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HRTsOnFyR Dec 2016
I am no longer waiting for a special occasion; I burn the best candles on ordinary days.
I am no longer waiting for the house to be clean; I fill it with people who understand that even dust is Sacred.
I am no longer waiting for everyone to understand me; It’s just not their task
I am no longer waiting for the perfect children; my children have their own names that burn as brightly as any star.
I am no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop; It already did, and I survived.
I am no longer waiting for the time to be right; the time is always now.
I am no longer waiting for the mate who will complete me; I am grateful to be so warmly, tenderly held.
I am no longer waiting for a quiet moment; my heart can be stilled whenever it is called.
I am no longer waiting for the world to be at peace; I unclench my grasp and breathe peace in and out.
I am no longer waiting to do something great; being awake to carry my grain of sand is enough.
I am no longer waiting to be recognized; I know that I dance in a holy circle.
I am no longer waiting for Forgiveness. I believe, I Believe.

-Mary Anne Perrone

Photo: Ingmari Lamy
Via Sacred Dreams
K Balachandran Oct 2013
Her funky , modish,  lingerie on a clothesline hung to dry,
doesn't bring to mind any wild imagery,
he just sees that: an undergarment
decency wouldn't permit to make an exhibit like this,
"My God!" he realizes with a shock"The midlife crisis has already started"
Nigdaw Jul 2019
I bought some Dr. Martens
a leather jacket to go with
T-shirts, logo'd
Nirvana, *** Pistols, Incubus

but what I wanted to buy
was the swagger
the intense feeling
of not giving a ****
I'm going to live forever
and there's nothing you can do
about it
invincible
with attitude
spitting in the street

I used to watch The ******
Motorhead
Conflict

I was there as the Police
went in ******* horseback

but the only attitude I found
was the young kid serving
looking me up and down

thinking

midlife crisis
you fat, balding
grey haired old ***.
Joshua Adam Jul 2015
Trust in Faith

It's raining and the sun has returned home
although I am by myself, yet I am not alone
mind engages intellect, with time to consider
how this heart of mine, has grown so bitter

Not long ago, reflections of the past were a delight
then in a brief moment, my happiness took flight
once having a life with meaning, love and security
now with remorse and desire, for a heart with purity

Continuing to pursue life normally, while anxieties drown the mind
no matter what I might do, any sense of happiness seems confined
confused with mixed emotions, and knowing that they are both true
yet despite my conflict, still mustering the will to tell her, I love you

With each and every passing day, I look forward to behold
once again to greet those yesterdays, those yesterdays of old
but those yesterdays are buried, the fear of the future takes hold
all of what now remains, are those few tomorrows left to unfold

Worries must stem from this lack of control, how not to consider
thinking of how few years are left to live, could anyone not be bitter
the unknown of what the rest of your life will bring, an awesome fear
when you advance in years, only then does it become all too clear

Times passes, the body ages, memories flounder, and reality sets in
maybe tomorrow the mail will arrive, addressed to: The Next of Kin
finding yourself in an emotional upheaval, there is but one thing to do
forage deep down inside, and uncover your faith, your only rescue

Faith will give you the strength, it will guide you to trust in the One above
fears of the future and of the unknown, disappear in this world called love
experiencing midlife crisis, something you can and will successfully overcome
but first never stop searching, trusting in G-d, and to depression never succumb
A poem that describes a man's midlife crisis and a successful way to deal with it
ioan pearce Mar 2010
at middle age there comes a stage
a crossroads with red lights
confused with lifes directions
straight on, left, or right

it only took a second
to realise i love fun
so i turned my **** around
went back to twenty one
a certain morning stiffness
in your joints

you find your face
in the bathroom mirror
and wish you hadn't

the puzzled wisdom
    of middle age
wavers from your eyes
deepening wrinkles
   of many laughs
   many frowns

   how many more?

   nevermore ?!

the room becomes aflutter
with poesque ravens
the presence of absences
fills the void
your life is on the brink
of deconstructing itself
to the periphery of the universe
a discourse of silence
forever becoming ... becoming ...
what...?

   nevermind!

so

you close your eyes
   hard
for a minute or two

when you look again
you meet the stare
of a not-so-bad-looking
man in his best years
  
   graying sideburns
   receding hairline
   20 pounds too many
      BUT
   a firm decision
   to work them off
  
   still a bit sleepy
   yet determined
   to shave
      get dressed
      have breakfast
  
   and teach
   that wonderful seminar
   on 19th century poetry
   to eager graduate students
ok okay May 2019
My midlife crisis has begun
I'm only nineteen
But I'll be dead by forty
asdgisdsafodasfasdsagdsffgD
when I ask myself
what I am
I am not sure I know the answer

a ‚mature‘ man
of 70 plus

grandpa
of 11 grandchildren

yesterday‘s
person of authority

mentor for young ones
still looking for themselves

all of the above
or none of it

in the end only those
who read these lines
decide
Mike Hauser Nov 2013
Hanging out new to the scene
So often wonder what that means
As I sit in front of the world's screen
Started in on ...Googling

I typed in a single word
Pressed enter for the Google search
Took me down the path absurd
Where all the lines were blurred  

From there I ventured off the path
Wish I'd known there's no turning back
Marveled at the knowledge that I lack
Like how to whittle your own baseball bat

Just in case you're wondering
Midgets don't melt in the rain
Who doesn't think that that's insane
As I dive deeper into Googling

The art of bathing a Hindu rat
Skinning a two-headed Siamese cat
The taking of the perfect nap
Standing up while keeping your lap intact

How to delicately pierce a Rhino's ear
Dressing up then down a deer
50 different ways a man can cheer
While toasting his favorite Micro beer

Abstract art using cotton *****
How to paint between the lines on paisley walls
Teaching Yankees how the South says ya'll
Lost episodes of the show called Lost

Food served upon the world's menus
Even specialties from Timbuktu
Why the sea is green and the sky is blue
As my googling madness continues

More artwork this time with the jam of toes
How to pick your friends but never your friend's nose
Cleaning of the house without a stitch of clothes
The whole time being careful with the vacuum hose

80's Hairbands I used to like
That now know what bald feels like
Making a homemade Hindenburg kite
One that lands this time

How to handle midlife like a man
Taking a survey of what you could have been
Raising Spider Monkey's  in the comfort of your den
As I keep on Googling

I now find myself Googling out in front
As I'm Googling from behind
Googling up as I'm Googling down
To the left and to the right
I've learned how to gargle Google
That's a well known Google fact
And if you don't believe me
You can even Google that
Serenity Elliot Sep 2014
I have travelled the world,
                                               Climbed tall ships at sea,
       But I still do not know
                                               Who I want to be


Stare out the window,
                                       What does life mean to you?
How do we know,
                                       What we are meant to do?


I am wild in spirit
                                 But I can’t seem to      grow        it.

Please someone                           help me,

                                              Help me to show it.
JG O'Connor Dec 2017
I had a midlife crisis yesterday,
So I bought a yacht.
Now I’m going to live to be over a 100,
Isn’t that amazing?
Maybe I should repeat it,
Every decade or so.
Just to keep it topped up,
Like a pay as you go phone.
This is the secret to eternal life.
Michael T Chase Apr 2021
By value of how facts change how I view how I know, they are a degree apart.
I believe at all is because of Jesus' Spirit communicated by the mass devotion of Christians (AllahuAbha).
I must act to friends as if in devotion.
No pain, no gain.
Solving real problems is the only way to learn math.
Accomplishment veils my mind from learning.
The quantity of information is endless.
Money is needed for almost everything.
Very hard issues are sometimes only resolved by quitting.
Fools are the greatest disease.
Emotional support is the strongest support.
Emotion and belief are tied together in the male world.
Emotion and kindness are tied together in the mixed world.
An able body gives many duties.
Rules are a wiseman's trajectory and the fool's posion.
A good roommate reminds me of my father.
School cannot give me a job unless I want it.
No betrayal is worse than a machine of lies.
Many creative minds are utterly wrong.
The people in utter power and control of the world have a wisdom which fools envy, rebels curse, and the wise fall in line.
The world's wisdom is cursed by the impoverished, and the impoverished have no worldly wisdom.
A heart well-broken can have lasting effects for a decade (or more?).
Once I realized no one helps the strong, I've found no one soft (except my parents).
All life and energy is information, and it all operates at the same level of intelligence.
Evolution is not a staircase but rather a bush or seaweed.
I never really regret saying anything, because I wouldn't have learned otherwise.
The yet-to-marry or the undivorced may always fancy a wedding.
Society's institutions play a large role in adult formation, and still play a role, however removed (or not), in midlife.
Children will always be the most valuable asset.
Youth will always be the life of the world's party.
Obey competent doctors.
Obey competent doctors.
Obey competent doctors.
Sometimes rewiring the brain through drugs is the only way to straighten the path.
Sometimes visions come, giving wonder, however brief.
The parties of the unsaved are always the best.
Don't be afraid to stick out like a sore thumb, otherwise you'll grow tired of hiding it amongst the fingers.
Parents have a profound psychological impact on children.
ET's are awesome.
Physics wasn't loved until it was hated.
Space travel will always make us dream.
Beauty speaks to all ages.
Nothing can stop the tirade of a rebel.
Be careful who babysits your kids.
Be careful who babysits your kids.
Be careful who babysits your kids.
Astrology can **** all natural wondering in life.
Astrology bestows direction for the future (now that you know it).
Nothing is worse than a person who blames everything on astrology except someone who blames everything on everyone else.
Yes.
There is nowhere to stow my mental
and emotional machinery during the long
punctuated silent separations we bear--
Bound by some far flung forgotten
fantasy made with enthusiastic promise
Our hope spanned across the telescopic horizon
transporting our propositions to dreamscape reality
It all crumbles when your intent becomes sterilized
with programming and artificial attachments that
hold your heart prayer wheel prisoner
You begin to lower your standard
You begin to entertain Dark Age emptiness inside
your seven day diary devising a way to escape
while wandering from room to room

Written by Sara Fielder © June 2015
In the mustardseed sun,
By full tilt river and switchback sea
  Where the cormorants scud,
In his house on stilts high among beaks
  And palavers of birds
This sandgrain day in the bent bay's grave
  He celebrates and spurns
His driftwood thirty-fifth wind turned age;
  Herons spire and spear.

  Under and round him go
Flounders, gulls, on their cold, dying trails,
  Doing what they are told,
Curlews aloud in the congered waves
  Work at their ways to death,
And the rhymer in the long tongued room,
  Who tolls his birthday bell,
Toils towards the ambush of his wounds;
  Herons, steeple stemmed, bless.

  In the thistledown fall,
He sings towards anguish; finches fly
  In the claw tracks of hawks
On a seizing sky; small fishes glide
  Through wynds and shells of drowned
Ship towns to pastures of otters. He
  In his slant, racking house
And the hewn coils of his trade perceives
  Herons walk in their shroud,

  The livelong river's robe
Of minnows wreathing around their prayer;
  And far at sea he knows,
Who slaves to his crouched, eternal end
  Under a serpent cloud,
Dolphins dive in their turnturtle dust,
  The rippled seals streak down
To **** and their own tide daubing blood
  Slides good in the sleek mouth.

  In a cavernous, swung
Wave's silence, wept white angelus knells.
  Thirty-five bells sing struck
On skull and scar where his loves lie wrecked,
  Steered by the falling stars.
And to-morrow weeps in a blind cage
  Terror will rage apart
Before chains break to a hammer flame
  And love unbolts the dark

  And freely he goes lost
In the unknown, famous light of great
  And fabulous, dear God.
Dark is a way and light is a place,
  Heaven that never was
Nor will be ever is always true,
  And, in that brambled void,
Plenty as blackberries in the woods
  The dead grow for His joy.

  There he might wander bare
With the spirits of the horseshoe bay
  Or the stars' seashore dead,
Marrow of eagles, the roots of whales
  And wishbones of wild geese,
With blessed, unborn God and His Ghost,
  And every soul His priest,
Gulled and chanter in young Heaven's fold
  Be at cloud quaking peace,

  But dark is a long way.
He, on the earth of the night, alone
  With all the living, prays,
Who knows the rocketing wind will blow
  The bones out of the hills,
And the scythed boulders bleed, and the last
  Rage shattered waters kick
Masts and fishes to the still quick starts,
  Faithlessly unto Him

  Who is the light of old
And air shaped Heaven where souls grow wild
  As horses in the foam:
Oh, let me midlife mourn by the shrined
  And druid herons' vows
The voyage to ruin I must run,
  Dawn ships clouted aground,
Yet, though I cry with tumbledown tongue,
  Count my blessings aloud:

  Four elements and five
Senses, and man a spirit in love
  Tangling through this spun slime
To his nimbus bell cool kingdom come
  And the lost, moonshine domes,
And the sea that hides his secret selves
  Deep in its black, base bones,
Lulling of spheres in the seashell flesh,
  And this last blessing most,

  That the closer I move
To death, one man through his sundered hulks,
  The louder the sun blooms
And the tusked, ramshackling sea exults;
  And every wave of the way
And gale I tackle, the whole world then,
  With more triumphant faith
That ever was since the world was said,
  Spins its morning of praise,

  I hear the bouncing hills
Grow larked and greener at berry brown
  Fall and the dew larks sing
Taller this thunderclap spring, and how
  More spanned with angles ride
The mansouled fiery islands! Oh,
  Holier then their eyes,
And my shining men no more alone
  As I sail out to die.
Gil Nam Jun 2014
Burning bodies for the sake
of nothing but to wake
Make believe, it is eluding;
My wish for you to feel
The anger I am brooding.
Lost for words May 2014
The goo-goo gaggle gobble grammar
New eggs standing in a roe
Alphabetting the Blurb is Cuckoo
School kid robots on the go
Fopdoodles questing for an ology
Dilly-dally on Patagonian trek
Mead-merry escalators of industry,
Or dudes who lakh in debt?
A billion ****** bridegrooms
In taffeta take-away
Cherry-picking for the species
From the matrix DNA
Muggles meet at midlife
For a Royal English tea
Swapping apps for homemade yogurt
Just a wee bit too PC
And so the dames riddle their speechcraft
On the doublespeak roundabout
Before Alzheimer's wicked edit
Skirts the bone-house bounders **out
This poem was written as an entry to a Telegraph newspaper competition: a poem of no more than 100 words which includes at least 25  from a list of 100 chronicling the history of the English language. The selected words are in bold. It didn't win :)
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/8824676/From-Riddle-to-Twittersphere-David-Crystal-tells-the-story-of-English-in-100-words.html
Okie Cavies Jan 2016
Rushing downstream
everythinggoesbysofast
gasping above the waterline
idontrecognizeanythinganymore
grasping at rocks and branches
wherethehellaminow
heaving breaths haul me ashore
ilaygasping&vomiting;
where the hell am I?
9/29/15
Tim Knight May 2013
I see timber, I see my Dad.*
The wrinkled grain grin
sits lost on his face,
he’s selling his timeless record collection:
the finest midlife crisis since records began.

Lined bits of paper with a pen and plan,
bass players and guitarists are all being sold,
including the front man,
microphone, monitor and stand.

Under the slim light, what’s
going to be sold is exposed
ready for a thorough cleaning
of the black gold moulds.

None of us are allowed near, we have been told,
this is a strict operation and it’s under control,
he starts spouting tiny liner note quotes
none of us understand, we need a translator- grab your coats.

We returned to a mess of a man:
he did not go through with his midlife crisis plan.
His extra 3000 children in their sleeves
can sleep safe tonight knowing that everything will be all right.
this poem is from a free PDF pamphlet called DEPARTURE DATE, you can download it from here >> http://tinyurl.com/departuredatepoetry
JP Jan 2016
Why I Like her?
her image resembles
one of my close associates or
one of my relatives or friends or
was like my dream heroine…

Why I Propose her?
coz she matches
the matching come out of my projection
the projection came out of my Inner woman
it comprises of part of dream woman and mostly of my mom

why I Fear her?
when I was close with her
her reality doesn't match my projection
the same is the case for her
we understood our reality mismatch  our projection

Why I Divorce or continuing my life ?
When projection not met
absence of  children's means this is the stage we depart in
the name of Divorce
If we have children, they become a thread or ******* to continue..
Now, our reality become real and slowly we alter our projections
the alteration continue to happens, till the child take our place
and gradually we loose our identities

Why I Revenge?
When the children grows and move out
Our projection slowly looses our alteration
and the thread become weak
this stage, strong heart look for Affair
again affair was not the solution. finally, live in despair

Why I continue?
weak heart continue with the same partner
Now we feel its too late to regain our self
and experience  'a kind of Death'
Both bring our true reality and revenge like
small fight, small torture, small separation
was done more carefully by holding the thread
that goes on till death

This way of living called as "life"
by our forefathers, I too believe
as a hypocrite…
Vicki Cheek Sep 2023
Midlife Crisis

We have all heard the expression
Don't lose your head over a piece of tail.
Some have not experienced it yet,
Some of us know it all too well.

That giddy feeling when you have
caught someone's eye.
You go around with a smile on your face
And only you know why.

You want to shout about it
From the rooftops.
Midlife crisis stories are made from this galore,
Because you have been able to feel that spark
That reminds you of your youth once more.

You feel young and alive
Maybe for the last time in life.
You throw away the old for the new
Your old life, your children,
Your husband or your wife.

That last chance of feeling
That flutter in your heart.
It's like a drug
And you were hooked from the start.

Sometimes when it looks, sounds and feels
Too good to be true,
You will turn around one day
And realize you were just being used.

You threw everything that
you were sure of away.
To feel young again
But it only lasted a day.

No more smiles, no more flutters,
No one there when you get home.
You caused all that heartache
And now you are alone.

You succumbed to temptation.
Oh, if you only knew
That on down the road,
You would be the one who got *******.
Aaron LaLux Sep 2016
Lost in Lisbon,
just me and my addictions,
and when I say addictions,
I mostly mean my addiction to women,

caught in the same cliche,
but I can’t seem to get away,
like a dream that keeps repeating,
same place same case just a different day,

thinking that somehow *** can replace,
the actual act of acceptance,
thinking that regret can somehow set,
the pace for some sort of repentance,

but nothing changes,
except the weather and sometimes the faces,
found I’m still lost,
I’m a great shot but what’s the worth of a great shot that’s aimless?

No target,
no goals,
just a free market,
that’s completely uncontrolled.

There are no rules,
there’s no reality on which to base this face it,
we are all lost that is for sure,
only difference is most of us don’t want to admit it.

Addicted,
to the chaos it’s such a turn on,
even when I feel sick,
and my heart’s gone cold I’m still burnin’,

she’s turning,
her back on me,
says she doesn’t want to have ***,
and I understand her exactly,

sometimes I wish I wasn’t a man,
sometimes I wish we were all brilliant light,
want to leave my dull bland body so bad,
that if someone came to take my life I wouldn’t even fight.

I don’t fight her,
she says no so I sit up and ask her to leave,
it’s almost 4 o’clock in the afternoon already,
and she’s got a flight to catch that’s leaving for Italy,

and it is then that I see that she’s leaving me,
both figurative and literally,
which I guess I accept because one fact,
we all leave everyone and everything eventually,

even ourselves,
the cards we were dealt,
were bizarre as a guitar played like like a bagpipe by a Celt,
and even though we feel no more well hell at least there was a time we felt,

oh well,
I understand now that you’re timeless and your love is priceless,
fairwell,
we win some and we lose some I guess that’s what this Game of Life is,

blameless and shameless in Lisbon having a midlife crisis.

Living in cities of sin singing songs of wrong still trying to be righteous,
lost as a lark trying to parrot a song to carry us along and guide us,
flying through this civic blueprint climbing high we deny lies and define all aliveness,
and even though your iris is sublime and so is mine we can’t seem to see through our own blindness,
  
like trying to adjust to the distrust that we feel when we’re told that someone loves us,
and the ironic thing is that in your strangeness I see a similar likeness.

We lost us.

We lost us and our fondness for any sort of conscious conscience,
so now we’re in love with fervid thugs and hooligans that are heartless,
and when we’re asked why we’re in love with this life we say because we are artist,
which partially explains why I’m in Portugal in pain with a beauty that’s stunningly monstrous.

Lost in this,
constant concoction of consciousness,
lost in this,
city by the ocean caught in the North Atlantic drifts,

lost in Lisbon,
just me and my addictions,
and when I say addictions,
I mostly mean my addiction to women…

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

20/08/16
*** is a drug...
Daniel Kenneth Mar 2017
my dreams are suicidal
my nightmares are eternal
my bank account is empty
my house is not a home
my loved one did abandon me
my body it is failing me
my twenty first birthday is approaching
i just hope i'm not alone
Judy Klein Oct 2013
The Mirror of Life
looking into the mirror who do I see
Some one looking back, and it was me.
Once such a beauty and always on stage
Years later she looking back and how she has aged.
Aging is a beautiful and full of wisdom
It does pay a price and them some.
Some times what appears we lost,
it was time to leave be hind.
Midlife is not a crisis;
it's a time of rebirth to find
it's a time not to accept your death;
you have a lot of wonderful years left
It's a time to accept your life.
live it as there no to morrow
and never a day with any sorrow
The mirror of Life
You are beautiful and that so right
aging is a miracle of process
and it just don't happen over night.
But look in the mirror and who do you see
Some one beautiful looking back at me.
finish
Kitty Parson Jun 2013
Not even kidding.
I have been in the throes
of a sort of mid-life crisis,
because I can't have
any more babies.

I ******* LOVE BABIES

My best friend is pregnant
right now. Soooo pregnant.
It's ******* adorable.
And I, I am unable to have

ANY MORE BABIES.

BUT I LOVE BABIES.

No ****, you guys,
I really like to have babies.

I am *******

GOOD AT HAVING AWESOME BABIES.

My ****** was like
baby ******* paradise.
And I just had
a miniature midlife crisis
over the fact that
I had to use the word
"was" right there.

If I still had that ******,
I would be forced
to use multiple layers
of protection
to ward off fertilization, and

MORE BABIES.

I LOVE BABIES.

I can gestate like a *******.
Oh wait, maybe
more like a ****** mother,

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

******* BABIES!

And when I give birth,
I do it kamikaze style,
with only a couple minutes
notice for the attending physician.

BLINKED? OH NO, SORRY
DR. *******,
YOU ******* MISSED IT!

Back when I had a ******,
like last year,
I was fertile
like a thing that is incredibly fertile.
You had to put an army
between me and my ******,
or some **** would go on
and I would be all,
oh! A new kid!
That's inconvenient!
But man,
you know,
you birth a child,
it's insanely difficult
on a level incomprehensible
to anyone who hasn't done it,
you work through it.

And then ******* hell,
you're the mother
of 3 teenagers
and your very productive
****** is all

*******, SERIOUSLY?

And you put it out of  
your misery, and then,
a few months later,
you think

it would be nice to have another baby.
eequivocal Feb 2014
we both work in the postal service
but neither one of us
has ever sent a single love letter
maybe it's the drill of the job
maybe its the grind of the machines
or the clack of the keyboards
grind turns to a drone
and i look around to what we thought
were industrialized patents
were actually what we had once considered our friends
was that where they disappeared to?
instead of quitting the dead end
i had assumed too fearful to follow the leap
they hid away in mail bins and P.O. boxes
i thought i was alone
maybe i was
maybe they really did leave
their souls gone
with empty shells of bodies
remnants of what once was
yes
i am still alone
those who i knew have fled the building
in search of a more meaningful existence
winding in up in god knows where
anywhere but here
these gluttonous pantomimes only accept hopefuls
midlife crises who leap
at the opportunity for promotion
like increasing payroll would reduce their age
same as the twenty five year old liberal art grads who need a filler
to help pay rent while they work
on what will collectively become hundreds of thousands of volumes unpublished
here i stand
twenty eight years old
and strip off my badge
as it falls to the floor
i walk out the door
say hello to the next boarding train
(last stop your hometown)
and goodbye to the dead end road.
Carmelo Antone Jan 2013
I’ve been looking for the dark side of the son,
I’ve been trying to poke holes in what props you up,
I’ve been desperate to bring your generational growth,
To a stunted halt,

Founding Fathers to doubt,
Slave owners who colonized under god,
A place ripe for ideological blows,
And the collapse of what we believed before,
We had a chance to see,
How much isn’t known,

I’ve been creeping in your crib,
Under the bed with the boogie man,
The sadness you feel throughout your adulthood,
And the death you see after your midlife awakening,
Please fear me,

Growing amongst others that act like humans,
Grouped amongst an idealistic species,
Where they’ve preached individualistic babies,
When your genesis,
Exemplifies our resemblance,

Beacon of truth,
I will end you,
How dare you dismantle me,
Despite my invisibility,

We will end your corruptive ways,
The enemy in the corner,
An American insurgency,
The lack of the people’s ability,
To fight for the freedoms we perceive!

Erroneous burn in hell,
I’ll make sure I continue to swell,
Instead of letting you become the reason I fell,

Revelations will become your reality if you think I’ll be exiting,
You insignificant ****, how dare you think I will spatter like mud,
I didn’t come from violent thrusts, and a mother infected by another’s muck,

I rose because of your intolerance,
I am the after birth of a racist,
Founding Father’s with economics,
Not bothered by the ******* of another human,

Not to deny the atrocities of my ancestors time,
Yet we are the turning of the tide,
We are the generation that will correct the rhyme,
The ones that will begin the age of man’s prime,

We are the flow of a barbarian bloodline,
We are the evolutionary wonder that continues to surprise,

Learning to compromise is not a means to survive,
You fool humanity is a fire burning out,
And I am the evidence of Mother’s doubt in man,

A germ was your genesis
And I am your omega,
You insignificant residue,

I will end you,
We will defy you,
I will smother your existences,
We will overcome your dominance,

Justifying my social anxieties,
We need to fixate this desire,
To set foot on the land for the free,
To cultivate minds of humanity,
Frank Sterncrest Dec 2012
' 1. I read the online account of a man who, after fifteen years of hitting gascid – nitrous oxide and acid in tandem – developed a B-vitamin deficiency. This may sound rather benign, but it made him begin to lose feeling in his fingertips. The numbness spread up his arms to his core, and he was soon paralyzed. After what he summarized as the better part of a year of ‘psychological horror,’ he emerged from the episode fully functional again, but with one caveat; he had fried his neurons so badly that every single incoming sensation from each nerve in his body was received by his brain as agonizing pain. He has spent the last fourteen years enduring this. He has tried to commit suicide several times, simply to end his constant physical suffering. He is still here today. His will is stronger than I can imagine; I was afraid while reading his story.

2. The guy who said ‘all women want in a man is confidence’ wasn’t ugly or poor.

3. Once, I chugged enough coffee and energy drinks on a long-empty stomach to experience a moderate overdose, to the tune of something between five hundred and seven hundred milligrams of caffeine. This may sound rather benign, but as I laid on the floor of my high school’s bathroom, convulsing, I had, up ‘til that point, never lived through a more unappealing chemical episode. The nausea was all-consuming. At two thousand milligrams, I would die outright. At the level I had ingested, my heart beat three times every second for five and a half hours. During the peak hours, I could have sworn I hit a steady two hundred-plus beats-per-minute. I hammered out a several-page text to my father with the same haste, cataloging my plight. My heart probably aged fourteen years, enduring that.

4. There was a time in my life when I stopped looking into mirrors. It took me seven years to develop a coping mechanism. Ten years after that, I found myself spending minutes with eyes locked in the mirror, examining that foreign face. Some call it confidence. That behavior scares me more than anything else in my life.

5. I stopped looking at your familiar face a couple years ago. I was afraid of your gaze begetting your touch, and those lightning bolts of pain shooting from each of your fingertips, through the front of my torso into my spine. I am afraid to tell you that you’re hardly on my mind as much as myself these days. I am not confident that I could tell you this, were I given the chance. My heart is facing its midlife crisis now, and I am still figuring out how to treat you like an adult would.
A Thomas Hawkins Jul 2011
Is this my midlife crisis,
my “what’s it all about?”
Everything that once were certain
is now vague and filled with doubt

The friends I thought I’d have forever
one by one have stepped aside
I’ve lost my grip on oh so many things
despite how hard I’ve tried

The urge to run away, escape,
grows stronger every day.
Am I unique in my frustrations,
or do others feel this way?

The things around me, they mean nothing,
most of the people, less than that.
These four walls around me are not home
it’s just the place I hang my hat.

When I consider my life’s purpose
there’s really nothing I can say
It's enough to do to figure out
the purpose of this day.
Follow me on Twitter @athomashawkins
http://twitter.com/athomashawkins
John Ryles Oct 2011
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t turn away
I need you now
I beg you stay
I did wrong
Can you forgive?
Abused your trust,
I gave in to lust.
Now I see clear,
It's losing you I fear.
How could I be tempted?
Easily giving in,
Midlife crisis my only sin.
Although no excuse,
Now I plead,
It is you my Love that I need.
Please forgive me.
K Balachandran Jan 2014
Will, makes the body a fiddle, every string vibrates with music,
life continues to be a bacchanalia, for long, from teens to midlife,
the weakening of pleasure seeking streak, brings spirit
to the center of thought, meditativeness brings connect
with the all pervading spirit, then poetry of the universe seep in
ecstatic moments of body, mind and soul, one is convinced,
are soaked in poetic cadence, oozing from the divine spring within.
One in a million Feb 2014
Where am i ?
                 What i'm doing here ?
I'm looking through my shadow
                 But what do i see ?
Black soul , maniac thoughts
                 How am i still living ?
I'm "almost" destroyed mentally
                  Physically strong as rock
Why can't i control myself ?
                  I'm so insecure , immature
I'm having Schizophrenia
                  Dementia praecox
Fundamental derangement of my mind
                  Probably caused by an emotional disorder
Emotional illness affecting in my personality
                  I'm Neurosis , Neurasthenic
Nerve dysfunction  


                 I'm walking away
To forget all this pain
                 To walk and never get back
Part of my body already dead
                 I don't know if i'm going to survive
From this midlife crisis
                This is nothing that elapsed
I'm sure it's just the beginning of hell
                 Half spent
Not much left
                 That's how it used to be
That's how it going to be
                Struggling with desease
Smiling is hard but easy
                As much as slutty
Psychotic confession
                Irritability
I hope you like this poem ! it has alot of cold and ****** emotions ! if you look deeply inside you'll see the meaning of this poem ! it's depressing and most of it is true except for being psychopath , neurosis , .... It's just my imagination
RJ Days Mar 2018
How cool I was with undercut
pretending then Mohawk
playing rugby pretending
brunching with fab hipsters
pretending enjoying arcane debates
about particle physics pretending
and social justice pretending
loving tall beautiful black boy
pretending and playing Tetris til dawn
or napping on the couch pretending
in fashionable Old City coworking
space pretending cuddled alone
as rain struck clear panes windowed walls
facade pretending that was my life once,
author in a zine pretending, cheese day denizen
pretending amid all that a sprawling
vacuum of identity pretending
and isolation pretending despite
lunching with a priest I met
pretending online or long, meandering
walks to the park pretending
with Mr. Wiggles and biking up
Passyunk pretending through the market
that smelled of live chickens and grease
bemoaning my loneliness pretending at
row-house holiday parties hosted
by midlife fairies & queers pretending
with dreams with drugs
pretending alcohol *** and roof deck
skyline views pretending pop up gardens
live music filling midsummer streets
pretending same streets
filled with seasonal dirt
artisanal water pretending
bottle cap eyes cigarette **** nose
garbage mouth snowman melting
away pretending going
the way of brotherly
love. How cool I was inhabiting
my urban life pretending
I was there.
Dylan Rodrigue May 2012
2 decades and it almost feels like another midlife crisis
My head was too big to come out of mommy's ******
Letter C in the stomach, out pops the baby covered in muck
But I wasn't sad to be here. I was ready.

Now the baby has ****** hair.
******* on a cigarette instead of a *** or a thumb.
Things have changed and everything is the same
There was a message I forgot as I was being lifted out of the large round belly
Something I somehow reclaimed much later...
"Everythings Okay," said the Eye on May 14, 1992.
RyanMJenkins Sep 2013
Just when I feel everything seems to be coming together, I take a step back. What do I really funking want? The college idea sounds promising, and I'd be going to learn more about music and advance in that respect. Great. I've been paying on debts for a long time now. I don't mind having little money, but I've literally been working just to pay off school. I've been chiseling away at it, and if I jump to this new school, that amount I owe increases exponentially. Yet, after that 3-year contract, I will have a degree. That degree will help me make money to pay off said debts and then maybe let me live a comfortable life, but right now I don't even know if I am comfortable with the idea. I look at all that I could do in this world (that doesn't require pieces of paper {money/degrees} to assure someone that I am worth something) and I almost feel it'd be more satisfying. I am here on this Earth, to help people. I know this. I would be happy being a nomad, (as I pretty much have been) poor, bringing light into peoples' lives that money can't buy. I moved away to better myself, and I'm growing everyday, but I feel maybe I could be taking myself away from my purpose. I have far too much on my mind to be content with surviving within the confines that we are set to live in to be "successful." The American dream sounds wonderful, but it only exists when we find true happiness. I'm not certain that any one institution or career will give me the peace that I get from the help that I try to provide. I want to be a part of so many movements, I want what's right for the entirety of the planet, but I'm not sure that I would be accomplishing that. I want to grow spiritually, first and foremost, and help others heal and grow too. It makes me uncomfortable to be pushed into such heavy obligation decision making processes if I don't even know if it will make me happy. Of course, this stems from me being unhappy in the present moment, but there has to be a reason for all this.

I think part of this is, I am not simply here, to help myself. I have so much care invested into the universe and all living things that I can't simply focus on myself. I have to be out there, here, India, anywhere, helping. Helping people helps me. Before I really wanted to be a musician, at a young age I wanted to be the person that talks to others as they lay on a couch so I can help them get through emotional and spiritual barriers, to beat their demons and grow to infinity and beyond. But I always feel like there is far more that I could be doing. I've never really felt anything I've done was ever enough, so maybe this is my way of protecting myself and others from let downs. I gleamed with excitement, just hours ago. Only to realize that, I don't know. The only promise I feel we have and can make, is that we're here now. Maybe sometimes we aren't though, because part of what some of us live in is a self-induced fantasy. I'm blessed for all I've been through, and all I have...yet I seem to have, grown weary of a path that has presented itself. When I know what's right, I will go full speed ahead putting all of me into it. There's this thing we made up called time though, it's those measurements that hurt, and can create panic. I live for moments, but in this moment I am at a loss.

A wonderful person very recently asked me, what my biggest fear is, and I couldn't give a definitive answer for her, but ultimately I guess it's not leaving my mark enough. Ego aside, I am here to make this place better for all of humanity, and I don't know if these choices will aid in that, especially since we can't even guarantee tomorrow. Maybe not knowing is the beauty of it all, but maybe this is exactly what I needed right now.

In this moment I will call it a midlife crisis. I can say that too, because no one knows how much "time" we have.

I'm out of here though, spending time and money. I hope whatever course you take, that you're happy...truly. I care about all of you, and will be there when you need me, in this existence or the next. I have much excitement for what's beyond the world we know...but this current one, currently is tearing me in multiple directions, as it has before. I know I will be okay and find my way. My mind was just too heavy, to keep to myself this time.

— The End —