She's trouble so they say
She'll slay your heart
Tear it apart
Never mind her history
She's a mystery
Neglected as a child
Emotional abuse
she hates men
Does she have a reason?

behind her eyes lesions and cuts to her soul
Though they call her **** and say she's out of control
She yearns and burns for a man who will calm her inner being
See the hurting girl inside who's trapped in her own head
Instead of taking her to bed for a one night stand
A love that hold her through the lonely hours
A love that will never sour
Or grow cold
Or scold her for being her
A love that inspires fire
That comforts her
and talks her through agonising visions of the past
A love that lasts.

I...I love you
I love you so much, I just can't  gather the words in my head to put together to explain.
Explain how this came about.
What? when? why? how?
How do you go from falling in love ,to being in love, to not being in love at all?
Talking just about every day,  to not talking at all.
Seeing them, to not seeing them at all.
Why do we love love, when love doesn't love us back?  
It's Complicated
It's tragic
Its a mess
I miss you!
I miss you, but only the thought of you.
I want you, but only the thought of you.
The thought of you is attractive,  but I can no longer ride the roller coaster of emotions anymore.
It's draining!
The thrill of traveling to the highest peak of the ride, arriving to cloud 9.
The Joy
The love
The laughter
Until everything comes to a stop, all hell breaks loose.
Speeding down to the gates of hell.
Stress
Heartache
Pain
Just when you think you're done, the ride still continues.
I'm tired... I'm done!!!
If I knew that I would be treated this way, I would've never chose this ride.
It's clear that you don't care!
So why should I?
I... I hate you
I hate you so much,  I CAN gather ALL the words in my head to explain.
To explain how this hate came about.

if i loved you dearly, then,
would you think to stray?
if i needed you again
could i make you stay?

and if i wanted you to see
my person, who i am,
would it pain you so to be
asked to give a ****?

if i loved, if i smiled
but still i wouldn't do,
if i'm not enough, my child,
what am i to you?

Living with the ******
In an old devil town
Gettin high on everything around we're just digging ourselves into the ground
No matter the distractions along the way, they help pave the pave the way, to where Im not supposed to say
Now I'm as wicked as your smile when I was blessed that day by night the devil got the
Best of me cause now I live in this old devil town..

Amid the obstacles, went through
A huge pit downward, survivors?
Who do you expect to fall for traps?
Said you thought through, roughly?

How many lives will end up in ropes?
How many futures crash on rail roads?
The purple papers start to stink blood
You smell the perfume with those stacks

I hate when I'm in the mood to write
But nothing I put down comes out right.
I'm thinking about him and my excitement
But at the same time I'm nervous, also content.

I guess I can't decide whether to be tired or vent.

I know i'm not really myself
when i'm doing this
I'm not quite myself very often
to be honest
but I regret
every single time I wasn't there myself.
I hate this disease
i hate this disorder
and the things it makes me do
when I'm in an island
far away from myself
living in a reality
where stolen things are quite better
than my own
and the moon shines, bitter & anguished
because I stole its shine away
and put it on the star
that lingers in my stolen
rag heart.

I am laying in this bed of ours
inside this home we've built
wondering why you wont touch me
all you speak of is your guilt

you tell me how you want to change
that you're needing to improve
and all the while I'm laying here
just wondering what to do

these millions of thoughts run through my mind
not one better that the next
it all leads back to the same old guilt
it seems I've failed the test

you say that you're happy
while you cry yourself to sleep
but the one who's most afflicted
is the one you choose to keep