"allot" poems
Just about the size of my thumb
Plant so delicate and dumb
little by little I see my henna plant grow
You don't have tongue to talk
You don't have legs to walk
little by little I see my henna plant grow
The sun makes you sweat
And rain makes you wet
little by little I see my henna plant grow
Up grows your shoot
Down grows your root
little by little I see my henna plant grow
One by one leaves sprout
Making you strong and stout
little by little I see my henna plant grow
In this season of spring
Sparrows around you dance and sing
little by little I see my henna plant grow
At times they pluck your leaves
those cute little thieves
little by little I see my henna plant grow
I give a miserly glance but I don't interfere
It is entirely nature's affair.
little by little I see my henna plant grow
Your tiny existence soothes my eyes
I can hear you when others fail hear your voice
little by little I see my henna plant grow
You are Sharing another plant's flowerpot
Don't worry a new *** soon we will allot
little by little I see my henna plant grow
There you will grow bigger and bigger
Your branches will become stiffer and stiffer
little by little I see my henna plant grow
Within you they will make beautiful nest
Sparrows with enthusiasm and zest
little by little I see my henna plant grow
And when you are big and strong
Maybe then I'll be inspired to write another song.
little by little I see my henna plant grow.
little by little I see my henna plant grow.
Nov 13, 2014
Nov 13, 2014 at 9:22 PM UTC
Parts placed in the Machine
Stamped out from a larger piece
Repetitive in nature
They just keep coming
Hordes upon hordes
GOOD LORD
THIS IS ALLOT
But its my plague
No room for the vague
Micrometer zeroed
Bending hero
I conform to fit in
And still get rejected
I guess this factory called life...
Just has zero tolerance.
Dec 13, 2014
Dec 13, 2014 at 4:19 PM UTC
In order to start change you must make the choice to be willing to change
Choices start from the heart then the mind follows
Changes happen after a person realizes that what the affect was on them and those who surround them
Once that certain person begins to start making the right choices then the progress will slowly affect the person
No matter how bad or good the choice may be, you're always left with a choice
After the choice there's always a reaction to whatever action may be, it's left up to you for the outcome
The outcome will always be left up to you, make good choices and good outcome; make bad choices and you get bad outcomes
Change doesn't happen over night or in an blink of an eye, it will take time and willingness to learn what is necessary to change
Not all change is for the good, many people fail to realize that change can be bad results
Not due to the willingness or the time but the focus of which matter is off the right direction and leads to only chaos and destruction
Many of us don't think about where an action my lead, some of us think before we act and that is the difference between right and wrong
With every choice that is choose it leads you to a place that is unknown, darkness or the lightness is the only two options you have
Choices always start from the within, meaning the heart, the soul, and the spirit; without these 3 being focused on the choices to change
there's no point in trying to change
The heart is the muscle that controls who you are
The soul is beyond our reach, it is the one thing that is unique about us as humans
The spirit is higher power inside of us, either from above or from below;
When all of you is one then the change will affect you and those surround you allot more than what it did before
But without your whole self then the choices to change become pointless; you'll just become a creation of your own self destruction
By making choices to change you must have the right mindset and know what you want in life.
Apr 11, 2020
Apr 11, 2020 at 3:48 PM UTC
*Deep within my soul, there's allot of flattered beats
that longing to hear your sound
Look at into my eyes...
My heart won't pin you down
Even the sky wants you to be with me on the sun
We blaze the flames to get burnt
Your love a drink...
drifting throughout the body like “current”
My love craving for the warmth of your sigh
Your moan gives an honor to moon
Look ov'r the wickedness of my shimmering night
The love ‘Red’ but the heart loves the color you wear... ‘Maroon’.*
Oct 31, 2014
Oct 31, 2014 at 3:14 PM UTC
Do you learn,
how do you earn,
if you did not burn
what you do into gray
matter memory.
Memorize by rote,
by rote,
rote,
a reducing game,
I'll call it stacking,
to maximize your
gain of what you
know, I mean know
for certain,
repeated physical
and mental actions
over and over,
over and over,
and over and over,
like a martial artist, doing a kata,
till he is caught doing it in his sleep,
or his nerves are always there
ahead, waiting for him to arrive,
but do we know for certain,
anything?,
photo shopping,
auto correcting,
foolish sexting,
conspiracy theorem,
bring me to life
AWAY
with boredom just a drop of inspiration,
AWAY
with tedium just some time and some space
A WAY
and I can and will learn it all,
with peace as my covering,
peace as my covering,
as my covering,
my covering,
covering.
Honest learning is that which is
involved in dwelling, some times
easily and at others it is a crime,
and a torturous process but in this,
***
"Finally, brethren, whatever is true,
whatever is honorable, whatever is
right, whatever is pure, whatever is
lovely, whatever is of good repute,
if there is any excellence and if
anything worthy of praise,
dwell on these things. "
***
That would be
what honest learning
could be,
where do I start,
memorizing by heart,
when my is heart turning
to stone, hardening,
not fertile and not prepared
for gardening and the
planting of good seed,
use a funny voice,
if you need to memorize,
tape to a mirror in front of
your eyes, your face,
*where you do spend allot of time I might add.
but before you go forward,
I will be forward and
remind you there are better
things, on which to dwell.
©DWE082013
Aug 30, 2013
Aug 30, 2013 at 11:08 PM UTC
Allot of lies and allot of untold secrets
I don't wanna be your friend so go and ask Jesus
because now showing love is a sign of weakness
when confronted you got allot to say but that's needless
I mute out bullshyt so like Ms.Keller i'm just looking and speechless
Please...real nigz couldn't be fake and fake nigz couldn't be real
because in the end you reveal your friends ego ideal and its to be you
so you now they're thinking its surreal
you whisper lies when i'm not in the presence
so unless you reading off info don't say George Ellison in not one sentence
you prolly would think I would respond with vengeance
cause my deference is something you lack in your preference
so all you can do is hate my essence....your style of lies are nonsense
preach what you speak don't lie to yourself
I guess you got allot to prove since you have no rewards on your shelf
so me myself I never hold my breathe on a promise
cause my conscious wont let me consume the nonsense
I guess its from the darkness that turned my heart heartless
but to me being heartless is nothing harmless...
so for friends i'm now apparent because I feel better off contentment
because who likes being looked at transparent...Not me..
Aug 1, 2011
Aug 1, 2011 at 7:19 PM UTC
My dearest Darling
Daddy,
My heart yearns for you,
You make my heart pound.
You'll always be in my heart.
Two
Let our | hearts beet as one.
Be still my beeting heart.
You stole my heart.
My chest is an empty Shell
only your heart can fill.
Eye heart you allot
Heartfelt
<3 4ever, youre Secret
Admirer
Mar 30, 2012
Mar 30, 2012 at 11:43 PM UTC
In a world where these things
move too fast
And us kids
don't get
troubled with choice
There's no variance in life
We get stuck
and then pushed
and then shoved
into things that we don't
quite believe in
then we're deceiving
ourselves
and our minds
and our souls
We don't allot time
to these things
and our goals
become slowly
unattainable
we're unable
to think
for ourselves
our own personal hells
we become.
But one thing I chose in my life
Was the
pattern of my blanket
And in my mind it's a statement
In my mind it's a
declaration
of my
independence
of my
strength to choose
of my
sudden reverence
for
people who know what they want
and they go out and get it
without waiting for a second
their courage makes me
hope that this ****** generation
can be saved
by the power
of someone's motivation.
Cause ambition only gets you so far
then you've gotta make a move
you've gotta pick or choose
And I've always been
so indecisive
With my life
I've been spoon fed
a dream
but that dream wasn't me.
So break
free from the shackles
Break
free from the chains
cause we're horses
with blinders
we're birds
with clipped wings
So break
out of this box
break
into the world
We can't fly yet,
but man,
can we sing.
So
although it's only a blanket
It's a lot more than that
I consider it a fact
Cause to me
This
whole charade of a life
is a myth
it's a 100 ft tall cliff
and we jump.
Oct 8, 2012
Oct 8, 2012 at 10:34 PM UTC
****
It's seems like no matter how hard I vent
No matter how many words are spoken
How many words are typed
There is so much left unsaid
This is why its been so ******* hard to get over your ***
Please leave me alone ......
Please bother me?
Please
I'm so contradictive
But I swear if you asked me back
I'd cry and fall into your arms
I'm such a *****
Why can't I except you don't want me anymore?
Why can't I stop thinking about you?
Why does this hurt so much?
Did you really have to start this and end it so quickly?
Couldn't you have just told me how you really felt?
Why can't I stop crying?
These recurring dreams make waking up so much harder, ****
I don't want them to end.........
There isn't much I'd honestly say if you were right here next to me.
Because I'm scared now of your rejection
And even though you say I made you happy
Deep down I know its some ********
Or maybe its not
But its easier to feel like you hated me
Because I hate me
And you made allot harder to understand men
To understand you
Even though you were already so complicated to read
I just wanna touch you one last time
**** you
Slap you
Cry with you
I know there was something so much deeper between us that you weren't telling me
And now I'll never know
Just like these words you'll never know
Jan 10, 2014
Jan 10, 2014 at 11:58 AM UTC
Maybe if I just stop trying
I'd finally do
All the things I've said I've done
All the promises I've made to you
Maybe if I just stop thinking
I will realize
Too Much thought lays waste to words
And true intention cauterize
Maybe if I just start beleiveing
In something less
I will find peace inside
And live without the stress
But what if I just stopped breathing?
Doesn't that sound great?
I couldn't even question why
There would be no debate
Dec 14, 2014
Dec 14, 2014 at 7:56 PM UTC
Today, I let it all out.
I've ignored the situation and pushed it to the back of my mind
the way the snow plows push the snow to the side of the street.
But for some reason today I just couldn't activate the plow in my mind
that let's me forget about everything and concentrate on the moment.
I started to reminisce and with that came intoxication. I became intoxicated
by the past memories of every time you looked at me, smiled at me,
talked to me, stared at me. I was so foolish, under a rock of such false hope
that I couldn't see the signs clearly directed towards my blind eyes.
But now I can; it all didn't matter, and I don't matter. I highly
doubt you take time out of your day to allot to thinking of me
even in the slightest sense -- it's easy to fill your mind with school
and other occupants that seem to fill whatever section of your
heart could potentially be left for me. Maybe it's only convenient
for you to acknowledge me when you want to be kind or when you
just want a self esteem booster. Funny, how with one single phrase someone's
self esteem is raised while the other person's is crushed under the weight it took
in order to get those words out just to be greeted with another disappointment.
And so now I spent a while just listening to sad songs and letting out all
the tears I promised myself would never leave my eye for you in realizing
whatever I thought we had was never true.
I can't sleep because you're the first image that flashes in my head
but I can't stay awake because all I do is think about you and how
much I want to talk with you and how I can't because then I'll know
a friend is all I'll ever be but all I just want you to do is see the real
me.
Jan 27, 2014
Jan 27, 2014 at 8:58 AM UTC
I think about you every single day
I miss you way more than I miss being happy
Sure, we fought allot
but is that worth all my pain and suffering?
All the tears
All the anger
All the pain
Was that worth it leaving you?
I don’t know
I lost myself last year
I got caught up in my own pain
I never even realized,
What it would do to you
I sit there in class
And I look at you
Thinking, is there anything I can do?
But yet again, will we fight?
The one thing that's holding me back
Do I have the will to go back to you?
Most importantly, do you want to
This is your choice
I know I was stupid
I know I was wrong
All those letters, I lost myself in them
I wish I could fix that
Can we fix what’s broken?
Will you trust me again?
Can I believe you won’t hurt me?
I don’t know
It’s too hard to forget the unforgettable
The past is never the past to me
People told me to move on, forget about it
I told them no
You mean way too much to me
I can’t live another second without you
Give me a chance to show you, I’ve changed
Give me a second chance
I’ll do anything
I would die to have that chance again
You are my everything
If you say no, I’ll cry every night
If you say yes, things will change
I had to leave to back then, it wasn’t my choice
And I know, deep inside, you would come back
That’s just who you are
Some people tell me to stop
I will never stop
I’m nothing without you
Please forgive me, for everything
I was wrong
Nothing was right
I can’t stand avoiding my friends because of you
Forgive me, please
May 28, 2013
May 28, 2013 at 10:32 PM UTC
I am an escape artist
When things are bleak I work the hardest
In my mind I escape the farthest
I only go out side for ideas to harness
Just another day
Feelings of not being ok
In my mind I slip away
Where I can breath and play
I think I will take all of my fears
The ones building up for years
Distort them until colour appears
Or until music hits my ears
Every one out side is trying to get in to find some thing to shatter and break
I feel like my passions are at stake
Even though the ground is starting to shake
To get in here allot of that it would take
No matter what I am going to keep on dreaming even though you want me to wake
The world is crumbling down
Because you are never around
Your not free in your mind; you are bound
You are lost and may never be found
In your mind you will drowned
Dec 24, 2016
Dec 24, 2016 at 3:33 AM UTC
oft one is in
a huge quandary
as to where to put
an apostrophe
there's no room for one
to make a mistake
due to the little dash
being dipped in the wrong lake
is it it's or is it not
how oft one has forgot
how this tiny marking
does well allot
one must be
ever aware and alert
when dealing
with a tricky invert
Jan 8, 2017
Jan 8, 2017 at 9:03 PM UTC
I think about you every single day
I miss you way more than I miss being happy
Sure, we fought allot
but is that worth all my pain and suffering?
All the tears
All the anger
All the pain
Was that worth it leaving you?
I don’t know
I lost myself last year
I got caught up in my own pain
I never even realized,
What it would do to you
I sit there in class
And I look at you
Thinking, is there anything I can do?
But yet again, will we fight?
The one thing that's holding me back
Do I have the will to go back to you?
Most importantly, do you want to
This is your choice
I know I was stupid
I know I was wrong
All those letters, I lost myself in them
I wish I could fix that
Can we fix what’s broken?
Will you trust me again?
Can I believe you won’t hurt me?
I don’t know
It’s too hard to forget the unforgettable
The past is never the past to me
People told me to move on, forget about it
I told them no
You mean way too much to me
I can’t live another second without you
Give me a chance to show you, I’ve changed
Give me a second chance
I’ll do anything
I would die to have that chance again
You are my everything
If you say no, I’ll cry every night
If you say yes, things will change
I had to leave to back then, it wasn’t my choice
And I know, deep inside, you would come back
That’s just who you are
Some people tell me to stop
I will never stop
I’m nothing without you
Please forgive me, for everything
I was wrong
Nothing was right
I can’t stand avoiding my friends because of you
Forgive me, please
May 28, 2013
May 28, 2013 at 10:35 PM UTC
Dad!!!
Where can I buy a fridge freezer, I'm hearing things that can't be real.
Dads head now spinning, can't fathom why so asks the question why oh why?
Why because your mum has two and when I left one was new.
No it's not for me its for my friend, because her daddy upt and left
The first time in months she touched my heart because she showed she cared allot
So daddy asked what's it all about and his heart sank at how she cared for a friend she hardly knew as yet
Her mum works hard all the time and can't afford to get one now
She works all day on the farm and I want to get her one ok?
So what does a dad say to that when he finally sees behind his daughters mask
She has a heart and god its big, so I guess I need to find a fridge!
So asked about and favours called to find a fridge for Dherrans mum!
Off to Woolton and back again, we have one and I'm feeling great.
Four weeks later I still have one and no contact with Dherrans mum!!
Calls and texts and no reply! Oh how I've tried
So Emily tonights the night I'll leave it in your friends drive.
So off I popped and knock knock knock and eyes like saucers looking back!
I'm now sure I've got it wrong the house the number the whole shabbang
Who's this bloke and *** I'm in me onsie oh my god!
Introductions and no idea who or why he is here!
I'm Emilys dad well that fell flat, but dont I know you anyhow?
After deduction better than Sherlock Holmes he showed his badge it all came clear thank **** for that the fridge is here!!!
Fridge inside and cups of tea and laughter filled the air with glee
Talk of art and Shakespeare to a pleasant change from a Thursdays gloom
Then time to go and say goodnight, I rather liked the onsie sight!!!
So there's the tale and simple enough..
Don't underestimate a childs love
x
Mar 11, 2014
Mar 11, 2014 at 2:28 PM UTC
I wanna spend my time with you
I don't really allot my time like this
I usually just waste it
But now I know where I want it to go
I want to spend it just to see your smile
Just to hear your laugh and fake cries
To mess your nesty hair
Admire your face
Memorize every trace of it and just keep you
To go grocery shopping with you
Go restaurant hopping with you
Pay bills with you
Buy a new air conditioner when the one we have breaks
Paint the walls of our home
Contemplate on which color scheme we want
Hold your hand as we walk places
Watch timeless movies while we're wrapped up in our quilt
Dance to EDM, just the two of us
Pass out next to each other
Go out late at night just to drink coffee
Cover our favorite love songs
Read books
Watch YouTube videos
Have tricycle rides
Manage our lives
Argue about big and small things
Cry
Storm out
Crawl back into each others' arms
Knowing that its the only place where we've felt so much love
Do adult stuff, together
Carry you to bed when youve had too much too drink
Kiss your forehead while you sleep
Take care of you
Love you
Over and over
And not get tired of doing so
That's all I wanna do with whatever time I have left
Just...
Spend it all on you
Because you
Of all things
Are most definitely
The one and only thing
That matters to me.
Jun 18, 2016
Jun 18, 2016 at 7:46 AM UTC
I am given to an unfamiliar direction,
disturbed into one in need, by confession,
of sympathetic sorrow, and her fond affection.
Yet I was left to fall to ruin in a mode, a condition
of the great and hapless misery of this wan dejection,
by the one whose sweet tenderness once was unquestioned.
Her lovingness by no thoughts is considered to be any more.
She became a shadowy wretch that was long ago and once before
a primary source to my poor crying heart's deep and ever endless store.
To my heart's succor she could not allot a smidgen more,
because I lost my way by way of a muse whose virtue was pure,
and I was lying within my secret hideaway far from me, far from her.
Nov 14, 2014
Nov 14, 2014 at 11:39 AM UTC
Give every spoken word,
Oh, listener,
A work-space in your mind.
Even if it's misinterpreted
No harm is sprouted.
Allot double the space
If and when it's written.
Knowing my limits I realize,
I am not a machine!
Apr 10, 2015
Apr 10, 2015 at 3:34 AM UTC
Half asleep feet shuffle in aimlessly;
Water fills the celestial coffeepot.
Chocolate brown grounds by a spoon are allot.
A spoonful spills to the floor! This marks its tragedy.
Another, another, so painfully,
This tragedy would make any distraught.
How can sleep be torn from eyes so bloodshot
Without the black elixir so holy?
The sleepy feet walk through the garage door,
Each brooms' handle is long like cold harpoons.
It sweeps up the wasted dreams on the floor.
"I measured out my life in coffee spoons."1
The tedious toil begins once more,
And so go the morning coffee mistunes.
1 - From "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" by T.S. Eliot
Apr 28, 2021
Apr 28, 2021 at 2:46 PM UTC
Dear friends,
Hello. How are you? I'm fine, thanks.
Recently, I haven't been opening up at all,
And I'm sorry,
Some of you I trust with little things,
Some, not at all...
Well, you know who you are and where you stand.
There's allot of things i haven't been telling you
Now, I wont go in depth,
Cause there's not much time left,
But this might be my last chance to be honest.
Things have been getting worse,
Slowly with time
I don't even know who I am anymore,
I've lost control.
I had a mental breakdown about a week ago
I guess it's just too much, all of this
I can't do this anymore
Now, don't say "I'm sorry"
There's nothing to be sorry for
I couldn't let you in,
Because I shut my windows and doors
I've realized one thing,
It just wont get better,
My life slowly fell apart,
Day by day,
And here I am
Ready to just die
The lies don't make things better
But I can't tell the truth either
Who wants to know the truth anyways?
I'm sure I really don't,
Not now, not ever,
Because when someone tells the truth,
Someone else gets hurt
Don't ask what happened,
Because there's no answer,
No real explanation
Its my fault...
It always has been
Goodbye friends
sincerely, Apathy, aka Holdingon, aka em1640, aka Emily
Jan 25, 2015
Jan 25, 2015 at 8:31 PM UTC
They asked if I wanted to go North,
I asked if there was any place further
South,
They shook their heads side to side,
I said I needed time, was there absolutely
any place else,
They shook their heads side to side,
I asked if there was still room for me here
with my wife and children so near,
They shook their heads side to side,
"besides" said one, "they are not going
anywhere that you cannot come back,
to the gravesides"
I looked them in the eye
They shook their heads side to side
I went for a break found myself in front
of a newscast, somewhere in the world
there was one two three terrible clashes,
somewhere on the west coast of some
distant promised landing, a bottling giant was
guzzling profits while emptying Mother
Earth, her name is Aquafir,
if that was not enough some part of the
under under cover part of a government
arm admitted that Area 51 exists but it
is more like a farm, something stinks and
there is allot of ********
I went back and looked them in the eye
and asked how long I'd be away and they
said, "until you die"
I can come back to visit.
They nodded up and down
"once a year" they said and each one had
a frown.
I changed my heart to get away from this
insane place we know, has become, I will find my
peace far from this madding crowd,
as long as they don't find me if they come
looking from, the top of the world, down.
If they do
I will shake my head
side to side, instead
of choosing who is right,
so leave me to find my peace
my mind, until I see my loves
once more.
Aug 17, 2013
Aug 17, 2013 at 1:06 AM UTC