"burdening" poems
burdening my feet
placed so delicately on my bruised shoulders
the nebulous weight of your being is-
without a question left in heart-
the reason I stand stationary amongst poisonous smiles
Feb 10, 2015
Feb 10, 2015 at 7:54 AM UTC
My mother tongue got cut off
I’ve been bleeding in my mouth ever since
But I learned to cope with the pain
Because no one with my mothers tongue has been able to
Show me how to grow it back.
Hair grows back easily though.
It keeps my head warm
So my thoughts can sit comfortably
While trying to process what the **** everyone’s saying,
Without burdening the translator who just wants to listen.
I try but can’t listen or speak
It turns into a silent loud noise
This language barrier pulls my hair
My thoughts release with no refuge
It’s cold out here I try and tell them
But no one can hear me.
So I try to improvise and improvise
I wana say I love you. I’ll try and show you how.
I can’t verbalize my humor
It makes me cry.
Now they wont get to know me as deeply
As I dig for them and they dig for me.
Then they ask me how could you not learn your language
As if I hate it
I ask them do you know my story
I did not choose this.
It’s not their fault
It’s not my fault
Idk what was conspiring against me or with me
To make this happen.
So as I try and learn to grow back my mothers tongue
I pray that this is a gift
And its curse like symptoms is only a mask
I pray this is a gift
And its curse like symptoms is only a mask
I pray this is a gift
And its curse like symptoms is only a mask
Amen
Jul 3, 2016
Jul 3, 2016 at 3:42 AM UTC
rolling nimbus sky
heavy black rainbow clouds swell
burdening winds load
words in the wind*
Mar 22, 2017
Mar 22, 2017 at 8:48 PM UTC
Congratulations
Your mom would've been so proud
Instead of going the socially unacceptable route of drugs and eating disorders
You went the slightly-more-acceptable route of disconnection, isolation, pain and emptiness
Just like she did
Except without the drugs.
So as long as you're not burdening any of us
And as long as we're happy with one word answers when we ask about your well being
Go ahead and cry on your floor like you always do
No one will bother you
Because you have a degree and a job.
Who cares about how you really feel?
You've done so well going through so much.
Congratulations.
Aug 10, 2014
Aug 10, 2014 at 2:25 AM UTC
Watch the sunrise
Fa
LL
Right into your brown eyes
so softly
Golden light
That St ri ke s me to my core
Drowning in your orbit
Here at sunset we meet again
Mi amor
Te amo
Like a
C O A T of armor
Your love envelopes me
Delivers me
from the wei
ght of trauma
Burdening, my soul
You ignite
Something, everything within me
It took light years
For you and i
To col——llllllide
right in this moment
Incessantly yours
Forever
Drowning in your orbit
Here at sunset we meet again
Jan 4, 2023
Jan 4, 2023 at 7:17 PM UTC
Often, when I’ve escaped the strain,
The weight, the freight, burdening encumbrance
Of human society, community unleashed,
Profound distress, and a bit on the side—
I’ll contemplate
Of their judgements unknown,
Their penetrating, presumptuous eyes—
They tell me they love me, reputation irrelevant,
Trespasses, failures, habits—all disregarded,
And still I laze in my quaking of
Sleeplessness from apprehension
Pondering their thoughts obscured by their words
Heavens, a shrieking invasion!
Please don’t take that as the slightest indication
That I’m in any case a half-benevolent essence of them all
My ruminations drenched with a display of myself, my actions, my appearance
That’s proof enough that I can’t occupy a moment without me as the focal point
How can anyone be so vain
Low self-esteem shall consume my life, my breath,
And all of those thoughts,
So soon to drain...
Jul 6, 2014
Jul 6, 2014 at 7:38 PM UTC
It is believed to exist;
It is often what we as people strive for;
Something for which we are prepared to persist.
Perfection is a drug, perfection is a demon;
Perfection is what often makes us forget that we are human;
By virtue of expectation,
We engulf one another in clouds of smoke;
Creating a screen for ourselves,
Causing one another to choke;
We make it a burden for others;
Make their lives unbearable,
Yet we ourselves never want to bear this yoke.
Perfection as an ideal isn’t bad,
It has brought man to, and through,
Millennia where men believe in themselves.
Man, as a creature, will never fly,
But we have inventions that bring us perfectly close.
We’ve created environments that allow us to do things at lightning speed;
We’ve more or less streamlined our every need.
But that’s what we don’t get!
Perfection, however lovely, will forever be an ideal;
We all need to understand that it isn’t real;
Like most things on earth, perfection is relative.
I’m not , for one moment, suggesting that we stop being competitive!
No, not at all!
All I suggest is that we stop burdening one another;
Be it you friend, wife, husband, father, mother, sister or brother.
The societal norm of giving each other 10 crosses at a time,
With no apparent reason, is only going to cause the issue to deepen;
Propagate itself, as we bid humanity adieu.
Do not expect what you cannot give,
That, for me, is the better way to live;
And if you can give something to others,
Try and not expect it back always.
For we are all human,
And can only dream of perfection in any case.......
Aug 3, 2012
Aug 3, 2012 at 11:39 AM UTC
A calamity of views abused
When the alcohol is strong
The choices go wrong
Everyones offend through Misinterpreted temptation
Using my over analyzing brain to calm the degraded
Crying over a mundane sane
Looking for persuasion
Through persecution
Picking out your weaknesses
Bleakness, is a majestic trait
Not intentionally
Burdening their agony
My name is animosity
I depict a character that sympathizes
Your alibies
Using my vulnerability
Contaminated humility
Finding
The hiding
No problem suggesting
My dark secrets of the night
Applying my skits that fit right
Paranoid to be viewed in a mortifying light
I would be lying denying my animalistic ride
I have scrutinized
Remorsing
I see earth born
Godly you stand
In the morning
Behold deformities
You fit the norm
I bow to your Godly proportion
In vein this I pray
Amen
May 13, 2016
May 13, 2016 at 8:41 PM UTC
A pale yellow butterfly weaves in-between the legs of Plai-Jum Pui.
In the middle of the Thai jungle the hard sun beating down,
it tempts this angelic beast with its life.
Trusting in an elephant not to step on you,
Rocking back and forth on the bones of his back.
I guess I've done the same.
A Boeing jet, double decker.
Five hundred and twenty five people balancing on its wings.
The turbulence cradles us back to sleep,
finding motherly comfort in the foreign flight attendants reassuring words.
Having faith in aluminum sheets,
we all drift back to sleep.
A knock on the door and a call from the neighbor,
complaints of boundaries being resisted and property abused.
Fences acting as a seam to a fiery feud.
Guardian of their own selfish wills.
The worst war is fought from within,
a fight with your own kin.
A naive creature is spared its life,
confiding in the unsure and unreliable.
lacking trust for each other,
and burdening these winged seraphs and mothers.
The assumed minor species rely on one another,
having no need for metal protection and a religious buffer.
Nov 20, 2012
Nov 20, 2012 at 3:45 PM UTC
My lungs are filled with air
Burdening the breath
that lives in me everyday
Growing weary and weak
Waiting around for
you to take my breath away
And fill my lungs with love.
Aug 23, 2013
Aug 23, 2013 at 5:16 PM UTC
Absolutely nothing could set me apart from the rest of the world
But each and every thought of mine has unfurled
I cannot believe I could see before, my eyes are blurred
It's like being drunk in eyesight, all my words are slurred
There's nothing all that special about me, I'm not important
I do not mean to be insensitive, I'm just being blunt
I cannot see beyond my future, I see only a blank slate
Even if there's nothing there, it's such a tiresome weight
Absolutely nothing makes me special, not one thing
But I still cannot help myself, I find that I cling
The people who tell me I'm different are lying
I'm absolutely nothing, endlessly sighing
There are several burdening weights atop my shoulders
The mental weight is heavier than one thousand boulders
I can feel them slowly pushing me down
Soon enough, I'll have a mental breakdown
Absolutely nothing is all I'll ever be, let's face it
Forever I'll be here, suffering, I'll never quit
There's still something I'm missing, I'm positive
My thoughts and voice are holding me captive
Nov 9, 2018
Nov 9, 2018 at 9:30 AM UTC
Am still, watching myself keen,
As I dissolve now slowly unseen.
A phantom built painstakingly
On lies,half-truths,all hidden guilt.
Worldly bar of expectations heavy,
Affecting false and burdening a levy.
I dared, only for you my sacred lover,
My humanity too,so desperate to flower.
I'm now destiny broken,so invulnerable,
Barriers none whatever,nothing indefensible!
Oct 22, 2012
Oct 22, 2012 at 4:27 PM UTC
Let the a.n.t.s sleep
Warm and dry blankets
Let the victories of the future brace you
Body molesting wind demons
false but True
Cloak yourself in my laughter
Grab reality and pull a book out of your spleen,
with a Dim mak to sentence your fears to death.
The first page is eternity,
Stay within the pleasure, bathe in it,
Body hyper aware, unclouded vision
Disrobe, and bathe in it
Open the door and begin
It is Unjust not to
Press Play.....
It will all rush forward, and you will breath freely.
Trumpeted like the arrival of an avatar of the love goddess.
Cool cheeks, unmarked by tear tracks..
Built back up with the love you feared had departed.
I'm pitiful alone.
It is emotions prerogative to make its opinion known.
These feelings cannot be ignored.
Doing so makes things worse.
Let confidence be always with you
For all time
Unending
Everyday
All day long
You can honestly talk to me.
Trivial questions.
Something burdening your breast.
I can make you feel better, if only for a handfull of minutes.
You'll float away, but later crash on heavy thought.
However....
You know
For several reasons
The outcome is always the same
Mind games are involuntary muscle spasms,
it is an affliction of chaos tourettes, inherited from a goblin ancestor,
Straighten your shoulders, I am here to reassure you,
Every day it will get lighter
The stress will be less, the panic will simmer
The message is salvation, in acceptance of the depth of the love felt for you.
I am here to listem.
Stop being kicked around by your thoughts.
Feel instead, gliding into a gathering of like minds.
I dare not say the full extent of what I know, and what I feel is transparent.
It grants me sanity
The compulsion to sing
Satisfying smashed hearts
Feeding your lips
Sanctifying your suffering into submission
Fulfilling a proper apology for the perversions.
You have won the war.
Sep 6, 2012
Sep 6, 2012 at 3:17 PM UTC
"Oh, murmur, murmur me again to peace!"
(from the libretto of Handel's Semele -
opera.stanford.edu/iu/libretti/semele.htm)
think of your ears as an
ever alert, high pitched,
sensory tuning fork,
an aural radar, searching for that
acute, oblique,
perforating and poking phrase,
that lost airplane of solace
buried and too well hid
in the vastness of
empty, characterless searchable seas
that rarely yield up their
comforting finery
when discovered, tripped upon,
instant recognition pleads
"write me down,
write me up,
delve me,
determine me,
make me more!"
t'is a thrumming vibrato
interfering with mind,
that phrase, that phrase, that phrase
"Oh, murmur, murmur me again to peace!"
content coursing through the eyes,
piercing veils of hum drum dumbing down,
a life spying drone eliciting excitedly
a high value target,
an unexpected mission,
camouflaged amidst the
chit chat droning of the
choking ordinary and commonplace
*murmur me, with soft downy charms,
these words discovered
recoursed and intended well to
pointedly offset and contradict
their very own
tumultuous discovery uncovering,
tear tongue me
with calming, lapping word wages,
hymns harmonious and fine homilies,
a call, a request,
a bequest
to sedate my shrill life,
You
murmur me again to peace*
even the words
be prepared to sacrifice, surrender,
but promise me that
the Justice of
-just-
thy tone,
thy inflections,
will gentle
the infecting turbulence
of being a plain, tried and trialed human
let me not
catalogue the onerous,
the burdening barbell weights,
we carry for no purpose
Give us
our daily bread of a singular
phrase~prayer~poem,
our verbal bond, modest sequest,
honey oatmeal, cut up strawberried
jewel,
give it, me this day,
my daily soothing
"Oh, murmur, murmur me again to peace!"
Mar 14, 2015
Mar 14, 2015 at 8:24 AM UTC
The boy with the heart winning smile,
He’s always asked to stay a while,
Girls love his laugh and guys like his smirk,
But what they don’t know?
Is it’s so much work..
He smiles so he won’t talk
He smiles so they won’t analyze his walk,
A walk that is limping and numb,
From the forenight’s rigors he had done.
To himself so he could actually feel something,
Cause I mean pain and love it’s the same..Right?
But so he smiles,
he smiles so he keeps the persona of a magnificent confident boy,
When all he truly feels like is someone’s little toy,
Because you tell them that he mangled your emotions,
When really you were the one who gave him the false love potion.
Treating him like he was never going to disappear,
Like he was your little knight carrying your burdening spear,
But then when he finally drops your ploy,
And stops being yours obedient little toy,
All of a sudden he’s the monster,
The one who tore YOUR heart asunder.
And that’s what he grows to believe,
Seeing how he’s stills naive,
So he puts himself back in his armor,
Clamps the latches tight and closes the visor,
Because he doesn’t want that to happen again,
He’s already face pain greater then some men,
And the only thing he’s ever held dear,
Was the hope that one day,
someone would hear.
Hear the pains through his winning smile,
Notice his walk is a little misguiled,
The hope that someone would tear off his armor,
Lift his visor,
And say,
N’ayez pas peur mon amour
But.. Who would go through that trial?
For the boy asked to stay.. Just a while,
Who will fix the boy,
With the hear splitting smile?
May 29, 2014
May 29, 2014 at 6:15 PM UTC
I am nothing, nothing but oblivion,
a vast emptiness within a breathing host.
If you were to rip me open,
cut me down the middle,
crank apart my ribs,
there would only be a numb void.
Maybe the world would be inhaled
into my stomach,
for me to regurgitate,
stripped of all it's essential beauty.
No more stars, I will keep them for myself,
let the moon shine it's dull light
in the spotlight, with no one to share it's empty
stage.
Let the sky be dumbfounded with loss
and void of illumination,
and maybe with star-filled guts
I will shine again.
Everything I am,
everything i touch,
is robbed of love and joy,
for I am nothing but an afterthought
left by the shadow of death.
I'm surprised I can be seen at all,
for I am transparent to myself.
My dreams and goals seem a whisper
from the past,
warm and inviting,
their words tickling my ears
with skeletal promises,
concrete at the touch, but
with no deeper substance.
Filthy liar, tease.
I reach and grasp and tear my limbs,
praying to feel even the vague
memory of hope upon my fingertips.
I long for escape,
escape from an insomniacs dream,
the lines of reality and ficiton blurred into one,
for only nightmares and goblins await me
in my bed of anvil pillows and maggot ridden matresses.
Escape,
for even the stroke of my pencil,
once so lively as it romanced me into a verse,
paints a tragedy.
But mostly,I want to fly into the night sky and explode,
burdening the world with all the negativity I've gathered over the years.
And release all the beauty and potential I've stolen and hidden away.
With the anarchy that is my psyche, I will restore balance.
I am everything.
Nov 13, 2011
Nov 13, 2011 at 5:23 PM UTC
I don't have the means or the time
and it is beating down my heart to where I can't breathe.
In my head I am soaring to the end with great purpose
and stealing all the moments to share with no one.
Staggering, swaying, I stumble toward the prize.
The conquest is there, I can imagine it.
Within my reach, it is still miles away.
Why can't I just take it, possess it?
What stops me?
I know I want it, I know I deserve it.
But maybe I don't know anything at all.
I've lost what is real, what is actual.
Too many pictures develop in my head
of what can be, what should be, what could be.
Indecision has become a way of life.
A weigh of life.
Burdening the spirit with relentless torment.
What seems so easy to others
Becomes a festival of despair.
A mockery of triumph.
There is elation in the capture.
There is misery in the letdown.
If I could just know what is right,
Even if the right is truly wrong.
Who shares this wavering doubt?
Responsibility is mine alone,
but please take the load away from me.
I hold onto hope, hold onto forward.
To stagger back would only extend the pain,
without ever knowing the truth.
The ability to recognize is such a tremendous gift.
Assurance with the cards of play
Belief that what is wrong will be exact
Confidence in self to make the right choice.
Feb 4, 2013
Feb 4, 2013 at 10:29 AM UTC
something unexpected yet so ordinary happened
last night
it made me wonder how exactly and
why exactly
the ordinary parts of my life are often so
extraordinary
that extraordinary, to me, has to be more than
exceptionally marvellous and nowhere near far from
outstandingly incredible
some people call it high standards,
like the top step of the ladder
I thought
last night was incredible
because you kiss exactly like how I kiss and the shock fluttered
like bits of confetti and glitter on my tongue and lips and
all over my goosebumpy skin
the cadency of my heart was somehow simultaneously
rampant and rested
my body fully invested
in yours
my body completely suggesting
it’s yours
to touch, to make feel good, to adore
the divine woman, curved and open
eyes and skin glowing
arousal growing
bodies non-existent, spirit flowing
exceptionally marvellous
I jitter in silence, knowing myself
and patterns alike
I try to throw away this burdening muddy stick of
I-always-end-up-getting-sick
of things eventually
but obviously
it’s easier to neglect the fact
that this stick is a boomerang
and it always comes right back
Feb 3, 2014
Feb 3, 2014 at 7:14 PM UTC
Escape
My belly emerges above the ripple in the water
While the rainbow hue of small delicate bubbles pop the moment they make contact with my skin
Exposed the goose bumps grow around my areolas
I think of the small toes
Bumping, tickling the inside of me
While a heart beat
Moves rhythmically with me
How the butterflies sing me to sleep when
Her eyes glow
A burdening row of uncontrollable
Addicting
Protection
I watch as his fingers trace the porcelain
The water cascades in
Roaring, boiling
My lips purse together
While the steam
Emerges from the ends of the mug
Water dripping down my shoulders
Pooling at the ends of my hair
Breathing deeply
Embody
Eternity
Sep 21, 2017
Sep 21, 2017 at 11:16 PM UTC
It happens, like drifting, like falling, and her words calming and refreshing like the gust of strong breeze in the month of June,
Take me way, from the polluted world, this world so selfish, so eager to take your love like industrialists acquiring as much of land as they can,
But never wearing heart their on their sleeve, or like cutting farmlands and building casinos on them rearing greed,
No, no you’re not beautiful, look in the mirror; can u see the innocence and honesty?
That you lost to thousand lies written on texts, spoken on phones, lies gradually building and swirling like tornadoes breathed into eyes, eyes that once loved you and glowed when you spoke
I have lost the innocence, in the hurry to grow up, speaking of things and words that appear mature to me, but knowing that the meaning of these words is lost to me, for my heart yearns to hope again,
Hopes to learn to trust again, to believe that love is all that we need. But all of these are lies.
The growing up is painful and so is living in this world which accurately teaches you math’s and physics, but only leaves you to calculate the demonic deeds you do,
And how your are only surrounded by ghosts of what used to be honest mass of skin and bones.
And, and if your are truly lucky and may have showered love on your close ones, showers like that of July bursting and lighting up the earth with buds of belief of survival and loved the way tree roots are loyal to the soil with your past lovers
Then, it happens like lightening in deserts, all your fears drown but a new kind of fear also crashes against your body,
It happens like that, you can’t breathe without them but then again they are the only ones that can steal your breath from your lungs by kissing someone else,
But they mend your broken wing of lost trust, and show you again what it feels like to swing back and forth on the rainbow colored swings in the afternoon rain, with your hair flying everywhere and your heart finally feeling free of this burdening world,
And they show you how, love is all you need. And that isn’t a lie
Jan 18, 2014
Jan 18, 2014 at 12:50 PM UTC
Dead men sour the shores as waves
play at their feet. Bored, the water
will tug the stiffs into frothy sea,
spewing brine into foul air.
Ideas that once were
now lie at the mercy of burdening waves,
are carried down, deep into current,
to feed the mouths of bottom feeders
without pride nor dignity.
They will choke to death on crowns
of yesterday, rotten meat of men
still digging at the bottom of the sea.
May 7, 2010
May 7, 2010 at 8:43 PM UTC
Look at the world through the eyes of a child
As if everything you see is new
Take wonder in the rising sun
In the grass covered with dew
Watch the morning birds
Waking up and taking flight
Finding food for their young
Who are hungry from the night
Watch the flowers reaching up
To catch the morning sun
Take rejoice in your life
A new day has begun!!
Watch the world around
As you go thru each day
Smile at a stranger
Help someone along the way
Be grateful for each breath you take
Give someone a helping hand
Smell the roses along your way
Feel your toes in the sand
Experience all that is around you
Don't live with blinders on
Let go of all that is burdening you
And in the end, you'll have won
September 2, 2016
Sep 2, 2016
Sep 2, 2016 at 3:09 PM UTC
As the leaf dies
It loves the earth onto which it falls.
The executioner’s heart breaks as his vain axe falls.
Say “No” to anyone or anything
And you get a huge “No” in return.
Scream at the lover
Who has abandoned you
And the lover is still gone.
Say the parting is all the other’s fault
And you find yourself still alone.
Your sweetest love will get trampelled
Your careful plans ruined
By fires in the alleys of daily life
But there you still stand
Perplexed and searching for meaning in the chaos.
The average man’s an idiot;
His ego rages against a machine
Powered by the unconsciousness of hamburger society
He first fattens, then withers
Becomes totally blind and deaf
To the light and music of his higher self.
Don’t be in the idiot parade.
Say, “Yes” when everyone else says, “No”.
Sit and feel your gut churning
Suffer the static
As your limited mind radio
Tries to find a channel that does not exist.
Eat an unripe bitter peach.
Smile at fear.
Save your energy for the dance of individuation
On the puppet stage.
The love you want so desperately
That you believe can only come from another person
Is in you already.
Everyone seeks what you seek.
They see in your eyes
What you see in their eyes
And neither of you could see the love
If it was not there to begin with.
Look for the love behind the wall
The anthems of projected blame
The paranoid unfair burdening
Placed upon us to provide for others
What we can barely give ourselves.
Postpone your case until Christmas recess
When the judge is tired and careless
And your radical situation may slip between the cracks
Of life’s soul-less bureaucracy.
So your birth was unavoidable;
Your death, its inevitable.
Everything in between
All your radical efforts to be happy
Get down to only one thing –
You must forgive yourself
For being addicted to being perfect
Because you aren’t.
You’re just as lonely and confused as me.
But that’s the intention in this life
To learn to see through the suffering
To have more compassion
For the frailty of yourself and others
Wouldn’t that be nice?
Dec 23, 2011
Dec 23, 2011 at 11:28 PM UTC