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Negra Jul 15
Do I love you or hate myself?
Maybe it’s not a binary
But,
If you don’t love me in the way I want to be loved
Why am I letting it happen?
I think it’s time to do some surgery.

I can’t imagine life without you
But I’m not sure I’m with you

Your absence has directed me inwards
And I’m finding me.
I don’t love me enough
Time to repair.
Negra Jul 15
I don’t always want to be a woman
Sometimes I want to be a girl

Without you taking advantage of me
Without you seeing me as less
Don’t infantilize me

Now can I have a hug
Will you hold my hand?

Does vulnerability only live on this land?

I’m sorry I rhymed
Was that too juvenile for you

Why am I apologizing for my youth?
My inner child can only save me

I love you baby
Negra Jul 15
As I step into the unknown
I’m stepping into myself
Because all I know is that I am here

So thank you to the unknown
For making me meet myself
I’m still meeting me
It hurts

Lots of dust to sweep
But ****
I look good
In a ****** up way.

I’m not totally serene
There’s monsters inside of me
I decided to be friends with all of them

We create sweet sounds of mental symphonies
I see them evolving
Giving me flowers and stuff
Sometimes with secret bombs
But were talking about it

Some days my grip will be weak
But even my weakness is strong

When I fall,
I want to smile
And kiss my wounds
Turn my lips
To the perfect red

I think my blood
Is good fertilizer
I’ll probably let it drip a little
Say hello my tears

I won’t push it away
Cuz I know it will cling
On to me stronger
So I honor you sickness
All of me belongs here

I’m stronger than ever
And dying at the same time.

I’m not here to make you comfortable
I hope you’re comfortable with that.
Negra Feb 16
This is where I'm at.
I don't know what I did wrong
I don't know what I'm doing wrong
I don't know if anything is wrong

I feel wrong
I can't sleep normal
My heart pounds me awake
My psyche says I don't deserve sleep
Till I figure this out

When I try to figure this out
The knot gets more complex
My heart gets louder
I think I give up

I can't tell if giving up is freedom or defeat
I don't know what's wrong
Trying to know makes it worse
Letting go feels unfamiliar
Negra Nov 2018
Trust in the Universe
Trust in God
Trust in yourself
Trust makes me anxious
I don't have it
I preform it
I draw it
I watch how fresh it makes your face
So I freshen mine up too
But there's no untying the knot in my gut
So I come back and ask for trust
I was told trust doesn't ask
It just believes
Negra Sep 2017
I deleted my social medias again
I won't go back until I have a song I'm proud of.

I was waisting away down a timeline of ads
I wasn't connecting with anyone
I connected with awkward cats.
I don't even want a cat.

Maybe I'll fix my TV
Invite some potential friends over
And watch awkward cats together.
Negra Sep 2017
So low
l
o
w
e
r
Lower
Slower
The pain is dragging out
It's depth is slippery
It feels like it's me
I don't believe it though
It's just a heavy jacket
I'm something else underneath that jacket
But ******* ****
I can't find the zipper
I've been in here for a while
Some days I can't tell if this jacket is my skin
Remember it's a jacket
REMEMBER!
It's a battle
Pyou pyou pyou
With myself.
It feels like I'm against the world
But I know it's with myself.
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