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I'll get so **** drunk on senseless time
I'll get drunk on all the crime
Hiding bottles in drawers and desks
Smoking underneath stairs to get rid of pesks
Dealing in parks and day-cares
Shooting guns in pairs

Dried-up tears
And dead years
Drugs laced around drinks
Falling down in skating rinks
Broken skin, hoping to numb the pain
Everyone talks while thoughts go down the drain
Taking forever to let it out
Living forever in this drought

Making drugs in someone else's backyard
Abusing children while praying hard
Gambling high while money is low
Crushing heads just to make a show
Molding young minds just to get cash
Taking happiness and turning it all to ash.

But we live like it's alright
Because soon everything is going to die....

Alcohol take the pain of the tears away
Tears take away all the bad days
Drunken nights full of unnecessary tears
Oh my, oh my. oh my.
Maybe I will get drunk again...
Makenzie Marie Nov 2014
All I want
today
is to give up.

I want to stop eating.
I want to stop thinking.
I want to stand in the snow
and let my body freeze
until I've burned off every last calorie
I want to run until I puke.
Then run more.
Until the moment comes that I black out
Until that empty moment
of empty relief
comes to me
even if it's only a moment.
I just want to be free.

Because I'm living in a personal hell
most days lately I don't even know myself
I can't look in the mirror without disgust
I freaking hate my stinking guts.

I've never hated it so much
that I'd rather stay inside.
I've never been so ashamed
that all I wanted to do is hide.

But today that's where I am.
honey Oct 2014
He stumbles through the door,
I take a kick to the chest,
And a yell,
That I'm worthless and to get the **** away,

I back away,
thinking it was my fault,
slinking to my mother,

I get in the car,
Not knowing what was in store,
Or how long I would really be apart from my hero,
I thought it would just be 2 weeks,
I was wrong,

My daddy comes home from prison,
I had forgotten the things from before,
And I hug him and kiss him,
I missed him,
He smiles and returns my affections,

I look at the woman,
Round and thick,
Jolly, if you please,
And slink behind my "hero",
He tells us it's ok,

We meet our soon-to-be-siblings,
Hugging,
Smiling,
Bonding,

The young one touches too much,
when nobody's around,

My daddy stops letting mommy,
see us,
talk to us,

How long has it been?
I miss my mommy...

Some people came,
He told us to lie,
Or else,
and we do,
They break the rules,

He tells us mommy's dead,
He killed her,
She's in the attic,
I start to cry and ask why,
He answers that she was a *****,

Cops come a week later,
Everyone's screaming,
Holding,
Hiding,
I don't,
I want them to take us,

They take us up the road,
They let me sit in the front,
And press the buttons,
To the station we go,
To the back,

I see someone,
By a white bmw,
Smiling,
Mommy,
I start to cry,
laughing,

I jolted out of the car,
Letting my little brother out,
Running to my real hero,
She saved us from the man that fooled us all,

I am grateful,
I am thankful,
I am happy,


Mom,
It's been 7 years since that day,
We were away from you for a year,
We were all lied to,
Including you,
But I want you to know that Korey was never "Hero",
You were always our hero,
Conner,
Christian,
Me,
I love you,
and we will always be your babies.

cdh
just something.....

update: I showed this to my mom and she cried for 20 minutes and hugged me--
Kay Nov 2014
The magician's basement was no more glamorous than my own.
Old couches, an untouched television.
One corner, however, holds some curiosities.
Loaded dice, trick decks, handkerchiefs.
Handcuffs, matches, rope, knives.

But his handcuffs hold no illusion, only my thin wrists.
They are hard and cold like any other pair
digging in, no escape.

There was no magic.

He offers to show me a trick.
How easy, I think now, it must be
to fool a seven year old girl.

I was tricked.

He told me once that magicians love the dark.
The black, he said, keeps their secrets hidden.
He told me to close my eyes,
and when I could finally open them,
there was no more light.

He hid me in the dark with the rest of his secrets, the rest of his tricks.

K.A.
I may take this one down, I don't know.
Walk away slowly
      Please don't run
Remember
    I'm still holding the gun
It's cocked
        And loaded....
Aimed at my temple
     Why didn't you listen?
The rules....
    WERE SIMPLE!!!
I handed you my heart
    Expecting you not to
        Break It!
You should've known it...
   I'm a ******* poet!
I can turn anything you say
     Into a **** ****** scene
Make you wish
      It was ALL A DREAM
But it's not
       And you're gone
I'm holding the trigger
          Thank God
I decided to use ink
      Instead of bullets...
ellie Oct 2014
each new day that passes i wonder
"if i'd have been there
would you still be here?"
if i had been awake that night and told you it will be okay,
listened to you cry and comforted you until you slept
would things have been different?
if i had supported you,
like you supported me
would my best friend still be with us?

but i guess i'll never know.
i wasn't there,
i wasn't awake,
i didn't support you,
and you're not here.
so i could wonder all i want
but it wouldn't make a difference
would it?
i lost my first REAL best friend on the 6th of october 2012 as she took 45 pills while i slept
Mylz D Wade Oct 2014
Life is a battle, between Bad and Worse.
These eyes only see it two ways,
Not in reverse.
Pain this day,
Sorrow the next.
There is no winning option,
You choose which is best.
Your fate is sealed,
But all hope isn't lost.
Make your decision,
Or you'll pay the cost.
Just ask the question,
They'll whisper your answer.
The two will rejoice.
So don't be ungrateful,
Not many have this choice.
Just pull the trigger,
And you'll hear...
Your final voice.
wrote this years ago.
pia Oct 2014
Love is handing someone a gun and letting it point to your head, believing that they won't pull the trigger.
Dayton Oct 2014
This is safety,
Not my home.
Turn the lights out
As you go.
Let me sleep.
Just let me sleep.

Just me and a blanket
All alone
Will I wake up?
Nobody knows.
Let me sleep.
Please just let me sleep.

I've spent too much time
Waiting on my phone.
Truth be told
I am on my own.
So let me sleep.
I think I'll just sleep.

I dont have a reason
To keep fighting.
Whatever happens
I dont think I'll mind it.
As long as I sleep.
I'm just gonna sleep.

I'm still around
For when im needed.
Obviously I'm not,
I finally believe it.
I need to sleep.
Don't wake me from this sleep.
I'm sorry I keep posting depressing and territory things. I've been alone for some time now. I think I've finally lost everyone. This is the only way I can express my thoughts without bothering anyone who would get offended. My apologies. I won't be doing this for too much longer
suzi sunshine Oct 2014
sometimes i wonder
how i would have turned out
if you didn't decide that i was worthless.
would i be the person i am today?

would i still be wandering
lost around my own house
in a drugged up daze,
blood dripping from my wrist?

would you still ignore
all the ashes on my carpet
and the bottles and baggies
making a rug of their own?

would you still bring me
the things that i ask for
even though you see
what they are making me into?

would you still turn away
when i shove my arms in your face
forcing you to see
my feelings in the flesh?

suddenly, i realize that i am glad
you decided i was not worth your time
because you only made me
into a shell of who i was

not who i am now.
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