It was a dark and stormy night the wind tasted of emptyness of the midnight hour. The man was broken as he viewed the ledge and as he stepped out apon it he seemed more lost than Elton John in a ***** house.
******* stupid *****! He threw the picture into the night as it made it's way to the dark waters below. Then taking a deep chug from the bottle he began to fling the bottle as the picture befor.
****** man hold on! the man shocked almost fell he thought he was alone. Who the **** are you!
The stange looking man who sat apon the ledge and smelled of week long ****** and a stripper or two. Look man dont try to stop me im jumping and that's it.
Hey amigo I dont give a **** if ya jump but if your gonna jump and toss a bottle at least make sure it's empty ******* duh theres wino's all over the world and one right next to ya that right now are dying for a drink.
The man like most people in the pressense of Gonzo looked at me with strange mix of aww and **** my life that they all seem to share. Im gonna jump and all you care about is the ******* bottle! My good man im hurt besides ya gotta wallet to duh not like your gonna need it besides someone has to notify the cops besides I might get a reward I always wanted to get on a show besides cops.
What? The man said puzzled im guessing being he didnt follow so easily he must be Canadian. Okay okay you got me I was also on Locked Up okay and Americas Most Wanted and maybe To Catch A Perdator that Chris Hanson what a ***** tease.
Look ****** get the **** away from me here's the ******* bottle as for my wallet here ya go but my ***** cheating ***** of a wife beat ya to the money. So your wifes a ***** and you still have to pay sir I belive your suffering from dellusion here have a drink with me.
The man was far worse than I thought not only a Canadian he seemed to be suffering from some mental issues Jesus was it fate that a rational man as I would be hanging out okay passed out on this very same bridge. ******* batman cause Gonz was on the job and I wasnt gonna blow this one like last time not that I go around blowing things. Besides remember kids a ***** charges me I give it away now if they offer to pay thats a diffrent story.
But enough with the foreplay hampsters.
I sat drank and listend to the mans story. How he fell in love with this strange women who took his money and was a total ****. Hmm wonder what she'll be up to after this annoying ***** jumps?
And when I caught her with my best friend that was the final straw. Its all over **** life !. So did you get this all on camera? What !!! Why would I do that? Idk hell man just thought it'd be fun to watch I mean who doeant like drinking and watching ****? I know the Hello staff seems to keep things running great on it.
You are are ******* mental you know that? Maybe but im not the one wasting ***** with a kickass ****** living at home sure ya gotta pay but dude your getting free shows its like living in Germany sure kinda ***** but hey beats writting perverted things that no one reads on a website that died years ago and no one wants you on much like there ******* daughter.
You sick ***** you want my life so much you can have it!! The man shouted in his outside voice once is okay when outside but if we were inside id really be ******.
Just have my life you demmented *******. Really sir you just made me happier than that talentless **** Russel Brand after escaping the clutches of the preaching hottie drag queen Katy Perry. Im kidding she's great to watch with the sound off.
The man looked puzzled again I swear im begining to think he might have lied . Cause he seemed more from a third world country like Indiana. Hey where the hell do you think your going!?
Hey wheres my. The man fumbled through his pockets . Looking for these I asked holding up a pair of keys. Hey bring thoose back right now !
Amigo sure I could hang around here listen to ya **** and moan. But hey you said i could have your life. And being you wanna play man on a ledge I figure why the **** not.
You see what's one guys ***** rotten cheating ***** of a wife is another guys kick **** party to go so later. Wait stop please Im not gonna jump she's a ***** but I love her . And the thought of your demmented *** living in my house ***** it life's not that bad please I want my life back.
My friend ya see thats all I wanted to hear. I tossed the keys in one of thoose corney *** movie moments that guys go to just to make the laidies happy and in the hope they'll get laid.
The keys flew through air the man put his hand in the air tears in eye's so happy he totally forgot he was still standing on the ledge. And he screamed like a school girl as he fell to his death it was a twisted scene oh well.
I had no time to reflect cause i was off like a madman with a date with a ***** little hampster Hey someone had to console this woman and who better than the person who spent those last hours with him. And was kinda responssible for his deatn but hey whats in the details.
Untill next time hampsters you stay crazy. And remember when all hope is lost learn to hotwire a car and get the **** outta there. Thanks for the important life skills grandpa.