i knew it was wrong yet i threw myself at you i knew what it was yet i still fell to my knees at your command because i needed to feel something, something other than the worthlessness that built up in my soul something other than the depression that lives within me i needed to feel something new yet everything i felt was eerily familiar .
it’s the worst kind of pain, they say i cling to my 3rd bottle of ***** look at me, at just 18 my muffled cries my screams into my pillow sleepless nights, drunken nights the darkness of my room is now my solitude no-one told me it’d hurt this bad it’s been two years since my first drunken night two years later I’m on my millionth drunken night with my ***** and tears
you told me i was everything yet you treated me like i was nothing how convenient for you to compliment me only when you needed me to get into my pants and satisfy your own hunger but how to ****** of me to let you in repeatedly
i think she mistook the hurt in my eyes for jealousy,
i think she confused my heartbreak with hatred. i can't hate her. i never will
i think she thinks i'm bitter he chose her but that's not it. that will never be it. it's about losing the one i fell inlove with it's about all the memories that faded from his memory it's about me and my heart.
i'm hurt. i'm broken. i don't know how to heal. i don't know how to cope. i know i can do all these things but i just don't know how.
i'm trying to pick the pieces up. my heart is on the floor - shattered and unrepairable for the time being. i can't fathom how i'll make it through this one but, i know i will.
i know the fighter inside. i know what she's capable of doing. i know what she can handle. i'm just not sure if she can handle it yet.
you bragged and boasted about us and the *** we had every time i walked by your friends, your silly friends would point and stare with my eyes glued to the gravel under my feet, i kept moving silly boys, disgusting boys because little did they know your *** story was my **** story.