Liberalizing democracy
To the extent of
Embracing *******---
Going out of one's way
To promote ****** orientation--
Is no less transgression
Than strangulating it
With iron censorship--
Simply touting
The government
Is immaculate!

To see one self from a
diffrent view, to see your
self through the eyes of another,
would you see that which you were
or would the view be diffrent, not
liking what you see.

Would you change or be the same
confident that you like what you
see. That no change is needed as these
are the eyes of another, not the same
of which you see you.  

Would looking through the eyes another
as the eyes looking back are your
own, cofident as the person looking is your
reflection in the mirror seeing a reflection
that in your mind you either love, confident
in what you see when seeing you.

Or as the eyes of another, not liking
that which you are hating that which
is looking at you wanting to never to look
at the person hating that which is you.

I thought about
The things you said
And I have come
To this conclusion

It hurts me
It hurts you
But you wish to be
Friends with benefits
And I do not want that

We are splitting
For things on my end
And that is fine
But now that your my ex
I cannot look at you
Nor touch you like I did

So this is my reasoning
I dont want
Friends with benefits
I just want to be your friend

When you said its over
Everything shut down
Mentally to physically
Epecially emotional

I was through crying
Tears over you
Over the bad things
I either said or did

I used to know you
Now your completely diffrent
You swear your the same
No you are not
What you dont see
Others see

I may have made you
Into what you are
And I am sorry for causing it
But I am not strong enough
To change you back
I tried before
Only to fail

So now
We go our seperate ways
Just as friends
My reasons are my own
But this is mine
You are just a friend
And
An ex for a reason.

I think diversity is good..
Im glad were all not the same..
Cause if you think about it..
That would be all boring an lame..

We would be the exact same way..
an all be Doing the exact same things..  

Were diffrent for a reason..
So embrace being yourself..

You are an original..
Dont be a copy..

Cause your just as amazing as anybody else..even if you dont relize it..

Your the way you are..
You feel emotions the way you do..
Diffrent then me or someone else..

You make life special..
An life sculps you diffrent ways..


We all have diffrent acomishments to fulfill.. so be glad your only you..

An make being you your goal...
:)

(Seriously though..)
(Dont change yourself for anyone)

I sit in a car where everything moves slowly, where every sound I hear, I think about it first.
True presence, true gift.
I see my self like I am in another dimension.
And even when I think about the things that I think,
I think them over again.
I am very diffrent from low.
And I like it.

Josue was a young boy growing up in a really ghetto part of town
When he was born his dad left his mom and he grew up without a father
At a young age while his brothers where all joining gangs and selling drugs he was getting academic awards at school
Even though his mom never really cared about any of his achievements or was never really there for him at all his aunt persuaded him to continue doing good
So it was from there on that he started getting good grades in every subject throughout elementary school
Josue gratuated the 5th grade with the highest honors
He promised his aunt he would grow up to be a good boy and not turn out like his brothers
But that didnt last long
His aunt died during his sixth grade year and he started living with his mother and his new step dad
Pretty soon he felt like he was a stranger in his own home
His step father started putting him down and threatening him meanwhile his mother didnt care
Teachers started to grade his assignments harshly because they didnt like him
At school he started hooking up with the wrong crowds
The lack of love and the accumulationo hatred made Josue take up bad habbits
Josue started ditching often and stealing occasionally
Soon he forgot all about his grades and achievements and started to drink and do drugs
After a while his mom kicked him out of the house
Soon later josue joined a gang and started dealing drugs
His life got bad after that
He started getting arrested often
Soon no one even came to visit him in prison then one day while he was serving a 5 year scentence a package arrived
It was a package from his aunt that would have been delivered approximatly 10 years after her death
Inside where old letters and achievements
Many of the things inside brought back memories of Josues youth
Soon he started crying and remembering everything
Then he found an important letter
An old letter it said " ill allways be good ill never do harm ill allways be yours aunty"
Josue swelled up with emotion
He started yelling and crying
He started punching the walls of his cell
He knew what he had done
He had become the man he never wanted to become
The guards took him to his cell
That afternoon Josue prayed for 2 hours
After he finished praying at midnight he hung himself
The next morning when the guards came in they picked up his suicide note
It said "I no longer wish to live. I broke a promise a promise that would have shaped my life a diffrent way. Now I have nothing to look forward too but death, so i decided to speed time up and go at midnight. The only one to blame foot suicide is the lack of love. Maybe if I just head mom there out would be diffrent. Maybe if there was something or someone to look after me out would have all been diffrent. I will soon be with the only person who brought joy love and passion into my life. Pray i make it to heaven amen"



This tragedy could have all been avoided with love. Give love not hate. Make this world a better place

The last outlaws of Hello  had rode long and hard.
And after leaving the brothel finally hit the road.
Wild Turkey feuled ****** Amigo stop touching my ****.
Dear lord man how many times can we listen to lady gaga

Get your minds outta the gutter really just who
do ya think your reading?
I dont write **** like VK rowling or Miya Angelou  or was
her last name Cyrus anyways who in the state of Hannah Montana
gives a **** anyways?

Just over the border we finally landed in the land
of masked wrestlers hostoric sights
yes who doesnt like a donkey show?

The cantina hot as usal my amigo looking around
confussed like a young  Ricky Martin  befor
the rockstar life of menudo ****** him all up.

Drinks flowed music played  dam macdonalds was great down here.
well cept for the clown who wore his red nose in  a diffrent place
bad touch kids.
Least my uncle was fitting in here lord help his boyscout troup.
camping in uncle Ronnys bed taught you a lotta things
like never to sleep on your stomach.

But enough with the foreplay children.
We were on a mission.
But not one from the big guy.
Although im not much on worship
besides  Bill Gates was a tool anyhow.

We spent the night drinking dancing not togather
that is.  Although Jack was a great kisser
but enough about are fishing trips
Gary was already jelouse as it was.

It was great fun till the dam hangover kicked in
it hurt so dam bad it was like Justin Bieber had
caught me asleep and ***** my ear like his mother
had sold his soul so she wouldnt have to work.

The pounding in my head,the drunken Brit in the sambero
Bouncing up and down on the bed singing paparazzi
but enough bout Goldie were the hell was Jack?

And who the hell killed the ****** and put her  
in the bathtub?
Jesus fargone Phil must have been here
no wonder I was missing a kidney thoose naughty Brits get me every time.


After diposing of the body thoose blind kids
will have fun with that pinyatta.

I was off leaving no stone or  whiskey bottle or brothel unturned.
I interogated so many senoritas.
Finally I figured I should ask where Jack was.

Finally after a good session with a older woman
the sixteen year old finally gave it up.
And then I remembred to ask the question how much?
Im kidding I asked that way befor the umm interogation.

******* the tatoo from fantasy island sounding woman replied.
Lord woman no time for a puppet show im not uncle Ronny.
No senior *******.
Lord dear woman  what you didnt get to watch the muppet show as a kid or something?

Finally ****** the starnge sounding woman blurted out.
Look ******* Jack's off he left with some weird little guy earlier.
they took a plane.

All a sudden from the sky I herd a sputtering
noise and like a bald eagle  who had a affair with a unclean vulture.
Im just saying.
It emerged from the coulds a small plane  the door flew open
Jack appeared with another man why was it yes it was Eliot.

Why you ***** ***** you!
Ouch **** miss I was talking to Jack.
Oh my bad senior but you desserve that just for writting
this ****.
everyones a critic.

Seems my amigo was taking Eliot sky diving dam great way to bound.
well it was cept thoose Brits seem to not use parachutes
but hey you really cant feel much with them on anyways.

Eliot like a well.
Like a guy threw from a plane screamed  worse
than a teenage girl  at a Jonas Brothers Concert
Hey my wife wanted to go okay.
Thank God the house broke his fall.

There lay Eliot crying like Tiger Woods after
his divorce hearing.
No worries my friend  I called a ambalance.
Three hours later the horse and bugee finally pulled up to
the hospital.

Im joking it wasnt a horse it was a donkey
And it would have been sooner if it wasnt busy
being Mr show bueisness.

Later at the bar.

Gonzo and Jack  sat with there full body cast friend Eliot
sipping drinks telling stories.
Wondering why we were ******* fire.

Gonzo no wonder you love it here
what part of Mexico are we in?
Dear lord man were in mexico?
Seems my friend was a bit confussed
but then again after reading this you probaly
are two  untill next time kids  greetings from
New Jersey.

Stay Crazy Gonzo

Im insecure
Im scared and unsure
Of myself.
I don’t really play video games
Or read a lot of books.
Im not that smart
But I like to pretend I am in front of you.
And infront of you im one person,
With myself im another.
Ive made a lot of mistakes
That one day ready or not all have to face…
Im a fanatic about piano and I sing A LOT
Im sure it annoys a lot of people. But that’s okay.
Sometimes I don’t understand who I am or even know what to do next.
But I guess that’s when I put my faith in God and just rest.
Im just like you.
I hate being rejected,
I hate conflicts
And I have issues too…
I guess if you really think about it,
Im not that much different than you.

We all see through the same glass,
the tint is just a little different with
each one that views it.

It was a dark and stormy night the wind tasted of emptyness of the midnight hour.
The man was broken as he viewed the ledge and as he stepped out apon it he seemed more lost than
Elton John in a ***** house.

******* stupid *****!
He threw the picture into the night as it made it's way to the dark waters below.
Then taking a  deep chug from the bottle he began to fling the bottle as the picture befor.

****** man hold on!
the man shocked almost fell he thought he was alone.
Who the **** are you!

The stange looking man who sat apon the ledge and smelled of
week long ****** and a stripper or two.
Look man dont try to stop me im jumping and that's it.

Hey amigo I dont give a **** if ya jump but if your gonna jump and  toss a bottle at least make sure it's empty ******* duh theres wino's all over the world and one right next to ya that
right now are dying for a drink.

The man like most people in the pressense of Gonzo looked at me with strange mix of
aww and **** my life that they all seem to share.
Im gonna jump and all you care about is the ******* bottle!
My good man im hurt besides ya gotta wallet to duh not like your gonna need it
besides someone has to notify the cops besides I might get a reward I always wanted to get on a show besides cops.

What?
The man said puzzled im guessing being he didnt follow  so easily he must be Canadian.
Okay okay you got me I was also on Locked Up  okay and Americas Most Wanted and maybe To Catch A Perdator that Chris Hanson what a ***** tease.

Look ****** get the **** away from me here's the ******* bottle as for my wallet here ya go but my ***** cheating ***** of a wife beat ya to the money.
So your wifes a ***** and you still have to pay sir I belive your suffering from dellusion
here have a drink with me.

The man was far worse than I thought not only a Canadian he seemed to be suffering from some mental issues Jesus was it fate that a rational man as I would be hanging out okay passed out on this very same bridge.
******* batman  cause Gonz was on the job and I wasnt gonna blow this one like
last time not that I go around blowing things.
Besides remember kids a ***** charges me I give it away now if they offer to pay
thats a diffrent story.

But enough with the foreplay hampsters.

I sat drank and listend to the mans story.
How he fell in love with this strange women who took his money and was a total ****.
Hmm wonder what she'll be up to after this annoying ***** jumps?

And when I caught her with my best friend that was the final straw.
Its all over **** life !.
So did you get this all on camera?
What !!!
Why would I do that?
Idk hell man  just thought it'd be fun to watch I mean who doeant like drinking and watching ****?
I know the Hello staff  seems to keep things running great on it.

You are are ******* mental you know that?
Maybe but im not the one wasting ***** with a kickass ****** living at home
sure ya gotta pay but dude your getting free shows its like living in Germany
sure kinda ***** but hey beats writting perverted things that no one reads on a website that
died years ago and no one wants you on much like there ******* daughter.

You sick ***** you want my life so much you can have it!!
The man shouted in his outside voice once is okay when outside but if we were inside
id really be ******.

Just have my life you demmented *******.
Really sir you just made me happier than that talentless **** Russel Brand after escaping
the clutches of the preaching hottie drag queen Katy Perry.
Im kidding she's great to watch with the sound off.

The man looked puzzled again I swear im begining to think he might have lied .
Cause he seemed  more from a third world country like  Indiana.
Hey where the hell do you think your going!?

Hey wheres my.
The man fumbled through his pockets .
Looking for these I asked holding up a pair of keys.
Hey bring thoose back right now !

Amigo sure I could  hang around here listen to ya **** and moan.
But hey you said i could have your life.
And being you wanna play man on a ledge I figure why the **** not.

You see what's one guys ***** rotten cheating ***** of a wife is another guys
kick **** party to go so later.
Wait stop please Im not gonna jump  she's a ***** but I love her .
And the thought of your demmented *** living in my house  ***** it life's not that bad please
I want my life back.

My friend ya see thats all I wanted to hear.
I tossed the keys in one of thoose corney *** movie moments that guys go to just to make the laidies happy and in the hope they'll get laid.

The keys flew through air  the man put his hand in the air tears in eye's
so happy he totally forgot he was still standing on the ledge.
And he screamed like a school girl as he fell to his death it was a twisted scene oh well.

I had no time to reflect cause i was off like a madman with a date with a ***** little hampster
Hey someone had to console this woman and who better than the person who spent those last
hours with him.
And was kinda responssible for his deatn but hey whats in the details.

Untill next time hampsters you stay crazy.
And remember when all hope is lost learn to hotwire a car and get the **** outta there.
Thanks for the important life skills grandpa.

Adios.

Gonzo has left the site.

we dream our desire,
we do it and admire,
we seek diffrent way to walk,
we want diffrent people to talk,
we take diffrent paths and rides,
we love to do this because it multilplies,
our thrill which **** our fears,
because fear brings tears,
we meet new people we intoduce ourselves to them,
then we start making them to realise,
that we are now a part of ther lives,
and we also start caring about themselves,
to keep ourselvs alive,
we choose the best things we see,
we bring new thoughts to do beat the,
king of time 'the clock',
we learn new things,
so that we have proud and tricks,
to tackle new problems,
and become  hero within ourselves,
developing ourself strong is our aim,
if we are not able to do it then we blame,
our situations ,surroundings & others,
but we never see what we have done & we are just saying that i does'nt matters,
and say i am always right,
it's the human nature which is litte bit dark little bit bright..

I am one voice I am alone
But I hear a ringing in the
Distance,  It could be imagined
I could be only one in this land
Of perpetual darkness.

Could there be anyone else but
Me, I hear echoes as if something
Far but near, I am in the vastness
Of a blinding white, There has
To be more to this than me.

"I run in blackness never a direction seen"
"I run though blinded by what isn't seen"

I reach this edge as if a finite space,
Mirrored, contorted images,
An aura of what that which is
Opposite to me.

Running until I hit upon a enclosed space,
I see a detachment of what is viewed.
I'd look upon, as my features blinded
By this reflection of confusion, bathed
In purest puzzlement.*

I touch the boundary
I touch upon  the confines

"Yours"*
"Ours"

Palms  grasp upon each, a moment of clarity
As what was single parts unite as a merged
Thought of right or wrong, a conscience,
Of two parts that on meeting became the
Same but singularly separated. Voices that
Speak in sync, but always different
together and apart as *one.

Dear little me
I'm sorry
Sorry for all those times you wanted to be happy but scared that something bad will happen.
Sorry for all those times you had to worry about all the things you shouldn't have worried about.
Sorry for all the night you had butterflies in your stomach throat burning tears on your face and having to pretend you fine .

Dear little me
I'm sorry for taking your childhood away having trust issues at a young age .
I'm sorry for all those times you wanted to play but was scared cause you were diffrent.
Sorry for all those times you were scared but no one was there for you .
Sorry for those times you had to sleep on the couch waiting for someone who you didn't know would come back.
Sorry for those times you waited for a shooting star to make one wish but it didn't come.

Dear little me
I'm sorry
But I'm glad cause this has made me what I'am

Innuendos conjure concepts of
untruths that only the sensible
let not belittle there perceptions

But there are those like sheep are
herded unto the whispers that
blossom on wanting thoughts.

Within each wave of wording changing
upon each beach of thought they wash upon,
now phrased different from once before.

Always listen to the source never the echo
of where it never came forth. A wave only
gets bigger the more splashing is done.

No one knows me
I hide behind shadows
the real me is never showing
and whenever I want to give people a glimpse
they say im not acting like 'me' today
What they really mean is
I''m not acting like they want me to act
I'm not 'acting black'
and im not like they want me to be
and I don't wanna change anything
I like not being real
Then I don't have to feel
I can stand back and watch my life
like a 2-hour movie
Around certian friends I'm cool
but that is only one part of me
I show people diffrent parts of me
and they all know a diffrent me
And im so caught up in all of these personalities
I dont know who I am anymore
I dont have a plan anymore
I dont have a me anymore
I am just a narrator
Watching the characters of my life
watching the diffrent me's roam around and smiling bright
yet im not there
nothing behind my smiles its not that i dont care
its the fact that I AM NOT THERE
Who I am
I don't know anymore
my real personality got lost in the world
and I don't know if I can find it
I don't know If i can look in the mirror and see one person
I don't even know if it is really me looking
I don't know If 'I' even exist
I don't know who the real me is
I don't know if there is a real me
I don't know me
I don't know
And I don't want to

We speak a languege only we understand from the day your hand found my hand our love is not difficult to understand but cannot be explained, you know all my secrets and I know yours, no lies no secrets and no wars afraid to fall yes I am                                      Fall for you no I am not.                                  I explained to you my fears you comforted me assured me I had nothing to worry about she was diffrent she made no promices but her voice sounded like promice itself I flanged my insecurities hoping she would head for the heals but she stayed and she was going nowhere. She told my wounds were fresh and that they needed to heal and she would nature me through my pain and hope that one day I,ll give her a chance to prove to me she she's diffrent.                                                                     She never asked me to trust her but I did   She never asked me to love her yet I did     And Despite all the significant others she signified me. She was my home, my nest, my den, my cradle  where I found peace from the vultures who tried to devour my meat but most importantly the reason why I loved with everything I had was because she sighed when I had to go                        She frowned wen I left                                 She cried when I was gone                        She smiled when I retured.                           If you find anyone who goes through this emotional rollercoaster for you grab her with both arms and never let her go..........

Party girls don't get hurt
Can't feel anything, when will I learn
I push it down, push it down

I wont get hurt if i pretend
I will never end this charade
I 'm not playing games
I push it down till i turn into a diffrent girl

I'm the one "for a good time call"
Phone's blowin' up, they're ringin' my doorbell
I feel the love, feel the love

I am here, im the one they need
They call me a push me on my knees
They keep calling until i stop feeling anything
but i feel the love
the always needing, always wanting love

[Pre-Chorus]
1,2,3 1,2,3 drink
1,2,3 1,2,3 drink
1,2,3 1,2,3 drink

Throw 'em back, 'til I lose count

Throw em back till i stop dreaming
throw em back till I stop hoping for something better
throw em back till i lose count

[Chorus]
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist
Like it doesn't exist
I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier

I'm gonna live like i wont wake up tommorow
I'm gonna live like my life isnt a mess
I'm gonna live until i forget what my life is like
I'm gonna wipe my the tears from my eyes
*I'm just holding on for tonight

I am a jigsaw of many different
Pieces, all of lost instants never
Quite fitting into the moment.

But never the less I am a distorted
Picture of my true self, a frame of
Pieces never quite right but whole.

We speak a languege only we understand from the day your hand found my hand our love is not difficult to understand but cannot be explained, you know all my secrets and I know yours, no lies no secrets and no wars afraid to fall yes I am                                      Fall for you no I am not.                                  I explained to you my fears you comforted me assured me I had nothing to worry about she was diffrent she made no promices but her voice sounded like promice itself I flanged my insecurities hoping she would head for the heals but she stayed and she was going nowhere. She told my wounds were fresh and that they needed to heal and she would nature me through my pain and hope that one day I,ll give her a chance to prove to me she she's diffrent.                                                                     She never asked me to trust her but I did   She never asked me to love her yet I did     And Despite all the significant others she signified me. She was my home, my nest, my den, my cradle  where I found peace from the vultures who tried to devour my meat but most importantly the reason why I loved with everything I had was because she sighed when I had to go                        She frowned wen I left                                 She cried when I was gone                        She smiled when I retured.                           If you find anyone who goes through this emotional rollercoaster for you grab her with both arms and never let her go..........

I  had the chance to have a conversation with a madman .
But I never was a fan of talking to myself besides I had nothing new to say.
We often find ourselves trapped lost in worry over what others may think.

I truly never gave a **** .
Call it ego call it whatever you care to because I wont be listening to begin with.

The only critic that matters is the one that stares back at you in the mirror.

The bottles were scattred monuments to beaten livers and bad decisions.
I awoke like any other morning okay afternoon hungover and to void of ***** to deal with
hampsters or flying monkeys .

The agony was what I was used to but the ringing in my head was altogather a diffrent matter.
it grew louder that constant annoying ring and to my suprize much like the voices in my head after my
usal sixpack and half pint of Wild Turkey it was still there.

It rang and rang and caused such a clatter I had to finally get up off my **** and see what the **** was the matter.
I opened the door to the pub to be met by a bright light jesus christ it was the rapture or one of thoose other
big hippie rock festivals dam you  lalapalooza!

But it was just then I remebred to put on my sunglasses.
That huge annoying lightbulb was a cruel ***** indeed.
Now in the realm of what most called the outdoors the noise was clear and to my suprize it was some
strangley dressed ****** slash recruiter for the Forein Legion or Salvation Army really whats the diffrence
ya see one fashion cult ya seen em all ohh snap!


The woman kept ringing the bell as if in some weird trance and like some strange witch she stood by a kettle
dear Lord! what if she was putting a curse on us all.

Hello sir care to make a donation?
It seems I could pay to keep the witch at bay why hadnt i thought of this scheme myself.
In a slurred voice i spoke to the witch in her native tongue most people call it english.
For ?
I said in a naughty school girl way inwhich a ***** ses to the teacher when she wants good grades
or a ride home with a happy ending.

It's to help the needy on Christmas.  
It seesm the pagan was raising funds for one of her bizzar rituals.
being the reporter with the heart of gold and not grain of sense I asked her to speak of this
strange custom.

It seems as though her good had had one to many and made another little hampster
so far this God sounded like someone I could enjoy a drink with.
Then he called on his homeboys to vist the little dude and give him some totally useless
gifts hope they kept the reciets cause ***** that crap give me a gallon of Turkey and a Xbox

She rambled on with her fairy tale and how now people seem to all give things to one another
On this strange holiday .
Boy like that will ever catch on sister .

She jingled her bell as i jumped and screamed like a little girl a very manly little girl may i add
dear lord woman !
That noise you may use your magic to scare other's into paying you but when I pay
a woman it usally ends in *** okay almost always.

She looked at me deepley she must have been undersing me with her eyes i felt so ***** in the right kinda way.
But enough with the foreplay children.
Are you insane?

The witch asked in a angry voice her grip on her bell tighten she spoke again.
get outta here  you ******.
Yeah i know she was totally into me.

Witch I know you've cast a spell on me so why toil with your silly made up holiday scheme.
Of all the pubs you could have decided to hook in front of you picked the home of
Hello's favorite guilty pleasure .
I say we cut through this silly spell  **** and go into the bar and i give you the most forgetable experience of your life.
Hey as long as im happy thats all that counts kids.

She paused caught deep in the moment then asked whats Hello?
Oh that was a site that used to be really fun and now really isnt.
She paused yet again pulling in her magic purse often used by witches
and candy **** singers like Justin Bieber!

She pulled from it some magic spray that blinded me.
the pain was terrible i herd her blow a whistle  lucky whistle.
Calling her warlocks who I feared were powerful and *****.

Soon I  found myself locked in a dungeon with other strange people all under spells.
there was a man dressed as a pagan God calling himself Santa
Seems he liked to play with his candy cane in public.
Yeah who doesnt?

The days passed and i was put through a horrible torture worse than having
to watch the O network or listening to Justin Beiber that musiacal ****.
I went days without  my ***** i was put into a strange state called sober.

Finally the curse was lifted as the guard showed me out he informed me
it was cause it was Christmas .
Dear lord !
The witch had  cast her spell over the world.

So as I sit in the confines of my Pub whiskey flowing like water.
I've learned beware of this bell ringing witch and her tales of strange Gods
and give or fall victem to her charms as did I.

Untill next time stay crazy hampsters.

Under over round and round,
I look above and below, to what
I have found.

Inside outside side to side, its
how you look at it that decides
what view we see all around,
for every view will be different
perspective you see.

For perspective is what each does
see, each view will never be the
same, as the view from before
will have already changed.

We all see the world from different
places, different views , we all are
looking. But with each moment
passing its a different view.

I can feel my heart throbbing right now
It’s damaged, but none the less optimistic
But that’s the problem, my heart sees the best in everything and everyone
And in result, gets hurt
My heart is trying it’s best to piece itself back together and bandadge all its wounds
But this time it’s a little diffrent
This time it’s having trouble fitting every piece into the right spot
Like a puzzle piece where it does not belong
I can feel my heart throbbing right now
It is sitting in my rib cage in a state of blank confusion
“ Why can’t i fix myself this time ?”
“ Why does it hurt so bad?”
“ What do i do now ?”
My heart asked
They say there is no wound time cannot heal
That things can only go up from here now that i have hit rock bottom
But this time, my heart has no motivation left
It is tired of the same disappointing routine of building itself back up just to break again
So instead, my heart decided to put up walls
Walls that would guarantee no one could be let in
Because when you depend your happiness on someone else
They have complete control of your emotions
Do not give someone that kind of power like I did
I can feel my heart throbbing right now

Before I met you
I never saw myself
Loving another mans child
Like she was my own
Before I met you
I never saw myself
With just one woman
For the rest of my life
But now
I dont see my self
Going one day
With out you
Because I wouldn't trade
One day with you
For a million years
Any other way
I want to spend
My life with you
Give you and her
All u have to offer
To see you smile
To see you be happy
Because I love you
And I mean it

Though they have
Different tongues
All religions
Have the same speech,
Peace,Love, Considerateness
And Hope
Are what each preach!

Is it not  then
A glitch
Under the guise of religion
To teach
"Spell death!'
To s/he who has
a different faith!

We are all caterpillars
       waiting for that moment.

That transforms  us to a
                 butterfly of reasoning.

We will in that moment,
              fly higher than ever before.

We are all thoughts that aren't
                              as tuned as others.
But even though we see through
                              different lenses
some lessons can be learnt
        from the refraction of others view.

When you're hiding in a closet thinking no one really knows,
And you do the things they tell you, lifestyle,house,and even clothes,
What's the point in being someone even you can't recognise,
When the real you is much nicer, never mind the rough disguise,
Shake the cobwebs off and show yourself, i promise you'll feel better,
And the ones who diss you matter not, just tell them"Write a letter",
You're unique, a one off, all your own, don't let them tell you diffrent,
You may inspire some other ones to follow you, how excellent!!!

I am what I am no changing that,
I was once like you, but that was
a diffrent time no longer am I that.

I walk all day and in to the night,
If you meet me alone you may be
shocked that I look like that.
My hair not brushed my teeth not
White now, but are yellow and black.

My clothes are filthy, you look and
Say is there brains on that. I walk
Never run, I cant be doing with that.
Have you met my friends, they don't
Say much except aaaahhh, and a gurgle
But thats the food swallowing back.

You can run, you may even hide, but
One day you,ll be one of us, it only
Takes a bite. I love flesh in the morning,
Noon or night, doesn't bother me if
Your a screamer or lie there like a sack.

When I'm finished you,ll not have
To worry as you,ll soon come back.
The life of a zombie is walking long
Distances, not a lot of chit chat, but
When I see food you better run as
I,ll be wanting a piece of that.

You're so Beautiful in every way in and out.
Like I use to say to you during fair looks dont matter but when I look at you its diffrent than what I look at any other girl.
people that you dated had hurt you which is a shame.
You dont need people like that really you dont need anyone.
People should need you I always hated life until we talked ya I messed up really bad I made you mad which I regret.

I stopped smoking and drinking for you and only.
But it wasnt enough to make you happy so now im sitting alone no one cares.
Thought you did but I sadly mistaken.
I love you so much you wouldnt believe.
I thought you would give me a chance you called me sweet and I took that to heart cause no one said that to me.
But I got jelouse cause of you and alex.
I tried to fight him and he decline I got really ****** because I lost everything.
Just between me and you those nights that we talked were the greatest of all times.

I often wonder
Who I really am
How so much has changed
Over the years
But one question
Still lingers in my heart
Why...

I have many friends
Just like me
But not quite me
Even they wonder the same
Why...

I felt I was diffrent
I felt so out of place
I felt something was missing
There is an eternal void
Why...

She gave me away
And I dont know why
So many questions
The answers I may never find
God put me here
For reasons still unrevealed
Until he shows me
I may never know.

It is hard being adopted
With questions unanswered
But something wonderful
Always makes me smile

I would never
Have
What I have now
If it wasnt for the adoption
I have a wonderful
Loving
Protective
Tight knit family
I call my own.
I have three children
Whom I love and protect with my life.
My parents
Whom
At times
Do tend to
Get on my last nerve
With the lectures
But deep down
I know they love me

They love me
The best they can
This is my legacy
This is who I am..
I am an adopted child
And im grateful
My family is apart of
My adopted legacy.