"doldrum" poems
I want to pack up my life and put it on hold
whilst a new adventure I do take hold
I want to run free
by the sea,
if that is a possibility
I want to climb the highest mountian
Dance naked in a fountain
Treck through the Amazon
All before my life is too far gone
Alas, its not to be,
Especially when you have a kid and responsibility
** hum, back to the Doldrum
Of a boring life I have to run
Maybe next year
Feb 18, 2015
Feb 18, 2015 at 5:37 AM UTC
Two people could never have been more in love than the two of us. A spark at first glance, suddenly roaring as a huge fire. At every moment we'd tell the other how much we loved them and how we wish they'd never leave. Two hearts and two minds, completely intertwined. But now it feels different. The light in your eyes has gone. My smile wiped from your mind. Is this what love is? A flurry of passion then nothing? I thought love was to be shared, nurtured over time, a never ending passion. As I lay here seemingly forgotten, in endless confusion, It seems "love" is just a syllable, it's meaning lost to history and its intent ignored in the doldrum of life. It is why I now ask: Do you even remember my name?
Jun 13, 2015
Jun 13, 2015 at 7:09 PM UTC
madmen fools and nothing,
the mien — brazen, stupefied glance
and hungry for light, our words gutted
like our enemies in our ill-thought.
this road dredges, the aporetic line
sifting through new divisions, something
an equation forgets the dividend
and almost always a salient permutation
of men and women and the "takatak" boy
peddling cigarettes to claptrap ***
of metal envoys,
reciprocating some chances of restive
dreadnaught, diffusion of sweat in
scalding heat of 12:41 afternoon sun
and smoking with bystanders
unaware of the doldrum and the ennui
it was a fine day in Ortigas.
Nov 26, 2015
Nov 26, 2015 at 11:42 PM UTC
Summer is alive, the barbeque's on fire
But I aspire,
to be far away
There are children screaming all hours
along the sweltered streets
and cars breeze by, families get high
Lawn mower doldrum paradise paradoxes
I look at flight information on a melting monitor
Enter bank details
and the system crashes
I'll never escape
Three generations pass the window,
chuff away on branded cigarettes
These are truly the end of times
The claustrophobic city closes in
and I'm gasping for breath
through the intermittent smoke rings
That I am exhaling into the sky
The societal construct of monetary systems
keeps me imprisoned not only in the town of my birth
but in the mind of myself, a jail of superficial self-annihilation
I am consumed by I
Ego choke-hold, harder to breathe in the heat
Harder to pound these city streets
We need that cash, we need that (government) cheese
We need freedom of wealth to breathe with ease
I feel like Hannah, turning towards prostitution
or Malcolm in subversive ****** and sadomasochism
I feel like dying
I feel like the drifting away
I feel something
I feel it, I swear
Today I am here
But I feel like I should be elsewhere
Jun 22, 2014
Jun 22, 2014 at 1:06 PM UTC
It felt,
like a dream remembered,
a gift bestowed for no reason, save mine.
Conscious discovery yielding an oasis
from tempest or doldrum.
Without the energy or tension of a search
No plan born from need or design
No thoughtful execution of a magazine get-away
Luxurious coincidence, well cherished
Faithful lawn chair positioned for comforted discovery
A bath of sunlight and blue, still skies
Occupied birds singing faint chorus to joy and spring
Not begging for attention or warning, lest they disturb.
A cool spot found beneath the sheets by my wandering toes
When warmth has stayed too long and threatens to be wearisome
Lounging in the arms of my beloved, just longer than expected
The sweet kiss of familiar lips full and lingering
Chance audience to a little one's discovery
When no one is watching, a glimpse
the unfolding world of a child
Echoing back to wonder and a reminder
The observed gait of a cat in open grass
Her movement and mechanics newly seen
Exquisite design for her own purposes
And a glimpse into a world that is not ours
Not demanding attention
They pale my designs and grand efforts
They embarrass the clumsy media
With the slow fall of a reddened leaf in autumn
Dancing this way and that to find its place on earth
Inviting me to see
Apr 7, 2013
Apr 7, 2013 at 12:41 PM UTC
Darkness to inspire me
Then i love the gloomy day
Clouds to clear my vision
In the shadows I rule
Apocalypse is what I ever wanted
Burning in the hope of no hope
but still the dreams of ur trembling lips
And the swaying eye lashes
Touch that electrifying touch
Cocktail of romance and desire
I cant think of a reason to love u
Coz u are the love I never had !
-PS
Dec 22, 2013
Dec 22, 2013 at 2:58 PM UTC
napping in between a planet and the void
never strikes us as uncanny, but rather; glances
off the blind spot of our soul's eye
merely a shimmer of awe
in a doldrum.
a pinch of ghost in the holy mess.
the wide hips
of the moon
in a box.
Aug 1, 2015
Aug 1, 2015 at 4:48 AM UTC
I felt a faint sense of the electricity from my brain connect to my body. Its been over a week and I finally forgot that I had a heart. I left it on a dark road within a two mile walk through the doldrum's fierce winds and stinging rain. I wish you could've seen the sky tonight. I have the most contradictory love for the winter. I hate the cold, but it clears the shaded sky leaving nothing but small traces of artifical clouds, and tonight I saw the stars breathe again. The first day I saw my most familiar friends since the time I laid on your car in the summer. I asked these stars of mine if they thought you knew that I think they're beautiful because you're beautiful. I wondered if you knew that they only stay here because they know you're beautiful too. Even if you don't know, the stars do, and so do I. I imagined today how difficult it must be to be you. Never having the privilege of having a different set of eyes to witness what I see in you, and never having the privilege of falling in love with you. You'll never know what it's like to have your soul ripped from your body by a pair of lips and eyes and your touch. Your touch. Your touch. Your touch... Maybe to you, I'm obsessed with your touch, but you breathe because it keeps you alive and I crave your everything because you make me feel alive. I love you. I have always loved you. And today, just like everyday, I fell in love with you again, and today just like the first day, all it took was your name.
Nov 20, 2013
Nov 20, 2013 at 7:13 AM UTC
I'm in a doldrum of love
where no wind distrupts the silence
in the middle of the sea without waves
where my passion outweighs my patience
in the place without life nor death
where the fruit and the seed shares no deed
in a doldrum of love
where the departure is further than the arrival
Oh the doldrum of love
where the wind has died to be born
in the maddening calm before the calm
where my end isn't that of a journeyman
in the ocean where the time has sealed its heart
where I wait for the end
holding the breathless body of my hope
i'm in a doldrum of love
where i cannot find my way out.
May 29, 2017
May 29, 2017 at 4:43 PM UTC
There are a thousand darknesses
That lie ahead
To escape the fastness
Of our marital bed.
So much to lose
Time, money, emotional life
I have to choose
To wield the knife,
To cut the bond
The spirit, the law
To wave the wand
Extract your claws
I won't return
I can't go back
The light I discern,
The tunnel, the track.
A one-way journey,
Committed and sure,
The way to be free,
To close the door.
Goodbye, you hell-cat,
Goodbye, once-loved,
A whirlwind, a witch's hat,
A doldrum, velvet-gloved.
You are wild, you are calm,
First you love, then despise,
I was lost in your charm,
Fooled by your disguise
I run free, I'm alive,
I can't help you find peace,
Adieu, my future arrives,
This blessed release.
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015 at 7:07 PM UTC
Dead on the inside
I can't conjure any inspiration
to lift my imagination
from this barren plain
Searching for stimulation
I've stumbled across enunciation
In those rare moments
when the torrent of my heart overflows
But now my chest is lacking
since all the valleys and hills have been flattened.
In the mountains where my muse reposed
All that remains are empty paths of prose
So I'll write.
Where once I put pen to screen
to catch my screams
Now I'll clatter away to
Escape the doldrum of emotional boredom
Feb 13, 2011
Feb 13, 2011 at 9:38 PM UTC
electric — conflated with
the doldrum of once ignited feeling
on the russet table work
and the stringing aroma of flyblown
coffee painting the morning something
earthenware;
i imagine
women lounging
and displaying their flamboyant dresses
confessing a dull promenade
parading their attenuated ***** reveling
a queendom on recall and this bane,
merely resolute, gives itself a new
meaning as a hand of forgive
men resigning their bags on the corner,
grunts, heaves deathly serious disallowing tomorrow's arrival into
a throb of being in place, folding newspapers to a club and smiting fervently along with the endless waiting,
verses lying cold on the froth of the tile
and the wind ripening the brew of
contestations — punctuations in their
cupboards still and reserved in hermetic
space curating silence, giving dins
their polished ends,
open for all: churlish boys,
naked girls, faith-used women, strife-torn men, usual suspects,
rebels and the overwrought –
never closes like a hand in cold
or a rose, its face occulted by
identification sideways torn, inside and out struggling,
scrunched to squint on some pale light through chinks on the battered
wall, sipping coffee,
mmmm, that
morning ripple transcending the
heaviness of the city before me.
Nov 6, 2015
Nov 6, 2015 at 10:13 PM UTC
What of the sea,
that lends its tacit form,
as druids of the night
that heaves a heavy shore?
Might I clamor it's doldrum manner
sink to its floor and stir
lively the depths, the mines
of it's will,
bring to shallows an unbridled storm,
the waking eye,
a trembling fist
and rage to the very heart
-- the tempest!
No, when far more a soul thrives
in the calm breaths
of its peaceful sigh.
Mar 21, 2016
Mar 21, 2016 at 4:18 AM UTC
.
It would not stop, the drop dripping
Faulty well and I was cornered in
Your eyes, when your love came down.
The gentle rain was a deceiving
Flood. The softness in your voice
Was dim light bent, on my banishment.
I began to notice the kind indifference,
The doldrum swale, when your love
Came down, was like you were employed
Only— half trying to get along
With me. My own dulcet music
Crashed in two, she wails a shamed—
Diaphany and darkness from the corner
Room began to grow, when your love
Came down. The light that moved so dear,
Became a precious ration, it was
A black starvation and I began
To die from tasteless food, sad music,
Fading sun, no expectations—
And laughter meant for others. I bled
For years on open wounds and I—
Could hear the wind that rails at ones tomb,
When your love came down.
Mar 28, 2017
Mar 28, 2017 at 4:19 PM UTC
It would not stop, the drop dripping
Faulty well and I was cornered in
Your eyes, when your love came down.
The gentle rain was a deceiving
Flood. The softness in your voice
Was dim light bent, on my banishment.
I began to notice the kind indifference,
The doldrum swale, when your love
Came down, was like you were employed
Only— half trying to get along
With me. My own dulcet music
Crashed in two, she wails a shamed—
Diaphany and darkness from the corner
Room began to grow, when your love
Came down. The light that moved so dear,
Became a precious ration, it was
A black starvation and I began
To die from tasteless food, sad music,
Fading sun, no expectations—
And laughter meant for others. I bled
For years on open wounds and I—
Could hear the wind that rails at ones tomb,
When your love came down.
Mar 16, 2014
Mar 16, 2014 at 1:33 PM UTC
When the day is a flickering bulb .. Doldrum afternoons , uninvited hindsight
The enemy continuously cruises by in different vehicles
Telephones are coiled serpents , televisions-
attempt to monitor my every move
My dark , hidden existence ..Tenth power magnification
Eating raisins , hoping for rain to justify-
my lack of worldly participation
Reading Melville and Grotius with waning passion
Secretly bored with silly public games
Apr 6, 2016
Apr 6, 2016 at 12:44 PM UTC
Languid
restless
I don’t even know anymore
I don’t have anything to say
nothing real
nothing fictional
Plagued today
a lack of passion
no inspiration to be had
stuck in vapid complacency
I haven’t chosen
not to feel
Anything at this given moment
would be salvation
from banal doldrum
I’ve slipped
fell
into pacificity
Observer at best
always just a passing wayfarer
part of the scenery
running a facade
a mask of my own image
sure I see myself in the mirror
but Who
Is
That?
Trapped
by the singular perspective
that is consciousness
I have no idea
what anyone feels
What another’s notion of me is
other than myself
and even then
I’m not so sure.
Does anyone
ever give me
a thought?
Who am I?
an Artist
a poet
a hiker
a biker
a walker at night
a friend
a son
a brother
An acquaintance
that guy
hey you
a fool
a loser
lost
selfish
lonely
insecure
Maybe?
but who defines me
myself or others
Does it even matter
what I think
if I’m really not the judge
but then again
how will anyone see
what I am if I don’t know
Is there even
a place
for me?
Where am I going?
what am I doing?
Will I ever make a difference?
Will I ever carve a niche?
will I ever be remembered?
will anyone ever think of me?
Who will think of me?
how will they define me?
who knows?
I sure as hell don’t.
Feb 10, 2014
Feb 10, 2014 at 2:21 PM UTC
It would not stop, the drop dripping
Faulty well and I was cornered in
Your eyes, when your love came down.
The gentle rain was a deceiving
Flood. The softness in your voice
Was dim light bent, on my banishment.
I began to notice the kind indifference,
The doldrum swale, when your love
Came down, was like you were employed
Only— half trying to get along
With me. My own dulcet music
Crashed in two, she wails a shamed—
Diaphany and darkness from the corner
Room began to grow, when your love
Came down. The light that moved so dear,
Became a precious ration, it was
A black starvation and I began
To die from tasteless food, sad music,
Fading sun, no expectations—
And laughter meant for others. I bled
For years on open wounds and I—
Could hear the wind that rails at ones tomb,
When your love came down.
Jul 16, 2012
Jul 16, 2012 at 2:04 PM UTC
A small wind blew over my doldrum skin
As I laid there in erosion
Withering back to the dust I came from
Each day another break from my face
Another shed of human remains
Is giving into the future
The creeping take of time
Follows behind the sun in a cosmic circle
The rise of morning
The fall of night
My blood flows through the encounter of life
I stay here breathing more destiny
Inside my coffin of fate
I'm still unsure of where am I
~
I'm still unsure of where am I
Inside my coffin of fate
I stay here breathing more destiny
My blood flows through the encounter of life
The fall of night
The rise of morning
Follows behind the sun in a cosmic circle
The creeping take of time
Is giving into the future
Another shed of human remains
Each day another break from my face
Withering back to the dust I came from
As I laid there in erosion
A small wind blew over my doldrum skin
Feb 2, 2019
Feb 2, 2019 at 12:22 PM UTC
It would not stop, the drop dripping
Faulty well and I was cornered in
Your eyes, when your love came down.
The gentle rain was a deceiving
Flood. The softness in your voice
Was dim light bent, on my banishment.
I began to notice the kind indifference,
The doldrum swale, when your love
Came down, was like you were employed
Only— half trying to get along
With me. My own dulcet music
Crashed in two, she wails a shamed—
Diaphany and darkness from the corner
Room began to grow, when your love
Came down. The light that moved so dear,
Became a precious ration, it was
A black starvation and I began
To die from tasteless food, sad music,
Fading sun, no expectations—
And laughter meant for others. I bled
For years on open wounds and I—
Could hear the wind that rails at ones tomb,
When your love came down.
Oct 11, 2013
Oct 11, 2013 at 8:53 PM UTC
eyes glazed, passing...
at magnificence...
this doldrum...
muddy browns...
streaks of green...
an ever changing blues...
a sudden crackling in synapses
erupting through the real!
a pale iris gaining
electric sheen!
a meaningless menagerie
collapsing into an expanse!
within this little slab of goo!?
May 20, 2018
May 20, 2018 at 4:13 AM UTC
It would not stop, the drop dripping
Faulty well and I was cornered in
Your eyes, when your love came down.
The gentle rain was a deceiving
Flood. The softness in your voice
Was dim light bent, on my banishment.
I began to notice the kind indifference,
The doldrum swale, when your love
Came down, was like you were employed
Only— half trying to get along
With me. My own dulcet music
Crashed in two, she wails a shamed—
Diaphany and darkness from the corner
Room began to grow, when your love
Came down. The light that moved so dear,
Became a precious ration, it was
A black starvation and I began
To die from tasteless food, sad music,
Fading sun, no expectations—
And laughter meant for others. I bled
For years on open wounds and I—
Could hear the wind that rails at ones tomb,
When your love came down.
Sep 16, 2012
Sep 16, 2012 at 11:26 PM UTC
*They've brought in a new factory to town
One for the making of clouds
As there's a desperate need for shady relief
To take a bit of the bite out of the sun's bitter heat
Where they're trying something new that's never been done
Adding splashes of color to add to the fun
So when the newly formed clouds swirl out of the stacks
They won't be the typical doldrum of white, gray, and black
There'll be purples and blues, reds, oranges, and yellows
Pinks mixed with greens as the clouds flow and billow
And just when the wind causes the clouds to collide
There'll be a rainbow of colors that will pour from the sky
Who woulda, coulda, shoulda
Beyond a reasonable doubt
Ever imagined what would happen
With a factory of colorful clouds*
Jun 27, 2015
Jun 27, 2015 at 10:59 AM UTC
It would not stop, the drop dripping
Faulty well and I was cornered in
Your eyes, when your love came down.
The gentle rain was a deceiving
Flood. The softness in your voice
Was dim light bent, on my banishment.
I began to notice the kind indifference,
The doldrum swale, when your love
Came down, was like you were employed
Only— half trying to get along
With me. My own dulcet music
Crashed in two, she wails a shamed—
Diaphany and darkness from the corner
Room began to grow, when your love
Came down. The light that moved so dear,
Became a precious ration, it was
A black starvation and I began
To die from tasteless food, sad music,
Fading sun, no expectations—
And laughter meant for others. I bled
For years on open wounds and I—
Could hear the wind that rails at ones tomb,
When your love came down.
Mar 16, 2013
Mar 16, 2013 at 2:35 PM UTC