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Aaron LaLux Sep 2018
It’s always easy to say you love me,
when I’m *****,
I only have your undivided attention,
when you’re about to come,

what is it with ****,
and why do all mean act like predators,
walking around looking to stick it in,
while constantly trying to fight all competitors,

gross,
get your sick stick away from me,
I don’t want to fck I don’t want to ****,
I just want to make a way to get away from everything,

even though I know there’s no where I can go,
that will put me far enough away from men,
that I will feel comfortable enough,
to relax enough to meet a man and be his friend,

and I know that sounds a little extreme,
but so does being pinned by my wrists to a bed,
while I’m being stuck from the back my ****,
with a pillow pressed upon my head,

and you don’t even get it,
you think we’re making love,
and I try to explain this,
but you don’t give a fck,

because you don’t make love,
you make ****,
so I’m going to get ghost as soon as I can,
no love lost because all we did was fck,

it’s always easy to say you love me,
when I’m *****,
I only have your undivided attention,
when you’re about to come…

∆ Aaron LaLux ∆
Seanathon Feb 3
Disconnected from the comfort
But not the truth indefinitely
You see
All about how it works and is
But you cannot see yourself at work in it
Comfortably
The January Lasts

A perspective
Kara Jean May 2016
The weekend drips slowly
Regrouping, fixing her flowing blouse
Removing moments of stupidity
Told, goals will not wait upon the playing
The world doubts her abilities
She keeps a flower crown
A sip in her soul and a push beyond control
A gut on the verge of dying
She smiles introducing her cries to the world
If God could see, how proud would he be
Taking shots as they sing
Oh to have a presence built on a kingdom of storm clouds
A goddess with out an understanding
Yellowbird Aug 2018
Uncomfortable
doesn't mean unprotected.
Comfortable
doesn't mean safe.

I'll need to tread
cold waters first
to get anywhere at all
when it feels
it feels like I’m losing
hold of it all
in reality
it's just that
I failed to remember
I don't go
anywhere
alone.

I'm never alone
I'm sorry I never listen.
ryn Oct 2014
Escape pods*
Ferried fears
  Gaping heart
   Falling tears
    Dishevelled mind
     Emotional unrest
    Watered ground
    Familiar guest
   Questioned answers
  Unanswered questions
  Glassy eyes
   Increased tension
    Dissipating hope
     Chewed confidence
    Broken spirit
   Unwelcomed sentence
  Failing health
Unstable mind
Choked fingers
Flying blind
 Pathetic plea
  Stretched thin
    Battered insides
     Uncomfortable skin
      Eventual stop
       Frightful frights
        Perceived freedom
         Within sight
        Bruised being
     Absent gods
    Relying upon
   *
Escape pods
Don't ask...I don't even know...
The Toxic Bitch Dec 2018
I hate holding hands
It makes zero sense to me
It's sweaty
Uncomfortable
Just useless
Or at least that's what i believed in

Until you held mine
It's weird
It felt different
I liked it
I wasn't uncomfortable
Just cozy
I felt warm

You're different
Warm different
-Oy
.17.Dec.2018.
Permission to disappear... for a few years?
I ask to be pardoned, while I become a stranger
as I'm so uncomfortable being so ******* familiar.
Let me go, leave me to become a nobody to everyone
In order to become
SOMEONE
to myself.
ryn Jan 2015
How are you?
I'm alright I guess...

Where do we begin?
Maybe at the start of this mess.

Are you uncomfortable?
I can't say that I'm not.

Is it your past?
Well it's all I've got.

Do you still get nightmares?
Well I used to...

Will you let them show?
Depends on you...

What do you hope to accomplish?
I don't know... Peace of mind?

Would you have done things differently?
Everyone wants the chance to push "rewind".

Care to elaborate?
Let's just say I would've liked to be braver.

What do you mean?
I should've stood up to my father...

Did he abuse your trust?
He did more than just that...

Rob you of your freedom?
Let's see... His belt, cigarettes and also boiling water out of a vat.

Do you wish him ill?
I wished him dead.

"Wished"?
Yeah...in his bed.

Why "wished"?
Because I wanted that then...

For how long?
Since I was ten.

What about now?
(
Maniacal smile) I am now... At peace.

"At peace"?
I have found release.

You have?
Yes... I couldn't resist the urge.

Urge to do what?
To comply with the voice... "
Freedom...lies in the purge..."

You left your father?
Yes but not before...

Go on...*
Not before I slit his throat with a smile on my face as I shut the door...
Inspired a programme I watched on the crime channel.
FlipThePoet Sep 2018
I'm beginning to like this Sport.
Hockey girl.

I'm getting comfortable around you hockey girl
I'm getting use to the cold tryin' not to fold hockey girl
I'm learning how to skate, 'em chairs far away hockey girl
I'm not gonna lie, I do fall and fall again as I try to stand hockey girl

Oh what a game hockey girl
I'm a summer boy, l love grass and the cleats hockey girl  
I'm a gym boy, I rather do weights and do the jumpman hockey girl
I like to think I'm a sport guy but hockey wasn't mine hockey girl

Where I was born hockey wasn’t a sport hockey girl
Sometimes I would think "how can I learn a new sport at one and twenty" hockey girl
Back in the day I used to think hockey was white and not black hockey girl
Now I'm beginning to realize that hockey is black and white hockey girl

Sometimes the pads and apparel gets heavy and uncomfortable hockey girl
Learning a new sport can be tough hockey girl
I play to not get in the box hockey girl
I sincerely hope I don’t disappoint you hockey girl.
FYI: This poem goes to a good friend of mine
I just wanna say thank you as I share my mind
jerelii Jul 2018
Life is a lesson
full of adventures to ride
it is a product of achievement and joy,
suffer and pain
but there are a lot of test
that you will take
some challenges
to test your patience
and perseverance
plus
hardwork that you should try
but after all, you’ll still
get through all of these zigzag lines
to the path that you will never know
what consesus would it bring into you.
Whether you labor it in
each continental parts
of living the success in life.
your choice is your destiny,
your will is what makes you.
& so you create what you become
and you become what you think
simple, but people always
choose the easy route
rather than the hard route
that will only makes them
overwhelmed and uncomfortable.
though uncomfortable things
will only let you G-R-O-W
once you give it a G-O-
To C-H-A-N-G-E
is a M-U-S-T
and so is to be a better self.
because to be a better person
means to suffer
to be a better person
means to change
and to be a better person
means to be kind and to be grateful for.


quotational marks that you carried in you
all along the way,
it will guide you
to reach your dreams and goals
in life.

this is the presentation
to make an impact to the world.
July 28,2018
Jerelii
Copyright
ryn Sep 2014
Sun up till sun down
Trapped in a perpetual frown
Moon comes then she goes
Drops free fall from my nose

Waking hours in the daylight
Aimless motions; clumsy, puppet-like
Waking hours in the night
Uncomfortable in my own skin and psych

Sleeplessness be my companion
Restlessness be my actions
Despondence be my demon
Crest fallen be my reason

Frantically sifting through my head
Vertically upright or supine in bed
Compartmentalising might be key
To fend off self inflicted insanity

Desperation hangs overhead; ripe and bruised
Excuses upon excuses ridiculously overused
Furiously typing before my mind curds
Hopes of finding peace in these unspoken words
Darkness is upon me... Please excuse my rantings
Alaina Moore Sep 2018
Thing's that make me uncomfortable:

That feeling when you get mad at me,
because I didn't do the thing, you didn't ask me to do, cause I can't read minds; I'm not your parent.
That tone in your voice when you go off about how unfair the world is, triggered by the slightest setback.
The feeling when I sacrifice all that I am for the sake of your mood and happiness, in vain.
That sound of the exacerbated sigh when I ask you to run an errand, as if I am not also tired.
The pressure of carrying us both on broken legs.
The pit in my chest when I ask your opinion and you say "I don't care," but you actually do care, because whatever choice I make is laced in ridicule.
When you say you're doing something for me but you're just trying to make yourself feel better about doing it for yourself.
When you use my disorder as a justification or excuse, but when I actually need your help you seem burdened and annoyed.
That "okay then" moment when I give you everything you ask for and you take it as if you never wanted it.
"If love is a labor, I'll ***** till the end." -Rise Against

"these words are knives that often leave scars" - Panic! at the Disco
Purcy Flaherty Jan 2018
My sociopathic mistress ~
Initially she began contacting me over the course of a year or so and increasingly over the last few months she started visiting me, helping me, caring for me and occasionally employing me in different ways.

She’d just had a break up a few weeks before, explaining that things hadn’t been right in the relationship for some time!

She presents herself as respectful, thoughtful, gentle, kind and considerate and after what seemed to be a very short length of time; unexpectedly declared that she had feelings for me; regarding love, admiration, desire and some other adventures.

She then began to bombarded me with love talk; occupying around 70% of my time gaining my trust, I was swept off my feet; as she took a great deal of interest in me, learning everything about me, what I liked, where I would go, always asking what I was thinking feeling, how she could help and I was flattered and she was charming, though a little awkward at times.

As our friendship grew she started sharing her "back story" ~including some tragic life experiences; she vilified her past lovers, and ex-partners and branded them as crazy or bitter liars and troubled souls; gaining my sympathy, whilst securing my allegiance, and keeping me on side; keeping me close. ~ drawing on my compassion loyalty & trust!

During intimate moments she would sometimes seem a little awkward, false or acting a little insincere and I made allowances for this given my knowledge of her backstory. Re~ (The tragic life events & experiences)

She began to chose and buy me clothes outfits, take me shopping gradually altering my outward image and appearance.

She introduced me to her friends but was careful to keep me and them at arms-length, I realise now that she was building an alternative profile of me in their minds.

She soon started to embroil me in her own rituals and compulsive behaviour’s, explaining that tasks needed to be performing in very specific ways to prevent her getting distressed!

She made many promises :
"The hook"
It was my expectation i.e. waiting for some of those promises to materialise that kept me hanging on; This increased her control and exited her too. (None of her promises came to fruition!)

She gradually had a hand in almost every aspect of my life i.e. my home, my work, my friends, family, my finances, the way i dressed, the food i ate and many other things besides, much of which I didn’t realise until our relationship was finally over.

“Dupers delight!” ~ She often took immense pleasure in duping, individuals or a companies out of something through theft, shoplifting, or getting something for nothing, a profiteer, a chancer!
To question or challenge her authority would result in seeing her façade slip and I’d watch her decline into meltdown.
It's at that point, she would lose control of her emotion, lose composure and rational and I would see her irrationality come to the fore revealing the real person underneath ~ childish, contrived and fragile ~ It’s as if control is the glue that holds her together, without it she just falls apart , she can’t be consoled and it’s impossible to calm this situation; and it’s this point she would attempt to regain control by “Gas lighting” me, she would distort the truth in an attempt to damage my self-esteem, to make me question my own mind, my words and any actions , apportioning blame, pointing fingers making me feel guilty, or using hurt, sorrow, shame or *** to pacify or regain control over me and my actions!

These episodes would appear often though irregular and I would always be deemed at fault! ~ She “never” took responsibility or made any apologies for her conduct; she would also go out a lot and lie or bend the truth as to where she had been; I never challenged this behaviour!

When the relationship was finally deemed over! ~
I began to see my new position in the cycle ~ she immediately begin to vilify me in order to give credence to her “New backstory”, I felt very confused, disorientated and emotionally fraught ~“Shell shocked” questioning, how much of our relationship was true and how much was a lie? For everything I thought I knew was now knitted together with a very complex web of loyalties, lies and half-truths.

Her pattern of repetitive and controlling behaviours have seemingly remained unchanging thoughout all her relationships!

Within two weeks of being apart she told me that she had fallen in love (My replacement) someone she’d had her eye on for some time, some-one she admires, someone kept in the background, a friend a mutual acquaintance, and thanked me for bringing them together.
The grooming of her new lover would have come about in exactly the same way as previously described. It's her "MO"!
(Her pattern of behaviours, her techniques are fixed.)

Her parting statement to me was ~ just a playful stab at my heart; in the hope of provoking a negative response which would then serve to validate her new "back story".

She’s incredibly self-conscious, her biggest fear is that other people will find out about her true demeanour, her image and appearance is everything to her.
(She's afraid that people will shun her for being so very different)

Full circle~
I too must join the ranks of the discredited; labelled a liar, troubled, bitter and crazy.

She then secretly contacted my friends, family, fellow musicians.

I suspect that she may even attempt to vilify me with authorities or threaten some form of legal action as she has to others in the past!

I'm still drawn to her despite my knowledge of her sociopathic nature, and all the things that go with it ~ her constant need for attention, her lies, her infidelity and her deceit and I feel no malice towards her.
I'm intrigued  bewitched by the person hiding underneath the façade!
I know that person is far more interesting, beguiling and attractive than the façade!

Now the dust has settled ~
I’ve somehow remained sound of mind, I don’t feel guilty and I’m aware that I’ve been manipulated into thinking and acting in ways that don’t truly represent my character and that I’m just one of many people seduced by a sociopath! ~ Just another natural human variant , a person devoid of true empathy (for others) and that has developed a narrow set of skills and mirroring behaviours, which allow her to blend into mainstream society in order to feel safe, secure and in control!

She would have preferred to add me to the hareem a bank of beguiled individuals that are occasionally called upon,; kept on the back burner in order for her to use in the future or simply to monitor and re-assess her handwork and power over me.

The last time i saw her she began with nervous politeness and finished with veiled cruelty, I left this experience feeling drained, uncomfortable and quite fazed.

I hoped this incite would help myself and others to understand whats transpired once they're hooked; though i'm sure the next person will ignore any pre-warnings as just ramblings.

Individuals are driven by the natural pursuit of love, *** and romance rather than following advice of seemingly bitter ex...

One reason you and I might attract the attention of a sociopath is because we shine like stars !
Stars are both attractive and enhance the image and status of the people around them.

A  sociopath will orbit a shiny star draining its energy until its a done before slingshoting to a larger more attractive orbit!
*** is simply a tool for manipulation or pleasure;
There is no love or empathy only stepping stones!

Good luck brothers & sisters.
She loves to watch you ***!
Crego Nov 2018
Funny how
it used to be
so comforting
talking to you
But lately
I’ve never been
more uncomfortable
just being around you.
0900
God didn't promise us a comfortable life.
But one that would be uncomfortable.
Marshall Messi Jun 2018
The spiders have found the spot on your back you can’t reach
They grew into that monkey you can’t shake
But then you find The one.
There is she to identify that monkey
they all demand that piggyback ride your lower back can’t support
You thrash to frantic scramble then call them your own
We are a unit, let’s call it a family
We are now uncomfortable in our comfortability
Let’s call it love, call it what we know
Duct tape it together and say it’s fixed
Let’s call it love out of fear of the unknown
Smile for the photo, smile out of fear
Ham wasn’t happy, but we all saw his teeth.
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