We lost a young soul today
The sun screamed for his lost lover 
And the sky cried out for our fallen soldier
Not knowing every tear they let drop
Pushed our young god down farther

~

He got too close to the sun,
He was so intoxicated,
He was blinded.
He got so close to the flames,
That he couldn't see he was on fire.

~

He fell into love,
Then he fell out of it.
It was toxic,
And the hate made him sick.
He was disappointed,
He had let himself down.
So after he fell,
He let himself drown.

Sadness lingers over my head,
my whole being grieves
for the loss that I've not yet witnessed.
An ache claims my blood and bones
and I am reminded
again of how fragile I really am.

Her being radiates faith,
and behind her eyes lay confidence.
Sometimes I envy her belief,
I resent that she has a home to go,
while I stand to freeze alone.
I'll praise her strength,
for it's something I'll never have.  
Maybe sometimes I wish I could believe,
but I am the way I am, like a blind man,
I can't suddenly decide to see.

The knot in my stomach
is far too easy to tie,
I don’t know if it’s because
I’ve grown overly-sensitive,
Or if I’ve become so harshly
allergic to my feelings,
But anything is enough
to bring me to my knees,
A string of words laced
in specific pattern,
Or a series of music notes
arranged just so,
They bring back my past,
Loss, and abuse
grief, and anger,
They bring back
words meant to
knock me down,
And hits meant to ****.
Every time it’s the same,
The same ache coursing
through my veins,
The same jerky
shake of my hands,
The same way I recoil
from my own body in disgust.

Walking the streets from
midnight to early morning,
is not unlike walking through
a graveyard at dusk.
You can see the ghosts of peoples day.
You can hear the echo of their voices.
You can feel their presence.
While stalking the streets
you pass under the fog
clouding around hazy street lamps,
look into dark windows,
and you’re as good as alone.
Breath leaves your mouth,
swimming around you like
the smoke of a cigarette.
The faintest glimmer of life
echos the streets you wander.
The silence screams louder
than your own thoughts.
You wonder what it would be like to die,
would you stay a ghost on these streets?

How easy would it be to delete
all of your accounts?
Just pushing a button.
Just leaving,
just gone.
Leaving all your friends,
like there was never any bond.
Pretending you didn’t share your darkest
parts with strangers.
Acting like you never stayed up
to write your saddest words.
But what about the good?
Would you leave behind your lover
just because you could?
Are we just a piece of your past
that you’d like to forget?
Just a bad memory,
like a failed school test.
So just delete your history,
forget we ever happened.
Close the best and worst of your life,
and we’ll know it’s really the end.
Just abandon all your family,
leave us alone to fight your war.
I like to think it’ll be pretty hard,
but I’ve been wrong before.

I think that
there's a version
of me that you love,
the version
that sleeps soundly at night,
that never doubts,
you love this perfect person,
an idea.
you love the version
of me, that doesn't exist,
and I don't
know how to tell you.