"regenerates" poems
silver flute sits in the case
Studio awaits, soul suppress
Space slammed
silver flute rests on the stand
Insecurity of melody
Gasping for air
Trembling, closed off
silver flute plays a sweet song once, yesterday
For Michael, Raphael, Gabriel, & for Uriel
Resonance, chord floating,
pure revelation
last song of hope, courage
last wild witch prayer
Last organic sound, unplugged
silver flute sits in the case
Great Open Outdoors awaits, soul regenerates
Have we arrived to the sacred tree?
Silver flute will play Naked, wild, free!
All ears wide open
Open eyes, Open hearts, Open minds
True human connection returns
CODA
Silver flute floats in my heart & hand
Mar 20, 2014
Mar 20, 2014 at 9:59 AM UTC
~dedicated to the old poets here~
the addictive pairing of certain words, a line,
a lyric, slap-snapping you to full attention,
unfailing decades of instant recognition,
an adrenaline + caffeine shot that powers
a chance, a tensile injection that causes
the lips to commence a new choreography,
the fingers to tap, a jumbled, hurried, embattled
disorderly mess that regenerates, reformulates,
concords into agreement, a harmonic consistency
a geometry of many differing angles that equate
a hard physical, a soft mentality in a singled work,
coexisting in a sacred state of singed confluence,
though imperfect, satisfies mathematical boundaries
of a random outpouring, crowning the stripe inspiring
the spark that finally satisfyingly silences an ignited
filament a-glowing for years, that holy happens
to cross your antennae, fulfilling the need to honor,
the sacred geometry of chance, the honor to need,
the joy of saying, at last, this unwritten debt, paid!
————————————————————————-
(1) a favorite of many years, a lyric from “The Shape of My Heart” by Sting
(2) Dec 3 2020 2:53pm NYC
Dec 3, 2020
Dec 3, 2020 at 2:59 PM UTC
What is the meaning of Life?
Does that not state there is in fact a meaning to our lives? Are we not conceived with a blank slate and let our actions be guided by the environment we have become accustomed to or is there a true predestined meaning to our lives? Is it neither? We are nothing more than what we are and nothing less than what we are not.
What is my purpose?
Purposelessness.
What is God?
God is what leads me in the direction that I am heading and keeps me away from where I have not gone. God is not in the endless skies watching my every action. God does not know me. I don’t know God. God is not a being. God is not energy. God is not matter; God is not made of protons, neutrons, electrons or photons. God exists. We made God exist. We also made God disappear.
What is reality?
The tangible and physical perceptions that we have keep in our memories. As soon as we forget, reality disintegrates. When we remember, reality regenerates. Reality is not constant.
Why am I here?
Spontaneity
How did I get here?
I managed to avoid every other place than where I am. If I averted where I am now I would be someplace else. I would be any place else. Am I happy? Yes. Am I upset? Yes. This experience is beautiful yet full of dismay and I experience comfort but sorrow for only being able to experience a small sliver of the universe. But this is my sliver of the universe. I love this sliver of the universe and I would fight to the death to save this tiny space for anybody else to experience existence the way I do.
Who and What am I?
I am human, **** sapient, **** hominine, hominid, primate, Mammalia, Chordate, and Animal. I am an Earthling from the Milky Way. I am what I am labeled, by others and by myself. I am defined by everything I am not and I change every day. I am not constant.
What will happen when I die?
Transcendence from existence; Appearance into eternal rest. My body will provide nutrients to the world, my memories will be lost. I will no longer be, except in the minds of those who knew me and in the evidence I leave behind. I’ll be lost forever, the evidence will soon disappear. I will be over, the universe will go on. That’s all I could ever ask for.
Jan 3, 2012
Jan 3, 2012 at 9:40 PM UTC
I ate too much for breakfast today
And lunch was spent wondering if I should slip away
Wondering if I should go back for seconds
**** it, why not?
My feet jiggled nervously under the table
Trying to think of an excuse to leave
Trying to figure out how much the barbeque chicken pizza would hurt on the way back up
Trying to figure out how much I’d regret it
Trying to figure out if my body was okay
My self esteem balloons up and down
Somedays I look in the mirror and like what I see,
Think I look cute and quirky in my glasses and skirt,
Think my body is almost okay
And then like black crossing over to white, like a light switch flipped on
No inbetween
All of the sudden I am ugly
My body takes up too much space
Loving myself, loving this body seem like an impossible feat
The little critic in my head is back
And he wants to move back in,
I’m not cured
Recovery is not about loving your body
Recovery is accepting it
I’m still working on that
The calculator in my head wakes up,
Regenerates every time I’m around food
My hands still hover over the diet soda before forcing myself to pick something that scares me more
I still have to bargain in my brain
Eat a salad so I can eat ice cream and cookies
Skip lunch so I can have a big dinner
Strip naked in front of a full mirror,
Watch my body standing up, bending over, sitting
Grabbing, pinching, prodding, poking
Surveying this piece of meat
This thing
This body
That I know I need to be kind to
I weighed myself for the first time in almost a year
My toe lingered over the cold surface of a scale
Like a child about to dip his feet into water
I knew standing on that scale could drag me under
And I did it anyway
Loving myself is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done
When self hatred has been tamped into my soul
When my eating disorder was the only thing I good at
This secret lover, the most attentive one you could have
Took my hand and showed me how an empty stomach could feel like love
My eating disorder was my best friend,
The abusive relationship I kept going back to,
The most interesting thing about me,
The thing that was killing me
Having an eating disorder is easy;
Allowing yourself to slip into a disease out of your control
Having someone else make all your decisions
Your life reduces itself to the numbers on the scale
The slipping numbers on the scale assure me that everything is alright
But I can’t live like that
Having an eating disorder is easy;
Recovery is hard
May 28, 2016
May 28, 2016 at 3:19 PM UTC
Can this be the time once more
Of utter giving up of our control
The simple folliwing of commercial madness
Our desire for the day when food and wine
Have to be gathered about us like the defences of yore
Headlong we run from mid-summer until
We are exhausted in body, spirit or credit
The desperate worry of what to buy whom
Or when to order the especially fattened bird for your table
The ridiculous overspending on presents
When time could be the finest present you could give
Yule tide is a special period for Druids and all pagans alike,
The wonder of simplicity of reflection of our past year
The elements of sleep as mother earth regenerates herself
Resting often under the warmth of a blanket of snow
Gathering of families and loved ones
Blessings of the solstice as the wheel of the year turns
Once more into the light as the sun begins it's journey
Returning to the northern hemisphere
Our birds and native animals preparing for the winter
Storing their food, digging deep as they look for vitals
Likewise the land is resting,
The soil teems with dormant life, every insect and worm
Every root, form and bulb
Slowing right down as the degrees fall to freezing
The frosty and rime ridden mornings giving the flora
A lift of white dusting and sparkling light reflecting
The weak, beautiful winter sun
Heaves itself onto the low glancing position
Just making it to the tree tops before retiring once more to sleep
Leaving glorious swathes of orange and red
Painting the sky as it falls and rises.
Yule tide comes as all seasons, times and periods
But once a year in our short lives
The earthy sounds, the images and emotion
The smell of the newly fallen snow and woodsmoke
The foraging birds and squirrels
The warbling and tuneful song of the blackbird
And the tut tut of Mr Robin resplendent in his
Bright red waistcoat bobbing around in the crisp frost
Our lifetime of Yules is a wonder to enjoy,
I know as I look from my window where my heart is
As the distant tree bare in it's winter shroud speaks
To me as a friend and anchor within this beautiful planet.
Dec 17, 2017
Dec 17, 2017 at 5:22 AM UTC
I’m not a talkative person
In fact I have sewn my mouth shut
To keep my thoughts
From spilling out
With the force of a fire hydrant
When I do talk
It’s in mumbles and murmurs
I let my words run together
I don’t even remember the last time
I finished a real sentence
Poetry runs through my veins
Every night I unzip my forearms
And let my blood
Spill out onto paper
I’m sorry I can’t bleed for you
I’m selfish
I take, take, take, and take
I buy myself Christmas presents
Birthday presents
Because I ******* deserve it presents
Grace never came easy to me
I stumble over my shoelaces
Like I stumble over my words
Thank god none of you have a pet fish
Because I would probably
Break the bowl
Cigarettes
I don’t smoke them
But **** do I find them attractive
I think bruises are beautiful
Purple, blue, and black splotches
On pale skin
Soreness when you press your fingers
Into them
Give me bruises
And I’ll give you kisses
Your eardrums can and will shatter
Under my screeches of rage
I don’t always scream
But when I do
I turn into a ******* demon
I wear granny ******* casually
Because being comfortable
Is more important
Than being ****
Every bouquet you give me
I will keep
Until they are petal-less
And brown
They will sit in a vase
And decay
And I will use the scent
As perfume
I have a skinny waist
But fat thighs
I’m a size nine
Please don’t buy me size three jeans
Most people’s voices change
With puberty
My voice changes depending
On who I’m with
When I’m with you
My voice is deep with a sarcastic tint
When I’m with your parents
I sound like a ten year old boy
I have a cranberry juice addiction
That’s getting out of hand
Sometimes I break under
Magnifying glasses
My heart drums behind my ribs
There’s a reason why
They call it a cage
I’ve read Catcher in the Rye
Five times and I still
Hate Holden Caulfield
A good day for me
Is finding socks
Without holes in them
I don’t plan on being
A mother
I can’t give you
An heir
My heart explodes
Regenerates
Explodes
Regenerates
Explodes
Explodes
Explodes
Regenerates
I love myself more
Than I could ever love anyone else
And I’ve yet to find someone
Who understands that
Dec 23, 2013
Dec 23, 2013 at 4:46 PM UTC
I was a dense forest of wild desires
love engulfed it as a sudden wild fire,
lit by a spark your kohl rimmed eye emitted,
Never do I want to put it out, not in this life,
as burning for what you've kindled within me
is pure bliss,I realize, mon amie
The embers are alive, giving warmth
while the forest of desires regenerates
at a speed I haven't known ever before.
***
നീ പകര്ന്ന പ്രണയച്ചൂടില്എരിയുകയാണ് ഞാനിപ്പോഴും.
ഞാന് വന്യകാമനകളുടെ സാന്ദ്ര,നിബിഡവനം,
നിന്മഷിക്കണ്ണിലെ തീപ്പൊരി തെറിച്ച്
പെട്ടന്നതില് പടര്ന്ന കാട്ടുതീയാണീപ്രണയം.
അത്കെടുത്താന് എനിക്കീ ജന്മമില്ല,മോഹം.
നീപകര്ന്നു തന്നതിനായ് എരിയുവതേ എന്
പ്രിയ കാമിനി, നിര്വൃതി യെന്നറിവൂ ഞാന്.
കനലുകളുടെസുഖോഷ്മളത ഉള്ളില്പ്പടരവേ,
ഇതുവരെഞാനറിയാത്തൊരു തീവ്ര മാംത്വരയോടെ
വികാരമഹാവിപിനം വീണ്ടുമിതാ ഉണരുകയാണിവിടെ.
(In Malayalam translation)
May 29, 2017
May 29, 2017 at 7:35 AM UTC
The human body
Regenerates completely new skin cells
Approximately every
27 days
I say this knowing
That I am someone
Your hands have never gotten to know
My skin has mourned the loss of your touch
Grieved for the freckles that never got to know your warmth
No memorization of the path your fingertips took while
Tracing the lines of my skin
I am a whole new person
Since you've last held me
My body
Is not the only thing that has changed
Crazy how
So much can differ
From the last time
You knew me
But today
You don't
It only took 27 days for me to become someone else
I am someone else now
My limbs can attest to that
They no longer crave to be cradled by your arms
You do not know me
And it only took 27 days for me to realize
That I
Never really knew you
At all.
May 4, 2014
May 4, 2014 at 11:30 AM UTC
Being the softy that I am,
I feel sympathy for all those prisoners
On Death Row,
No matter what they’ve done.
But then I reflect that every one of us
Is also on Death Row.
Unless perhaps you are an ancient tree,
Or one of those jellyfish
Who regenerates like Doctor Who.
For Death is inevitable
The moment we are conceived.
I look for ways around this
And only see
An ocean
Of Religious and Spiritual
Speculation.
Paul Butters
Apr 28, 2016
Apr 28, 2016 at 4:31 AM UTC
he pressed himself into me and whispered, "just the tip."
at the time, i wasn't sure what to think. i wasn't sure if i was able to think at all.
i felt something hard press into my back, but not what i was expecting.
no, this, this was cold even in the summer's air.
my mouth was sewn shut by the press of your hand, but maybe it was the drinks i'd consumed.
and it hurt, what came after. what led to this.
when you called out to me, this was the last thing i expected.
but i was naive, and i was innocent, but you took care of that.
the threat of violence hung heavy in the air, the tip of your weapon cradling my spine.
and i could smell the metal, faint over the smell of the dirt and leaves you'd shoved my face into.
and when the violence was over, and the questions began running through my mind
[white text on a blank slate,
wiped clean with new memories and a loss
of something i never knew i had],
it was over with a flippant wave of your hand and a flick of your sweat-matted hair.
a figurative, "see you later."
an au revoir to your ***** laundry, like it's not worth dumping in the wash.
but we both know i'll scrub myself clean later.
clean, but not fresh.
and you're not afraid, not yet.
no, you're not the one that will cower
in fear in corners of beds
in corners of rooms and closets,
all mirrors turned around.
you'll be able to look people in the eye.
but you're not the one that will recover. and you're not the one that will change.
no, you'll always be a monster, a beast of brutality and, eventually, regret.
but skin cells die and the body regenerates, and wounds,
well, they heal.
and i'm not there yet, but one day i will be.
first, i have to remember how to stand up.
Mar 2, 2012
Mar 2, 2012 at 1:19 AM UTC
Keeping myself awake until I'm too tired to think of you.
Because when I'm thinking, I'm not dreaming.
And all I've wanted to do lately is join as two.
There's this ache behind my rib cage, and a burning behind my eyes.
These sheets don't smell like you anymore, and I'm sleeping on your side.
This bed is my own again, but I can't seem to forget the way your feet cradled mine, telling me that everything would be alright.
They told me that skin regenerates every twenty eight days.
I still have twenty seven until I'm new, proving to be much more difficult, being without you.
Jun 2, 2014
Jun 2, 2014 at 11:28 AM UTC
*Down the memory lane
The journey of my identity, my life
unfolded in a broad spectrum of events
Of how I reacted to life’s happenings.
Sometimes proactive, most times reactive.
Other times, I succumbed to the world,
My dreams hung in balance
Almost letting go,
especially my being."
Along that memory lane,
My faith builds on my ego,
Hope regenerates within my being,
Perseverance grows strong,
And self esteem heightens,
I hold on,
the portion of my being,*
*Beyond the memory lane
a new journey of my life
where the modern life
challenges my tradition beliefs,
no anticipation of overnight change,
but vivid imagination of good life beyond today
when tradition and modernity blend well
in my being.*
Aug 17, 2015
Aug 17, 2015 at 11:42 PM UTC
air invisible
heart vulnerable
Love indivisible
fear perpetuates
peace regenerates
May 30, 2016
May 30, 2016 at 6:44 PM UTC
lately it's been a mix of cold hellos and trying to drown out the unnerving voices inside my head telling me it's the perfect day to **** off and die. mostly, it's the latter. my teacher taught me that every 10 years our skeletal system regenerates itself and we, in the literal sense, become new people again. it's been eleven since you left and i still can't get the scent of you off my skin. how long does it take for a person to forget someone who made them feel like the neon lights that led to home? the answer is twenty bottles of ***** and a stranger's body to kiss, maybe even to hold afterwards. breakup *** makeup *** **** me til i pass out *** it doesn't even feel the same without you *** just come back i miss you so much i don't know who this person is please come back *** my hands are weak and my body is shaking as if the tremors that quaked california five days ago were suddenly reincarnating as the sobs in my head. twenty bottles, eleven years, i'm still counting, still counting, still counting, still counting. i don't know what i'm waiting for.
May 2, 2015
May 2, 2015 at 11:50 PM UTC
I just finished watching the movie LEAN ON ME (1989).
I graduated from Andover often considered the best high school in America. But the school I just watched in the movie is better than Andover. The school is Eastside High School in Paterson, NJ.
Morgan Freeman, who I consider the best actor ever, stars in the movie. If you have never seen the movie, see it now. If you have already seen it, see it again.
The story of the movie is a microcosm of the state of Earth. The new principal of Eastside, Joe Clark, played by Freeman, saves the high school and the lives of all associated with it--students, parents, teachers--through his love and the love he regenerates in all of them.
As I have said before, only love can save Earth, the love of all 8,000,000,000 of us.
Lean on all others.
TOD HOWARD HAWKS
Jan 31, 2023
Jan 31, 2023 at 2:09 AM UTC
Love captures smiles
deep within eyes,
within hearts
reflections spiral
as mirrors expand views.
Sparrow sing
as footsteps dance
at doorways ajar.
love dictates
in breeze as bells toll
in steno-like heartbeats
eyelids fluttering in drumroll
in moments unfold like wind.
Love inside dreamscape
regenerates, awakens
Oneness is realized.
May 7, 2017
May 7, 2017 at 10:53 PM UTC
As I keep on crying my heart is still dying
Even though I hate lying to myself
I just need to endure the pain
When ever I think of him my memory regenerates as my heart begs to make it real again
The locket in my chest will break whenever I finally forget
So far my locket is still stowed in the place it will stay forever.
Jan 31, 2013
Jan 31, 2013 at 11:56 PM UTC
I just finished watching the movie LEAN ON ME (1989).
I graduated from Andover often considered the best high school in America. But the school I just watched in the movie is better than Andover. The school is Eastside High School in Paterson, NJ.
Morgan Freeman, who I consider the best actor ever, stars in the movie. If you have never seen the movie, see it now. If you have already seen it, see it again.
The story of the movie is a microcosm of the state of Earth. The new principal of Eastside, Joe Clark, played by Freeman, saves the high school and the lives of all associated with it--students, parents, teachers--through his love and the love he regenerates in all of them.
As I have said before, only love can save Earth, the love of all 8,000,000,000 of us.
Lean on all others.
TOD HOWARD HAWKS
Feb 3, 2023
Feb 3, 2023 at 8:48 PM UTC
Step through the clouded mist
Reflect upon the silver pane
Assist and improve to renew
the lesser side of you
As the body regenerates
in kind so can the mind
Rectify verbal constructs
There's still time to grow
in matching your actions
Stretch between your
panic and comfort zones
Observe parity with clarity
Lessons in self awareness are key
as you can't always be told what to be
Jun 10, 2020
Jun 10, 2020 at 3:33 PM UTC
In the midst of a bright day
when sky gets covered up with dark clouds
it jeopardizes the well beings
of daily nuances.
But they fail to realize
that until you don't witness the darkness
you don't tend to appreciate
the beauty of the bright rays
peeping from behind the dark clouds
The mesmerizing rays
touches the soul skin deep
refreshes the senses
reclaims the victory of life
regenerates the novelty
and preserves the energy
to face another dark phase
Nov 21, 2014
Nov 21, 2014 at 1:31 AM UTC
It started with an instant 'Yes',
Because the love in her heart never ends.
The proposal which was longing for years,
Has happened in an unexpected spheres.
But, Within seconds, thought processing started,
affecting the heart which was darted,
and the excitement in his heart suffered.
I know the night which could have been much more special,
But, was laid back in a thinking tussle.
The thought was not about the acceptance,
It was about to get out of the painful depression,
It was about to recreate the magic of essence.
But the mistakes of the past,
which are now years old,
Still play a spoil sport.
Love gets overshadowed with
negativity,
faults,
reality.
Can True love ever end?
If it regenerates, in 20 days does it descend?
Perhaps, that was not love,
It was only the need of reality thereof.
Only almighty knows what prevails in our fate,
I so badly long to be in his arms till the last date,
Just trying to bring back my soul from an emotional abate.
Sep 3, 2014
Sep 3, 2014 at 5:43 AM UTC
I was a forest of wild desires
love engulfed it as wild fire,
lit by a spark from your eyes.
Never did I want to put it out,as
burning for what you gave me
was pure bliss,I realize.
The embers are alive, giving warmth
while the forest of desires regenerates
at a speed I haven't known ever before.
May 29, 2017
May 29, 2017 at 7:35 AM UTC
I love waking up with you next to me.
When I open my eyes and the first thing I see is you
I feel my love regenerates its self for you from your soft face, smooth voice and horrible morning breath.
I never loose the feelings that's you've helped me build for you.
It never decreases, only grows.
I am finding myself infatuated.
Sep 8, 2013
Sep 8, 2013 at 8:02 PM UTC
Sometimes we don't understand what a Christian life is all about and what exactly it mean. How can somebody just live without knowing what he or she is living for? Its pity isn't it. Can you just walk the road without knowing where you are going and where you are from. We all need to know our purpose and the reason for everything that we do.
There is a battle between the flesh and the spirit. Some people choose not to understand what they see simply because they think ignorance is the only way to escape the battle. We all know about it and we all feel that but some of us choose not to stand the battle. The fact is that anytime you act like you don't know you are giving a chance for anything whether bad or good and even the bible say the time you lack wisdom, wisdom just to realize you will perish. Knowledge is a key to everything and once you choose it you will win in everything and even the battles of your innermost will be won unto your will.
I always loved to give this example of the two dogs fighting within. One is mean and evil and the other one is good, they fight we all know that but the truth is anytime we get a fight there is a winner and a looser, its natural. We all know the survival of the fittest and the one that you feed the most will be the fittest and it will surely take the belt.
What are you feeding the most, your flesh or your spirit? Some spiritual battles can not be fought by the flesh but nevertheless can the spirit fail to solve physical matters. The life we are living is supernatural, metaphysical and it takes the heart of the spirit to open up the undiscovered doors of the supernatural hidden in the whelms of the spirit and gives the faith to the body for them to manifest in the physical. But this can only be done when the spirit has control to your everything. It knows already what you want but it will be waiting for the authority.
How can you give authority to the spirit? You need to fight this battle. Fight the common reasoning of the mind that covers a way to your sense of realization. Feed your spirit everyday that it will be fit enough to stand every battle. Humble your heart and make your body believe that the spirit can do it. Trust and have faith in your plans, have faith in what you haven't discovered. Open your eyes in the dark and see light all over and make it happen. The power of creation regenerates from your inner being, stop overshadowing it from creating. Then you will understand that this is the battle worthy fighting for.
Sep 27, 2016
Sep 27, 2016 at 9:31 AM UTC
I think way too much
and I know I should stop
cause it's bad for me
But something tells me not to
and somehow
it's like it regenerates me
like I don't need a battery
I just need some of my brains energy
And I could stay up for eternity
And I'm telling you
it's hurting me
Aug 26, 2013
Aug 26, 2013 at 3:29 AM UTC