My eyes
dilated
.

Hello everyone,

  I'm so very sorry … I feel horrible doing this, but I have no choice. You see, I have published my first book on Amazon/Kindle! This piece (and many others) had to be taken down because they do not allow published material to be available online for free. (Go figure) I wanted to leave the shell of the posts because I felt compelled to leave all your helpful and loving comments. (Silly sentimental, I know), but I also didn't want to just have the pieces disappear without an explanation. I feel bad enough as it is!

  I owe ALL of you so, SO much for all of your reads, love, and support. It was YOU that gave me the gumption to FINALLY get off my **** and publish! Thank you all for the warm comments, camaraderie, and encouragement! I will still be here, reading, uploading and just being the Rascal that I am. How could I EVER leave you guys?

  The book is called “The Way I See It – FictionPhilosophySoul Food” and it will be FREE for the first few days on Kindle Select, so watch for it, if you are interested. I hope that you go and grab it. If you do, I would also hope that you find it worthy, you would leave me a good review. That will help me get in the public eye! Soon afterward (2-3 days or so), it will be available in paperback.

Find the book(s) here: www.amazon.com/author/jeff.gaines

Or find the book(s), and all about me, here: www.JeffGaines.world

  Soon after, I also hope to have my first novel (a supernatural thriller), called “Wanderer” available as well!

  Wish me luck!

                                Big, Biggest Love,

                                               Jeff Gaines

Eyes that are open but collect no vison,
                     seeing only a narrow view.
With ears that hear all,
           but only listen to false verses,
that whisper nothing but whispers.
We all walk paths,
                     but some are but the same.
A repetition of where we walked before
                       as we follow ignorant steps.
A mind is free when not tethered by the
insecurities of others neglect to walk another path..

i always feel out of place, at 19 i still haven't found the place where i belong. i'm stuck in a small country with not much to do. i feel like i'm drowning; the world is happening around me yet i feel frozen. what's my purpose for living? what is my talent? i want to change the world. i want to be remembered for my good.

how do i find my purpose when i'm stuck in a country with no way out? how do i find my talent when my anxiety makes it difficult to try everything? how do i do anything when my depression makes me not want to leave my bed? what's my purpose? when will i become unfrozen? when will i find my place?    


                                       maybe tomorrow?
                                             next week?              
                                      next month?
                                               in a year or few
                                       or maybe never.

Sometimes I enjoy life more
When my view is hindered by tears
The edges of images blur
Like mascara, how the world smears.

I like it better out of focus;
My vision, my goals, my dreams
When it's blurry it's easier to pretend
The pain in my heart isn't as bad as it seems.

Like seeing the ghosts of the people I loved
I scan through crowds and avoid their faces
Faces as magnets attract my eyes
My vision is blurry, it's time to go
I stumble through hallways
My head hangs low,
Avoiding those faces as magnets.

The girl with the piercings
The guy with tattoos
That person whose hair is a dark grayish blue

Those people have faces as magnets.