I picked this up as you came to mind
on any other day this would have been a lucky find
"Does it fit?" "Is it too grand a gesture?"
I stand still as doubt starts to fester
Commitment at our age? at this point of our story?
Or is it not soon enough? should I engage and not feel sorry?
The ring is a circle that loops in my hand
From brown, blue then purple I hold on to understand
Would they laugh? Would I care? Would you even be there?
Should I ask? Would you stare, feeling scared while i was unaware?

It haunts me to know my heart went this far
It wants me  to show the start, till we do part
I don't know the future, yet I know you
Maybe we're both crazy, you feel it this strong too?
Am I overreacting? Is this just another plan
To finally see if I get you in my hands?

Regardless, I'll do it, we've made it thus far
And even though we may be stuck wherever we are
I'll look forward to putting it on, preparation for what could be
Perhaps it's destiny, leading you to me
May the future be as bloodied and grim as it wants
I just want you to be happy and grim and grin, please give me this chance
I promise to give my all, through hell and even heaven
A promise to stay true, even if the years take seven

Regardless of how far we are

our love for each other will always be on par

although we never met face to face

when it comes to you my heart will always be up for the chase

how lucky i was to ever meet you

I fell in love,caught it like the common flu

your blue eyes made me feel astonished

knowing all the bad has been demolished

hugging my pillow thinking of you all the time

loving you so much it should be a crime

so until then i know we shall meet

cause for your love id never admit defeat



me and you both laying in a park

right near the brown tree bark

the place being dimly lit by stars

there for hours, staring at the sky afar

both our hands together in harmony

the next best thing to a romantic oddysey

and for awhile time seems to freeze

all you feel is a divine breeze

slowly our lips come closer and closer

hearts beating like a wild rollercoaster

we finally kiss and time is back

so caught up that we lost track

we end the night on a high note

as we leave the park and i give you my coat.

Writing this comes as no surprise, when a threat of a goodbye
Is what one would despise, yet is greatly needed.
To have held on a handful of years
Through the laughter and the tears
And have glimpses of you in my eyes

To Know you'll never read my letters
That I'll never know if your worse or better
That you'll never hear my resolutions
that my ears never hear your voice again

That I'll never laugh at a dull joke again
That every girl I meet will never even be a friend
Hoping my naïve loyalty will make you send me a message
To give me passage again into your life


It wasn't fair expecting a rainbow when I gave you a thunderstorm
And for you to expect gold when you sent me to an oil rig
I'll never know if you'll ever go to prom
Or were the feelings we felt ever that big


Will I ever get to tell you happy birthday?
Will we ever get to hug? Can I even get a handshake
Or did I make the mistake
In all the hopeless promises I used to say ?


That i'll go to special events, and buy charms you'll never wear
That I'll tear up and hold my face, and those around me wouldn't care
That a dreamcatcher used to connect us, like the very dreams I had for us
That you taught me how to cuss, and hold back and not make a fuss


I miss the way we used to laugh, at the mundane and obvious
And how you always made light of my snobbishness
How you made me a better man, both mentally and physically
And how I promised us tickets to Seoul with concerts and sights galore

So this is it, no millionth chance, the final curtain closes
And what a sadder way to end it, where both of us exposes
The fatal flaw in one another, and our hope to achieve love
While you go back to your knowledge, and I beg the one above

Tryna play pirates in the backyard, ah
bluey playing market with a credit card ah
Rusty throws sticks just to hurt you ah
Honey wears glasses just to tease you ah
None of these hounds on a lease too, ah
Turn a school year into a week too, yeah
Main doggo out of your field yea
Side dog outta yo field too, yea

Kennel so loud need some discipline
Twenty biscuits on me, made with cinnamon
Cut that bone meal into meaty pieces
Honey licks her face, man I love my doggo
You talk buckaroos need a saving space
We're playing shadow running to the shade
Switch up the game, driving in a plane
I switch My cuppy, I don't feel the pain

baa ba baa ba baa ba baa ba ba
Look what you've done!
baa ba baa ba baa ba baa ba ba
Look what you've done!
I'm the motherwoofing Stardawg

Everyday a doggo tryna test me, yah
Everyday a parent tryna end me,yah
Pull off the scooter in a school zone ah
Pocket over weight, stones  heavy, yeah
Coming from the shepherd, thats a far cry
I come alive during play time
No competition I don't really listen
and just like bluey, bumping keepy uppy

Kennel so loud need some discipline
Twenty biscuits on me, made with cinnamon
Cut that bone meal into meaty pieces
Honey licks her face, man I love my doggo
You talk buckaroos need a saving space
We're playing shadow running to the shade
Switch up the game, driving in a plane
I switch My cuppy, I don't feel the pain

baa ba baa ba baa ba baa ba ba
Look what you done!
baa ba baa ba baa ba baa ba ba
Look what you done!
I'm the motherwoofing Stardawg


Let a dog play tablet
Legend of the winter, on the grind like bandit
Bought Bingo a crib and a brand new wagon
Chilli hit the grocery store looking lavish
Star trip ceiling in that house plan
Sheep get loose when the hear this song
Hundred stones on my sheep get me close to DOG
Don't pray for love we pray for candy bars

Kennel so loud need some discipline
Twenty biscuits on me, made with cinnamon
Cut that bone meal into meaty pieces
Honey licks her face, man I love my doggo
You talk buckaroos need a saving space
We're playing shadow running to the shade
Switch up the game, driving in a plane
I switch My cuppy, I don't feel the pain

baa ba baa ba baa ba baa ba ba
Look what you done!
baa ba baa ba baa ba baa ba ba
Look what you done!
I'm the motherwoofing Stardawg

baa ba baa ba baa ba baa ba ba
Look what you done!
baa ba baa ba baa ba baa ba ba
Look what you done!
I'm the motherwoofing Stardawg

Time passes as my name must be a long gone Memory
Stars die out, as you must tire from my apology
A singular, repetitive one, in a hope you say Hello one day
That we meet again, you look my way, and for one time to say
"I love you."

Constantly seen messages, Constant messenger pigeons
They console me, gently chide, tell me to let be
Yet every time it blurs my vision
That the prospect to becoming a lover and father one day
is tearing me apart

To use my youth denies accountability, blame others ruins my integrity, To say my mouth had enough, disregards the truth
My words followed the dark path my heart made, My youth turned adult
Can time, that heals wounds, still turn me into captivity
Where my own bedroom feels like a peaceful prison?


Can it be so easy to hate everyone, and wish they'd die?
Even the ones I love who I wish expire and live in the sky?
That my begging, tearful nature, is a crutch, and turns my fleeting independence
To a childish dependence
On others to send you messages I wish I could do myself

I believe God will bring her back, and bring me peace
But do I deserve such a charitable Deed?
I pray, cry and hope indeed
That his divined intervention intercedes

That a measly 7 months of silence
Can never compare to an eternity where death doesnt guarantee our souls meet
Tested by my patience
Willing to lose the sheep and honey bees of this world
For the bunny I sold away in anger

they say love is what we need
just to keep us up to speed
yet its something that leaves so fast
how does anyone make it last

look at the past,hoping it was like that
nowadays we just go and crawl onto a mat
saying you don't know how your "forever" is gone
so surprised it didn't last that long
no use in believing that love is fair
it leaves your heart racing like a hare
and when it ends,you have no power
it leaves you bitter,oh so sour
best to just stay away
you don't wanna be hurt in another way

How ironic to not seek the tools yet drool on them
To see the instruments and break down like a phlegm
How naïve of us to use the gym as an excuse
To prolong it, as if it were drug use

Some call it dopamine others call it clarity
Most see an opening to showcase their barbarity
Called less of a man to those "better off"
Called less of a woman to those showing pictures with their sweater off
Lust driving companies to show children compromised
We see these plaything while revenue boosts the enterprise
Anime, video games, novels and Tv
Nothing seems too extreme for these mediums
Beheading, shredding, **** and made "Dream-like"
Topics have been explored beyond their tedium

**** is accessible and Ai makes your dream man
Merge yourself with your idol beyond the imagination of a regular Stan
Be praised for wearing Japanese ******* and condoning said behavior
Treat somebodies feet pics like your very own savior


The beast wins not with wit, but with a pattern
To catch us in the act frozen still like Saturn
Internet connections show us the milky way
And your hands remain adamant, your mind filthy

The beasts doesn't care of November, nor valentines or about your crush
It waits to clamp you, and turn you into dust
Too ashamed to seek humanity, too far gone to find morality
Repeated until insanity, Your mouth blurting profanities

And yet we blame the beast when our relationships end or we cant break a ***** habit
Then try to pray to catch up to the Sabbath
Why Lie to the beast and to ourselves?
To those who use their hands or run to cheap hotels
Is ******* more worthwhile than redemption?

The beast is with me as I type this, judging my every move
It laughs, uses slurs and denying my attempts to improve
It lives in you, no matter how content you are with your sexuality
And does its all to destroy your Mentality

here i am sitting down thinking of the past
trying so hard to hold on, make the memory last
just looking around, trying to repeat "it's cool"
but i know that i'm just fortune's fool
looking around people look all the same
wondering what is the world, it's all a shame
the world has gone dark since when I was young
so many words unsaid, like songs unsung
i wish it could be like it was back then
now it seems the world is full of evil men
just listen to music, make yourself confined
I mean look around you, there's nothing to find
our eyes forgot what it's like to cry
make the heart stiff,of how hard we try
our body often compared to a temple
all the words to make us feel mental
here i am standing in the rain
its the only thing making me sane
done waiting for things to be great
because i'm already tired of my fate
ever get sick and tired, of being sick and tired?
your body and routine like a robot, always wired
think of all the people that you met
how each had there own way to make you upset
just here to wait for the bitter end
rather don't speak, you don't want to offend
like a ****** waiting for her next customer to have "fun"
ashamed, so use to the feeling she  waits patiently for it to be done
so welcome to our world where no one gives a ....
if your trying to enjoy it then i wish you the best of luck

I wake up, unbothered by the previous night(mares)
Struggling to get out of bed, its another fight (unfair)
I think of you, then remember our separation
My smile wipes of my face with no indication.

Brush my teeth, too afraid to stare at the mirror
Every time I see a glimpse of you in it, I start to quiver
place my hands on the sink to pray
stopping the pain from returning, telling it to go away

Eating breakfast, Pizza and milk
terrible eating habits, enough pent up rage to sow silk
a string spanning longer than our feelings for each other
For when we couldn't admit we couldn't tolerate one another

Leave the premises, cracking a smile
forgetting our genesis, regardless has it been a while
Angered by simplicity, yet welcome to it
Fine with lowered expectations, yet nevermore
placing ones guard higher than ever before

for this is the new normal: Bitter, hurt and none the wiser
even as I type this, I miss her and despise her
would it work? was it worth it?
Is it fate to have one curse it?

it doesn't matter, I catch my bus, unbothered
as under my breath I cuss, smothered(by regret)
my anger grows into numbness(emptiness I beget)
I reach my stop and hop off
earphones subside the voices, but their song is almost as sweet as yours was
I wish I was hit by that very same bus
so the memories can leave me like you did
but alas

this is the new normal, **** it up and carry on

Spider society needs their own locus
While others break of, I'm keeping my focus
Let me breathe, can't you see I'm what this universe needs?
Millions at risk, due to inaccuracy
I'm never Icarus, only report I'm accepting is one I succeed in

They ask if I'm good, life's not black and white
The justice I'm seeking seems bleak in the light
Priority, I cannot stoop to being petty
Won't take no from no miles, no Pieter, no Gwen and no Penni
My law is final, the canon's at stake
I have to be brutal, taking out the fakes

"I thought we're the good guys" we are, we... Are?
Just look at the good we've done, the lengths, how far
I respect every person in this room, the doom and the gloom
I'm no vigilante, don't wait for the moon
When I see anomalies I just go and Boom

Maybe we can... But think of the Spider-verse
Can't think of her now, they're not in this universe
That kid was on to something, I can't crack
That life I used to lead, I just can't go back
Maybe we're not heroes, maybe we're not evil
we're just in the middle, anomalies to unveil
the job we do, seem to never get hailed
But if I fail this, then it's her that I've failed

I sit exhausted every night
Not a single off day in my sights
Working as I wake up, and until I dose off
So busy, my dehydration is discovered by a dry cough

To busy to eat, yet too hungry to carry on
Taking even a little break causes progress to be gone
Disappeared are the days of weekends being a reprieve
As I wipe the tears and carry on by rolling up my sleeves

Some call it growing up, others call it existing
Here I am throwing up, unware of how exhausting
this all truly is
The human body was made for pressure, yet I cannot reassure
If I am tired out of hard work, or hardly getting things to work

The weapons must have succeeded, the attacks seem to have landed
Stuck in this workflow I feel stranded, and yet life has still demanded
I wake up and smile, and sleep with the same expression
Is this depression, a lesson, or a trial for heaven?

Sitting down is wasting time, and working with no success is just as worse
Is this a challenge set before me, or some invisible curse
Time and time again, clocking in and clocking out
I sit still, letting it boil, as all I want to do is shout

This question makes me contemplate
Could we have sooner, or were we too late?
Was it destined, Foretold? Did we know all along?
Just Ecstasy? Easy Gold? Is this where we belong?
I thought long and hard

Did you remind me of better days? No, actually
Making me move forward, towards the light of vitality
For every pained memory I felt from then till now
You helped release me from them, to you I offer a tearful bow

Was it a savior complex? For a while I'll admit
I was still uneasy, rarely wanting to persist
Perhaps letting my guard down is what made me realize
Just how many tragic memories you kept behind your eyes
Was that what made us so compatible?

Perhaps its cause this is the first time I feel confidence
To blindly walk into you without prejudice
Openly assuming you feel this way too
And just how easy it was to say "I Love you"

Was it ******* attraction? To me physically wanting this?
Or how your voice calmed me down in it's sugar-coated bliss
Your hazel eyes, your voluptuous hips
Your child-like laugh, your unexpectedly talented quips
With every second I think of this, my attraction truly grows
Perhaps it was Faith, but I truly love you and our odds
And deep down I know you were sent by god

The title speaks it all so clearly, unlike I who slurs my words
To write down what a handful will see, but phrases never to be heard
From obligations to congratulations, it all starts to feel the same
How petty it is I blame everything, how I must feel ashamed

Things I said to prove a point
messages left on read I wish I never sent
The cold is blistering, so are my fingers
Tell me how you can forget yet for me it still lingers

People go on with their lives, wishing for the summer
While I sit hear wishing I didn't think everything was a ******
Its so easy to appreciate the little things in life
But so hard when you feel teardrops turning into ice

Everyone says to seek help, that it gets better as you grow
yet almost a decade later I have nothing to show
Spreading positivity, have no certainty
Of the people coming and going, who matters and who closes the curtain

Future careers, games, girls, what I fear
Further encapsulating that I barely feel like I am here
Stuck between adulthood and being a child
Stuck between a mild nature and a wild imagination

Stuck between what games to play, what role to play
Which school to pay and which job pays better
Payment is engraved in my mindset, my parents make sure of it
Little do they know I hate adult life and I am sick of it

Crushes like a giddy child, in this darned freezing weather
Is it sad I feel better alone, or I feel alone and barely any better?
How ironic my words contradict each other
but thats what we were to one each other

Am I just ranting over you, this existence, or the future?
Is this in general or has my heart finally ruptured?
This barely makes sense, and neither does this life
Play, work, pay then get a wife? Is this why samurai always held a short knife?

Thought I never openly brag on it
I never found it something to dwell on
You made a gift so emotional that it could never be bought
So inspirational it must be felt and not taught
Then life happened, and so did you
Changing to somebody I could barely view
You spent your days at parties and bashes, long forgetting your truest friends
You left our messages on red and blue, and even when I waited for you
You never rung back

You greatly post about your life, as if you beg for the attention
And looking back and taking some introspection
I realize we were the sun and the moon
Always to be apart, always to have a pull and push
Always to end things early, always to say goodbye too soon
Never ready and never to see the use

I'd ping you motivation and say your eyes spark into the souls of millions
You'd see this message and reply later as if my response is vermillion
You'd say I ignore you for having nothing to work with
And yet I adored you even when you thought I wouldn't persist
Months on end a single ping from you is all I wanted
and seconds on end my response time made you astonished

Many call you out to your way of delaying friendships, to keep them on hold and return when you are in pieces
To have us piece you back together because you learnt this world is vicious
You even told me you find my concern for you so alarming, how anybody so genuine could love "****" like you
And even now I second guess before I throw blame and hit skew

You called guys manipulative and even called my lack of time a game
Yet always cried and pleaded when we called you out for the same
So determined to keep a guy on the line while lusting for another
You find it naïve of me to not act like your brother
It's saddening to think we may never find comfort in speaking again
And where I wished you at every occasion, you never wished me a happy birthday
You never told me happy Birthday