Cò̝̰m̱̲i̦̮͠n̻̼̮͈̰g̶̤̞̖̝͓͇ d̪o͎̣̞̟̜̲wn̷͖͕̠̭̟͉̣, after
your teenage years
you think you're gonna die young,
Well here I am, s̩͉͓̟̟͓̗i̶̮͉̜̯t͔t̥͉̹ͅͅi̦̮͠n̻̼̮͈̰g̶̤̞̖̝͓͇ h̷̬̗̥̩̝̫e̘̩̩͚͇̙͘r͓͖ͅe̵̞̳, w̦r̖̝͖͍̣i͙̹̳͖̤͓̘t͖̲̠̲͙i̥͍̠̪͞n̻̞̕g̴͈̺̯̞͚̭̼
t̮̬̲̫ḫ̻͓͕̱͕ͅi͈͠n̫̗̗̗̲g­̲̝͕̪̪̰s̩͉͓̟̟͓̗ that don't make any sense.
T̹̜̥̠͍h̷̬̗̥̩̝̫e̘̩̩͚͇̙͘r͓͖ͅe̵̞̳ ̙̱͡i͍̥͍̱̭̟s̵ ̸͕̩ n͍̟͉̜ò̝̰t̮̬̲̫ḫ̻͓͕̱͕ͅi͈͠n̫̗̗̗̲g̲̝͕̪̪̰, n͍̟͉̜ò̝̰ o̤̠̼͙͎̺n̷͖͕̠̭̟͉̣e̢͉̻̯̦͖̟ i̖̻s͝ cò̝̰m̱̲i̦̮͠n̻̼̮͈̰g̶̤̞̖̝͓͇.

there were words I couldn't speak,

words I couldn't see,

feelings I couldn't find,

feelings I couldn't hide.

The day you said you loved me,
the day you walked away,
the day you said I'd come to find
no one else could make me feel this way.

I believed every word you said.
I believed you now and I believed you then.
The difference between us, is you still left.

I stayed, for two years
and when you finally said you loved me
I saw all my dreams becoming true.

Then I saw her. She just showed up.
The only person besides me you kept in your life.
So for months I let the torment work its way through my body
until I was simply rotting.

Every time I tried to explain the hurt that bounced around inside
all I managed to do was start a fight.
But I loved you, and I love you,
and I tried my very best,
until one day my insides tore, and I was now an external mess.
As my insides poured out into all the wrong places,
I felt the burning sting of pain beneath my sleeve.
The wounds reopened, as I was closing.
My arms were cut to bleed.

I love you.

You made mistakes, I did too.

But then I understood you were lying.

For years it grew, and I never knew.

But the reason I’m angry is not the lie.

You don’t think worth the truth.

That hurts more

than your knife in my back.

I loved you.

versailles has been waiting for your return
this time you will be reborn
out of bitter tears and infant screams
you have been baptised
and now the light of apollo will be in your eyes

the squinting girl will return
but now you are a lion-heart boy
and the twelve years that have passed for them
is twelve hundred for you!
versailles has been waiting
and you will go back

Mom and Pops, thank you for coming together
Mom, especially for pushing through, you weathered
The trimesters, pain, and uncertainty
Pops did not pass out, he tried earnestly

Here I am today to thank You for grace
Your example is to what I strive for and chase
While I attempt to follow heavenly steps, not quite perfectly
I will continue cherish the life given to me, eternally

I don't need to purchase a calendar annually
To know that you're my favorite day every day of the year
Twenty four hours, three hundred and sixty five days
Is not enough my dear
Music I will always hear
No instruments needed
All these musings might make you conceited
It'd be well deserved
Your voice is a language I don't have to learn, but i want to
And your doubt is what i yearn
To dismantle
I'll be  gentle
When your soul is mine to help handle
Forget all the other distractions
I want to solve all your fractions
Fix all the contraptions
Woven into you
Thirteen star signs and you shine brighter than every one of them combined.

by Arcassin Burnham



I don't understand why a guy like me is rejected by you for a guy that thinks
hes like some sort of big shot while having friends and drive a car while I
have nothing at all...
I don't understand why girls don't like me , I'm the type of guy that'll marry
you from fields to scenery,
But you just want a cool edgy dude with an attitude and makes you miserable,
and doesn't really care for your feelings,

i'll give you the joy and the rain at the same time sending signals of everything
that your ex wasn't and you thought he was going to be your husband,
so blinded by the truth of someone that would be sensitive to your
every need,
i was always there , since high school and when we had little feet,
why lord?
why won't any girl love me,
i am just a pawn in the love game while having fantasies
of intimacy?
lord please tell me..
will i grow old and alone in a house and just wait for my death
to hurry up and find me?
and the long distance stuff is just boring...
would i look back on the times that i did that
and it could be reassuring?
and my exes ignore me...
i didn't really see a future with them anyways so it really
shouldn't bother me..
and that's why,
I don't understand why a guy like me is rejected by you for a guy that thinks
hes like some sort of big shot while having friends and drive a car while I
have nothing at all...
I don't understand why girls don't like me , I'm the type of guy that'll marry
you from fields to scenery,
But you just want a cool edgy dude with an attitude and makes you miserable,
and doesn't really care for your feelings.

This time of year, I often hear of new beginnings
A slate wiped clean, a "do over"
All mistakes forgiven and all debts pardoned
But no wrong is right without effort
Effort is futile without a plan
And a plan is not justified without practice
This time of the year I reflect on my preparation
This time of year I reflect on my presentation
This time of the year I don't wipe my slate clean
I look for the catalyst of the mess I've made
Because this isn't a new beginning
It's a continued effort, to one day, get it right

A moment of weakness,
Quickly followed by a moment of clarity.
It's true once you did.
But now
You mean nothing to me.