my favourite song is sail to the moon live by radiohead and when he replied that it was his as well I was overwhelmed
we layed together and let the haunting phonics echo through your room

uninterrupted

I pressed my head to your chest and let your heart beat sync with the sound

two days later you told me you loved me and I was astounded when I heard the same words fall from my lips

I fell asleep listening to radiohead my head on the pillow and my heart in your hands

everyone warns you about heartbreak
They say that young love never lasts
and while they may be right I ask
Myself why I was never warned of the danger of a different kind of fracture

You broke my taste in music you ****

Teenage relationships don't generally end in divorces but the forces were at play and it ended anyway

Nobody worries about who walks away with the songs you've loved since childhood

Like Bono was my dude but you loved Beautiful Day so now we're not on good terms

Like Real People Do was the jam but you ruined it man

Why did I have to talk to you about music,
Janis Joplin, was poppin and Bob Dylan was killin but I told you all about it and now I'm not about it

the opening bars of sail to the moon rip me in open

and while we didnt have children I'm the short amount of time that we were living
In each other's embrace

music was our offspring and someone should have warned me about this thing where you aren't supposed to overshare
and though I have many questions about why it ended, why it's still going on, the biggest are why I told you my favourite song
and after the pseudo divorce

Who the hell gets custody of radiohead??

i fear i am too much for you.

too many feelings,
both good and bad.

too many opinions,
too much anxiety,
too much noise.

i'm afraid you don't want me anymore,
now that you've gotten to know me.

now that you've realized how clingy i am,
how i thrive off of attention,
how much trauma i've been through and how badly it has affected me.
now that you know how honest i am,
how much i overshare with some people,
and never share with others.
now that you are aware how the smallest thing can put me in the worst mood,
how i need constant validation or i shut down.

i am so ******* terrified,
that i've scared you away.

just by showing you who i am

I just realized that peter pan is actually an angel
And neverland is heaven
Those kids didn’t age because they were dead
I wish I didn’t age

I try to put my mental health before education
But then it affects my education which effects  
My mental health which effects my
Educ- you get it

Do you realize we are the kids our parents
Warned us about

I am an overly emotional
Clingy
Distant private person
Who has the tendency to overshare at any moment
And I don’t know what the **** that means
But I'm going with it

This poem doesn’t really have a meaning
But I think that might be the meaning

I'm sorry I run from problems
I'm sorry I tried to solve yours
I'm sorry I overshare
I’m sorry I make you bored
I'm sorry I stare
I'm sorry I look away
Im sorry im so hypocritical
And don't listen when you're political
I’m sorry each day turns me more cynical

I'm sorry for the things i've said
I'm sorry if I leave you on read
I'm sorry I didn't keep the teabag in long enough
I'm sorry I interrupt
Im sorry my confidence was eaten by the wind
And drowned by clowns who exposed my sins
I'm sorry I retreat within
Im sorry I cant f☆king sing
I'm sorry you excite me but despite this
I'm sorry for this constant apology

Im sorry im not polite enough
Not tight enough
I’m sorry my tastes aren’t soft to touch
I’m sorry im not bright enough
And my focus fades at your clutch
Im sorry im too open, too rough, too loud
And then too shy in certain crowds

I’m sorry that i’ve put on weight
I’m sorry I’m always late
I’m sorry I just love to procrastinate
I'm sorry I want to make plans
And i'm sorry I flake
I'm sorry you swallow my screams when I shake
I'm sorry I crawl to you like your warmth is my glue when I break

I'm sorry I collect pointless things
And give them half meaning
I'm sorry I give into temptation
In every situation
Im sorry I’m so contradictory
I'm sorry I interrupt
Or just don't listen enough
Huh, i'm sorry I repeat myself
I'm sorry if I don’t help
I'm sorry I forget to say goodbye
I'm sorry I don't confide
I'm sorry I'm always tired!
I’m sorry, I tried

I'm sorry I ego feast, and dwell on the deceased
I'm sorry I hate the beach
I'm sorry I need noise to sleep
I’m sorry im sweaty and need space to dance
I'm sorry you never got a second chance
I'm sorry I over stress
When i over over cook scrambled eggs
I'm sorry I don't shave my pu
☆ssy or legs

I'm sorry I can't articulate
And there for fail to conversate
I’m sorry i’m so needy
I’m sorry i’m so skint
I’m sorry if i'm not in the mood
Im sorry I can be so crude
Im sorry im so greedy
And sometimes so rude
Im sorry i’m just sick of take away food
Im sorry i’m erratic
And i’m sorry I cant f☆king hack it
I’m sorry some days I love you and others I don't
I'm sorry if i've made you lose hope
I'm sorry we disagree
I'm sorry I need more than you to feel safe
And less of you to feel free

Now take a step back and repeat this please;
I'll no longer be sorry for being me

Soft, easy to walk on
Pleasant, comfortable
Familial, forgettable
That's carpet.

Hateful, vengeful
Frustrated, ill-intentioned
Always mentioned, enfuriating
That's toxic.

Please love me.
Will you listen to me?
How are you doing?
That's carpet.

Please love me.
I'm empty.
I need you.
That's toxic.

I love you,
I'll do anything for you!
Please command me.
That's carpet.

I deal with your idiocies
I deal with your standards
I conform to fit inside your image.
That's toxic.

Can you hug me in front of
All of these people?
So that they know I'm worth something?
That's carpet.

After you listen to me,
I'll say I'm useless.
I'll say it's not your fault.
That's toxic.

I don't want to ***,
I don't want to talk,
I want you to trust me and tell me everything.
That's carpet.

All I want is ***,
All I need is some warm body.
Give me the fuel I've run out of.
That's toxic.

I'll give you everything
And do whatever you want
For whatever feigned love you can muster.
That's carpet.

I'm ready to conform.
Give me drugs and let me tighten up
While you let loose and accidentally love me.
That's toxic.

I'll text you back immediately.
And patiently await your response.
Rejoice in this moment you did for me.
That's carpet.

Give me advice.
So I can shoot you down.
So I can let you down.
So I can let you drown.
In my toxic civil war
Where I knew no solution would come
From my internal struggle.
But you took a side
And felt the wrath of one of my forces.
I can't help you.
Leave me alone.
That's toxic.

I walk around
By myself late at night.
I text you and say I need you.
Don't worry about where I am.
I needed to be alone,
But now I don't.
I just escaped misery and wanted to
Find you.
Find me,
Or I'll run away.
Block me,
So I can fester.
That's carpet.

Let me give you a million compliments.
Easily.
While you find one for me
And slip a shark a steak
Even though he'll always be hungry.
Sharks barely ever **** humans,
But they're so scary.
It's the hunger, it's the image.
It's not the behavior.
It's not.
The image is hunger.
Always give me more.
That's toxic.

I serve.
I help.
I pleasure, assist, provide
I care, then I care more.
Then I go home and rub off
The disappointment and fear of alone.
Then I care more.
And I wait for the love I give
To come to me.
And I think it will.
That's carpet.

Leave me alone.
Be honest.
That's what I need.
Let your honesty drown you
Because I'm honest too.
And I'll open up the floodgates,
Without remorse.
Sorry if you drown.
I overthink, bottle up, and overshare.
That's toxic.

Please love me.
Please act with me,
Act out the fantasies I have planned.
And re-enact the ones I did.
I'm toxic.
I'm carpet.
That's me.

When I get close to people,
I tend to overshare.
especially when I spot a shared interest.

You’re into cheesy memes?
I’ll flood your inbox with my favorites
You like scary things?
Even if I’m not always into them
I’ll find the ones I do like
thinking you’ll appreciate them too

But lately,
I’ve started to think...
maybe people don’t like this.
Because over time
they start to drift away.

It stings to be labeled a copycat
When all I've ever wanted is friendship
People close to me that I can be open with.

Maybe I'm meant to float alone
Like a golden jelly,
I should make my own pattern.

I wish I was silent.
Your words wouldn't be so violent
I'll stop seeing red, but a pastel violet
I just wish that I was quiet

I wish I wasn't so loud.
Maybe then you'd be proud
My words wouldn't draw a crowd
If I wished I didn't speak out loud

I wish I didn't always overshare
Spilling embarrassing secrets just so you'd care
So maybe one day I'll finally be aware
And I wish I didn't have to feel this despair

I just wish I wasn't ignored
But I didn't want myself to just be stored
And so that's when I poured and poured
I just wish I could get my reward.

I wish my mouth was sewn shut.
I could walk normally, instead of strut
Thanks for all your punches in the gut
I just wish I stopped talking, and so what?

you’re here so i’ll ramble on to you

repeat the words again with someone new

share and overshare

your life and it’s a record

cause you’re like a record

and i love my records

but i’m getting sick of me

lately, can’t do what i want

but what is it that i want?

Being human is a tricky thing,
I cannot blame that I am such a ****** one on the mere fact that it is my first.

There are plenty of things I've done for the first time and not **** at.
But being fair and morally correctly was never on that list.

I can list what I **** at though.

Being too much or not enough of myself,
The endless judgment that comes with being, as if I am not doing it as a lived experience.

I cannot stomach the thought of anyone ever truly seeing me despite how much I overshare.
Regardless of how many times you tell me you care, almost no one cares enough.

I like how acceptable it is
To overshare when you're drunk.

I like how acceptable anything is.
And how easy it is for people to forget.

Pretend you didn't say that one thing.
And I'll pretend I didnt hear you.

Step one
Make a friend
Get over your irrational fear
Of all other humans

Step two
Overshare
Tell them your life story
On the second day
Hope that they won't leave you

Step three
Worry
Every time you aren't there
You're probably being replaced
Your friend seems to like you
But everyone does at first

Step four
Beat yourself up
If you've been replaced
Then good for them
You were never good enough anyways
They have every right
To leave you behind

Step five
Push away
They don't need you
So they probably don't want you
They're only still here
Because they pity you
Or they don't know how to dump you
Do it for them

Step six
Wallow
You don't have anyone anymore
And you never will
Because you are never enough
For anyone
You did a good thing by leaving them
No one wanted you there
In the first place

Step seven
Placate
You lost your friends
But that's okay
You don't need friends anyways
And they certainly
Don't need you
You're just fine all by yourself
You're happier being alone
Right?

Step eight
Make a friend
Ger over your irrational fear
Of all other humans

I’m selfish, I know
I’m stubborn, which, may be worse
I overshare… just not enough
I tend to ignore the facts that may be relevant
I’m amusing, yet I can make you sad
You’ll always want to know more,
you’ll never can
Poetry writes itself, doesn’t it?
Now I’m here, stuck,
with the image you want for me
no makeup will cover the fact that
I am still sad about it
No poem will soothe me enough
To ever forget about it

Wish to be an unmoving mountain,
Snow clasped, untouched and cold.
A big lenticular cloud casting its shadow,
Over the peak, that has the view of a world.

I see myself failing to achieve this,
A curious mind is often a curse.
There's a little whisper and chatter,
Like a curious deer, I stick my antlers in

Someone has built a little dwelling,
I hear the stomp and the noise now.
As I watch,  don't wish to be bothered,
But stealthily I observe now.

Curious mind , Oh! it should explode,
If I don't tend to it now, so I must know,
Just a little peek , is all I want ,
Promise to tiptoe back safely.

I speak not, of the many misadventures,
That shaped my past and my being.
Intense reckonings that are a bit distasteful,
Remind me to stay away from the drama.

A peek is all it takes, the stranger knows now,
Let's get acquainted , they say to me.
I shake my head in a 'yes' reluctantly,
Oh curiosity! you have me in your grasp again!

Little by little, it seeps into your mind,
As curiosity and desire go hand in hand,
Just a tiny bit , I should know  their story,
What makes them , the way they are.

I invite them, into my own dwelling now.
Show them this minds artful creation,
Stories for stories in exchange,
From acquaintance to friends now.

Curiosity flows like the river now,
Washing away the sands of time,
Missing those cues to stop now,
Oversharing and sharing secrets.

They Talk, I talk , a little more everytime,
The never ending stories of times past.
Some more of the present now,
It seems, I put my trust in them.

I know their secrets but do I dare?
They know mine, and yes they can tell,
My failures, vulnerabilities and fears,
All's an open book for their eyes.

A book they gladly share and overshare,
Till the rim bursts and the pages swell.
All my bruises known to all,
Who else to blame and names do I call.

Alas, I have been a fool again!
Drowning to the oceans depth,
Wished I be the unmoving mountain,
Even reaching it's base is now uncertain.

You've done the deed and is yours only,
To bear the fruit of your own desire,
Distasteful, bitter and cold,
I sit undone, forlorn burning in a pyre.

Would you save me?
Could you be so kind as
To berate me?
Can you put me in my place
And wash me of my feelings daily?

Is there a way you can come inside me
And remove what's rotten?
Take away all of what I love,
Yet should undoubtedly be forgotten?

Do you hurt?
Do you possess too much risk?
Could I put you down
Without insatiable itch?

Can you use me once
And then throw me away?
Would you need to stay?
Would you make my mind do stunts?

Are you crazy?
Are you the enzyme that would complete me?
Could you delete the weak me,
And bring me suavity?

Can you take my life quality
And overall boost it?
Would I reap your benefit,
Grow numb, and lose it?

Do you take losers like me
And turn them into winners?
Would you make me thinner?
Would you take me away
From too many family dinners?

Will somebody find out?
Will they judge me? Or worse,
Would they care about me
out of pity, out of concern?

Would they heal me up,
Just enough so I'll stick around?
Will you make sound?
Will you call someone who figures out where I'm bound?

Would you get me locked up?
Would you isolate me?
Would you hate me?
Would I court you and dance with you and then you date me?

Would it be me and you in the end?
Are you a friend?
Can you be just a trend?
Can you make a swift visit?

Can you come inside me and leave,
And make me grow stronger,
And give me a good story and experience
To give to others out of caution?

Would I be cautious enough?
Would I be too cautious?
Would you make me nauseous?
Would you make me have fits?

Are you too strong?
Do your effects last too long?
Can you help me function?
Can you help me hold my head up?

Are you enough?
Will I have you and want more?
Will it be like everything else,
Where you won't even the score?

Will you not give me as much as I give you?
What will you then do,
Make me find a stronger you?

Are you the start of a path?
Are you a grand finale?
Are you stigmatized so much
That they won't hold rallies?

Would you make me stupid?
Would it be the good kind?
Will you take me from a pathetic nerd
To a lowdown town king?

Are you hopeless?
Do you make me go with the flow?
Do you make me know what to do
When I'm feeling really low?

Are you the updraft?
Are you the placation?
Are you the one who'll fill the hole
So I can just go on and live?

Would you change me?
Would you exchange me for the better model?
Are you tolerable,
Or are you too much to handle?

Do you have a message for me
That I am too weak for you?
Will you shut me up?
Will you make me complacent for life?

Will you give me better rhymes?
Will you be my latest muse for poems?
Is all of the interest I've shown
Seducing you to want me?

Can you want me back?
Can you give me warmth?
Can you hold me close
And make everything alright like some did?

Is this part of being a kid?
Are you a right of passage?
Will you make me a savage?
Will you make me a lady killer?
Will you make me say phrases like "lady killer"?

Will you delete my filter
So I can overshare even more?
Will you help me score?
Will you give me lustful motivations?

Are you patient?
Or do you come into me all at once?
Are you a cooling ice water,
Or a thousand hot suns?

Will I ever know?
Will you ever pull the trigger?
Will you make me not miss her,
Or her, or her?

Will I forget my past?
Will I remember my future?
Are you a suture
For all of the pain I've endured?

Will I be yours?
Or would it just be that you'd be mine?
Would you be fine?
Or would you walk up to the fine line?

Do you have remorse?
Are you the best course?
Is there something I could do better?
Are you offering an adventure?

Are you timing me?
Are you working your way to find me?
Do you have lust, too?
Do you have trust issues?

Do you also not want to be abandoned?
Are you stranded and you need me?
Would you free me?
Or are you some kind of jail?

Do you ever fail?
Or do you always get the job done?
Are you fun?
Or are you more a means to an end?

Are you a black hole?
Do you have a soul?
Would you make me lose mine?
Will you teach me about control,

About how to lose it,
About how to choose to use it well?
Will you send me to hell?
Or will you punch my shoulder and laugh?

Do you live up to the facts?
Are you not worth it?
Are you sometimes perfect, though?
Or is that just hearsay?

Will you make me fade away?
Will you drag me down?
Could you and I drown?
Could you and I be partners?

Could you stop rhyming?
Could you stop seducing me?
Could you end me?
Could you really end me?
Would you end me?

i can see you, you know
i can see when you look at me for just a hair too long
your wandering eyes when i wear a shirt a little too tight
or even your own brothers sweatpants

your laugh rings in my head like a bell, matching perfectly
with that smile and
those eyes
blue, not like his
yours are soft
his are icey

you have the same parents, there's only 15 months between you
youre closer to my age, but i have a thing for older boys
so the older brother it was
we weren't even friends
not even before i met your brother
maybe your eyes fall on my body because i look like her
i look like most of the girls you mess around with
modestly curvy,
mess of brown curls
tan skin, brown eyes

i shouldnt dream about you the way i do
i shouldnt think about you the way i do
my thoughts should most definitely be focused on the other "S" boy
in your family

i get too excited when you're going to be around
even though you make me so nervous
i could choke on the tension in the air
it's like being allergic to chocolate
you cant
you wont
you shouldnt EVER
IT SHOULD NEVER HAVE CROSSED YOUR BRAIN
but you just want a small bite
a nibble
just a taste
a single
sloppy
backseat
taste.

that's a lie though
a fantasy that never happened
i fantasize a lot about you
oh yes
and im glad im the only one with a key to my brain
i dont want anyone to have the slightest PEEK
inside the
Simon vault

most of my fantasies are so innocent
so elementary
it makes me
wonder if i ever even grew up
"maybe, just maybe, he'll look me in the eyes today"
"possibly even nod my way"
except the Simon i know doesnt do that
he doesn't even acknowledge me
ever

ive been told his only personality trait is drifting cars
sometimes my head wanders to
possibilities
but theyre so forbidden

sure
ive thought about everything there really is to think about
not only between
girl
and
boy
but between
friend
and
friend
once between
crush
and
crush
innocent kisses is all i think about
never more
i feel like im betraying the other "S" that way

i thought writing this would make me feel better
but instead i can feel 20 pounds
slowly lowering down on me
im getting hot
definitely not needy
hot under his sweatshirt
no, not Simon's
im not ******* stupid
i could never seek him out

Spencer wants to know
i want someone to know
not Spencer, not Karly, not anyone
Simon.

maybe its because of the faulty answer
he told me when someone
told me
anonymously (******* **** ****)
that he's got a crush
that mess of limbs and laughs and ..very.. little wit and
(god that smile will be the death of me)
on me
me
me
i guess i look similar to her
brown curls and tan skin and brown eyes
similar height, weight, cup size
hell, even our ***** are the same
we both wear loungewear like its regular clothes
same sense of humor
but like
ive got freckles, trauma, i overshare
shes fine, as far as i know

i need to drop it before i manifest feelings back
before i manifest your thoughts back to me
i dont know if i need them or if theyre the last thing i need

overshare
sad *****
pretty in
profiles
ignore
everyone
you feel
empty
no one else
can feel
fire on skin
post about
it online
though

that wasn't internet love
we weren't lovers
we could never be
we just talk over the encrypted airwaves
like chatty strangers meeting for the first time
at the grocery line
i'm always the one who tends to overshare
you always listen to all of my rants and woes
at 3am in sync with the echoing cuckoos
i know all of my telltales were like how songs
are played on repeat by a teenage avid fanatic
and by that you might just think i'm kinda lunatic
but i'm just a sad, sad girl
in need of a vent buddy
a friend, someone who never leaves
and you were there to fill up the role as what it seems
like a hero, a knight in shining armor
so i'm sending a million thanks, you've served my favor
and i hope you're doing great, wishing you all the best
oh God, how grateful i am that you exist
thank you for plugging in and staying up until 3am.

it’s… okay

sitting there with seven people who know me best surrounding me

eating cucumbers with salt and strawberry cheesecake ice cream

little bursts of laughter ringing out at updates at our lives

impromptu staring contests breaking out with one of the strangest and funniest men i’ve ever known

“how’s the fam”s and “i missed you guys”s cropping up every once in a while

it’s more than okay

it’s another home

i’ve always thought that home was supposed to be just one place, one location or person in which your soul blossoms like sunflowers in the summertime. i don’t think that now. your home can be with your cat with the upside down heart on his face, and with your mom whose hands smell like cool lotion and kindness, and your dad who sings paul mccartney too loud, and with your brothers who share tiktoks with you and laugh at your terrible jokes. your home can be with your friend with purple dyed hair, or your friend with red dyed hair, or your friend with the mustache, or your other friend with the mustache, or your roommate who gives too much, or your friend who wears big jewelery, or your friend with the round glasses and big smile. your home can be with your curly-haired soulmate hundreds of miles away. your home can be with a girl you met online who you overshare with every day. your home is expansive and all-encompassing and everything that makes you feel safe and warm and fuzzy and all the cheesy stupid things rom-coms are supposed to make you feel but not in a romantic way just in a

comfortable way

home is comfort

home is safety

home is home

It's 5 am im laying in bed
My heart feels as heavy as lead
Can I just write with it instead?
Can i project whats in my head?
Alright lets see if it can be said.
Lets start at the beginning
Its been 5 years and still no beat
I feel like my heart is concrete
My life is automatic
Everything is the same
It doesent matter if theres sun or rain
Wake up and dance do my thing
Why do i still not feel anything...
Pull up my phone swipe left and right
All this has done is maybe fill a night
Not fix the void in my life
Turn to the page my soul as the ink
But still all my heart does is sink.
Another day another week
What is this mess is all I can think
Why would anyone even give me a wink
My screen lights up
Notification recieved
Who's this staring at me?
Nah it simply can't mean a thing
Next day same deal.
Is what im seeing real?
Nah it cant be im the damaged goods
Can't you see all these cracks?
Oh wait I hide it to well
Im sure i look swell.
Alright lets see where it leads I mean shes pretty
Thats something anyone can see
But theres no denying shes a mystery.
Can i look around the corners of this bend?
See what lies down the road ahead?
"Im broken too is what she says"
This stoic person strong and tall?
There is no way that she could crumble and fall
But no it's true if you look hard enough
You can see the chips and cracks in her heart
Even though its tough
How could I think it was only me?
Im starting to see the cracks in her seams
Two people cold and broken
Each one cornered by their own emotion
I dont want to start any commotion.
Here we are talking each day
Relating to our individual pain
But there weird this is the more that we say
The lighter my burden is in a way.
Another late night
Another set of texts
All i want is her caress
Don't say too much
Don't overshare
Don't say you want to play with her hair
Don't kiss her
Don't say the wrong thing
That inner monologue still screaming
Can I really say something?
Is it okay to be rebuilding?
One night I tell her these things
And how does she reply to me?
My screen lights up
My heart tenses back up
Her reply is something i couldn't make up
Something that I would have never though to read
She tells me similar things
But whats most confusing
Is for all the beauty and good I see
When she looks in the mirror thats not what she sees
Its just truly puzzling
"Im broken im shattered, theres just too many pieces scattered"
That's no problem is what ill say
There has to be some way
I should know i've been broken enough
Wait why don't i feel as rough...
We are the same
Circumstances change
Im silently reassembling a frame
Take your pieces and fill in the blanks
You have already recreated my picture
I close my eyes and i see your face
You make my heart race
This old machine that was broken down
Now won't stop pounding or making this sound
Hopefully these words echo and resound
Hopefully you see you are found
Dont be scared to let your heart pour out
Your cracks can be filled
I have a new mold
You put me back together
Without even being told.
Was this poem for me or you?
Im starting to get lost too
I'll wrap this up with one more line
You are red
And I'm blue
What happens when you combine the two?

Some peoples flaws show up as red flags,
Mine, slightly differ -
My tendency to overshare,
Burns bright like a red flare,
After a joint or liquor,
My insecurities are exposed for what they truly are,
Nothing more than a party piece performed by a sad clown,
Empty words, but yet so deep -
You could drown.

Your tendency to overshare
You call “keeping it real,”
But there’s plenty we don’t need to know
Like how on your bio
You mention your fetish for cold steel
Between your **** cheeks
And call yourself a gun freak
Which in your case
Is just another way
Of calling yourself a ****** geek

Soft, easy to walk on
Pleasant, comfortable
Familial, forgettable
That's carpet.

Hateful, vengeful
Frustrated, ill-intentioned
Always mentioned, enfuriating
That's toxic.

Please love me.
Will you listen to me?
How are you doing?
That's carpet.

Please love me.
I'm empty.
I need you.
That's toxic.

I love you,
I'll do anything for you!
Please command me.
That's carpet.

I deal with your idiocies
I deal with your standards
I conform to fit inside your image.
That's toxic.

Can you hug me in front of
All of these people?
So that they know I'm worth something?
That's carpet.

After you listen to me,
I'll say I'm useless.
I'll say it's not your fault.
That's toxic.

I don't want to die
I don't want to talk,
I want you to trust me and tell me everything.
That's carpet.

All I want is ***
All I need is some warm body.
Give me the fuel I've run out of.
That's toxic.

I'll give you everything
And do whatever you want
For whatever feigned love you can muster.
That's carpet.

I'm ready to conform.
Give me drugs and let me tighten up
While you let loose and accidentally love me.
That's toxic.

I'll text you back immediately.
And patiently await your response.
Rejoice in this moment you did for me.
That's carpet.

Give me advice.
So I can shoot you down.
So I can let you down.
So I can let you drown.
In my toxic civil war
Where I knew no solution would come
From my internal struggle.
But you took a side
And felt the wrath of one of my forces.
I can't help you.
Leave me alone.
That's toxic.

I walk around
By myself late at night.
I text you and say I need you.
Don't worry about where I am.
I needed to be alone,
But now I don't.
I just escaped misery and wanted to
Find you.
Find me,
Or I'll run away.
Block me,
So I can fester.
That's carpet.

Let me give you a million compliments.
Easily.
While you find one for me
And slip a shark a steak
Even though he'll always be hungry.
Sharks barely ever **** humans,
But they're so scary.
It's the hunger, it's the image.
It's not the behavior.
It's not.
The image is hunger.
Always give me more.
That's toxic.

I serve.
I help.
I pleasure, assist, provide
I care, then I care more.
Then I go home and rub off
The disappointment and fear of alone.
Then I care more.
And I wait for the love I give
To come to me.
And I think it will.
That's carpet.

Leave me alone.
Be honest.
That's what I need.
Let your honesty drown you
Because I'm honest too.
And I'll open up the floodgates,
Without remorse.
Sorry if you drown.
I overthink, bottle up, and overshare.
That's toxic.

Please love me.
Please act with me,
Act out the fantasies I have planned.
And re-enact the ones I did.
I'm toxic.
I'm carpet.
That's me.