"estimating" poems
To the thunderstorm I used to love,
you pounded me, beat the windows with your fists,
brought the rain down with your thunderous roar.
rarely, it would hail, and the melting ice would
gleam down the streets, still soiled from the
summer day before you came and took over all daylight.
A severe thunderstorm warning went into effect around
2 a.m. - estimating to begin at 4 and
end at 9.
You came at 5, and it never ended.
While the rain once glistened, it now stings my skin,
crushes my thighs, squeezes my hip, compressing
pressing presser tightening twisting the calf, stabbing
the spine.
I am not in control.
The purple crush of your swirling eyes is
a rush of wind - a cold front in the summer
mist - the shattering of a two-hundred-year-old tree.
I saved butterflies from you only for them to suffocate in their cages. The rags indoors, the frames, they never stopped you - only the rain
prevented your fire.
You are right when you are gone.
The road is a blurry mirror, aging eyesight in the wet darkness.
Oct 24, 2014
Oct 24, 2014 at 2:04 AM UTC
the cascade of clear blue falls even in the midst of the furvous night
the call of a bird echoes cross canyons composed of ages of old
the glint off amber cliffs calls to the reflection of ancience
floors of sandstone riddled with stagnant ghosts of footprints
these paths were once walked by those larger than life
we search for purpose radiometrically
estimating the desperation in the dating
allowing our hearts to sink to an endless expanse of unexplored sediment
grasping onto the aching for the pleasure beneath the pain
self decay feels natural at the bottom of the ocean
peace comes naturally while disappearing into pieces
it will find me upon the return of the rogue daughter to the expanse in which she belongs
may my atomic descendents one day hold the fossils of my being between their fingers
let the earth shake under the feet of whom possesses my bones
and let them keep digging, let them excavate all of us whole
Aug 7, 2018
Aug 7, 2018 at 8:21 AM UTC
We would sneak on your rooftop during every thunderstorm
Watch raindrops kiss our flannels closer together before we knew just how powerful the clouds could be
Lightning cracked
And just like that
It's Wednesday morning
This ceiling fan drowns out that wet pitter patter as I sit up in bed
Estimating how much water these bodies can hold
I tell myself the rain here settles down better than I do
I close my eyes
Pretend every droplet becomes another letter you sent for me
Pretend my silence now is just as deafening as my silence then
And the skies rip open
Your voice drips down my window pane onto my carpet
Asks me one last time for an answer
So I just want you to know
When we grabbed our hearts and became the flood
I thought we would be free
This nefarious rubble is all that's left
And now you're gone
I haven't slept much since I left
Most nights I stand at my window and wait for the wind to greet me
If I stand close enough, I can spot the stream behind my bedroom here
The sound it makes at night frightens me
Dec 7, 2016
Dec 7, 2016 at 3:07 AM UTC
477
No Man can compass a Despair—
As round a Goalless Road
No faster than a Mile at once
The Traveller proceed—
Unconscious of the Width—
Unconscious that the Sun
Be setting on His progress—
So accurate the One
At estimating Pain—
Whose own—has just begun—
His ignorance—the Angel
That pilot Him along—
2.3k
Pain. It hurts so bad
Shattering you inside.
Pain. Your beating heart
Is no longer alive.
Pain. Your weary eyes
Are blinded with dark lights.
Pain. The suffering
And guilt of your life.
Pain. Your teardrops
Stain your blotchy face.
Pain. Your veins throb
Expelling adrenaline as you fade.
Pain. Your mind goes blank
You don't have the attention you crave.
Pain. Your lips are cracked
After crying for hours straight.
Pain. You're shivering with cold
And no one will keep you safe.
Pain. Peer over the edge
Estimating the fall.
Pain. It's all you have
Once you fall in love.
Sep 30, 2014
Sep 30, 2014 at 12:40 PM UTC
Walking around with low self esteem.
Living life as though it's a dream
Not seeing others with her eyes.
Trying to figure them out and sort their lies
But every time she loses the game
Every accident turns out the same.
Over estimating the kindness of others is her flaw
No one can figure out why she never talks about what she saw
Falling down, she is troubled by stupidity
Locked inside her brain, such thick humidity
Causing a fog that blinds her from reality
Once again she is trapped in her path
Feeling these feelings that cause such a wrath
That she feels the need to end her life
Despite her promises of leaving her knife
These feelings grow stronger everyday.
Never shown through the words she has to say.
Mar 3, 2015
Mar 3, 2015 at 11:32 AM UTC
It happened on one fine morning, as sun peeped into my hostel room
I pulled my sheet over my head and prayed to lengthen night hours
But alarm rang mercilessly ting -tong,ting-tong
Scratching my eyes, stretching my arms as wide as could,
I yawned and woke up to start an eventful day.
I felt enervated and body ache added to my stagnation.
I did my daily morning routines half heartedly,
as cosiness of bed was seducing me back to it.
I donned in my uniform, ran to the mirror.
I sensed an itching on my back, I touched it with my fingers.
Under- estimating it as a mosquito bite, I turned attention to my hair.
Suddenly I noticed a dew drop on my chest
Curiously I looked up to find any leaking in concrete ceiling
It protruded up here and there, without any order.
I felt like playing "connect -the -dots" during my school days.
I consulted doctor, he diagnosed it as chickenpox
and gave me sick leave along with prescription.
Those who were already immune to this, gave me tips to care.
Rest moved away from me with "respect" and wished "get well soon"
My father came to pick me from hospital.
I packed my things and got into the car.
On the way he brought me a basket of fruits
and fed my stomach full with advice.
My homecoming was welcomed by my pet dog's bark.
It got annoyed as I didn't pamper her as usual.
I opened windows of my sojourn kingdom.
It endowed me with a feeling of extending my horizon .
I saw dew drops on leaves, hanging down to fall,
dancing in breeze and sparkling in morning sun light.
Oct 3, 2014
Oct 3, 2014 at 12:24 PM UTC
To whom this moon is navigating tonight?
You are so shining and radiating tonight
My soul is dancing in rhythm of dim light
Songs of your bangles are agitating tonight
Grandma told me to wish to a falling star
I wished long ago but still awaiting tonight
It was your gravity which kept me encircling
I'm not in my orbit and deviating tonight
How many sleeps your thoughts have spoiled yet
Nights are awakening and aggregating tonight
Earth, air, water, fire seem to be disturbed now
All our horoscopes are escalating tonight
Will our stars be matching in next life?
Astrologists are meeting and estimating tonight
I had requested some place in her heart
I heard, she agreed and allocating tonight
Dec 9, 2018
Dec 9, 2018 at 1:50 PM UTC
Noun: Estimating something as worthless.
Example: "How much value you've put on my heart"
Oct 17, 2012
Oct 17, 2012 at 5:56 PM UTC
You and me
we will be free
our love
it can be
takes work
pleasure comes first
pain gets worse
focus on
delusions come
path is lost
so we fought
consumed by thought
we lose ourselves
like we knew
who we were
your less important now
I am under rated now
under estimating each other
fighting makes it easy
we became jaded
seeking i don't know what
expecting to control everything
in our hearts
I wanted peace
thought you were it
till I lost it
we wasn't
May 31, 2013
May 31, 2013 at 1:18 PM UTC
November 4th
The weather it seems, seems time to put on your coat,
but the way the wind blows,
a way nobody knows
will have you put your coats away,
but as the weathermen say:
”we’ll be delivered from the heat by snow this Thursday.”
Satchmo Bukowski
wants a bottle in front of me
not a frontal lobotomy.
What’s it to stop drinking?
smoking, though—it’s the best season
for it. Rather die than give up.
Yeah, my ***** distorted, same with my story
that I tell you now, but it lives each day twice—
but like Christ down the mountain
I come forth emblazoned,
no more reckless nor hopeful than him.
Halloween here, we saw the dead dress up.
We pulled together costumes
while estimating the temperature.
As the day shortens
and night falls as you clock out,
so our phase of experience does;
so the creatures of dark troll;
so the climb though the black berry patch
becomes the only visible path.
Nov 26, 2012
Nov 26, 2012 at 4:56 AM UTC
Yesterday’s integrity is lost
To the shrewd entry of today,
With all its hopeful blandness
Sinking into my skin as the sun rises
Ever so gently along the broken horizon
Where vultures escape the peril
Of the murderous day and hide in caves-
Away from the hungry pecking of
So many people in too many places,
As the sky seeks to triangulate
The presence of time within the confined space
Of the undynamic maze of man
As he moves gallingly through the elements
Past my drowsy numbness in the early hours
Magnetized into the dull thumping
Rhythms of action we all anticipate;
Estimating concepts I could never
For the life of me, regurgitate.
Apr 10, 2016
Apr 10, 2016 at 9:51 AM UTC
I saw a woman today
Her hair a burnished amber
She showed me her orchard
Her gleaming silver turbine
Her warm red Rayburn
She opened up the door
The wood glowed inside
Golden bricks in patterns on the floor
We spoke about her grandmother
Her man was there
I noticed the way he looked at her
I smiled
It's good to be alive
Jan 13, 2012
Jan 13, 2012 at 12:42 PM UTC
Entertained.
Contained.
Maintained.
Retaining access to once knowns,
sit still listening, not thinking anything
- calling living winning, then quitting.
Get up and ask the truth to forgive
me as I have forgiven, and correct me
where my functioning is hindering.
Stretching the cord to tie the load…
Become what truth embodied is,
cushion the fall from the stacked
featherbeds for religious businesses-
thumpwhump, takes y'breathaway
Conscienceless conscious necience,
all automated - due souly to luck in
the making of DNA, you see,
discovery is the easy part,
much more inter-
esting testing resting mind mingle,
estimating instants time in transit…
imagining the code used to build
the ladder, up one side, down the other.
Handling, managing manacled hopes,
most substantial, dashed to smithereens,
whither in the rearview I see you not looking,
not noticing the era we lived through, seeing
sublime simplicity unfold before us as we examine
essential, necience, non knowing unrecognizable,
feeling path, finding fortunate occasional fruit sweet,
as a path crossing fruiting bough slaps
sweetness perception from reward schedules,
stinging sensation, signal sending saying, it's okeh,
sudden sinking subtle ******* muddy awareness,
sniff, just agnosis dripping,
thinking life's a trip, travel light.
Oct 16, 2023
Oct 16, 2023 at 1:26 PM UTC
In the safety
Of sanctity
I deride and derail
Snort derisive
Sweet Jesus and me
Laughing at everyone
Especially you.
All that image
All that you planned
Sure and He's everywhere
Watching the water rise
Estimating your worth
Cashing in on you.
Your van and your force-fed crew
Nobody ever wanted to out and out **** you
But I think Jesus has had enough
And He's going to lose you in the rough
The rough, rough rain
Like a hurricane
Gonna call your number up.
This pigeon on my shoulder
You call Jesus and He strolls on over
Say your piece and He shrugs nonchalant
I don't believe you have anything He wants.
You're just a stupid ****
With ten times the luck
And Jesus sees you
You better believe it, Bro, you are seen
Jesus snorts derisively
Jesus snorted all the coke outta me.
He attempts to reiterate
Love thy brother and grant fresh starts
But chokes on the dust
And laughing hysterically
Points meaningless fingers
At what He thinks might matter.
Jesus is as Jesus does
A man subscribed to most of this mess
Having a good ol' time
His direction is half the crime.
It could be
It could be, Bro
You been walked down some line
Told this, this, that, and have a good time
Lied to and trialled, smiled at and lied to
Eating some man-made celestial ****
Yep, that's you.
Bible says it's true
So true
Bible says a lot of ****
Lots of ****
Yeah
That's you.
Apr 26, 2014
Apr 26, 2014 at 3:19 PM UTC
Play your part
Practice your art
Create your distance
And watch her back arch
Fluidity in your charm
But your doubt stunts you
Pessimistic thoughts haunt you
And when it all seems to be going well your mind gets to racing
Better yet estimating when your luck will end…
Coy and timid you seem to set limits to what you can do
Shame because that’s the point where you really start to lose
It’s your path to choose
Continue to on this gentlemanly cruise second guessing every move
Or pull the trigger and just take action
No thoughts required just fire.
If she worth it, don’t overthink it
Embrace it.
Dec 3, 2012
Dec 3, 2012 at 12:28 AM UTC
i have been led to believe , in my experience with being in-love,
that love is based on the knowledge gained and profound simplicity of feeling entirely connected and enamored with another person; that this feeling takes time after a period of time in which the party in question would eat together, go on hikes, dancing, movies, borrow a shirt, go to church, beach etc. whatever / estimating anywhere from one week to 5 months ... & sometimes even longer than that. (I KNOW) - those of you who believe in love at first sight ... well you're another breed... anyway... love at first sight ... like i was saying ...
I went to the store tonight.
I bought toilet paper and beer.
I stood in a very long line.
I watched a woman put back a box of ice-cream and felt proud of her; even though she didn't look happy for doing it -
she just didn't want to stand in that line and would probably get ice cream elsewhere!
On my walk back from that grocery store (about half a block from the store)
I looked up from lifting the beer
because it wasn't comfortable to hold it how i was holding it ....
and I saw
someone walking to their car
This girl
The girl
this girl
and she smiled at me
she wore a beanie
and she was thin
and her hair was brown i think
I only saw her for 5 or 6 seconds
which at the time felt like a long time
but my short term memory isn't great sometimes
and her face is starting to fade now
but i still see it
i see her neck
and I see her smile
it embarrassed me a little
it's funny when you grin at someone
I grin at people on the street all the time
it's quick
it's fixed
but a smile ... it has levels
this one
went from a friendly grin
to a shy
growing smile
with eyes
and shoulders
and heart
and stomach
and I didn't know about that difference
(until tonight)
but it filled me up
and i felt drunk on it
and i felt everything
and i felt all of it
in 5 seconds
and it's bugging me now
because i can't shake it
and i don't know why
i've never felt like this
not
one
bit
and i went home
and i told my best friend
and she told me to write about it
so here I am
and it's been a few hours now
and my friend is alseep
and I think she's asleep
and I should be asleep
and I think i'm over it now
or just over thinking
and over thinking
but i'm still thinking about it
and i haven't really climbed
so i'm not over anything
so i'll keep smiling instead
because it made me smile
and that felt good
and i just want to sit with that
and she gave me that
and that's all it has to be
so I believe in love at first sight
it's the best
Jun 4, 2014
Jun 4, 2014 at 1:48 AM UTC
if you're asking me to be subhuman
give me a plot-line, i'd find one among the Zimbabweans
a minute later, but give me a plot-line,
i just want to know the hierarchy from now on...
a Dutch spat in a Polish girl's face...
give me the ******* plot-line! or is this one of those moments
where you say: ja zapomnieć mówienia po polsku.
oh, you're one of those hybrids?!
should have told me sooner!
how's the Sunday roast treating you?
it's a bit dry, i admit, typical Pole-lack...
fights for independence from the Rus and the Prus
and then gets **** with the **** that pays him...
like some Chilean **** of a fake shaman,
or some Afro, gets ****** on all fours
for posterity being the reasonable standard...
has no pride, no ulterior motive, just sits there
expecting relief without working for it,
what a lucky bunch of beetroots, chequers in cheek,
rosy, the next flush of hope in casual conversation
estimating the standards of non-racial involvement
inside post-Saxony is Ulster -
they really want retards and are anti-bilingual,
the same plague that met the Normans, the Cnut
brigadiers, they want inbreeding, but as the ladies
say: better Paki-pickup-grooming than a white
boy fanciful of romance... ain't that a pretty sight...
had to revolve upon the thick-skinned ones...
the ones who would't sue...
but with us Russia... ***** whipped by Jews and
cinnamon skinned ones are we? ***** - you said it,
i'm reaffirming;
you could have been colonial with them -
i won't let your colonial subjects turn colonial on me!
Jul 4, 2016
Jul 4, 2016 at 10:16 PM UTC
That which they lack in longevity
They compensate with in narcissistic egotrocity.
Such odd creatures, those confined within humanity,
Always over-estimating, over-conjecturing
Their place and meaning in this yet to be
Disillusioned, elaborate, erratic cosmic infinity.
No other animal I since created
Have made such self-absorbed, conceited notions
Comp’rable to humanoid emotion.
I am ashamed to call them mine,
But it is so. I need not intervene,
For ere the end of World War Three,
They surely will relinquish me
Of my senseless exercise in futility.
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 8:02 AM UTC
Love consists of over-estimating the differences between one woman and another.
May 22, 2013
May 22, 2013 at 10:22 AM UTC
Catching every glimpse of beauty that is what holds me steady, Misunderstanding and under estimating the quantum possibilities that these eyes see through time and space I face the endless darkness that can hold any man steady. Dealing in disappointments or is it pointless to call for change, A feeling so strange like being on center stage, The darkness so bright I can see nothing, I can feel nothing, I am numb am I here.
Jul 24, 2017
Jul 24, 2017 at 3:56 AM UTC
In absence of holy ground
Wrong perception of self
Ego of Omnipotence
Wisdom of nothing
Doubting the doubts
Enlightening questions
Rejoices with the truth
Estimating degree of reality
Fragile life
All needs sleep to get wake up
Changing imprinted genes
Get changed for acceptance
Unity, not plurality
Hatred responded with Love
When mind thinks wrong
Beware of self
Spelling, “sorry”,
Transcend faculty of the mind
To end all the pain
Element of liberation
Voiding an ego of supreme being
A positive doctrine
Let it be…..
Feb 15, 2018
Feb 15, 2018 at 8:26 AM UTC
I Rose. More than a Rose.
She stands there posing, strikingly.
Beauty glowing flowing tastefully
Wrapped in history adorned with knowledge draped with class.
A eye for the future a smile for the present inspiration that will last.
Heart filled with peaceful emotions, seasoned with experiences involved
in current events.
Free from bitterness, hatred, prejudices the things that normally prevents.
Eyes infiltrating,
Nose detecting, inhaling, exhaling.
Clarity, rationality, dignity.
Expressions for all to be equally free.
Rejecting any unsavory thought.
Pushing past all things unrightfully bought.
A smile, a frown, lips that perk, lips that pout.
Lips that speak of what loves about.
Quietly gazing at her surrounding.
Admiring people as they are passing.
With a mind in tune,
Words kept not to be spoken too soon.
Never over estimating hardly judging
Tries to keep from merely speculating.
Baring six sons seasoning knights for the future.
Having laid down a foundation studied by lecture.
HeavensRosepoet more than a rose battled storms and tribulations.
Rains came to wash away burdens traces bringing jubilation.
Not many knows her story.
In future may be known her glory.
Come abide with her, read of her, share with her comparing life its history.
We all stand like zillions of Roses protected by our thorns.
Singing our stories with the word as our swords.
Much more than just a dozen Roses.
All singing our stories with striking poses.
Giving much needed testimony it’s like healing word therapy
Inhale the fresh crisp breeze that flows from HeavensRosepoet so justly so poetically.
Despite the roughest of elements Ms.HeavensRosepoet.
She stills stands, She survives and grows.
May 29, 2018
May 29, 2018 at 2:14 AM UTC
Two of the greatest miracles of my hands.
Still have people speaking of them.
And debate the substance of my truth.
This world created by the miracles of my hands has scientists estimating through research its creation.
Using elements of their minds to explain it.
nd still the debate goes on.
The next creation is the miracle birth of Christ.
My earth representative.
Some loves to state his birth wasn't to a ****** untouched cause it has never happen again.
Then many things I have done can't be explained.
And I guess I keep it that way.
Cause the miracles of my hands has a purpose far beyond you.
Aug 23, 2016
Aug 23, 2016 at 1:40 PM UTC