I worry that
I may be
An electron.

The negative charges
Are building beneath
The shield that I choose
To call my ribcage,
Painting my lungs blue
And weighing it
With my mistakes.

I cannot exist alone,
All too willing
To give myself away
To anything that somehow
Makes me feel whole.

I’m sorry
I couldn’t tell you sooner,
But these problems
Can’t be solved
With science.

It’s not that I’m sad, per se,
It’s that I’m not anything at all
I cannot feel happiness.
I can experience it but I know
That it will not last forever.
That is the case with all things.
Life is temporary and beautiful,
Life given and taken away
In the same breath.
In some strange way
I’ve known what happy feels like
I’ve just been wishing I knew
How to feel it now.