I can taste the unfaithfulness on your lips.
Your sensuous nibbles do naught but solidify my fears.

You’re a liar and a heartbreaker
But right now, you’re all I have

Shhhh

Yes I probably should just keep my mouth shut
about this
about you
about *us
About that hell breach of trust;

About the evil you probably should've not done
to me
and to her
and I heard, to another
To each one of us, the "one you love" eh?

I wonder into how many
broken. little. pieces.
your childish empty heart split
That you could lend each one of us
one part of it

Shhhh

Yes I probably should just keep my mouth shut
but I've had enough
I am tired
of catching nosy stares
and of being the kind little martyr

The respect,
the hope, that small trust
that was left
All gone
All drowned into disgust

It ain't a bitter feeling
not even bittersweet
darling, say
it's just a one deep sigh
after one tiresome and foolish afternoon play

But
Shhhh
don't worry kid
Though I realize all this time I have done so,
I'd still be keeping my mouth shut

About you
About us
About that ****, breach of trust
Yes I'm keeping my mouth shut
but I'm letting this verse do all the blab

It's gospel isn't it? Your quiet complacency
Out sick in the bathroom but still you seem to laugh at me
Your imperial intent and millennial mind
Only seem to distance you from being anywhere close to 'fine'

You sold out your soul to a bipolar lover you
Swore off your friends and told yourself you'd never need another
You broke my heart there in your damp summer clothes
You said it wasn't personal but i know that I know that I know that

I'm not supposed to suppose anymore
That you might feel better if you just shut that door
You can give him your world but you can't keep me in yours  
So I won't come around if you knock on my door anymore

The summer you met were the coldest months I've known
Ice in your eyes winters breath filled your home
The mess that we made still hangs round my head
Thorny black crown of the words I never said

But now here we sit in a 4x4 bathroom stall
Tell me it's fine that morning will fix it all
Tears in your eyes your hands in your lap
But it won't get better if you keep running back

But I'm not supposed to suppose anymore
So you'll keep on going back to his door
You can give him your world but you can't keep me in yours
So I won't answer when you come to my door

I literally felt the pain rushing through
my body while reading your email
I'm so sorry to read
what you must have felt
that day and that moment
I can't say that
*I know how you must have felt
because I never had this happen to me,
but I sort of know how it feels since
I've been cheated on plenty of times
But getting an email like this  
Nope this hasn't ever happen to me
I know you assume
it was due to you lacking
in so many area's
Truth be told
I've not a reason
why things happen as they have
nor can I
explain why I took
away from you
what would of been your fairy tale romance
I don't know you and never planned to
I didn't even really know him
or that he was playing this silly game
I hope you will be able to forgive me
pray too you'll find a new love
and a new happy ending for yourself
because you deserve it
As I've stated I-I don't know you
and never planned to
I didn't even really know him
or  I'd of know you were
*His wife
Copyright ©
Ayeshah K.C.L.N
1977-Present  
All right reserved

Why do you love the one you do?
Arrogant as he lives
Intriguing minds have not a clue.
He cheats, he lies and receives your endless forgives

Security he cannot propose
Financially, spiritually, emotional or otherwise.
Love unfaithfully he bestows
Disguised as Christian he justifies.

Smothered in the cocoon of his limited sphere,
Hinders flight for the beautiful butterfly,
Egotistically the coward oozes insincere.
Sadly pondering, inquiring minds ask Why?

Only we'll ever know our story,
The full story,
Just you and I.

And only you and them,
Will ever know your full stories,
You and all God-knows-how-many-of- them.

But now it seems all our stories share pages,
Intertwining and overlapping,
And that's the most harrowing part for me,
Because I wanted one story,
Just you and me.

I dread to turn the pages,
To find out how this ends.
I fear a happy ending does not await us,
But what I fear more is that you're not finished
Writing stories,
Without me.

I sit up at night and wonder,

Was it worth it?


Of one thing I'm sure,

It wasn't and I feel like ****.