There are indecorous mistakes
found in this world,
in this life,
that cannot, despite
all efforts of frantic,
pure, desperation:
be erased
in the slightest.

d.b.

Hell
I thought my feelings were gone,
But I guess I was wrong.

Freezing when you walk by,
Wishing you were by my side,
Looking away when I know you're there,
Because there's nothing anymore and of
that I'm aware.

But lately I can't get you out of my mind.
Everywhere I go, You're in my sight.
Can't you see it's destroying me?

I’m lost in my own house
Memories are painted everywhere
They remind me like painful scabs
That my house was once a home.

I’m lost in my house
Because it feels like you are
Around every corner
But I can’t find you anywhere.

Your absence is everywhere.
It has left wells
Invisible inside each room.
Cold, dry, and hollow, they echo you.

They make me swear
That I can hear you
(your pitter-patter,
or your snoring,
or  your breathing)

They make me swear
That I can still see you
(laid down to nap
on the couch,
or on our bed)

They make me swear
That I can still feel you
(lumped beside my feet,
sprawled on top,
of the covers of our sheets)

The only thing real
The only thing left
Is your scent
That still clings to the blankets

Even with all these empty wells
In all of these empty rooms
I have only one hopeless wish.
Just one little wish.

To find you in our house
To make your way back home.

I write to share humanity
And the only thing humanity shares
Unanimously, is love.

Caged within cellophane mirages,
              swimming on promises that suffocate.

With every footstep...

                     If only I had two more steps...  

Reality suffocates slowly...

You see I wish beyond wishes
to remain human with you
we'll change and grow
and age and slow
but in the end
we'll prove
we're just
human.

Last night I stayed up counting every time that I've wished for you.
Then I came to my senses that there wasn't a need to wish anymore.
Then I came to the realization that I inhale you with each thought.
That I've come to trust the hours I spend talking to you about any and everything.
Finding your smile in perfect company.
Allowing myself to be the circumstance that makes your cheeks rise the most.
In vivid imagination. Seeing you before I close my eyes.
Truth is last night I stayed up making countless wishes to reassure that what I wished for the most stayed in the countless hours that we spend talking to each other.
The adventures we take traveling through each other's mind.
Finding it much easier to breathe with each mile we hike.
Even if I have to hold my breath until my face turns blue.
Thank you for giving me the breath of you, I appreciate each and every moment that you do.
And I promise not to exhale until the next breath is presented

I suppose my words
Might mature with me
But they might stay young
As many of us so badly wish to.