When they see a Monster

I see a Demon,


When I see a Demon

You see an Angel


When they tell me I'm worthless

I tell myself I am nothing,


When I tell myself I am nothing

You tell me I'm everything
and that I'm worth it.
<3

I try so hard
For people that don’t care
I try so hard
For people that aren’t there
I try to make them love me
But they just never will
I try to make them want me
But they just never will

I’m creatively uninspired
and I’m socially deprived
I barely exist beyond my thoughts
and if I don’t exist within society
It is as if I’m already dead

I’ve had this problem
since I was twelve
I never thought
that much of myself
you may not understand
a thing such as this
but life’s hard for a boy
when he thinks he’s got ****

he don’t sleep well at night
he dreads going to school
he stays out of the heat
and stays out of the pool
and it’s hard to find love
when he’s full of self-hate
and he can’t even tell
when he’s lost all that weight

when years later, he’s healthy
his memory sees
when he looks in the mirror
how he used to be
still he counts out the portions
he’s wasting away
though he’s 80 pounds lighter,
he still feels the same

I went down from 240
to 158
but i’m still that fat kid
that’s filled with self-hate
but I deal with it different
than I used to do
now i’m building lean muscle
at 172

I still have the same problem
I’m sick of this ****
when I look in the mirror
I’m still seeing ****
but I guess there’s not really
that much I can do
‘cos that kind of self-image
attaches to you