this will most likely the last poem i write for you.
i'm finally over you.
finally over everything you put me through.
seeing you again, after everything, was the closure i needed.
but at what cost?
i'm not sure things will ever be healed between us.
we tolerate each other, even enjoy our time together.
but at the end of the day you *******
R U I N E D M E
and i don't think i'll ever forgive you for that.
goodbye m. *******, for everything.
there is nothing i wouldn't do to relive last night.
i want nothing more than to just sleep in your arms one more time.
i feel so ******* sick
i cant stop thinking about you
i want it to end,,,, i don't know how you feel
im too scared to ask
i hope you dont feel as disgusting as i do
but part of me wants this to be mutual,
this raw desire,
im so ******* terrified
of how attatched to you i became so quickly,
the thought of this being unrequited is devastating to me
but the thought of you feeling the same fear i do,
is even scarier.
i can't even begin to describe how i felt in that moment.
when you looked in my eyes before pulling me close and whispering,
'i'm so happy i met you.'
how lucky i felt when you fell asleep with your head on my chest.
how grateful i was when you made that stupid ******* playlist for me.
how content i felt in your arms.
how comfortable i was with you in such a small amount of time.
how devastated i was to say goodbye.
how i feel now, writing this.
how i'll feel tomorrow, undoubtedly thinking about you.
i could never describe the impact you have had on me.
but i want you to know
exactly how much you mean to me.
my heart is aching, yearning for you.
is it selfish that i hope you're feeling this way too?
why am i feeling this way again,
its been almost a year.
its not even you anymore.
for the longest time i blamed you,
but now its him.
he makes me feel the exact same way you did,
maybe it was my fault all along?
i tell myself i’m over you.
but every time i hear your name,
i realize that’s a lie.