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Lost for words Nov 2017
For the times when you are weak,
When things are bad and looking bleak,
Know that I am by your side
To bear the things you can't abide
And every day I sit with you
Is another night you'll make it through
And every time I hold your hand,
I carry the pain you cannot stand

For the times when I feel weak,
When muscles ache and eyeballs leak,
I know that I am held aloft
By a hundred hearts and hands so soft
When everything seems to be going wrong
The love of friends will keep me strong
And whatever life throws we will take it
Because I know together we can make it
Lost for words Jun 2017
Hearing you moan about the baby weight
While warming up the Cow and Gate
Droopy tum and ***** ****** dry
And how they leak at every cry
Your body will never be the same
Ever since the baby came
Constantly exhausted beyond all belief
When they finally sleep through, dear God, the relief
Training and tantrums, toddlers are trying
You learn to accept they never stop crying
Oh to be one of those wretched souls!
Sterilising bottles and benches and bowls
Gaining those precious protective pounds
Awakening to those unmistakable sounds
Washing and folding and wiping and feeding
All the work that comes with breeding
And now the sun sets on that part of my life
Never a mother, only a wife
For all those hopes that didn't make it
Bun in the oven but unable to bake it
Trying not to envy and regret and hate
But I just can't shift the baby wait...
Lost for words May 2014
The goo-goo gaggle gobble grammar
New eggs standing in a roe
Alphabetting the Blurb is Cuckoo
School kid robots on the go
Fopdoodles questing for an ology
Dilly-dally on Patagonian trek
Mead-merry escalators of industry,
Or dudes who lakh in debt?
A billion ****** bridegrooms
In taffeta take-away
Cherry-picking for the species
From the matrix DNA
Muggles meet at midlife
For a Royal English tea
Swapping apps for homemade yogurt
Just a wee bit too PC
And so the dames riddle their speechcraft
On the doublespeak roundabout
Before Alzheimer's wicked edit
Skirts the bone-house bounders **out
This poem was written as an entry to a Telegraph newspaper competition: a poem of no more than 100 words which includes at least 25  from a list of 100 chronicling the history of the English language. The selected words are in bold. It didn't win :)
Lost for words Oct 2012
The label given to sorrow I cannot describe
The black cloud under which I hide
The sated reaper by my side

The name given to my new found state
The sadness still to raw to rate
When, too early, he became late

The word given to the crushing despair
The dawn of darkness none can share
Which I can't believe is ever fair

The misnomer given for those now taken
Love and life already forsaken
The sleep from which he won't awaken.
For my wonderful, beautiful boy, who I think of every single day **
Lost for words Jan 2011
Didn't get the guy?
Don't get mad,
Get even.
Get up,
get out,
get well,
get fit,
get skinny,
get a job,
get in!
get better,
get a life,
get Carter,
get away,
get married,
just get over it already.
Lost for words Dec 2010
You're too slow
didn't even see where the red ones go
wasting your eyeline on waves and hares
but the animals only go in by pairs
keep it moving, don't be late
you can't hide when there's too much on your plate
sweating like a cheddar in the midday sun
thinking too much for anything to be done
time trickles through your fingers like a leaking tap
the tide waits for no man so mind the ****** gap
load it up, baby, pose and pout
shake that *** and move it out
dance with the devil, run with the wolves
pride is the sin of he who falls.
Lost for words Oct 2010
If the grass is always greener,
Stand on both sides of the fence
It's possible to play the field
while sitting on the bench
Jam all your grubby fingers
In each and every pie
Take the best of both worlds
And never study why
Don't agonise over choices
You can join and beat them
Stuff your greedy little face
Have your cakes and eat them
Don't win some, lose some
The winner takes it all
Use the rainy day one now
There's another in the hall
Pop an egg in every basket
Get more cooks on that broth
The more the ******* merrier
And I want the ******* lot.
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