looking nice, talking "well-spoken" and not a threat to your beautiful lily-white daughter. Because I grew up fixing myself ramen noodles and lifting the welcome mat after school, I must also be that ****** whose father wasn't in the same house until he was age 13, and when I tell you that, you weren't expecting it because "you're not a racist." but you weren't surprised. You see, I must be that ****** a stand-in for all other ******* I must be that ****** who represents all ******* not because you are racist, but because I'm the only ****** you've met who doesn't talk like dis, y'know whatmsayin, and i talk like this, do you know what I'm saying? I must be that ****** In order for you to feel okay being around me I must be that ****** who goes to college does the right thing the white thing and gets a job a nice little house, a nice black wife with a nice new england clear dialect, (what I was trying to get at earlier is that ****** dialects, by their mere intonation, denote stupidity, right?) and doesn't say a word when his white friends make ****** jokes or talk in a ****** dialect mocking some Aunt Jemima they heard at Walmart. But, I also must be that ****** who doesn't step out of line and say "WHY IS IT THAT IN EVERY SINGLE ENGLISH CLASS WE READ ONLY TWO BLACK AUTHORS A SEMESTER, AND THAT'S ENOUGH, JUST ENOUGH TO KEEP THE ****** PARENTS HAPPY." And If I happen to be a ****** I, by all means, must not be that ****** who had a white girlfriend, and this girlfriend after dating a ****** tried to date a white guy she liked, and when she told him that she had dated, loved, and yes, ****** a ****** he had said back: "I can't believe you ****** a ****** Then again, I must be that ****** with the big swinging **** able to destroy a white girl's ****** with its pulverizing power. And, please, If I am going to be a ****** don't be the one who writes a poem about having to be that ****** because those kinds of ******* are being over-sensitive, those dashiki-wearing-motherfuckers who think "Da white man dis." and "Da white man dat." Because I am not one of those ******* descended from the first people on earth, your brother, not in the ****** way, but the familial, species way. Why am I even writing this, ****** isn't a main operative word anymore. Search and find ****** and replace with "Black Guy." That way it becomes a joke.
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164
Macavity’s a Mystery Cat: he’s called the Hidden Paw— For he’s the master criminal who can defy the Law. He’s the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad’s despair: For when they reach the scene of crime—Macavity’s not there! Macavity, Macavity, there’s no on like Macavity, He’s broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity. His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare, And when you reach the scene of crime—Macavity’s not there! You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air— But I tell you once and once again, Macavity’s not there! Macavity’s a ginger cat, he’s very tall and thin; You would know him if you saw him, for his eyes are sunken in. His brow is deeply lined with thought, his head is highly doomed; His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed. He sways his head from side to side, with movements like a snake; And when you think he’s half asleep, he’s always wide awake. Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity, For he’s a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity. You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square— But when a crime’s discovered, then Macavity’s not there! He’s outwardly respectable. (They say he cheats at cards.) And his footprints are not found in any file of Scotland Yard’s. And when the larder’s looted, or the jewel-case is rifled, Or when the milk is missing, or another Peke’s been stifled, Or the greenhouse glass is broken, and the trellis past repair— Ay, there’s the wonder of the thing! Macavity’s not there! And when the Foreign Office finds a Treaty’s gone astray, Or the Admiralty lose some plans and drawings by the way, There may be a scap of paper in the hall or on the stair— But it’s useless of investigate—Macavity’s not there! And when the loss has been disclosed, the Secret Service say: “It must have been Macavity!”—but he’s a mile away. You’ll be sure to find him resting, or a-licking of his thumbs, Or engaged in doing complicated long division sums. Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macacity, There never was a Cat of such deceitfulness and suavity. He always has an alibit, or one or two to spare: And whatever time the deed took place—MACAVITY WASN’T THERE! And they say that all the Cats whose wicked deeds are widely known (I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone) Are nothing more than agents for the Cat who all the time Just controls their operations: the Napoleon of Crime!
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Macavity: The Mystery Cat
Macavity’s a Mystery Cat: he’s called the Hidden Paw— For he’s the master criminal who can defy the Law. He’s the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad’s despair: For when they reach the scene of crime—Macavity’s not there! Macavity, Macavity, there’s no on like Macavity, He’s broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity. His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare, And when you reach the scene of crime—Macavity’s not there! You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air— But I tell you once and once again, Macavity’s not there! Macavity’s a ginger cat, he’s very tall and thin; You would know him if you saw him, for his eyes are sunken in. His brow is deeply lined with thought, his head is highly doomed; His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed. He sways his head from side to side, with movements like a snake; And when you think he’s half asleep, he’s always wide awake. Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity, For he’s a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity. You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square— But when a crime’s discovered, then Macavity’s not there! He’s outwardly respectable. (They say he cheats at cards.) And his footprints are not found in any file of Scotland Yard’s. And when the larder’s looted, or the jewel-case is rifled, Or when the milk is missing, or another Peke’s been stifled, Or the greenhouse glass is broken, and the trellis past repair— Ay, there’s the wonder of the thing! Macavity’s not there! And when the Foreign Office finds a Treaty’s gone astray, Or the Admiralty lose some plans and drawings by the way, There may be a scap of paper in the hall or on the stair— But it’s useless of investigate—Macavity’s not there! And when the loss has been disclosed, the Secret Service say: “It must have been Macavity!”—but he’s a mile away. You’ll be sure to find him resting, or a-licking of his thumbs, Or engaged in doing complicated long division sums. Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macacity, There never was a Cat of such deceitfulness and suavity. He always has an alibit, or one or two to spare: And whatever time the deed took place—MACAVITY WASN’T THERE! And they say that all the Cats whose wicked deeds are widely known (I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone) Are nothing more than agents for the Cat who all the time Just controls their operations: the Napoleon of Crime!
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42
The beautiful mane that was her hair, Fell graciously on her shoulders, A pang of envy creeps in, Am not blind to eye catching things. My hand flows to my own mane, And all I find is a poorly growing one, It doesn’t help that it is ***** brown, And hers is shiny black. I wonder what she ate that I didn’t, For her to have surprisingly beautiful feminine hair, Contemplating, I nearly miss the scuffle… As it turns out, Other **** sapiens are watching her, Jealously I must add, After all, I am not alone! As if sensing our gawking looks, She turns her head, this, and that way, And in that moment of gratification, The mane that was her hair falls off. Stunned, I fall down with it, As I hit my behind on the concrete floor, I look for spots of blood, But soon, a hand picks it up, Alas, it is her hand! She should be dead because her head, Was cut off in a jealousy fit, By a non-forgiving female. Then it hits me, It wasn’t her mane after all, But a wig of sorts, That is why she resembled Beyoncé, Or was it Rihanna, She fumbles to replace her godly look, But now, I can breathe, I hadn’t noticed I wasn’t, It must have been because I realized, The same ***** brown uncombed short hair, That graced her clearly ashamed head, I am not alone after all!
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Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 7:24 AM UTC
Her hair
Fading off into the soft of the Tangerine Setting Sun I slipped away to rest my gun my battle here well it is done. I gotta say hey girl you know I love you so I'll never be lonely as you are the stars to me a deep and beautiful mystery I share you in our history you are the light I see the one that I am following. I am here my dearest...dear, so do not show them any fear as I am watching you as you are consoling the darkened midnight sky please stop questioning, wondering why as you look up for a shooting passerby dry those endless tears in  puddles of sad I am glad so I'll just sigh as this is not goodbye just farewell my sweetheart You'll never be alone my heart it is your home so take my hand your life is going to be so grand I've already planned my love from up here so very far above on seeing you again one day amongst the showy pink lady slippers we will lay you will see my eyes of clear blue and soft grey again. So you must stay... go and play while there's light that shines today Take up my fishing pole go back to our favorite swimming hole I showed you my graceful, & patient flicking wrists I gave it one last careful twist and the fly will softly land and kiss... the water There's no maybe my baby my crazy curvy Wildflower girl as I watch you twirl as I watch you in the setting Sun you come undone in the morning dawn your tired, sweet and sleepy yawn as you feel the breeze blow through your uncombed tangled hair please take a dare to share in your beautiful perfection I know you'll find the direction live today for me live today with me. I can see you as I stand here at a waiting Heavenly door in waters clean from Angels shores you'll know me again as you did before you'll know my love and so much more I sigh again as the sun is here as I too am drawing near ..time for me to go so, make use of today For you and them, I pray I am always waiting patiently forever and always with you ...for you.  XO Cherie Nolan © 2016
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Aug 8, 2016
Aug 8, 2016 at 1:26 PM UTC
"I Rest My Gun" A Fallen Soldier's Farewell
Fading off into the soft of the Tangerine Setting Sun I slipped away to rest my gun my battle here well it is done. I gotta say hey girl you know I love you so I'll never be lonely as you are the stars to me a deep and beautiful mystery I share you in our history you are the light I see the one that I am following. I am here my dearest...dear, so do not show them any fear as I am watching you as you are consoling the darkened midnight sky please stop questioning, wondering why as you look up for a shooting passerby dry those endless tears in  puddles of sad I am glad so I'll just sigh as this is not goodbye just farewell my sweetheart You'll never be alone my heart it is your home so take my hand your life is going to be so grand I've already planned my love from up here so very far above on seeing you again one day amongst the showy pink lady slippers we will lay you will see my eyes of clear blue and soft grey again. So you must stay... go and play while there's light that shines today Take up my fishing pole go back to our favorite swimming hole I showed you my graceful, & patient flicking wrists I gave it one last careful twist and the fly will softly land and kiss... the water There's no maybe my baby my crazy curvy Wildflower girl as I watch you twirl as I watch you in the setting Sun you come undone in the morning dawn your tired, sweet and sleepy yawn as you feel the breeze blow through your uncombed tangled hair please take a dare to share in your beautiful perfection I know you'll find the direction live today for me live today with me. I can see you as I stand here at a waiting Heavenly door in waters clean from Angels shores you'll know me again as you did before you'll know my love and so much more I sigh again as the sun is here as I too am drawing near ..time for me to go so, make use of today For you and them, I pray I am always waiting patiently forever and always with you ...for you.  XO Cherie Nolan © 2016
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86
So much I gazed on beauty, that my vision is replete with it. Contours of the body. Red lips. Voluptuous limbs. Hair as if taken from greek statues; always beautiful, even when uncombed, and it falls, slightly, over white foreheads. Faces of love, as my poetry wanted them.... in the nights of my youth, in my nights, secretly, met....
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So Much I Gazed
Betty Coutu drives a mean Rambler takes us public school, heathens to catechism on Saturday morn Smokes a cigarette like a prima-ballerina Shifts three on the wheel drives that clutch to the floor with her thick leg Makes the engine roar a little “to warm it up” Turns with the grace of swan Pavlova or belladonna Something of beauty just to watch her three-finger the wheel through a turn around all while taking a drag exhales to ceiling to music on the radio Elvis? Roy O, Patsy Cline circa 1959 Betty's hair is short, uncombed but she's not without lipstick lights her smoke with amazing matchbook skills Calm like a woman who does it often takes on wear with I'm in love, and I don't give a care She shifts and turns cigarette balanced like gossip on lips or between those first two fingertips Smoke swirling amid kids squabbling and whining in the back seat No belts back then till Dad got home to keep them in line But, I bet on Betty every time to get us there I want to drive like her, so badly! I sit beside her-- ossified watching her smoke and handle like a total expert I am distracted and will surely fumble my catechism answers for the nuns cataclysmically She drops us off by an icy foot slide I swear to God to stop back later when we're done ...with prayer and penance   recitation... and resolvings to sin no more Once we're out the door-- back to that forbidden foot-slide Always had a plan for fun So did Betty's son the hemophiliac Bless myself like an Olympian and pray for Johnny before he joins me for a run hemophilia: a medical condition in which the ability of the blood to clot is severely reduced, causing the sufferer to bleed severely from even a slight injury. The condition is typically caused by a hereditary lack of a coagulation factor, most often factor VIII.
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Mar 24, 2019
Mar 24, 2019 at 7:31 PM UTC
Betty Drives Us to Catechism
Betty Coutu drives a mean Rambler takes us public school, heathens to catechism on Saturday morn Smokes a cigarette like a prima-ballerina Shifts three on the wheel drives that clutch to the floor with her thick leg Makes the engine roar a little “to warm it up” Turns with the grace of swan Pavlova or belladonna Something of beauty just to watch her three-finger the wheel through a turn around all while taking a drag exhales to ceiling to music on the radio Elvis? Roy O, Patsy Cline circa 1959 Betty's hair is short, uncombed but she's not without lipstick lights her smoke with amazing matchbook skills Calm like a woman who does it often takes on wear with I'm in love, and I don't give a care She shifts and turns cigarette balanced like gossip on lips or between those first two fingertips Smoke swirling amid kids squabbling and whining in the back seat No belts back then till Dad got home to keep them in line But, I bet on Betty every time to get us there I want to drive like her, so badly! I sit beside her-- ossified watching her smoke and handle like a total expert I am distracted and will surely fumble my catechism answers for the nuns cataclysmically She drops us off by an icy foot slide I swear to God to stop back later when we're done ...with prayer and penance   recitation... and resolvings to sin no more Once we're out the door-- back to that forbidden foot-slide Always had a plan for fun So did Betty's son the hemophiliac Bless myself like an Olympian and pray for Johnny before he joins me for a run hemophilia: a medical condition in which the ability of the blood to clot is severely reduced, causing the sufferer to bleed severely from even a slight injury. The condition is typically caused by a hereditary lack of a coagulation factor, most often factor VIII.
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64
I love her. With every inch of me, since day one. When her hair is messy. Uncombed and curly, Pulled back into a sloppy ponytail That falls so chaotically across her shoulders. With several strands pulled out, framing her face. A cigarette delicately tucked, safely behind her ear. I love her. After she wakes up. Eyes blackened from her obsessive and excessive use of makeup. With awful breath and resting ***** face, She is Beautiful. I love her. When we stand outside. And rays of sunshine illuminate her brown eyes, Turning them into endless vats of amber, Untouched by man. Glistening until the end of time. I love her. When she is curled into me. Sleeping deeply and soundly, Snoring louder than my thoughts, Shaking and Twitching from whatever goes on in her beautiful subconscious. I love her. With no expectations of reciprocation. I understand I do not fit the criteria due to inevitable reasons. One day I will, and it will be beautiful. I love her. And because of that I will change. I will become what she needs because if I have her my body does not matter. She is the one of my dreams. The one I think about at midday and midnight. The one my most lovely of poems are of. The one I have only truly loved. She does not find me attractive in the way I do her. But that is okay. Because I love her. And one day, She Will Love Me
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Oct 13, 2016
Oct 13, 2016 at 11:10 PM UTC
I Love Her.
I can see it in the distance It's the River they call Styx An I can see the Boat Man Waiting for me holding out his hand Ahead is Charon’s long black boat In it many souls of those that are dead A rough unkempt Athenian ****** All dressed in brownish red His filthy matted beard is uncombed     His eyes burn like hollow pits of fire A steady glow off the riverbed A deathly foul oder laced in his attire What is it that you pay the Ferryman When you know your pockets are bare The two coins that are on your eyelids Will be enough to pay your fare
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May 13, 2014
May 13, 2014 at 1:07 PM UTC
The Payment
bloodshot tired eyes locked in a reflected viewing of an alone tortured hollowed shell paralyzed as I gaze into the ***** mirror an unwelcome familiar presence reminds me im never alone as my shadow manifests into a looming depression locking his grip on his ivory skinned art the reflected viewing was his incomplete masterpiece that took years of work look! look how beautiful I've made you! he gleams as cold darkened hands hold the sides of my face his thumbs point towards glazed over tear filled eyes outlining running mascara down sullen cheeks slowly moving hands down uncombed brown hair he yells you need a splash of color my dear! interlocking his fingers too tightly as he reaches a frail neck my face turns a crimson red as breathing is no longer an option slowly adding in a navy blue as the struggle for life spreads convulsions through a weakened body he only lets go to say I cannot destroy what I've created! it didn't haunt me just in the reflection that sentence ran through my mind with the same shrill voice as I stared down the neck of another empty bottle the taste and smell of a bourbon washed down with scotch was intoxicating as it drowned his negative passive aggressive screaming another bottle made me feel fluid bringing out a smile that has been long faded a laugh that was suppressed to feel anything but the pain he brought the confidence to portray a happier version of the dying light I was to portray the me I was before depression claimed me as his shivering and chills snap me back to the reflected present as his hands run down my uncovered arms where he carelessly streaked black and blue finger painted marks each bruise that illuminated too bright in a dimly lit room he traced them ever so gently writing a cursive love poem as he moved down to my wrists that were consistently covered he grazes over red protruding straight lines where fingernails like razor blades danced from one end to the other signifying that 7 lines measured the years he spent working on the piece he called Shelby across what was left of my ivory skin he carelessly wrote his name in ink mixed with blackness as dark as him and specks of my own blood interlocking our souls as one and to declare me as his and non others for an artist never lets another touch his incomplete masterpiece
0
Mar 31, 2019
Mar 31, 2019 at 3:37 PM UTC
Reflection
bloodshot tired eyes locked in a reflected viewing of an alone tortured hollowed shell paralyzed as I gaze into the ***** mirror an unwelcome familiar presence reminds me im never alone as my shadow manifests into a looming depression locking his grip on his ivory skinned art the reflected viewing was his incomplete masterpiece that took years of work look! look how beautiful I've made you! he gleams as cold darkened hands hold the sides of my face his thumbs point towards glazed over tear filled eyes outlining running mascara down sullen cheeks slowly moving hands down uncombed brown hair he yells you need a splash of color my dear! interlocking his fingers too tightly as he reaches a frail neck my face turns a crimson red as breathing is no longer an option slowly adding in a navy blue as the struggle for life spreads convulsions through a weakened body he only lets go to say I cannot destroy what I've created! it didn't haunt me just in the reflection that sentence ran through my mind with the same shrill voice as I stared down the neck of another empty bottle the taste and smell of a bourbon washed down with scotch was intoxicating as it drowned his negative passive aggressive screaming another bottle made me feel fluid bringing out a smile that has been long faded a laugh that was suppressed to feel anything but the pain he brought the confidence to portray a happier version of the dying light I was to portray the me I was before depression claimed me as his shivering and chills snap me back to the reflected present as his hands run down my uncovered arms where he carelessly streaked black and blue finger painted marks each bruise that illuminated too bright in a dimly lit room he traced them ever so gently writing a cursive love poem as he moved down to my wrists that were consistently covered he grazes over red protruding straight lines where fingernails like razor blades danced from one end to the other signifying that 7 lines measured the years he spent working on the piece he called Shelby across what was left of my ivory skin he carelessly wrote his name in ink mixed with blackness as dark as him and specks of my own blood interlocking our souls as one and to declare me as his and non others for an artist never lets another touch his incomplete masterpiece
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55
(Just some passing thoughts) What if..... ...the midnight blue firmament remained midnight blue? ...dawn didn't come...the sun didn't even peep... ...the lamp posts remained bright with light ...because the hours seemed to have stopped ...because the night.....didn't want to end what if... ...everyone got tired of the night ...dreamt, and wished for a bit of light ...bonfire flames became too much for the eyes ...they burned nonstop, like those in a funeral rite ...as if waiting for the dead one to soar ...even with the wind blowing, temperature was hot ...everyone was awaiting the sun--- ...the true light of day What if... ...electricity did not return...gone permanently ...there'd be no more cell phones, ipads ...laptops, desktops, nooks and kindles ...there would be nothing...of these gadgets ...no more appliances to make life easier But, what if... ...light came back ...we had sun...and moon...and stars ...yet we could not speak, like we speak today? ...no papers and pens...just rocks and pointed objects? Where would you be? where would I be? how would we be? Would you be one holding a club? dressed in your off shoulder attire of animal skin? would your hair be long, uncombed, messy? would your house, be a cave? Would my hair be rudely grabbed by a man to show the rest that he owns me? Instead of cats and dogs, would our pets be big, long necked creatures that eat trees? would they be friendly enough to be patted? Would we ever know of a blood moon apart from a blue moon, or a yellow crescent? would we ever know of mars? jupiter? would we still remember our own earth? the way life used to be? How would we be? where would i be? where would you be? Sally Copyright September 4, 2015 Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
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Sep 17, 2015
Sep 17, 2015 at 2:18 AM UTC
WHAT IF...
(Just some passing thoughts) What if..... ...the midnight blue firmament remained midnight blue? ...dawn didn't come...the sun didn't even peep... ...the lamp posts remained bright with light ...because the hours seemed to have stopped ...because the night.....didn't want to end what if... ...everyone got tired of the night ...dreamt, and wished for a bit of light ...bonfire flames became too much for the eyes ...they burned nonstop, like those in a funeral rite ...as if waiting for the dead one to soar ...even with the wind blowing, temperature was hot ...everyone was awaiting the sun--- ...the true light of day What if... ...electricity did not return...gone permanently ...there'd be no more cell phones, ipads ...laptops, desktops, nooks and kindles ...there would be nothing...of these gadgets ...no more appliances to make life easier But, what if... ...light came back ...we had sun...and moon...and stars ...yet we could not speak, like we speak today? ...no papers and pens...just rocks and pointed objects? Where would you be? where would I be? how would we be? Would you be one holding a club? dressed in your off shoulder attire of animal skin? would your hair be long, uncombed, messy? would your house, be a cave? Would my hair be rudely grabbed by a man to show the rest that he owns me? Instead of cats and dogs, would our pets be big, long necked creatures that eat trees? would they be friendly enough to be patted? Would we ever know of a blood moon apart from a blue moon, or a yellow crescent? would we ever know of mars? jupiter? would we still remember our own earth? the way life used to be? How would we be? where would i be? where would you be? Sally Copyright September 4, 2015 Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
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50
Found my slice of paradise on the southern coast today. Although I felt ill prepared at first: cycling in my climbing shoes (the only shoes I found tossed in my car), no helmet, and nothing but a large body of salt water at the end of the trail to quench my thirst for refreshment, perhaps what I was most unprepared for was this small patch of sand I stumbled across at the edge of the lagoon, much unlike the pristine white sandy beaches with ******** clad women that embody San Diego County, this slice of shoreline is squeezed by a motel parking lot to the north and tightly packed condos to the south and seems rugged and uncombed, like an abandoned lot the city had intended to develop before the recession but instead left it to sit, collecting seaweed and mangy seagulls. Slightly windy, home to an unwelcoming rip current, and the view of the freeway not far behind me, this was paradise. My unkempt paradise. Although a few scattered families littered the sand, who somehow felt like intruders to a secret jewel I had just discovered, I still felt that this was my new patch of sanity. I felt a strong urge to keep it a protected secret matched with a sense of pride in finding it and the desire to share this hidden sense of serenity with all my friends on the central coast; bring them here to christen it with the free-spirited energy I had unwillingly left behind. But instead I left that decision for another day, rolled out my yoga mat I had haphazardly strapped to my back, and started my Vinyasa flow with a view of the Pacific Ocean; a sputtering plane engine was my mental Sanskrit, the tide my metronome for breath. Even the stares of my fellow beach-dwellers wouldn’t deter me from this spot. I had left my mark near the lifeguard tower, a skinny path from my tires and a rectangular imprint of my mat that said: I'll be back. Perhaps what sealed the deal was the sign I passed as I pedaled away: Bicycle Friendly Community. Yep, maybe this could be a home away from SLO.
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Nov 10, 2011
Nov 10, 2011 at 2:05 AM UTC
Paradise [Found]
Found my slice of paradise on the southern coast today. Although I felt ill prepared at first: cycling in my climbing shoes (the only shoes I found tossed in my car), no helmet, and nothing but a large body of salt water at the end of the trail to quench my thirst for refreshment, perhaps what I was most unprepared for was this small patch of sand I stumbled across at the edge of the lagoon, much unlike the pristine white sandy beaches with ******** clad women that embody San Diego County, this slice of shoreline is squeezed by a motel parking lot to the north and tightly packed condos to the south and seems rugged and uncombed, like an abandoned lot the city had intended to develop before the recession but instead left it to sit, collecting seaweed and mangy seagulls. Slightly windy, home to an unwelcoming rip current, and the view of the freeway not far behind me, this was paradise. My unkempt paradise. Although a few scattered families littered the sand, who somehow felt like intruders to a secret jewel I had just discovered, I still felt that this was my new patch of sanity. I felt a strong urge to keep it a protected secret matched with a sense of pride in finding it and the desire to share this hidden sense of serenity with all my friends on the central coast; bring them here to christen it with the free-spirited energy I had unwillingly left behind. But instead I left that decision for another day, rolled out my yoga mat I had haphazardly strapped to my back, and started my Vinyasa flow with a view of the Pacific Ocean; a sputtering plane engine was my mental Sanskrit, the tide my metronome for breath. Even the stares of my fellow beach-dwellers wouldn’t deter me from this spot. I had left my mark near the lifeguard tower, a skinny path from my tires and a rectangular imprint of my mat that said: I'll be back. Perhaps what sealed the deal was the sign I passed as I pedaled away: Bicycle Friendly Community. Yep, maybe this could be a home away from SLO.
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This is Me. The final part. From one broken home, to one broken heart. Hidden behind the mask of the old porcelain doll, cracked and tortured. I have seen it all. Uncombed hair and clothes that are rag, Behold my feelings, I am but sad. No one would listen, during my youth, when I was a young man or drinking my ***** The alleys were dark with walls caving in. Hearing voices inside me, that's where it begins. Sitting alone, by one candle light, I saw pen and paper, blown by surprise. I started to talk, with the pen in my hand, writing muse on the pulp, trying my hand. I was confused, my words were a mess. To me, there just jumbles, I must confess. I read them back, and started to sigh, Because this is my sad story, It made me cry.
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Oct 2, 2014
Oct 2, 2014 at 4:33 PM UTC
The Story (Part 4, Me)
To be refleshed at the end of your last true summer, to have fingertips—not your own—pry away the old skin and charge the nerves of the new, how could you plan something like that? You're in a new body and in an old house. The window unit moans. ***** clothes cover the floor. He's more than fingertips now. He's uncombed hair. He's shirtless and he's breath and he's in your mouth and the taste is sweet, familiar, and just far enough away to turn nameless and evaporate from where all names originate: the tongue. But he still delivers his tongue to you, your back arching, you're a lost instrument singing, the notes bending, the melody transforming, until God's refrain rings and ricochets noiselessly in the chambers of your skull. In space there is no center, you're always off to the side. And he's there, at your side, and you both stare at the ceiling fan and laugh. What else can you do? He is still. You are still. He starts to say your name. No more words. We are home.
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Aug 16, 2016
Aug 16, 2016 at 12:40 AM UTC
The Song of Longing
I stepped out of my gloom In the the gibberish street Stomping steps, chattering mouth Men running around, Women carrying children Some making choices, others laughing in corner I looked around more deeply Sky seemed in motion, thousands birds flying Pretty girls, Handsome men crossing me by I stood there, my ripped pyjamas, over sized shirt Uncombed hair, being a muddy puddle beside a green river Unable to find, where do i fit? Do i belong here, do i know them?
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Oct 15, 2018
Oct 15, 2018 at 6:35 AM UTC
UNFED UNFIT
Who is that girl in the mirror? Her eyes are vacant and red. Hair is uncombed and knotted. Track marks line her arms, and she’s smiling, but those eyes. They’re haunted and dead. What have you seen, girl? The horrors are forced back. Repressed memories torment her mind- what’s left of it, anyways. She’s only 12, but she looks 19. A life on the streets; Her own personal hell. Abandoned and left to die by a dad that didn’t know how to raise a child. Drugs and alcohol his main priority. You wouldn’t last a minute living inside my head. What have I seen? God can’t save my soul. Time does heal the wounds, but a band-aid is only temporary. There’s a toxic hole where my heart should be. The scars are still there; Those men in expensive cars smelling like alcohol and cigarettes. Maybe I’ll make some money for food or try to find some new clothes. Young girls don’t last too long outside in the cold. Our pasts don’t define us, but they sure as hell create us. Maybe they’ll break us and remake us. But what has been broken can't always be repaired.
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Dec 2, 2012
Dec 2, 2012 at 9:37 PM UTC
The Past.
At some time in past, pacing dispersed deliberated fine, I met accidentally childhood a mate close to mine; Yet, he is not mendicant, stiff replete, Become visible altogether equally, drew sight; 'Hastily reach somewhere I', was my only answer - ignite. If no symphony exists in human race, matter excite. Soon the spirit stirred to delineate- Many eyes were fixed at me and comrade. He too is man of dignity and pride Well learnt, self-reliant, vigorous and gratified; Little his fanatic and freak made him waif And confirm not an ideal of living safe. Astonishingly perk, perhaps, he concluded actual existence, Sneer with splashing note on my strange performance: Set uncombed hair posting both hands thereon Marched towards destination unsettled in gloomy way-worn. It is gesture tells standard all of us. In as for as, society co-operate with loquacious Hugged not poor and deserving due to hesitate, Victorious appreciated beyond measure those ne'er violate. Turn round the cycle pursuing principles certain we feel, Ready not to deny ostensible reserved in our deal An artless inquiry knock but in vain Just digest, can landscape bloom without rain?
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Jun 6, 2013
Jun 6, 2013 at 8:26 AM UTC
Me And Comrade
Remember me this way When I have just woken up Uncombed hair tied into a careless bun Face still fresh from rest Blurry Remember me the way I continue the week from a bad day With my mundane thoughts And everyday things Incremental Remember me this way When I'm looking behind, smiling As I don't always do "It does something to your face-- Umaaliwalas" Remember me this way If you think of me at all
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Oct 3, 2015
Oct 3, 2015 at 9:07 AM UTC
Remember me this way
I see him in the fields His pretty hair, uncombed Swimming in the wrought shoots of wheat His smell travels faster than sun Of dry grains and weeds, bathed in sweat Of moist soil, burnt by scarlet sun His colour, a theater of wheat grains His face, an album of old trips Different shapes play in it differently Drowning in the rain of dust His brows are tired of tightening Over and over, poor them He waves me, while trying to stand On the leg that always refuses Almost there, it flexes and he falls The brows relax, reality is welcomed He apologizes in a low voice A god in the lap of golden soil I see him in his garden Where on his fine knee He is on a fine soil, fine smile Tomatoes playing in his hands Leaves slipping through his fingers And this fine son, does all he can I see him in rains, when on one He concluded what i should like A fine man with fine two legs (But) There is this one man i like, Who smells of wheat,  who has a fine leg He who ever liked me Pk
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Mar 28, 2017
Mar 28, 2017 at 5:16 AM UTC
WHEAT MAN
You say try not to miss me and I laugh... don't tell me tell the wind tell her not to whisper your name repeatedly remind her not to tease me with your scent infusing flowers with fresh baked bread beg her not to touch my skin nor tease my uncombed hair so playfully Please tell her not to dance around me laughing so lightly as to make me smile as my missing you is like the breeze... only natural.
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Nov 15, 2012
Nov 15, 2012 at 2:05 PM UTC
Missing You
No. I'm fine. As a matter of fact, I'm happy. And perfect. Yes, my hair's uncombed and my clothes are ragged and I live everywhere Under the table, sometimes framing infinity. Or on the edge of the precipice conquering literature and flying Or somewhere in the street scattering the everlasting tunes whilst letting the wind dismember the feathers swirling round my earlobe. It's my choice. I refused to inhabit the life of conventionality. On a fine summer day, if you prefer, you can Run away with me.
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May 19, 2013
May 19, 2013 at 4:26 PM UTC
Any time, wherever
Those nights in which I stumble to bed, Makeup still intact, Jeans and shoes remaining, Uncombed, unbrushed, Unwritten and undefined... Bring on the days In which I don't give two ***** about anything.
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Nov 29, 2012
Nov 29, 2012 at 7:16 PM UTC
Two *****
nothing wrecks a happy home more than an addiction. a whirlwind of a house. built on precarious cement. yet, turning to corners to find the walls nearly caving in. this confusion, a mind of maddening thoughts. consumed in a vacuum of complexity. locks of uncombed hair, only adding to the weight etched on self. nothing wrecks a happy home more than an addiction.
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Aug 27, 2015
Aug 27, 2015 at 11:28 AM UTC
discord
I know you will have to listen to me as I snore when everything is in blossom, and you will have to see me with uncombed hair, and you will have to wait until I get dressed and put on my make-up each morning - but I promise that I will always be there for you I will never leave you I will always cook you dinner and I will kiss you goodnight each time you fall asleep. And I will have to listen to you as you snore when the air is dry, and I will have to wash your underwear from time to time, and I will have to accept that you smoke sometimes, - but I know that you will always be there for me you will never leave me you will always bring me flowers and you will kiss me goodnight each time I fall asleep.
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Oct 10, 2011
Oct 10, 2011 at 5:39 PM UTC
We Believe in It
what has my life become studying and cursing the sun melting in the desert heat dragging my tired feet prying open my sleepy eyes desperately trying to be wise laughing with friends at odd hours singing and dancing in the shower running only on caffeine my desk is constantly unclean missing home hair uncombed bus to work in the library i lurk book after book intentions mistook ukulele jamming before-quiz cramming praising God looking odd hair color changes with my mood wishing for a change in food longing for the mountains missing my church in Fountain finding my place in the world becoming more woman than girl.
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Oct 13, 2014
Oct 13, 2014 at 12:57 AM UTC
college.
Eulogy for Justin Bradley, Age 22 who committed suicide 2/28/19 My Sweet Boy You had a beautiful soul. You had a tortured soul. You had so many friends, but still felt alone. Your friends were everything,….But which one to text, from your seven phones??? Great Falls, DC, Road trips, Museums, Golf, or Gold Cup You were always … I’m down dude, just hit me up. You lived for cheese pretzels, chicken nuggets, Chipotle, Mac and cheese or JUST turkey bacon…. Why were you taken? You had a beautiful soul. You had a tortured soul. Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Supreme, Who needs to spend big bucks? When you can get it from China, even though the quality ***** You flew, flipped and twisted, Off buildings with no fear Luckily you found an outlet in cheer. You had a curiosity and intellect beyond your years. But how the hell did you become a Republican? For that… we will give you a mulligan. You had a beautiful soul. You had a tortured soul. You were struggling to make sense Trying to figure out YOU. We tried to reach out. We tried to break through. So, my message to parents and to young adults who choose to be, Giving love and hugs every day, should be your reality. Their room may be messy, their hair uncombed, the recycling not taken, and clothes on the floor. But don’t jump on them the minute they walk through the door. Depression is a disease not to be dismissed. Get help for your child. Try to assist. Remember to celebrate their brightness and light. And take a moment to enjoy these gifts, each and every night. You had a beautiful soul. You had a tortured soul. So go to that ultra festival in the sky And As you flip over those Pearly Gates, we wave good bye. I love you Justin and I will miss you forever.
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Apr 15, 2019
Apr 15, 2019 at 7:57 AM UTC
Eulogy for My Son
Eulogy for Justin Bradley, Age 22 who committed suicide 2/28/19 My Sweet Boy You had a beautiful soul. You had a tortured soul. You had so many friends, but still felt alone. Your friends were everything,….But which one to text, from your seven phones??? Great Falls, DC, Road trips, Museums, Golf, or Gold Cup You were always … I’m down dude, just hit me up. You lived for cheese pretzels, chicken nuggets, Chipotle, Mac and cheese or JUST turkey bacon…. Why were you taken? You had a beautiful soul. You had a tortured soul. Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Supreme, Who needs to spend big bucks? When you can get it from China, even though the quality ***** You flew, flipped and twisted, Off buildings with no fear Luckily you found an outlet in cheer. You had a curiosity and intellect beyond your years. But how the hell did you become a Republican? For that… we will give you a mulligan. You had a beautiful soul. You had a tortured soul. You were struggling to make sense Trying to figure out YOU. We tried to reach out. We tried to break through. So, my message to parents and to young adults who choose to be, Giving love and hugs every day, should be your reality. Their room may be messy, their hair uncombed, the recycling not taken, and clothes on the floor. But don’t jump on them the minute they walk through the door. Depression is a disease not to be dismissed. Get help for your child. Try to assist. Remember to celebrate their brightness and light. And take a moment to enjoy these gifts, each and every night. You had a beautiful soul. You had a tortured soul. So go to that ultra festival in the sky And As you flip over those Pearly Gates, we wave good bye. I love you Justin and I will miss you forever.
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